posted
If you could start, run, and own any business in the world, what would it be? The next Google? Fast-food franchise owner? Mercenary company? Televangelist network? Musician? The next Enron? Author? Non-profit organization? Assume that it would be financially viable, and that you have all the necessary startup capital and skills.
My dream business would be running an opium den, but that is illegal. Second place would be more than a coffee shop, not really a bar, with bits of internet cafe and private library thrown in.
The main, largest room would have a small bar where coffee could be ordered. I would also sell wine by the glass or bottle, but no beer and probably no liquor. Couches would run along the walls, a decently large stage would be on one end, and the instead of being one plane the floor would be essentially three or four large steps.
The next room would be the smoking room. It would have a completely separate ventilation system. As many hookahs as practical would be its focus. Tobacco for them would be sold up front, but anyone wanting cigarettes or cigars would be on their own. The smoking hours would be the same as the alcohol hours. Neither I nor my employees need to be breathing that stuff while cleaning the room. If practical, I would ID anyone wanting access.
There would also be a semi-private room with the library in it. Some books would be free to borrow or take, with users being encouraged to donate their own. Others would be in a locked cabinet, available only to people who paid a membership fee. That collection would consist mainly of hard-to-find books. This room would have a large fireplace. For a fee, or if I just felt like it, it could be used for closed gatherings.
Smoking in any room other than the smoking room would get one kicked out for the night on the first offense, and a permanent ban upon the second. Smoking outside but within five feet of the entrance would be a ban for the rest of the day. Getting obnoxiously drunk, or just obnoxious, would be a lifetime ban upon the first offense. Stealing one of my books would be a ban, a civil suit, and me calling a hit man.
All rooms would have wireless access. The private room would also have a router or two, because I would host LAN parties every few weeks. Friday and Saturday nights would have live music of as many genres as practical and appropriate for the venue. The main and smoking rooms would have projectors for movie nights. Movie night, not film night? Yes, because while foreign films and Sundance winners would be shown, so would any Hollywood production worth viewing. Board games and cards could be checked out for free. If practical, a weekly RPG session that ran for six months would be pretty cool, with the RPG changing every half-year.
Other regular, semi-regular, or occasional attractions would be book clubs, writing workshops, poetry slams, guest speakers, fundraising for charities I found appropriate or at least did not hate, literacy promotion, plays, watching and heckling the State of the Union address, an annual drinking competition, and weekly debates. The drinking competition would include total drinks consumed, last awake, BAC, and a comprehensive liability waiver. The debates would cover politics, religion, philosophy, pop culture, and underground culture. The participants would be selected by writing an essay, for being local or national celebrities, for winning previous debates, for possessing certain traits, belonging to a certain group, and by random chance. The judges would be chosen by random selection of volunteers or bribery of the owner. There would be a small cover charge, and the winner(s) would receive about half of the proceeds for a prize.
So that is pretty much my dream business. I doubt there is any jurisdiction in this country where all of that would be permitted, and I imagine at least three quarters of the activities are not financially viable... but if I was sure of financial security, that is probably what I would do. Shades of Hatrack, except in real life with easy access to wine and coffee, an actual left-wing majority, and a crazier owner.
So, how would you exploit your workers, customers, and fellow citizens of the world for fun and profit?
Posts: 1364 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Lots of books of all types, arranged alphabeticaly and by genre/topic. All prices fixed based on the printed cover price, so if something really cool came in, some lucky kid who enjoys books too can afford it.
Hopefully, I would be able to take on special orders for people, and spend time looking for those hard-to-get out of print books. (Those might cost a bit more.)
I'd add a little niche with a couple of plush chairs and perhaps a little gas fireplace.
I always loved those places, and would/will go out of my way to visit them, as opposed to the big chain stores.
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
Either a bookstore, a cafe with a limited menu and poetry readings/book groups/songwriter nights all the time, or a business custom-designing and making dresses, costumes, skirts, and such. No mundane clothing, only special stuff, and purses and jewelry to go with it.
posted
I want to have a frame shop where anyone can find anything and everything they need, and if it doesn't exist, I will make it. I get so frustrated driving all over town trying to find just the right dimension frame that doesn't cost a ridiculous amount of money that I don't have. I want my stuff to be affordable. No astronomical markups just because. I wouldn't charge $4 per cut to carve out a mat. (What a load of crap that is.)
I imagine a workshop complete with power tools in the back where I toil away at my latest creation and listen for the bell signaling a customer. Out front would be everything necessary for one-stop frame shopping.
I also imagine a website with every option available to previsualize the perfect display of any picture.
And somewhere there would be a darkroom because, of course, I would sell my own stuff as well.
That would be awesome.
Posts: 1090 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
When you have that store, will you custom frame things for me without charging me $395 for a plain box frame?
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
I would love to offer some sort of inexpensive/easily affordable afternoon-early morning childcare center for single parents. I hear so many stories about children being left alone because their parent has to work multiple jobs or night jobs. I'd love to offer a place for the children so their parents know they're not getting into any trouble.
There'd be a nursery for the younger children, a room for the older kids to take naps, a study room with computers, a small library for all ages, a kitchen for snacks/meals, bathrooms of course, a rec room for the older kids and a play area for the little ones.
I can't say whether or not there'd be much of a real demand for it (or if they already exist in some form already) but if there were, I'd love to do it one day.
Posts: 378 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
I would love to own my own tree nursery and/or lawn service (or perhaps truck farm). Actually, I still hope to fulfill this dream in the future, even if I am already in my mid-forties.
Farmgirl
(Danzig - I really like your idea -- you present it so vividly and in so much detail -- I can tell you have thought about it a lot. I hope it happens for you some day)
posted
A combination bookstore and pillow store. Because those are my two loves. While there might be a couple of oversized/overstuffed chairs and sofas around the place, it would mainly consist of bookshelves with massive amounts of pillows thrown around. So when you wanted to read the book before you bought it, you just plopped down on the pillow and read. Then, you could buy the book (because you enjoyed it) and the pillows (because they made reading the book so comfortable). I also might include a coffee shop or stage for late night stuff or readings, but with a coffee shop I would be inclined to worry about people spilling on my pillows.
My dream business would be located in a two-story warehouse-style brick or stone building with a view of the lake. It would have ample parking and beautiful landscaping, and lots and lots of windows. Inside, each of my 15 or 20 employees would have their own office space, each one a unique shape, size, and style. They would have free reign to paint and decorate as they saw fit. The ceilings would be high, and there would be several bright and open areas for people to gather and relax during the day. Fluorescent lighting would not be allowed.
I'd start out by hiring most of our friends, as most of our friends are talented nerds who would have a lot to offer a 3D animation studio, be it design, animation, pre-production, or coming up with new software tools. I would pay them each a handsome salary, and make sure they stayed happy with their work. There would be an office cat.
We'd start out doing local and regional commercials, to get our feet under us. As we streamlined our workflow and honed our skills, we'd begin to take more and more challenging projects, until we were working at a national level. When the income from the commercial work was enough to support us comfortably, we'd all come up with ideas for cool short films, and try our hands at creating a fun 5 minute piece to enter in computer animation festivals. Once we got the hang of that, we'd start shooting for longer and longer pieces, until we were so good that we could drop the commercials and just work on films.
posted
blacwolve and I once talked about starting a book publishing company, I don't remember most of the basics of it though.
Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
I'd be a writer. Oh wait, I am! Okay, I'd be a published author of numerous sci-fi novels which won Hugo awards and such. And I'd make a lot of money off them and off the movie rights or movie scripts I sell to Spielberg or a wannabe in Hollywood.
I would also have writing retreats in our home a couple or four times a year in our various residences around the world. But I'll settle for starting in Sri Lanka.
So. LankaCon 2005 (or 2006) - who wants to make it into a writer's retreat a few days or a week before or after?
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
I've been thinking, because there are so many things I love to do. You all know I'm a big crafty person, I dabble in everything from tole painting to quilting to making furniture and re-upholstering.
But since I plan to be a children's librarian because, among other things, I love kids and books, I think it would be so cool to have a children's bookshop.
I'd sell primarily kids books up through young adult, but I'd also have a nice magazine collection and smaller section of books for moms and dads. There'd be a cafe in it, that would offer good food for all ages - nice fresh salads, fresh vegetables, cold cuts - on the order of a really good deli, but with plenty of kid friendly food that they would eat but would be a lot better for them than a McDonald's cheeseburger and fries.
So there'd be place to eat, with floors that cleaned easily and lots of booster chairs and high chairs so it's completely kid-friendly.
There'd be play centers where the kids could play, lots of pillows on the floor and rocking chairs, private nursing rooms so Moms don't have to nurse in the bathroom. Regular story times and puppet shows.
I'd have some kind of security in place, so parents could feel free to wander over to the magazine rack and browse without fear that someone will run off with their child, but I wouldn't allow parents to dump their kids there and leave either. It would be a place that above all, encouraged parents to sit and read with their children. And a place that taught kids that reading is fun, and helped develop them into lifelong learners. I'd work with the local preschools and do things to encourage reading, sponsoring free book giveaways and such. I'd also have tutoring there in the afternoon for kids (and adults) having trouble reading.
I'd be bankrupt in a year, but it would be fun!
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
An idea generation service. You pay us to brainstorm for you. New concepts, breakthrough ideas, and finishing touches. Anything you can conceive of, and plenty you haven't yet. Big light bulbs clicking on over your head guaranteed.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
I thought about this while unemployed but I couldn't think of a way to make it profitable. I don't know how people who actually do it make a profit.
But it would be an internet cafe called "LAN Party" It would have all the games and such and it would run on machines fast enough to handle them. I would advertise on hint sites/game forums.
I would sell snacks and drinks and such. I would also sell the games that people were paying $5/hr to play on my suped up gamer machines. But mostly it would be about the people coming in to play on my machines.
Failing that I would open a coffee bar named "The Twitchery".. or maybe a sushi bar named "Tako Bell" (think I'd get sued?)
posted
I had thought of a restaurant where everything is really good for you. But you really can't get repeat customers without giving them something bad for them.
Posts: 2010 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Pix, that was my dream too. Then Cyberjocks opened right down the street. I console myself with the fact that they did a much better job of it than I would have.
posted
I'd also like to teach young people going out on their own (like off to college or a mission) how to cook. I taught my sister how to cook. I'm pretty good at it, and it was really fun.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Space travel for the common man-- I'd want to part of a company that designs aircraft; sorta like Scaled Composites. We'd find a cheap way to let people travel in space, maybe build some kind of commericial orbiter, and shave hours off travel time, maybe even allow average tourists to go to the moon.
Alternatively, I'd want to get a server and program a massive Homeworld-esque game where people could build there civilizations, conquer planets, extend their empire, go to war, and trade with others, all as a huge real time strategy game. Non-paying members could access the "free" portions of the game and have limits on the size of their empires, while paying memebers could take over the galaxy. I could run it like Time of Defiance, where the game restarts every month or so and you could get on a top-ten score list of some sort.
posted
kq -- that's a ministry I'd love to have at our church. Life Skills. Basic cooking, organize a kitchen and meal planning. How to shop at the grocery store, pick the right vegetables and fruits.
And other skills too. How to do laundry. How to manage a bank account. How to organize a living space. Time management and organization: how often things should be cleaned, how long things are good in the refridgerator, how often you should see a doctor/dentist, breaking down time demands to be able to make deadlines, etc.
I seem to remember that the LDS Relief Society did a lot of this sort of thing and have often thought that our church could take a few notes toward helping young (and not so young) people get started.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
A yarn store. Mr. Opera and I were actually talking about it this weekend, but right now just isn't the time.
I'd love to carry specialty as well as regular yarns. I'd also carry patterns for knitting, crocheting, and cross-stitching. I picture weekly stitch-n-bitch meetings, beginners' lessons, and a cozy little coffee area for people to sit at while they look through pattern books.
posted
I've dreamed of opening a restaurant and nightclub in a college town. I'd call it The Standard Deviation and we'd have a different guest chef every week to cook something unexpected.
There'd be a performance space where bands could play and get paid a percentage of the cover.
The bar (yeah, there'd have to be a bar, wouldn't there?) would be in the shape of a giant bell curve and all the napkins would have dumb facts of a statistical nature. Or puns.
Um...actually, I haven't given it much thought. Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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