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Author Topic: Beards and Respect
Chungwa
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Hello.

So, I've been having an argument with my entire family over the matter of a beard.

I'm a 21 year old male and I have a light beard. This is due to the fact that I find shaving to be too time consuming to be an every day (or even every week) thing. I keep my beard tidy - but its still there.

My entire family keep telling me that nobody will respect me if I have a beard. Obviously I don't agree or I would have taken up shaving as a daily activity. My sister is convinced that once I go back to school in the Fall my professors (who, most of them, I have known for three years) will suddenly stop taking me seriously. Now, I'm pretty sure that I could come to class with ketchup and mustard stains all over my clothes and my professors probably wouldn't care.

So. My question is, does a *young* (I think that's what my family is stuck on) male get, noticeably, less respect from people if he has a beard?

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jebus202
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Yes, absolutely.
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WheatPuppet
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No, I don't think so. As long as it's obviously well-tended and obviously isn't a byproduct of apathy towards one's appearance.
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mr_porteiro_head
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Which it seems to be here. Can't be bothered to shave once a week? Can you be bothered to bathe or to brush your teeth?
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ketchupqueen
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It depends on whether you look good in a beard or not. If you look like you ought to be hanging out with Scooby Doo, then, yeah, you're going to get less respect. If you carry a beard off like Frisco, then no, you will just have women objectifying you all the time. [Big Grin]
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Corwin
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quote:
My question is, does a *young* (I think that's what my family is stuck on) male get, noticeably, less respect from people if he has a beard?
Might be, but then again, who would need the respect of people who would base it on something like that?!?

I really don't see an equivalence between shaving and bathing. If it's my appearance that bothers you, then that's your problem.

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Gryphonesse
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as long as it's NEAT and TRIMMED, and not one of those fuzzy soul-patch disasters, then I say keep it. (I see those fuzzy-wuzzy chin wigs on guys and I just want to yank them off- ugh!!) I've always preferred a little facial hair on a guy. My hubby has a goatee b/c I like it. He also keeps it nice and well trimmed, as he does with his hair. He's a former Marine, so he's hygenic anyway. I have heard the beard/respect thing once or twice before, and I think it's pure balderdash. It's YOUR face. Do what you want.
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Katarain
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Beard=bad.
Goatee=good.
[Smile]

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Dan_raven
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Correction

Beard=bad.
Goatee=Evil spawn of the underworld.

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zgator
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[Evil Laugh]
Thanks Dan. I needed that.

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jebus202
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Unless you're a tough guy stay away from goatees.

[ July 11, 2005, 03:28 PM: Message edited by: Papa Janitor ]

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El JT de Spang
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I, too, find shaving to be a tedious and ultimately unfulfilling chore.

I, too, am currently sporting what could accurately be termed a "homeless beard".

I don't think my facial hair has any reflection on the respect that I get.

It's trimmed, and I look all right with it, I think.

Much better than my awkward 13 year-old-boy mustache. And it's a face beard, meaning from the jawline up. Under my jaw itches if I don't shave it.

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skillery
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If you're fat and balding and wear knee-shorts with pocket tees, the beard or goat goes with the package.
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Icec0o1
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Dang, and I thought I was extremely lazy...like living in a mess for a few days at a time before I clean up my room. I think you guys got me beat here though.

I think you should stop whining, shave every morning like most men do and appreciate the little extra attention women give you.

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Icec0o1
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"Might be, but then again, who would need the respect of people who would base it on something like that?!?"

A beard sends a clear and loud message that you're too lazy to shave. I think that's a good enough base for people to judge you on. Is it incorrect to read from your beard that you are too lazy?

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Corwin
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quote:
A beard sends a clear and loud message that you're too lazy to shave.
Exactly! Too lazy to shave! Not too lazy to do your homework, not too lazy to clean your room, not too lazy to <insert anything you like here>. So what if I'm too lazy to shave? Why should I shave more often? Cause you like it? Well, like someone else then, thakyouverymuch!

Edit: What if I usually shave in the evening but I'm quite busy and I'm too tired to shave every. single. freakin. day?

Edit 2: And he's not whining. He thinks it's alright, his parents think it's not, not every time a child disagrees with his parents does it mean he's whining.

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Alcon
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quote:

A beard sends a clear and loud message that you're too lazy to shave. I think that's a good enough base for people to judge you on. Is it incorrect to read from your beard that you are too lazy?

Good heavens what is wrong with you people?

Please tell me you're being sarcastic or joking.

I sport a beard most of the time. I hate shaving, and it has nothing to do with being lazy. I hate the feel of a shaved face. And when it starts to grow back in it feels like I've got about a thousand splinters in my neck and chin. I hate it. That said I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lazy guy, and not the most hygenic of folk. But wearing a beard has nothing to do with that. That's just a matter of preference both for the look with a beard and the feel.

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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
What if I usually shave in the evening but I'm quite busy and I'm too tired to shave every. single. freakin. day?
Then we have something else in common.

I shave about three times a week, because it irritates my skin to shave every day.

And yet I still think that being too lazy to shave is pretty darn lazy indeed.

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Jay
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I’ve done both the beard and goatee thing. For me it more of the I felt like I had a bit of a baby face and wanted to look older. I never felt I was taken any more or less seriously. Plus I would agree, the time thing is nice.
How serious do professors have to take you anyway? They teach, you take tests. I think most are going to be mature enough to look past facial hair and listen to what you say or write. Especially when you see so many hippy grunge or otherwise socially challenged people doing well in college.
Anyway…. Don’t let your family get to you. Do what you want and feel comfortable with. Listen politely to them and you can even say you’ll think about it. But do what you want. I mean come on, it’s facial hair! As long as you like it, who cares!

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TheHumanTarget
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I alternate between clean-shaven and a goatee, and find that I'm actually taken more seriously when I have the goatee then when I don't.
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Corwin
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I still don't get it. Why does it mean "pretty darn lazy"? What do I gain from shaving that I have to be so careful to do it every day? I'd really like to hear some arguments, 'cause until now all I've seen is "it means you're lazy and that's that". [Dont Know]

Edit: :strokes hairy face: [Razz]

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mr_porteiro_head
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The wife keeps bugging me to grow a beard again, but I just can't stand the itchy face enough to do it for her.
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Corwin
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My brother and I tried to convinge our mother to let father grow a beard. No luck...
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TheHumanTarget
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Corwin,
Apparently, not bending to someone else's view of how you should portray yourself to the world is indicative of a deep-seated self-esteem issue that manifests itself in your passive-agressive laziness..

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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
What do I gain from shaving that I have to be so careful to do it every day?
I never said that. In fact, I said that I don't even shave every other day.

But not being willing to take the time to shave even once a week -- that sounds pretty darn lazy to me.

I never said that most people that have beards do so because of laziness. I just said that Chungwa sounds like laziness is his motivation for growing a beard.

quote:
I'm a 21 year old male and I have a light beard. This is due to the fact that I find shaving to be too time consuming to be an every day (or even every week) thing.

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zgator
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quote:
A beard sends a clear and loud message that you're too lazy to shave.
Or it could send the message that you look better with a beard than without one. My wife thinks so.
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zgator
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quote:
I shave about three times a week, because it irritates my skin to shave every day.

Porter, how fast does your facial hair grow? If I decide to shave my face completely, it has to be done every day or I might as well not bother.
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mr_porteiro_head
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Let's see. I shaved yesterday morning, but not today. I'll try to get a photo.
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Don Domande
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As someone who has worn a beard of some sort for the past 7 years or more, I can say that I think it takes *more* work to keep a well-tended beard than stay clean-shaven. Of course, the key word is "well-tended".

Of course, I took the worst of both worlds - goatee and shaven skull. *sigh*

I will say, however, that a scruffy beard *does* give the impression of laziness.

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Puppy
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Since when did willingness to shave become an official sign of whether or not you're lazy?

I mean, I don't put contacts in every day. You know why? Because I don't own contacts. I've never owned them, and I don't want to own them. I wear glasses instead, and I think I look good in them. Some people put contacts in every day, but I don't, and not doing so doesn't make me lazy. It's just a value-neutral decision I made about my appearance.

Similarly, I think I look much better in a beard. I like wearing one, and I don't think that my failure to remove a natural feature of my face that I happen to LIKE constitutes laziness.

Are women who grow their fingernails long just too lazy to clip them? Or do they simply LIKE having long fingernails?

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ketchupqueen
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My husband shaves in the morning and by 3 or 4 in the afternoon has stubble.

The shaving three times a week thing would not work for him.

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steven
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Beards and mustaches used to be worn by US military personnel as a rule (Ulysses S. Grant, anyone?), but when gas masks became a necessary part of a soldier's gear in World War I, they had to start shaving. At least, this is what I heard from my buddy who went to West Point.
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Icec0o1
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Okay, I guess what I said doesn't apply to everyone. I think mr_porteiro_head said it a lot better,

"But not being willing to take the time to shave even once a week -- that sounds pretty darn lazy to me." - that being specific for Chungwa's situation.

My original argument is that the majority of women like a clean shave more then a beard. And a goatee is different then a beard...a goatee shows that you actually care more for your appearence then just shaving.

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Katarain
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quote:
Are women who grow their fingernails long just too lazy to clip them? Or do they simply LIKE having long fingernails?
No way. Having long fingernails, especially painted and manicured takes a lot of time and upkeep. Clipping your nails to avoid all that is lazy. I know, because I'm lazy and have short nails. (Actually, the major reason is because my nails get brittle when they get long, and I don't really understand how to GET those nice long nails without getting fake ones.)

-Katarain

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Farmgirl
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Personally, I love facial hair on men. Wouldn't make me respect them less.

But we'd need a photo, Chungwa, to see exactly how it looks on you and how you're keeping it, before we could really have an opinion.

[Smile]

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Puppy
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So what do women think of Sawyer on LOST? [Smile] They must TOTALLY hate that guy ...
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zgator
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quote:
a goatee shows that you actually care more for your appearence then just shaving.
I knew it! Porter just doesn't care what he looks like. Otherwise, he'd have a goatee.
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Puppy
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Kat, taking care of a beard is no small feat, either. It's not like it just shows up looking perfect. Chungwa has been very clear that he has a neatly-trimmed, well-kept beard. That's no easier to maintain than long fingernails, and certainly takes more care than shaving.

I mean, shaving takes no creativity or attention whatsoever. If you see hair, you destroy it. That's it. Beards take MUCH more attention.

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El JT de Spang
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Yeah, I agree with Corwin and others.

Not shaving doesn't make you lazy. I should clarify my earlier post. Not only do I not like shaving, but I happen to like the look of stubble and neat beard. Also, goatee (not that that's a sentence).

Laziness has almost nothing to do with it. I could never live in a mess for days (like ice above). But I can easily go 2 weeks without fully shaving (I use an electric trimmer for maintenance, and straight razor for actual shaving).

It's personal preference, and as long as your beard isn't ZZ Top style or full of fried chicken crumbs, there's absolutely no reason why any man can't sport one at any time.

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Icec0o1
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Porter or I never said that goatees are for everyone...if it looked good on me, I'd take the time every day to take care of it.
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El JT de Spang
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Puppy, I love the image of seek and destroy on all facial hair. Clear cutting is deadly to the environment.
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mr_porteiro_head
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Here you go. It's pretty big, but it shows you how slowly my facial hair grows.

Maybe that's why I don't like growing a beard -- the awkward inbetween stage lasts too long.

http://home.comcast.net/~cporter42/stubble.jpg

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Katarain
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I was only commenting about the nails. I know it takes a lot of work to keep nice, long nails. Wasn't trying to say it was any more or less hard than keeping a beard or a goatee.

-Katarain

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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
t's personal preference, and as long as your beard isn't ZZ Top style or full of fried chicken crumbs, there's absolutely no reason why any man can't sport one at any time.
My father was never able to wear one. He worked in a refinery, and had to be able to wear a gas mask in the case of an emergency.
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El JT de Spang
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Right, except for the gas mask reason.

I forgot about that.

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Lyrhawn
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I'm a 21 year old guy and I have a goatee. Well, it's a goatee when you just have the hair around the chin and it connects to the mustache right?

I keep it neatly trimmed, so it doesn't look bad. All of my friends tell me never to shave it off, they think I look weird without it. But it seems to be a woman repellant. That or the fact that I'm not attractive to begin with, but most girls I talk to don't like the beard. Unfortunetely, I have a big nose, and without the beard it looks even more gargantuan.

I was actually told by one girl that by wearing a beard, it meant that I'm old and don't want to have sex anymore.

Shows how little that girl knows about men in general.

I don't however think it matters at all about respect. Getting a date, that's another matter. Respect is all about what you do.

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El JT de Spang
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Several of my, ahem, buddies keep goatees because it detracts attention away from their double chins.
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Goody Scrivener
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Chungwa needs to submit before and after pictures so that the Ladies of Hatrack can vote on the beard... =)
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Frisco
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I find that having a beard gets me more respect. And I sport it for a few reasons, chief among them laziness.

Apparently, it also makes married Mormon women gush over me. I say keep it.

Besides, laziness in appearance, especially when there's such a good alternative attainable by not shaving, doesn't necessarily translate to laziness inother areas. I, for example, am a workaholic. And a playaholic.

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beverly
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I think well-trimmed beards look classy. When they aren't well trimmed, they look sloppy. If the guy is especially good looking, he can pull of just about anything, just as an especially good looking girl can pull off just about anything.
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