But I'm not sure I understand the difference between a "cub" and a "twinky".
I hadn't heard the word "gay" used to designate only homosexual men until fairly recently -- I always heard of it as covering both genders. But I notice my teenagers, at the high school level - definately define "gay" as the guys and "lesbian" as the girls, not just "gay" to mean those of that persuasion of either sex.
So that concept is fairly new to me, at least.
And now all teenagers are using the term "gay" as just a euphenism (sp) of sorts. If you walk the halls of school, they are always saying "that's so gay" when talking about something they find annoying or whatever. That must be a fairly recent trend, as well.
posted
the "that's so gay" trend has been around for a long time. I think I heard that back in high school as well (~6-10 years ago)
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posted
"Cub" is a new one to me, but "bears" as Karl mentioned tend to be big, hairy men who tend to be more masculine than the average gay man.
A cub follows the same theme but isn't as large - kinda like a bear in training, hence the name.
As for twinky - think of the phrases "pretty boy" or "dandy" or "fop". With a homosexual twist. Often interchangeable with today's "meterosexual." Usually denoted with an extreme attentiveness to wardrobe and appearance.
(Gawd, we sound like the Nature channel, don't we?)
As with any slang, using the phrases to someone you don't know and doesn't know you can be construed as insulting - for example, only black men can use the n-word and not have it become an insult.
I do find it amusing that men have so many more sub-groupings than the women.
posted
Oh dear, I suppose I need further definition of terms - what's the difference between cross-dresser and transvestite? I know a cross-dresser is someone who wears clothing of the opposite sex (with no repect to sexual orientation), so how is that different than a transvestite?
As to the original question, I think of homosexual as the umbrella term, with gay referring to men and lesbian referring to women.
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That's funny, ludosti. I think of gay as the umbrella term, with lesbian referring to women and homosexual referring to men.
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posted
From what I gather, cross dresser can be a blanket term for someone who dresses in the clothing of the opposite gender. But there can be many reasons one cross dresses (style or fashion comes to mind). A transvestite dresses/acts in the style of the other gender and gets a sexual kick out of it (though could be any orientation).
there's actually a pretty interesting essay on answers.com which is google's new definition webpage target. (just figured out, that's mirrored from wikipedia)
posted
"Cub" can also mean the passive or submissive partner in a relationship. It's not uncommon in a group of bears to hear someone say "So-and-so is my cub" referring to their partner, regardless of the size of the person in question. Bears are usually hairy and often large, but not always. Thin or hairy men in those circles are sometimes referred to as "otters" but I'm not sure that term is in general use. I have heard it used on a couple of occasions.
Many bears are more likely to socialize in more traditionally masculine pursuits. (Sports events, camping, fishing, etc.) Though I've known some pretty nelly bears, too, so there's plenty of room in the category.
A twinky is pretty much the opposite of a cub in terms of hairiness or perceived masculinity. However, not all twinkies are stereotypically effeminate or nelly. They are generally perceived to be more concerned with their appearance. To many, "twinky" is a derogatory term and though they might be considered a twinky (or twink) by other gay men would never self-describe as one. Others wear the term proudly. Twinks are also generally on the young side, though not always.
I'm not sure there is a significant difference between a transvestite and a cross-dresser. A transvestite is someone who dresses in the clothing of the opposite sex for the sexual thrill of it. Both gay and straight men can be transvestites. Both are very different from a "drag queen" (though "drag queen" is sometimes used when people refer to male prostitutes who dress like women to make money from straight men. They can be found on certain streets in most major cities and should technically be referred to as "transvestite prostitutes.
Drag Queens, however, are men who dress like women for the theater aspect of it, even if they never go on stage. For them sex is rarely involved in the experience. I, myself, have "done drag" on a few occasions, and even have a cameo in the film Head of State in drag, (unfortunately that is the only reason to rent that film, in my opinion ). What fascinates me about drag is the illusion of hyper-femininity. There are also two sub-classes of drag, High Drag and Comic Drag. In High Drag, the object is to be as convincingly female as possible (think Rue Paul). For comic drag, that's much less important, (think Milton Berle and Harvey Coreman, though they - and Rue Paul for that matter - might prefer the term "female impersonator").
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posted
Farmgirl, I did not even know what it meant until much later, but I remember around 7th grade, the guys saying to each other, "You're so gay!" (about 1977)
I was kinda dumb about anything sexual.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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Yeah - when my kids currently say it - it definately isn't referring to anything sexual - like when I was in school. Back then, any reference to things being "gay" meant they were efeminate, etc - definately a sexual meaning.
But now they are saying it for everything -- like if something is silly or nerdy or stupid or whatever -- or just annoying. "That's so gay" just means they think it is different. No sexual meaning at all.
And I should stop here and maybe let Ivygirl explain it better because I'm sure I'm messing it up.
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Well, by some standards I'm a bear. Though I'm not particularly hairy, per se, (just my chest somewhat), I am fairly big (6'1", 265 lbs).
Chris might be considered a cub, (or maybe even an otter) at least physically. He's pretty thin and a bit shorter than I am. He looks very young for his age, but he's only 5 years younger than I am. Truthfully, though I don't really think in those terms, exactly, though Chris does often call me "his bear".
As for being the "dominant" one, I'd have to say that in my relationship with Chris we share dominance and submissiveness fairly equally in most aspects. If this doesn't answer your question, you'll have to re-phrase it or email me privately. Posts: 6394 | Registered: Dec 1999
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Hmmm... usually the first image in my mind that pops up with the word homosexual is male. But as someone already pointed out that really mean either gender.
quote:Well, by some standards I'm a bear. Though I'm not particularly hairy, per se, (just my chest somewhat), I am fairly big
Hehe... I used to be a twink. Very tall and skinny. But 20/30 pounds later I guess I'm... um.. normal? Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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Not to insult you further, but about the term "fag hag".... when I have heard it used it was usually used to describe a woman who dislikes other,straight men, and were not just hanging out with the agy men they knoew. There was always some implied or stated notion that she liked gay men in a sexual/relationship way.
I heard that term more from my gay friends than I did from straight ones, although both used it infrequently.
quote:As for twinky - think of the phrases "pretty boy" or "dandy" or "fop". With a homosexual twist. Often interchangeable with today's "meterosexual." Usually denoted with an extreme attentiveness to wardrobe and appearance.
I still haven't figured out what "metrosexual" is supposed to mean. From context here, it looks like it refers to a guy who cares about his appearance. But that can't be right--surely we had enough words for that already.
At any rate, this discussion gives a whole new meaning to CW McCall's "Convoy". "They even had a bear in the air. / I sez callin' all trucks, this here's the Duck / We about to go a-huntin' bear." Posts: 1814 | Registered: Jul 2004
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metrosexual (met.roh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. An urban male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle. —metrosexuality n. http://www.wordspy.com/words/metrosexual.asp
I have heard it also described as "a gay-acting straight guy." (can't remember where, though)
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
I was recently told that the word 'gay' is now the appropriate word for both male and female homosexuals. Anyone else know anything about this?
Johivin Ryson
Those who watch rarely speak up. Those who speak rarely hear all. But those who listen see all there is.
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Verily, when was the last time you heard anyone called a dandy? Metrosexual is this century's term.
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KarlEd, I just wanted to thank you for being so open in this thread and helping to educate those of us who don't have much knowledge in this area.
Where I work (at a bank) we actually have several gay people who work here, who are pretty open about it, and bring their partners with them to company dinners, etc. (both male couples and female couples). However, I don't work directly with enough of them to be close enough to be able to ask/learn much about them.
posted
That's cool about where you work. I've been lucky enough to work for a company that has a very strong pro-diversity culture. It even offers domestic partnership benefits.
I really don't mind discussing these things. The only way to dispell misconceptions is through dialog. Posts: 6394 | Registered: Dec 1999
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posted
With twinky being the name that the school bully Moe calls Calvin.
The meaning of twinky itself comes from two sources: spongy and soft-centered like the commercial cake; and twinkletoes when used to make reference to supple male dancers/skaters who are seen as less macho than eg football players. Has the same connotation to gays and straights -- easily amenable to suasion, minimally resistant to forcefulness -- without any particularly sexual implication.
Anybody else reminded of the "What to do when attacked by a bear" "public service message/ad" on Boys in the Hall ?
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). What fascinates me about drag is the illusion of hyper-femininity. There are also two sub-classes of drag, High Drag and Comic Drag. In High Drag, the object is to be as convincingly female as possible (think Rue Paul). For comic drag, that's much less important, (think Milton Berle and Harvey Coreman, though they - and Rue Paul for that matter - might prefer the term "female impersonator").
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