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Neither was Granny. She pulled out her shotgun and decided to kick some heinie. She turned to the rather scared looking SG-1 stars and Rogan Josh. "Wanna help?"
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SG-1 and Rogan Josh quickly agreed when they saw the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers show up on the set.
Energy pulses and bullets cut down the fiendishly evil characters until they were all razed to the ground. Red and green blood pooled and mixed among them.
"That wasn't bad."
"And way more fun than killing Goa'ould, wouldn't you say?" added Michael as he wiped his brow.
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Suddenly, his stomach explodes in a stringy mass of soft insides. The ants are now ravenous with so many growing food sources.
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Because of the nearby uranium source, a monstrous new life form emerged from the protein-rich soupy mass. It writhed, it shook, it assembled itself into one piece. It stood.
It looked around. And said, "I want my mommy."
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From the depths of the bowels of the leftover mass the ketchup bottle left behind, another life form emerged, this one, stronger, bigger, and much, much uglier.
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But it never posed a threat to civilization as we know it, since, being male, it refused to stop and ask directions to civilization as we know it.
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And, of course, Michael Shanks. Because Daniel Jackson never really dies. Or if he does, he comes back.
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