posted
Some. More at Sakeriver and The Cactus than here, but some.
And Ralphie,
Seriously, I'm sure I haven't caused offense to most people here, but there are some with delicate enough sensibilities that I might have, and if I have I want to be aware of it.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
Actually, Noemon, I've appreciated the education. I've considered making a list of advice and activities from the "Bra sizes" thread to try out when the time comes. I will keep the forest on a hill overlooking a lake cautionary tale in mind, for sure.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Ok, I'm having a good day, and I thought up all kinds of things I wanted to say while I was reading the thread, so let's see how many of them I can remember .
1)Lisha- You're my favorite new person. Do you have AIM? Maybe we can discuss sometime we can get together? It seems silly we're at the same university and don't know each other. Sort of cool, though. You could be living across the hall or in one of my classes and I wouldn't know it. *ponders*
2) Lucky4- I recognize your name and I think I've read most of your posts. There was one semi recently that I really agreed with, but I don't post much.
3) I'm sometimes tempted to post just saying that I agreed with someone's point or thought that they expressed themselves really well, but I've always been scared that they will either not care or take that as a bad sign. (Me, insecure? Never!) Thinking logically I doubt this is the case, but it generally stops me when I get the urge.
4) A lot of the time when I discuss politics or anything it's much more me thinking out loud than me trying to put together a coherent argument for something. While that makes for good discussions IRL, it really requires the people you're discussing with to be able to intervene, which is impossible in a forum.
5) The reason I posted in the first place was not to get people to tell me how important I am (I know it wasn't for anyone, but with the attention I got I feel like I was). It was more because Ryuko posted right before me and I've always thought of her as one of those people who are jatraqueros from day 1 so I was very surprised and wanted to let her know that other people felt the same way, because that always makes me feel better.
I'm going to go start a thread now. Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
I apologize for being a bit slow at addressing these-and I'll address them both at the same time- but I thought I would say a little more on the subject.
quote: (It's a shame new posters who are welcomed never feel compelled to rush to Hatrack's defense in threads like these . . . wonder what that means . . . )
quote: Trust me - there's no thread that's exclusive, even ones where it looks like it's just two people going back and forth. We're mostly very nice here.
I know that people here are mostly nice, Dagonee, and Icarus, I was welcomed to Hatrack and didn't mean to put Hatrack on the defense, so to speak, if I did. When I agreed a few pages back about feeling ignored or feeling uncomfortable to post in certain threads, it was mostly because of myself and not others.
I'm a strange being; I like knowing someone has read what I wrote but too much attention for something will embarass me more than make me comfortable. That's why I tend to post so sporadically. I have to have the right balance and I have to feel like I'm not asking for too much attention.
I don't know when I started being paranoid about it, but for the longest time I've been scared of being branded an attention hog. But that's more off topic than I intended to go. I know how I am and quite often the issue of feeling ignored is because I make myself so scarce, no one has much of a chance to take notice of me.
That also means I notice groups more and that I'm not in them. But again, that's mostly my fault so I hold no ill feelings for Hatrack on that.
As for threads being exclusive, I know they're not. But it sometimes feel awkward trying to enter into banter between friends and such.
I also have old habits from another forum that I've carried over with me. The people at this forum seem to look down on threads derailing, conversation in threads and certain subjects that have popped up here. It's taking a lot more getting use to than I thought it would.
With all of that said, I think Hatrack is a great place and I don't blame Hatrack for my being uncomfortable here; I should have stated that in my first post a few pages back. On some level I consider myself a real member here because of the joy I feel when I think that I'll be able to share some important future experiences here (first "real" job, moving to IL in a few years, wedding, children, etc.) and continue to read about all of yours.
Okay, I think I've rambled enough and I just know that's going to make me turn a few shades of red.
Posts: 378 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
I was going to remark earlier today on the quasi irony of me being the Severe Hottie and Sara being the Righteous. I mean it's not a full on guffawing irony, just sort of weird.
Posts: 666 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
You feel derailing is discouraged? Wow. Go read my Weird & Creepy thread... we've gone from a potential stalker to Minneapolis bakeries to weapon selection and back in less than 24 hours.
I think I know what you mean, though... some threads people try to "steer" more than others. The ones that turn into complete digressed fluff are usually my favorite. But that's just 'cause fluff is my strong point. Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Oops. I meant at the other forum those things(derailing, conversations, certain topics, etc) were discouraged and that's why I'm not used to it being done here. English and I don't get along. Too bad it's the only language I know. Posts: 378 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote: I don't know when I started being paranoid about it, but for the longest time I've been scared of being branded an attention hog.
quote: When I agreed a few pages back about feeling ignored or feeling uncomfortable to post in certain threads, it was mostly because of myself and not others.
That's exactly what I was trying to say!
for being more coherent than I am
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Noemon said: "Seriously, I'm sure I haven't caused offense to most people here, but there are some with delicate enough sensibilities that I might have, and if I have I want to be aware of it."
I am highly offended by this sort of talk, Noemon. Please clean up your act. I am older than many women in the Hatracian community, and we older people are a bit on the prudish side. My sensibilities are extremely delicate.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
blacwolve: Mind if I quote and frame the part about me being coherent? I'm notorious for getting flustered and just saying, "Um, well, yeah but no", finger snapping when I'm trying to remember a word I should know or for using my hands to create a physical blank to be filled with some help. Tis a proud day in the apartment of Alea.
ElJay: No kidding about threads wandering...I read the entire bra thread, your stalker thread, your mouse thread, the porn thread, and this one, just to name a few that ended much differently than they started. They're how M. Night Shyamalan attempts to make his movies: full of unsuspected twists that make them that much more entertaining. Posts: 378 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Elizabeth is of course the very picture of decorum and ladylike sensibility. I would like to deny all rumors that she emailed me asking for pictures of my adventure in the woods.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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I have something to say about the "in-group" thing.
I think that there are a lot of different people here, and people tend to clump up with others they have interacted with in the past, as long as those interactions have been good.
I think of my self as part of the "in" group, but not as part of it as well.
That is because there isn't just one group, and there is no limit to the number of different groups (or clumps, or whatever) you can belong to. I could mention several groups right of the top of my head..KamaCon, WMASS Picnic, all the different clump meetings, EnderCon.....
The Medical group...Sara/CT/GTR, Alucard, Theca, JenniK, Speed, Ela....and others too varied to mention.
The various DnD groups...
Regional groups, book reading groups, social commentary groups..
All you have to do is develop your own voice, and post, and treat others with some modicum of respect... and BAM!....here is a group for you.
Icky, you are a part of several groups, even if you don't think you are, or just haven't noticed yet. The FL clump, the Corrupted by Disney Greed group...
That is part of why I love Hatrack so much...I am not pidgenholed to one group of friends here, I can float in and out of threads as I see fit.
posted
I've been around a little while... but don't have a terribly high post count. I'm a slow poster. I do however, have many people who can vouch for my existance
posted
I3, You posted an interesting and relevant link on a thread I was interested in. I regret not trying to draw more out of you. I get what you're saying (if I were in the mood to write something like that, I'd write something like that) and my own link here is pretty tenuous right now, but I wanted to let you know that I regret not being in a recognize and encourage promising newcomers mode when I came across you.
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
If I remember correctally I# is probably talking about the me and Irami discussing things.
Irami is not a blushing first-poster, nor an I...which brings up an important point, something that new people might not get...
Just because peopel disagree with you here doesn't mean that they will blast you for it. Also, just because two people are arguing about something doesn't mean that that is all they are discussing...there could a history there, leading up to the agrument.
I had a problem, not with what Irami was saying, but how he said it...an not just that post either. I may not be the brightest bulb onthe x-mas tree, but I am not the dimmest, and I don't like being spoken down to. I felt that his so called eliteism was snobbery at the best, and that isn't how I remember Irami. It wasn't the first time either.
I still think he can be OK, but I have a lot less respect for him now...not because he feels Hatrack is a poor substitute for RL, but because to his apparent hipocracy and his innuendos.
If that contributed to you leaving, I am sorry. I saw a few of your posts and thought you were pretty cool, but I don't think I said that...it is like someone already sadi...if we don't disagree with you then the point was probably well recieved...
I am one of the people who call others on what they are saying..I don't feed the trolls more than once, but I feel that even someone who is acting like a troll might just need a heads-up about it. A few have changed, but most of them don't...and at least I don't have to worry about anyone wondering what I think... Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Actually I have a really bad habit of feeding the trolls. I try to curb it, but a lot of times I just can't resist.
Gosh, the more I examine my own actions, the more I think I'm exactly the sort of poster I3 must not be able to stand! Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
The Cassius Locke thread is an interesting example of Hatrackers trying to welcome someone while still talking about him/her in the third person with subtle and not-so-subtle jabs involving paragraph breaks and other things that a new person could find nitpicky/abrasive/offensive. But Cassius Locke was kind enough to take the proffered suggestions, so I guess he/she is a good sport. *tips hat to Cassius Locke* I hope you stay on the board.
It's all rather amusing actually. *scratches head*
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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quote: Shig, you're in the asian gang. quid is in the "learned about Islam from someplace other than PBS" gang. At least, I'm guessing...
But, Trisha, people here think I'm Japanese, so can't I be in the Asian gang, too?
(and I learned about Islam in High School English Lit class - we had to read portions of the Bible and the Qu'ran. It was cool. Although I know way more now . . .)
quote: My brother in law also joined and got called on needing evidence for some assertion or otherwise not meeting the Hatrack standard of evidence.
Me, too. It wasn't polite by any stretch. I don't remember the exact details, but it was very insulting, very rude, and very obnoxious. And it was so stupid - like I had to provide evidence on top of the many links to various whatevers that I provided, on top of the quoted bits, and still it wasn't enough to satisfy some people who called me rude names and pretty much just blasted me. Oh, and other threads where I just voiced my opinion and that wasn't good enough for whoever it was, either.
I left Hatrack there for a few weeks or a month or something because the reaction I got was so offensive and so over the top. I ended up coming back out of curiousity - is everyone else the same way or what? I ended up just staying out of the serious threads for a long time because of those posts. I'm still not comfortable in the serious threads for that reason.
Now, at least I've been here long enough to recognize that behavior as the exception rather than the rule.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote: (It's a shame new posters who are welcomed never feel compelled to rush to Hatrack's defense in threads like these . . . wonder what that means . . . )
I do this it's worth noting that aside from 13, all the new posters who say they don't quite feel like they fit in are still here.
Blackwolve- my sn is LishaLDSChic. I very much think we do need to get together sometime. I think Hobbes should cook for us; it's my new favorite pastime! (I'm not sure it's his.... )
Posts: 119 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
"trying to welcome someone while still talking about him/her in the third person with subtle and not-so-subtle jabs involving paragraph breaks and other things that a new person could find nitpicky/abrasive/offensive"
I really, really hate that, and flee from threads where it is happening.
Edit: Scott, that is such a good analogy, and the reason for my flight.
[ January 13, 2005, 08:03 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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quote:The Cassius Locke thread is an interesting example of Hatrackers trying to welcome someone while still talking about him/her in the third person with subtle and not-so-subtle jabs
I was thinking the same thing about the Politics POST HERE thread. If people had acted that way on my first thread, I'm sure I wouldn't have come back.
Now, I will grant you that I lurked for awhile and then posted an introduction as my first thread, so that was very unlikely to happen. But still. Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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My point was that the variety at Hatrack is the spice, and if we were all how one person wants us to be, then it would not be as lively and interesting a place.
I've been pretty consistent about always pointing to this variety as the strength I see in Hatrack . . . look for it and then you'll see it. I feel horrible at the thought that it could be what I said that is making you feel this way, anne kate. If you go back and read it again, hopefully you'll see that there was no insult in there. As far as how I feel about you, do you ever read the unsolicited hug thread?
-o-
While it's flattering to be called a pillar of the community, I don't think I have been around long enough by any stretch.
Anne Kate is definitely one, though.
I was thinking about going into whom I thought the real pillars are, but then it occurred to me that that would be akin to a popularity thread/post, and risk hurting other people's feelings, so I won't.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Icky, you're a pillar. You are probably the single most insecure pillar we've got, in that you're probably the only pillar who honestly worries when your posts don't get replies, but you're a pillar nonetheless. Trust me on that one. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
quid, why does anybody seek to be a pillar? I want to be generally respected and well-liked. You certainly are those things. CT is considered a pillar, and I think she has specifically said she would prefer not to be thought of that way. If you are a pillar, all that means is that when you show a sign of humanity, people are more likely to rip you apart for it. It means that your casual words are taken way too seriously by people, and you have the capacity to hurt feelings uintentionally by whom you do or don't pay attention to, or by what you say. Why would you seek that?
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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I know that I'm not, and it doesn't bother me. I actually have never thought of it before.
Perhaps I should insert a into that comment? I thought it would be obvious as a joke, but considering. . . Well, I'm not always as funny in the way I come across as I think I am when . . . Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
"CT is considered a pillar, and I think she has specifically said she would prefer not to be thought of that way."
Well, in all fairness, Sara's not a normative example; I don't think she'd be comfortable dying before she could a) save the entire world and b) erase all evidence of her existence from the universe. She's almost aggressively selfless.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
Icky, That's like asking why people would want to be a revered leader. There are plenty of benefits. Leto was able to get away with some pretty egregious crap without being called on it because he was a pillar of the community. I think you tend to get more, not less leeway.
The major costs (and some of the major benefis) come from you not being a normal human being to other people. Check out any of the "We Miss Ralphie" threads and you can see this. It's like "We hope Ralphie comes back so that she can entertain us again." Get into that trap and people expect you to just give and generally don't try to see more of you than what you are giving and they don't see you as someone who wants or sometimes needs to be given in return. Often times, people finding you superior leads them to label themselves inferior and think that nothing they give can be interesting or valuable (and actually depending on what you're looking for that can be a good thing or a bad one).
But on the other hand, attention, power, and adoration can be heady things.
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
quid, I would have figured you were kidding, had you used no smilie whatsoever. But you used the sad smilie! Have you no decency? I mean, come on! Look at this guy: Who doesn't immediately want to hug this little guy and figure out what's wrong?
Bah.
Smilie abuser.
See if I ever take your smilies seriously again.
-o-
Okay, squick, that makes sense. As far as getting away with crap, yeah, Leto got away with crap. But I remember when Sara got ticked off, immediately there were people saying, essentially, Look at your so-called pillar. All of her virtue is just a sham. People give power to those they consider superior or whatever, but some people also take delight in ripping such people off of their pedestals. For Sara, it was the pedestal or the pillory. She couldn't just be. Couldn't just get pissed off or whatever.
I'm feeling uncomfortable talking about other people, but I'm not sure how else to discuss this except by example. So I won't stop, but I apologize if I get it wrong or offend anybody.
quote:Get into that trap and people expect you to just give and generally don't try to see more of you than what you are giving and they don't see you as someone who wants or sometimes needs to be given in return.
See? That's why I'm not a pillar. I don't really give anything. I am not the Funny. I am not the Helpful. I'm not the Knowledgeable. I'm just the Blandly Nice. I entertain nobody. I take at least as much as I give. Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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