FacebookTwitter
Hatrack River Forum   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » My Mom has died (Page 2)

  This topic comprises 3 pages: 1  2  3   
Author Topic: My Mom has died
accio
Member
Member # 3040

 - posted      Profile for accio   Email accio         Edit/Delete Post 
I’m so sorry. (((hugs))
Posts: 333 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Papa Moose
Member
Member # 1992

 - posted      Profile for Papa Moose   Email Papa Moose         Edit/Delete Post 
I have no words -- I'm sorry for your loss sounds deficient to me, but at least it's true. (((Telp)))
Posts: 6213 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Diana Bailey
Member
Member # 8313

 - posted      Profile for Diana Bailey   Email Diana Bailey         Edit/Delete Post 
I am so deeply sorry you lost your mother. You are in our hearts and prayers. [Frown]
Posts: 42 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mothertree
Member
Member # 4999

 - posted      Profile for mothertree   Email mothertree         Edit/Delete Post 
(((Karl)))
Posts: 2010 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
katharina
Member
Member # 827

 - posted      Profile for katharina   Email katharina         Edit/Delete Post 
Telp, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CT
Member
Member # 8342

 - posted      Profile for CT           Edit/Delete Post 
I'm so sorry, Karl. I just sent you an email.

Stay safe and healthy as best you can while you grieve, okay? OSC had some excellent advice.

(Man, I wish I could be there myself to make you jasmine tea and fix stuff as best I could. [Frown] )

Posts: 831 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Belle
Member
Member # 2314

 - posted      Profile for Belle   Email Belle         Edit/Delete Post 
Telp, what OSC said was wonderful advice, and I agree that writing is a very, very good thing for you.

Not long ago I stumbled on some old writings I did soon after I lost my grandfather and it was very comforting, and helped me remember my love for him and the joy I felt around him.

I know that this was a very difficult experience, my heart goes out to you. I am deeply, deeply sorry for your loss. [Frown]

Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Glenn Arnold
Member
Member # 3192

 - posted      Profile for Glenn Arnold   Email Glenn Arnold         Edit/Delete Post 
Telp, I'm not good at these things, but I'd like to add my condolences.
Posts: 3735 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Shan
Member
Member # 4550

 - posted      Profile for Shan           Edit/Delete Post 
Telp - I am so sorry. Many hugs coming your way.
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jay
Member
Member # 5786

 - posted      Profile for Jay   Email Jay         Edit/Delete Post 
So sorry
Posts: 2845 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dragon
Member
Member # 3670

 - posted      Profile for Dragon   Email Dragon         Edit/Delete Post 
(((Telp)))
Posts: 3420 | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Farmgirl
Member
Member # 5567

 - posted      Profile for Farmgirl   Email Farmgirl         Edit/Delete Post 
*majorly big bear hugs for Telperion because I'm at a loss for words*

((((((Telperion))))))))

I don't remember much of anything people said to me the week my dad died. But I do remember the hugs and the reaching out.

So I wish I were there to do that for you in person right now.

Farmgirl

Posts: 9538 | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fiazko
Member
Member # 5812

 - posted      Profile for fiazko   Email fiazko         Edit/Delete Post 
(((Telp)))
Posts: 1090 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dagonee
Member
Member # 5818

 - posted      Profile for Dagonee           Edit/Delete Post 
((Telp))

I'm so sorry. [Frown]

Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ludosti
Member
Member # 1772

 - posted      Profile for ludosti   Email ludosti         Edit/Delete Post 
[Cry] I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad things between you guys was at a good place. I'll be thinking about you (and praying for you and your family - if you don't mind).
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Vána
Member
Member # 6593

 - posted      Profile for Vána   Email Vána         Edit/Delete Post 
Karl. I wish I could come sit with you. I'm so sorry that I can't - I so hope someone else is there to be with you. It sounds like there are people available to you, if you want the company. I hope that you and your brother, especially, can comfort each other.

I am so sorry.

Posts: 3214 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lime
Member
Member # 1707

 - posted      Profile for Lime   Email Lime         Edit/Delete Post 
Karl, you and your family will be in my prayers. I don't have any better advice than: take care of yourselves. You have my deepest and most sincere condolences.
Posts: 753 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rivka
Member
Member # 4859

 - posted      Profile for rivka   Email rivka         Edit/Delete Post 
[Cry] I am so very sorry, Karl. Know that we love you, 'k?

And I am glad that you got to have a last night with her that was happy and loving -- even if it had to be followed by such a hellish day.

(((((Telp)))))

Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kwea
Member
Member # 2199

 - posted      Profile for Kwea   Email Kwea         Edit/Delete Post 
Telp. I am very sorry for your loss, even though I agree with Papa...that phrase just can't come close to saying what I mean.

My dad and mom retire at the end of August, and they are both a little older than your mom was, so this really hits home for me.

JenniK and I will be thinking of you and your family.


Kwea

Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BannaOj
Member
Member # 3206

 - posted      Profile for BannaOj   Email BannaOj         Edit/Delete Post 
*speechless* I'm so sorry Telpy.

*hugs*

AJ

Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
skillery
Member
Member # 6209

 - posted      Profile for skillery   Email skillery         Edit/Delete Post 
I have never kissed my mom. I don't know how she would react.
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kwea
Member
Member # 2199

 - posted      Profile for Kwea   Email Kwea         Edit/Delete Post 
I remember talking to my parents late one night, as a pre-teen. They were telling me that I was close to the age where kids, particularly boys, would stop being affectionate to their parents..little things, like kissing them on the cheek where I went to bed and things like that.


I told them that I would never outgrow that, and they laughed at that.


I was right. We had a few years there where we didn't really get along...my fault, really...but even then I always made a point of going up to BOTH of them and kissing them on the cheek to say good night. Even when it felt a little odd, like when I came home at age 23 from basic training.


I am glad I never outgrew it, and still kiss them on the cheek when I go to visit them, and when I say goodnight. That was one promise that I kept, and it is at times like this, going through things like Telp is right now, that you really and truly are thankful for things like that. [Frown]

Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

 - posted      Profile for Bob_Scopatz   Email Bob_Scopatz         Edit/Delete Post 
I'm so sorry.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Earendil18
Member
Member # 3180

 - posted      Profile for Earendil18   Email Earendil18         Edit/Delete Post 
My thoughts and prayers go with you and your family. [Frown]
Posts: 1236 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jebus202
Member
Member # 2524

 - posted      Profile for jebus202   Email jebus202         Edit/Delete Post 
Telp, I'm sorry for what's happend to you and your family and I wish you strength for the hard times ahead.
Posts: 3564 | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kama
Member
Member # 3022

 - posted      Profile for Kama   Email Kama         Edit/Delete Post 
*hugs and hugs and hugs*
Posts: 5700 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Raia
Member
Member # 4700

 - posted      Profile for Raia   Email Raia         Edit/Delete Post 
Oh, Telp!!! [Frown]

I'm so sorry I didn't see this earlier, my internet hasn't been working, and I've had to mooch off of other people's computers while they haven't been around... *hugs tight* I'm so sorry to hear about this. Please let me know if there's anything I can do. I'm thinking of you. ((((((((((Telp)))))))))))

Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

 - posted      Profile for Telperion the Silver   Email Telperion the Silver         Edit/Delete Post 
Thank you everyone.
I'm so tired. I've only gotten about 6 hours of sleep the past two days.
Spent hours and hours at the funeral home setting up everything. We had an autopsy done. She died from a blood clot that came from the leg, went through the heart, and stopped up on the way to the lungs. Stopped all circulation.
The funeral service is tues and weds and the mass is on thursday at St. Frances Cabrini.
I'm going to try and sleep some more.

Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Boothby171
Member
Member # 807

 - posted      Profile for Boothby171   Email Boothby171         Edit/Delete Post 
(((((Telp)))))

We love you, man.

Posts: 1862 | Registered: Mar 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dkw
Member
Member # 3264

 - posted      Profile for dkw   Email dkw         Edit/Delete Post 
Karl, I'm so sorry.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MyrddinFyre
Member
Member # 2576

 - posted      Profile for MyrddinFyre           Edit/Delete Post 
Oh my goodness. I hope you can find sleep.
(((telp)))

Posts: 3636 | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tammy
Member
Member # 4119

 - posted      Profile for Tammy   Email Tammy         Edit/Delete Post 
[Frown] ((((Telp))))

I'm so sorry.

Posts: 3771 | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ailurophobic
Member
Member # 8343

 - posted      Profile for ailurophobic   Email ailurophobic         Edit/Delete Post 
I'm so sorry, honey, even if I don't know you at all. I know from experience it's hard to lose a parent, but you know you have all the love of everyone here. Take care of yourself.
Posts: 71 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ReikoDemosthenes
Member
Member # 6218

 - posted      Profile for ReikoDemosthenes   Email ReikoDemosthenes         Edit/Delete Post 
((((Telp))))

I'm so very sorry...

Posts: 1158 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ShadowPuppet
Member
Member # 8239

 - posted      Profile for ShadowPuppet   Email ShadowPuppet         Edit/Delete Post 
I add my voice to the choir of condolences...

I feel for you and your family
as a fellow human
who has experienced loss over and over again

peace be with you and yours

Posts: 83 | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
arevoj
Member
Member # 7347

 - posted      Profile for arevoj   Email arevoj         Edit/Delete Post 
i'm very sorry.
Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Wonder Dog
Member
Member # 5691

 - posted      Profile for Wonder Dog           Edit/Delete Post 
Oh Telp... I am so sorry for your loss.
If you'll accept a big crying hug from a guy, consider it given. I pray that you'll find some peace in all this pain.

Posts: 353 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ela
Member
Member # 1365

 - posted      Profile for Ela           Edit/Delete Post 
Telp, so sorry for your loss. [Frown]
Let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

And listen to Uncle Orson - what he said is very wise.

Posts: 5771 | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

 - posted      Profile for Telperion the Silver   Email Telperion the Silver         Edit/Delete Post 
Yes... many thanks to Uncle Orson for the very kind and insightful post.

I didn't get to sleep, the family from Chicago came over and we've been really busy today. People have been very kind... bringing over food and helping us clean. I however refuse to have any of Mom's stuff moved anywhere. If it's in a clutter, clean and pile it up nice, but I don't want it moved from room to room and especially nothing leaving the house. I need to touch everything before I can let anything leave.
I had a bit of a breakdown today... thank god I was alone. While she has been working and all that, I've been helping to take care of her these past few years. She was very overwieght, had blood clots, diabetes, and had torn away the ACL ligament in her knee. Surgery fixed that but as a result had no cartalige in her knee. So I would be her legs, running up and down the house to do stuff and shop and do housework. Never enough of course since I'm a lazy SOB, but I did try and was learning. So being around her so much and being involved with so much of her day to day things...well.. just makes me feel more connected or somthing. Especially now that it seems like the whole house and everything in is a shrine to her. I just want to wrap all her belongings around me. I was going through her jewlery with my Aunt Jenny... her jewlery was so important to her... some people drink or smoke, she bought baubles and jewlry. SO many pieces of costume jewlry and other real expensive stuff. Even though it feels like a sin to be digging around her stuff I picked out a couple pieces that I want. And I just want her to tell me what to do. What do you want Mom????????? Please please please please tell me.

Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Elizabeth
Member
Member # 5218

 - posted      Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth         Edit/Delete Post 
What your mom wants, Telp, is for you to attain peace. So do what you need to do to get there. If that means keeping things intact for a while, leave them intact.

Who is there to help you with all the big decisions? Do you have siblings?

Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

 - posted      Profile for Telperion the Silver   Email Telperion the Silver         Edit/Delete Post 
Do you want milk? Do you want me to shop? Do you want me to rub your feet? Do you want me to run down and do the laundry? Do you want to talk about politics? Do you want to lecture me on what I need to do for myself and success? Do you want to get me to be religious again? Do you want a tissue? Do you want to show me a song? Do you want to watch a movie? Are you grumpy and want to yell? Please yell at me. Please tell me what you want me to do.

Who am I supposed to talk to and ask the important questions?

Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

 - posted      Profile for Telperion the Silver   Email Telperion the Silver         Edit/Delete Post 
Yes... I have a younger brother, Matthew.
And my family from Chicago is up. Not here currently, at the hotel, but my friend Neal is here sleeping.

My Aunt Jenny is a lawyer in Chicago so she is helping with the paperwork.

The ironic thing is that Dad, even after the divorce, might still be the exectutor of the will. She was in the process of cutting him out and putting Matt and I as the benefitiaries(sp?), but I don't think she finished. In any case, Dad is Dad and we are his blood and I don't expect him to any less than giving everything to us. And I think Aunt Jenny is the executor after Dad anyway.

We are supposed to talk to the lawyer in 7 hours... Can't sleep.

Oh, and the funeral director is really really cool. They are doing so much. Well.. for $11,000 I would hope so. But from what my family tells me they really are very caring.

Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kwea
Member
Member # 2199

 - posted      Profile for Kwea   Email Kwea         Edit/Delete Post 
I am glad that you have someone to help you IRL...at least as much as anything helps at this point.

I really like the idea of writing everything down in a journal while you remember it fresh, but that might be better as a project once you begin to heal a bit, in a few months. It will still hurt, of course, but the wounds won't be as fresh either.

Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
skillery
Member
Member # 6209

 - posted      Profile for skillery   Email skillery         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
I just want her to tell me what to do.
The old neighbor man died two weeks ago. My wife and I are close to his daughter and her husband. The old man had a special request, and he paid me a visit the day after he died. It took me by surprise. I didn't have anything else on my mind at the time, and his message came through crystal clear.

You're probably too busy with too many thoughts right now for your mom to get through. Get some sleep, lay off the booze, caffeine, and cigs; fast and pray, and she'll get through if she has any hugs or messages for you.

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
imogen
Member
Member # 5485

 - posted      Profile for imogen   Email imogen         Edit/Delete Post 
Don't fast. Not a good idea right now.

((((Telp))))

Do let us know if there is *anything* we can do.

Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
punwit
Member
Member # 6388

 - posted      Profile for punwit   Email punwit         Edit/Delete Post 
I'm so sorry, Telp. I wish I had some original words of condolence that would magically heal your grief, but I know that's not possible.

(((Telp)))

Posts: 2022 | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stray
Member
Member # 4056

 - posted      Profile for Stray   Email Stray         Edit/Delete Post 
I'm so sorry for your loss, Telp. *big hugs*
Posts: 957 | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
unicornwhisperer
Member
Member # 294

 - posted      Profile for unicornwhisperer   Email unicornwhisperer         Edit/Delete Post 
[Cry]

((Telp))

I recently read a journal entry I made just a short time (3 yrs) ago and I had completely forgotten about it. It is important to write in your journal, especially about people who are precious to you.

Posts: 1417 | Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
IanO
Member
Member # 186

 - posted      Profile for IanO   Email IanO         Edit/Delete Post 
I'm so sorry, Telperion. Truly I am. I hope that you will be ok.

You're a good guy.

Posts: 1346 | Registered: Jun 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sopwith
Member
Member # 4640

 - posted      Profile for Sopwith   Email Sopwith         Edit/Delete Post 
(((Telp)))

Have a good meal, and take some time for rest and reflection. We love ya, pal.

Posts: 2848 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
  This topic comprises 3 pages: 1  2  3   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2