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Author Topic: Miscarriage support thread
beverly
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I just miscarried for the first time. I guess I was starting to feel "invincable" because I had had three perfect or near-perfect pregnancies. Three for three and all that. It wasn't something that I thought consciously, but I certainly took pride in my body's ability to make babies well.

I am not looking for fountains of sympathy, though I wouldn't turn genuine condolences away. I am OK. I count myself very fortunate because as far as miscarriages go, this one went about as smoothly and clearly as possible. But the main purpose of this thread is to allow myself and others the opportunity to talk about this.

Miscarriage just isn't something a lot of people feel comfortable talking about. There is pain, there is loss, and in cases of women who aren't sure they will ever carry to full term, it can be almost crippling. Certainly the pain of a stillbirth or a child death is worse (((dpr))) and the struggle to conceive at all is a whole 'nother pain in and of itself. But I am aware that I am not the only Jatraquera that has been through a recent miscarriage.

So here is a place where you can open up. I hope this can be a healing thread for me and others.

WARNING: To any males reading, I cannot promise that this thread won't get more graphic than you are comfortable with. Read at your own discretion.

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Space Opera
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I'm sorry, bev.

I think this thread is a good idea. You're right, a lot of people don't feel comfortable talking about it. When I miscarried in November, I had several relatives who acted like nothing had happened - nothing was ever said. I couldn't believe that these same people, who had been so sympathetic when my dog died, couldn't muster up an "I'm sorry" for a miscarriage. It still makes me upset.

How are you feeling, physically?

space opera

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BannaOj
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I have a dear friend that miscarried I think in her second month. It was their first child and they'd already gotten excited and told everyone. She ended up getting pregnant again about a month or two later, but during the entire pregnancy she couldn't help but think of what "might have been" with the baby she didn't have, I know it was hard for her, and even though she now has two bouncing boys, she still thinks about it sometimes. She said the hardest thing was the ping pong back and forth with the extended family of pregnant! not pregnant [Frown] pregnant again, and their reactions weren't the nicest with the second pregnancy, because other people judged it to be "too soon" when it really wasn't any of their business.

All I could do was be there as much as possible and give her a shoulder. She also had to take the PCAT (for pharmacy school) test while she was miscarrying, they already knew she was and that there wasn't anything to be done, and she went and took the test anyway. She scored in the 99.9 percentile, and I wonder if focusing on the test actually helped get her mind through the physical part of the miscarraige.

AJ

[ March 24, 2005, 12:24 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]

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Little_Doctor
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I'm glad you're taking it so well. Before my youngest brother was born, my mom miscarried twice. It took a lot out of her, and she almost didn't want to try that third time. It's good that you haven't gotten very wrapped up in it. Don't be afraid to try again.
[Group Hug]

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TMedina
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While I have nothing meaningful to offer to the discussion at hand, I will offer some genuine condolences for your loss and the baby's.

-Trevor

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Belle
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Beverly, I am very, very sorry.

I'll share my own experience, though it may not be all that helpful.

I was undergoing fertility treatments, and I was very emotionally distraught anyway. The drugs I was on made me a raw wound - the slightest thing hurt me or angered me.

We had been trying the clomid for just two months, when I was late. I automatically assumed it was good news - after all, like you I'd already had a healthy baby and wasn't planning on difficulties getting pregnant.

Before I could get to the doctor for a test to confirm it, I had very heavy bleeding which was deiniftely not normal. I called him and he said basically there was nothing he could do - that if I was miscarrying, he couldn't stop it.

It was terrible - the worst of it took place at a friend's wedding - I was helping out in the kitchen getting food ready to serve and everyone was so happy and joyful and I was crying in pain, both physical and emotional.

Cherie, my aunt (Fael on the boards, but she hasn't been here in a long time since she started grad school) was the only one who knew about it and tried to help me through it. She had been through it herself years before.

After the worst was over, I had to leave the bathroom, go out to the wedding and act as if I was happy for my friends. That was probably the hardest part, I just wanted to crawl into bed and cry.

I can't offer much in the way of condolences - I know how upsetting the whole experience can be. All I can recommend is curl up next to your husband and let yourself grieve for a while.

I'm so sorry sweetie. [Frown]

(((Bev)))

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Belle
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I hate to just post my unhappy experience - so let me post this too.

With the twins I had some early bleeding, naturally I panicked. Again, called my doctor, again was told there was nothing that could be done but just keep my feet up and rest. He said he'd pray for me - this was a different doctor than the other one and I felt better just knowing he probably cared more.

At any rate, I was terrified but this time everything was okay and nine months later had two healthy babies.

So while this experience won't ever leave you completely - and it may be cause for some additional anxiety when you get pregnant again - there are happy endings.

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beverly
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Space Opera: I am feeling much better today than I was yesterday, and yesterday much better than the day before. I was only 5 weeks along when the bleeding started. I don't know what a miscarriage is "supposed" to feel like, so I don't know how it compares, but I was never really in "pain". I just felt icky, bloated, and sick to my stomach.

The odd thing is that if anything I actually bled less in this than in a normal mestration. That struck me as odd. It was yesterday that our embryo passed from me. I still don't know what to think of that. [Frown]

AJ: One thing that has been difficult for me is that this miscarriage happened in the midst of a very stressful time for me. I haven't had this much "on my plate" in a long time. I have many things I am responsible for right now, deadlines, whatnot. I wish this had happened during a time when I could take it easy. But then, I think being "busy" has helped me not get too depressed.

Little Doctor: Thanks. I know you have been through a more shocking event recently than this. I am almost wary of my intense desire to try and conceive ASAP. I'm not sure if that is healthy for my body or not. But it makes me very sad to *not* be pregnant right now. That is hard.

Trevor: Thank you. [Smile]

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ketchupqueen
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I don't want to intrude on the thread, but what should I do to help a friend who has miscarried? Does she need me to just sit with her and listen, and cry with her if she cries? Should I offer to help by taking care of her house, cooking for her, or watching her other children for a day or two so she can grieve? Or is it better to just be there but let her go about her normal life? Will it help just to acknowledge that that was her baby, and I'm so sorry she had to lose it and go through that experience? What does a woman who has miscarried need in a friend?
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quidscribis
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Bev, this is a good thread to start.

I have no experience with this, so I know that I don't understand, but I have been told that it's pretty close to losing a child, which I also don't understand. I can imagine, though, and I imagine it must be very difficult. I'm sorry to all who've gone through this. [Group Hug]

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BannaOj
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Ask your friend what she wants and needs, all of the above sound like possibly good ideas, but it would depend on the person. The last thing you want to do is go and take over someone's life with "helping" when all they want to do is be alone for a while.

My friend and I would on long walks at night. We had cell phones and it was in a very safe area. We'd just walk, and talk and walk some more. It was a beautiful fall and the nights were warm and comforting.

AJ

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Dagonee
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((beverly))

I'm so sorry.

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Belle
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kq, I really appreciated having my aunt there because I knew she'd been through it before. She just held my hand and was there for me. I don't remember even talking to her very much, just being reassured by her presence.

What kept me from just moping around in depression was that I had another child that needed me. I would think helping her with any physical tasks she doesn't feel up to would be a good thing, but she would probably benefit from getting back into her routine as soon as she can. I did not dwell on my experience, in fact kept trying to conceive with the fertility meds, and was pregnant with Emily soon after.

I don't think it would have helped me to just sink into depression. Getting back to my normal life helped. In fact, it may be good I was at that wedding that day - I did have to get up off the floor and go face life.

Bev, honey, you sound like you're doing great. *hugs*

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beverly
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Thank you Belle. Don't feel bad about sharing your experience! I want people to share those experiences here. I know what you mean about having to be "happy for other people" when you are so sad inside. When it is happenening, you just want to be able to take time out from life, have time for yourself. I have not had a lot of that, but I have had some.

My sister bled with her last baby and was so scared. But she went on to have a perfect baby. The really hard thing for her was that she had lost a baby at 18 weeks previously. Had to give birth in a hospital and all that. The baby was just a couple weeks short of being considered a stillbirth, so she couldn't have the body to bury or have a funeral for. They found nothing wrong, no identifiable cause of death. The fetus seemed perfect and normal. After going through that, I would be so scared for future pregnancies!

I expect I will be cautious when I do get pregnant again. But I hope I will still be excited like I was this time. Oh I was so excited! [Frown] [Frown]

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dread pirate romany
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bev, I am so sorry for your loss. As much as you can, take it easy and keep taking your vitamens.

kq.....
quote:
I don't want to intrude on the thread, but what should I do to help a friend who has miscarried? Does she need me to just sit with her and listen, and cry with her if she cries? Should I offer to help by taking care of her house, cooking for her, or watching her other children for a day or two so she can grieve?
Yes, and yes. Be specific in offers of help- if you say, "Call me if you need anything," she probably won't. But if you say, "Can I come over Wednesday and take your kids to the park", she'll probably say yes.


[/QUOTE] Will it help just to acknowledge that that was her baby, and I'm so sorry she had to lose it and go through that experience? [/QUOTE]
Yes

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Synesthesia
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*hugs and support to all who went through that*
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dread pirate romany
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bev, that made me so sad about your sister. I don't know how long ago that happened; one thing I have come across in my reading is that most states now have laws allowing parents to take their miscarried (under 20 weeks) babies for burial. But the hospital staff may not know that unless someone demands it.

It is so hard to deal with the sadness of suddenly not being pregnant, but unless you're working against the clock for some reason it's a good idea to wait two or three months.

[ March 24, 2005, 01:02 PM: Message edited by: dread pirate romany ]

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beverly
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Talking to my Mom and sister helped a lot. They had both experienced similar losses and mine was "easier" in comparison to their experiences.

KQ, I'm glad you asked the question. A couple of people mentioned to me that they didn't know if they were "saying the right things" or "being supportive enough". Both times I was surprised. My thought was that they were doing great just listening to me. I appreciated them letting me ramble, even though I knew I was sounding irrational and lost.

But one thing did bother me. Twice someone said to me that if it weren't for early pregnancy tests, I could have been spared the mental and emotional pain of the miscarriage. I might have thought it was "just a period".

My response was, are you crazy? First, if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing. I am glad I was aware of what was happening to my body. Secondly, I would have been pretty certain, but I would have always wondered. And the not knowing would eat me up. It's like the difference between someone who's child turns up missing and is never found and the person who's child's body is found. Finding your childs dead body is terrible. But I think the not knowing is worse. Knowing, you can deal with it, heal, and get on with life.

I was pretty sure I was pregnant just from the way I was feeling. And my periods are never late. Plus, I would think passing a bloody sac would have been a dead giveaway. Unfortunate pun not intended.

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dread pirate romany
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Oh, and how is porter? Do the kids know what's going on?

I just wish I could give you as hug in person!

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dread pirate romany
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quote:
But one thing did bother me. Twice someone said to me that if it weren't for early pregnancy tests, I could have been spared the mental and emotional pain of the miscarriage. I might have thought it was "just a period".

[Group Hug] People can say hurtful things....I'm sorry they said that to you.
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beverly
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Hi, romanylass. [Smile] I hope you are doing OK.

It was several years ago that this happened to my sister. She had one child already at the time, whereas now she has three (living).

Yes, it was really hard for my sister to see and hold her dead little boy and then return home with nothing. I think they gave her a little "care package" of some sort, but it wasn't the same. There was no sense of closure, or, at least not enough. My mother gave her a teddy bear on a little rocking chair to "represent" her little Collin who never took a breath. I think that really meant a lot to her.

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beverly
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I think Porter is OK. He hasn't really shared any of his feelings about it, he has mostly just tried to be supportive of me, be what I need him to be.

The kids are pretty oblivious. Our oldest "kinda" knew I was pregnant, but he hasn't brought it up since and neither have I.

[ March 24, 2005, 01:08 PM: Message edited by: beverly ]

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beverly
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Thank you, Dagonee and Synesthesia. [Smile]
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AntiCool
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We're doing fine. The kids have no idea that there is anything going on, at least on a conscious level.

It's been hard having my nurturing/protecting desires frustrated because there is nothing that I can do to take away her pain. I've mostly just tried to be generally helpful, supportive, and available.

My feelings are mostly centered around bev. During pregnancy, it takes me a long time to get emotionally connected to the baby (truth to tell, I'm not sure it really happens until after birth), so whatever feelings about the lost child are almost completely eclipsed by my concern for my wife.

[ March 24, 2005, 01:11 PM: Message edited by: AntiCool ]

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Noemon
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Ah, bev, I'm sorry this happened. I'll be thinking of you.
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Stray
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(((bev and porter))) I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.
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Space Opera
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Bev, I'm so glad that you're getting the support you need and that you're okay physically. I asked about that because mine was physically terrible. I spent the first 2 nights on the bathroom floor because I was so sick to my stomach. I'm not sure how much of that was due to the miscarriage or emotional upset, though. I had a lot of cramping and a lot of blood. It sounds terrible to say, but I was relieved when the embryo actually passed. I felt like the worst was over and that if my body could start to heal then my mind/heart could as well. Big hugs.

space opera

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beverly
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I'm sorry SO! Mine was not intense in physical pain, just kinda always there. But you know, when the embryo passed I was relieved too. Then I felt guilty for feeling relieved. I felt like, now it's all over and I can get back to normal. But it just seemed so wrong to flush our little creation down the toilet like a dead goldfish.

You see, this pregnancy seemed doomed from the start. In the past, I have always been able to test early and get a positive result. In fact, every month that we have not used birth control around ovulation, I have conceived without fail. I was pretty darn cocky about it.

When I first tested early, negative. Oh well, I thought, too early. Tried again a few days later. Negative. Hmmm. When I got my hands on some more tests, I tried again during a time I was sure I would get a positive. Faint line. So very faint. Two days later, hoped for a comforting confirmation. Again, so very faint. But better than last time.

I actually saw the midwives a few days later because they are just cool that way. They aren't all, "No, we don't want to see you until you are 10 weeks or more along...." Their pregnancy test so faint.... I thought maybe I just wasn't as far along as I thought. I told myself everything would be fine. They always had been fine. But I had this nagging feeling of something being wrong. They ordered a blood test the results of which I didn't get till half a week later. (It was positive for pregnancy.) By then the bleeding had started and I had taken two more hpt, if anything, fainter than before.

All I can say is, I look forward to the day that I see a good strong line in that test window.

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Elizabeth
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I'm sorry, Beverly.
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Ryuko
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Oh, bev. I'm really sorry. I'm glad you're not giving up hope. [Smile] I guess I don't know what people believe about aborted/miscarried babies, but I think they go to heaven...

[ March 24, 2005, 02:17 PM: Message edited by: Ryuko ]

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Brinestone
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I'm so sorry, beverly. *hugs* I hope you heal physically and emotionally relatively quickly.

I'm sorry if this is insensitive, but what is the greatest pain in a miscarriage? Is it grief for the baby? A feeling of failure? The crushing of the excitement at being pregnant? Something else?
I think knowing what it feels like might help me to know how to best comfort someone who's experiencing that kind of pain, and I selfishly kind of want to know, just in case it ever happens to me.

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rivka
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(((((beverly&porter)))))

Your experience sounds remarkably similar to mine, beverly. I also was sure I was pregnant, but the pregnancy tests kept saying otherwise . . . until finally a faint line. I felt (strongly) that something was wrong, and called my OB.

The blood serum test showed a level of HCG that normally corresponds to about a week below how far along I thought I should be. But a test two days later showed the level rising as it should be, so she said most likely I had ovulated late.

About 10 days after that, I was having bad cramps. I thought, "Oh, my period. *beat* No, it can't be! Huh . . ."

Losing a baby when you've barely figured it is a baby is an emotional rollercoaster.

Much sympathy!

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dread pirate romany
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(((hugs all round))))
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Dan_raven
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Let me chime in with my condolences as well.

About ten years ago my wife and I went through a miscarriage. It almost ended our marriage because I was too dulled by the event to be able to be there for my wife.

Give your husband a big hug. He is hurting too, but may not know how to share it.

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Zalmoxis
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My heart goes out to all those who have experienced miscarriage.

May you all have people who say and do the appropriate things. May you feel the pain, but not feel bad if the pain you feel is different or not as intense as someone elses.

I found this Slate discussion helpful. It's both personal, political and kind of academic so it may not work for some readers.

For those interested in the medical and emotional aspects of miscarriage this Slate post might be helpful.

-------
I think the one thing that hurts most is when people say "don't worry -- this is very common" or "I had two miscarriages and went on to have five more children."

It's not common for those who go through it.

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mothertree
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(((bev))) I'm so sorry. I'm sure you remember that our oldest son died. You know, the one Porter had the dream about. :little smile:. The anniversaries are always tough for me.

So I guess this was already going on on Tuesday? Losing the baby when no one even knows you are pregnant must be harder in a way. But while people are less likely to acknowlegde it, I guess they are less likely to bring it up out of the blue. It's brave of you to share it with us.

quote:
But one thing did bother me. Twice someone said to me that if it weren't for early pregnancy tests, I could have been spared the mental and emotional pain of the miscarriage. I might have thought it was "just a period".

God give me the strength to deal with well-meaning people.

What are the deadlines and stuff? Will the world really end if you drop a couple of balls?

P.S. to Ruth- I'm sure what hurts worst varies a bit by who it happens to. The most physically painful part of losing my son was that he got really sick about day three when my milk came in, but prior to that he had been a very enthusiastic feeder, so the production was unbelievable. It sounds like such a silly thing, but they were swollen and feverish and just wanted someone to cut them off.

I don't have any memory of recovery from the birth because I wound up getting sedated and missed the funeral. I think that was the hardest part emotionally.

[ March 24, 2005, 04:14 PM: Message edited by: mothertree ]

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Annie
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Lots of of condolence and love to both Mary and Porter.
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Telperion the Silver
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[Cry]
((Mary & Porter))

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ludosti
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I can't imagine what it must be like to miscarry - to lose your child before ever meeting them. [Frown]

I don't know how my mom did it - only 2 of her 7 pregnancies were successful. She had an ectopic before having me and then had 4 miscarriages before having my brother. She never talks much about her miscarriages, though she has talked about her ectopic. I can't help but wonder if I have brothers and sisters in heaven waiting for me to meet them.

I hope that you and Porter will find comfort during your grieving.

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beverly
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Brinestone, those are excellent questions. I can answer how it feels for me, but I imagine every case is very different. For instance, I am very confident that I will go on to have a perfectly normal pregnancy the very next time we try for it. I have an excellent track record. When there is trouble conceiving or carrying a baby to term at all, I imagine it is far, far more devistating. I imagine that was the case for Dan and his wife. [Frown]

For me, it is difficult for me to think of our embryo as a baby. I think of it more as a hope for a baby. So I feel more like the hope of a baby was lost than an actual baby, if that makes any sense. I'm sure what Trisha went through was much more profound and wrenching.

It is emotionally painful to not be pregnant right now. I want to be. It is painful to erase all the little mental paths that my mind was going in before.

I do feel like I failed somehow. I know that feeling is irrational, but remember how I actually take pride in my ability to make babies. This is a dent in that pride. But I feel very fortunate to have the confidence that I do that I will be pregnant again and soon. If I didn't have that confidence, I think I would be more of a wreck right now.

Trisha, yes it was going on. On the drive there, I was feeling icky and I was wondering if I would be able to loosen up and have fun. I was able to, and I was glad. There was *no* way I was going to mention my miscarriage at the party. I mean, talk about a party killer! [Smile]

As for my deadlines, as it is I am "cheating" a bit on my use of time. I don't really know if I can drop any of these responsibilities or not, but I will consider it.

rivka, your experience really does sound similar to mine. I had remembered hearing that low hCG's that don't grow tend to be a bad sign. I was so overconfident that I didn't listen to the little voice inside that said it wasn't going to last.

[ March 24, 2005, 05:25 PM: Message edited by: beverly ]

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Irami Osei-Frimpong
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I'm sorry, Bev. [Frown]
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Mr.Gumby
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I kinda know how it feels to have a miscarriage. My sister and two of my sister-in-laws had miscarriages. It's now common for my brothers and sister (plus their spouse) to wait a while until they announce any new pregnancies.

[ March 24, 2005, 07:07 PM: Message edited by: Mr.Gumby ]

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dawnmaria
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My heart goes out to all of you. I unfortunately know what you're going through. I lost our first baby 2 years ago this month. We tried for what seemed like a long time but it really wasn't to get pregnant again and we're truly lucky to have our beautiful little girl, Leslie. Just turned 5 months yesterday! I think what has touched me most throughout this thread is your husbands support of you Bev. He sounds like a great source of care and strength. I love mine but he took our miscarriage differently then I did. He invited friends over 3 days after to go out. He said I shouldn't stay at home/in bed and wallow in my grief. I know he meant well but I thought he was being a jackass. I explained that while to him this was something tragic that happened, it was to me still happening. I had the constant reminder with pain and heavy bleeding. I felt my body had failed me. And our friends wife was a piece of work. Asking me what happened, wanting gory details. He finally understood my point of view but by then I was pissed. I worried the whole time we we're pregnant w/Leslie. It was an eventful pregnancy and hard delivery but she is great and I am the luckiest person I know. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I like to think that my little baby is up in heaven watching out for my little Leslie. I hope all our little lost babies are there waiting to see us when we get there. [Group Hug]
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imogen
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((Beverley and Porter)))

My mum had a miscarrige before my little sister was conceived. She was 41 at the time, and I think it really scared her- she wanted another baby so badly, and the thought that her body may not be able to was frightening.

Luckily Kate was carried to term (and then some!) relatively easily and is now a beautiful, smart and kinda precocious 9 year old.

I can relate to your sense of failure Beverly. I have never doubted my body's ability to make children. Never tested it out mind you. [Wink]

But my Mum has never had problems falling pregnant, within about a day of trying. Apart from the one miscarriage she has had exceptionally easy pregnancies. Same for most of my female relatives - the fertility runs pretty rife. One of those "breathe on them and they'll get pregnant" families.

If when Tony and I do start trying to fall pregnant we have problems, I know I will feel disappointed in my body and myself. I also know this will be irrational.

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rivka
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beverly, the odd thing is that while I have compared miscarriage stories with friends before, I have never heard another quite as similar.

In my case, my doctor was very reassuring (after the second HCG test), and thought that everything was fine -- just about a week less along than would have been predicted.

I was the one who was still had a niggling feeling there was something wrong . . . and had just managed to shrug it off when it turned out to be correct.

In my case, there was the added issue that the miscarriage might have been caused by something I did (well, more allowed to be done). A week before the first pregnancy test, I was very sick with strep. I had no regular doctor (other than my OB) at the time, but we found the closest one (a DO) on the insurance list and I managed to get there.

She looked me over, and prescribed oral antibiotics. And, since I was so ill, she also gave me an injection of a strong antibiotic (I don't remember what it was called, although I did for a several years afterwords). She didn't ask if I could be pregnant (which you'd think would be the right follow-up to "are you nursing?" "My son just weaned a couple weeks ago"), and it didn't occur to me that I might be. (With my first it took almost a year to conceive, and my second a year after I stopped nursing.)

It didn't occur to me that there was a possible problem until a few days later, when the doctor called and wanted to put me a cholesterol-inhibitor. (Which wasn't warranted by my cholesterol level either, but that's another story.) I knew enough (and was recovered enough) to ask wouldn't that be a problem if I got pregnant again?

Dead silence on the line. Then, "Do you think you might be?"

"I could be, I guess. And I do plan to be again." The conversation ended quickly after that.

My OB said that the shot could have caused the miscarriage, or it could have been a blighted ovum. No way to know.

She also strongly recommended not getting pregnant for at least 1-2 cycles. She said she's seen too many women who get pregnant immediately miscarry again, because the uterus is not completely healed. You might want to consult with your doctor/midwife on this issue.

I still wonder about the baby that might have been. But my youngest was conceived two months later, so there's also the thought that I could not have had both that baby and the one I actually have.

I think I'll keep her. [Wink]

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beverly
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dawnmaria: Isn't he great? I feel lucky to have him. Sounds like your husband was trying to do what was best for you too, but his efforts ran contrary to what you actually needed. Not an easy situation.

My poor hubby, he has had a really bad headache for the last three days and I think it is a stress headache from worrying about me.

Porter [Kiss]

imogen: I have come to appreciate even more what a blessing being fertile really is. But you know what I appreciate almost as much and maybe even more? No accidents! While I have always gotten pregnant when I want to, I have never gotten pregnant when I didn't want to. Yet. [Wink]

rivka: That is an interesting thought, that if this baby had been, the one I may carry in a few months could not be.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with wondering about medication causing the miscarriage. With my mother, they were pretty sure the cause was her getting the mumps.

I wondered about a possible blighted ovum. Do you know if there is any particular type of miscarriage that has as its tell-tale sign low hCG levels? If anyone knows anything about that, I would like to know more.

Thanks for confirming about not getting pregnant right away. I asked the midwives about it today, and they mentioned both an increased chance of miscarriage and of infection. I will not be stupid and take that chance--as much as I might want to. [Frown] Looks like no 2005 baby for me.

[ March 24, 2005, 08:48 PM: Message edited by: beverly ]

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rivka
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I'm pretty sure that low hCG and then miscarriage is often indicative of a blighted ovum. At least, that's what my OB indicated at the time. [Dont Know] Oh, plus the fact that it was my only pregnancy with no morning sickness.

I have never been so happy to be sick as when I first got morning sickness when pregnant with kid #3!

Types of miscarriages.

[ March 24, 2005, 09:07 PM: Message edited by: rivka ]

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beverly
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That is a good link, rivka, thanks! I was wondering about the blighted ovum, because I had read stuff on the internet that appeared to contradict. Some said low hCG, some said higher than normal hCG. Or at least that is what I got from a quick skimming of the info. I guess the idea of a blighted ovum appeals to me because I don't feel like I actually lost a baby if there never really was an embryo.

Man--you know, I kept saying with this pregnancy that I was feeling "too good". Very little nausea if any. I knew I was pregnant because of the tell-tale feelings in my womb (like I'm about to menstrate but then I don't). People would ask me how I felt, and I would say, "Good! Maybe too good." In the back of my mind, the lack of morning sickness worried me too. Not that I get it bad, but it is noticable.

I too will be grateful to feel those twinges of nausea again. Funny how that works! It was like when I kept not being in "real labor" with my last baby (I was dialated to a 6 for two weeks!) When I would get contractions, I would cheer them on. "Come on! You can do better than that! Wimpy contraction! SQUEEEEZE!" When I was finally in labor for real, I was elated! Contractions never felt so GOOD!

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Shan
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Condolences and hugs, Bev - take care.
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rivka
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I don't see how a blighted ovum could cause higher-than-normal hCG. Almost as high, sure, since most of the hCG is produced by the placenta at first. But higher? [Dont Know]

The sites I googled mostly talked about seeing an empty sac or hCG levels dropping or failing to rise.

quote:
It was like when I kept not being in "real labor" with my last baby (I was dilated to a 6 for two weeks!) When I would get contractions, I would cheer them on. "Come on! You can do better than that! Wimpy contraction! SQUEEEEZE!" When I was finally in labor for real, I was elated! Contractions never felt so GOOD!
O_o

I've met you. I know you're not me! But this is getting a bit freaky. (Ok, it was only 3 cm in my case, not 6. But otherwise . . . )

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