So, I sat pondering this morning / afternoon and I realized that I first started lurking / sporadically posting on Hatrack 6 YEARS ago . I also realized that in all that time I had never written a ‘newby’ post or an introduction or hello statement. Putting these two bits of information together and realizing that my mother is indeed right when she says ‘better late than never’ I thought I would write such introduction now!
Firstly to account for the six years, although I have been lurking occasionally throughout: Year one : University … lots of time for lurking and free internet access Year two : University … dissertation therefore little time Year three : Temping in London … no time, no money, no internet access Year four : After 9 months of applications get serious job with multinational (very exciting) … no time Year five : Multinational moves me to Holland … no time Year six : Settled in Holland … get broadband and have time to revisit Hatrack out of work hours
The question I ask myself is why do I visit Hatrack? I’m not a big poster, and so although I know many of you quite well from your posts I expect that few of you know me. But still I come back, sometimes frequently, sometime sporadically. Sometime I get severely annoyed , other times I leave with a grin on my face .
What I get from Hatrack that I can’t get anywhere else is commentary from intelligent and articulate every day people. So no matter the subject, politics, philosophy, religion, Harry potter, movies, books … I know that comment isn’t subtle advertising or biased but just someone’s opinion. I frequently visit Hatrack in order to pick up an alternative view on some international news item. Or to find out if I should bother to go and see Willy Wonka?
One trend I have noticed over the last 6 years is that the number of philosophical / religion / political threads have decreased. Or maybe I just don’t read them any more. I remember when I first came that I thought they were the most interesting … but they always descended into an unwinnable fight based on opinion with each side calling the other one of the following stupid / naive / illogical / unrealistic / wrong etc. (I’m sure you can each add your own!) I think we all found this painful to watch. How could a group of educated, kind articulate people resort to essentially verbal violence in the course of a discussion about ideological difference? What hope is there for the world if we can’t even discuss issues peacefully? If ever I left Hatrack for a time it would be because of a particular viscous attack (usually not on me) in one of these threads.
Like many of you, I was first drawn to Hatrack through reading the works of OSC. I think I have read and own nearly all his books. They take up two shelves of my book case. When I first came I didn’t know OSC was a LDS or even what LDS stood for. But reading his books I knew that this man had a philosophical outlook on life that was identical to mine only he could put it into words. Now, here was the strange thing, despite that fact that I love his philosophical / moral views in his works of fiction when I read his political essays I am hugely disappointed, because here we disagree completely. This revelation to me was utterly surprising, that it would be possible to share a philosophical standpoint but that this would not translate into political agreement.
So, to go back to why I love Hatrack.
I’ve been recommended here many great books. The Paradox of Choice was fantastic as was Guns Germs and Steel.
I’ve learnt about Mormonism … and find it to be a very beautiful religion. Since learning what I have about the religion I have found myself having to defend it many times. Somehow it still has very bad press in the bid wide world. Mostly I’m told you all have multiple wives. Which I know is not the case. And so far I haven’t found out where this mistaken impression comes from and so not been able to refute it to my satisfaction. Enlightenment welcome.
But to date I have given very little back. So … here are my recommendations / passions.
MBTI – Myers Briggs Temperament Indicator
This is a fascinating temperament (not character or personality or intelligence) profiling system. Fundamentally it is about understanding how different people are different and have very different wants / needs / drivers. Understanding these differences consciously has helped me appreciate my friends, family, colleagues so much more for their similarities and differences and in doing so has improved my family life, my relationships and how I work with my colleagues. For example … I yearn for achievement I work and play hard and berate myself if I fail whereas others yearn for Romance, Belonging or Impact.
If you want to know more go here http://www.keirsey.com/. And if you would share with me your temperament I would be very very interested!
Non-Violent Communication
I’ve just read this book and I recommend it very highly. Fundamentally it is a way of interaction that facilitates the flow of communication needed to exchange information and resolve differences peacefully by communicating our own needs and values without attacking others.
We will all recognize this scenario between parent and teenager:
Parent : Why are you home so late.? Don’t you realize you made me sick with worry how can you be so disrespectful.?
Teenager : (Feeling frightened and threatened) I’m only 20 minutes late! Don’t you trust me? Can’t you ever think about my feelings?
The book would point out that the parent in this instance has spoken in such a way as to pass the responsibility of their feelings on the Teenager and has violently attacked the Teenager by labeling them disrespectful. The result being that the teenager is on the defensive and unlikely to respond positively and unlikely to learn the lesson as lessons learnt through guilt and fear are usually ineffective.
The book would recommend the following 4 steps. 1. Make an observation 2. State your feelings 3. State your needs 4. Make a request
Parent. You are 20 minutes late. I was very worried and anxious and scared because I need to know that you are safe and can keep your word. In future, when you know you are going to be late, would you be willing to call me to let me know.
See the difference?
One of the revelations from reading this book is how violent my communication style can be at times and how violently my family communicates. Reading this book made me very sad but also gave me hope. I’ve recommended it to my mother and I hope that with some time a practice we will communicate better and most importantly be able to communicate better with my brother who is currently a very lost soul.
Horse Riding
Lastly, I want to share with you my summer holiday plans (so that I don’t look like a complete book worm). I’m going to ride across the Jordanian desert from Petra to Aqaba! I’m very excited about this and have been having horse riding lessons since the start of the year in order to get into training. If you have any good book recommendations on Jordan or knowledge of great places to visit then please let me know.
posted
This is a fantastic introduction, and it really makes me wish Hatrack was a real cafe somewhere where we could all sit down and chat a bit. Of course, we can "speak" here, but it does lack something.
But riding across the Jordanian desert? Fascinating! What spurred the idea?
(And I, too like and recommend Myers-Briggs and nonviolent communication resources. Smart stuff.)
quote:I’m going to ride across the Jordanian desert from Petra to Aqaba!
I've been to Petra, by car. It was fantastic! Have a great time. I met several Bedouin traders and quite a few Jordanians. The people were SOoooo friendly. It's a very poor country, and yet they give of what they have freely.
Enjoy.
Be safe.
And thanks for the introduction.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Nice to meet you, firebird. Sounds like an interesting life you've got going on. What is it that you do in Holland?
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Welcome, firebird! It's really good to see you here!!
I almost went to Petra last spring, but then my dad and sister went to Egypt, and I ended up flying to the US instead. We were so close, it was ridiculous, we were all in Israel!
Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
hey firebird, I really like personality stuff like that too. I took the free test and mine is Guardian. I've taken the Myers-briggs test before too, but I forget what I got.
Posts: 2867 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Thank you for your warm welcome! (Phew … it’s like having a party and worrying that no one will show up! )
I've just come back form my Sunday morning horse jumping lesson. Very exciting this morning as we had larger and more complex jumps. When you get it wrong it feels so ungainly, but when you get it right ... you feel like your flying! A great sensation.
It would be great if there were a Hatrack cafe wouldn't it? Or maybe a number across the world with video screens linking them! It would be so cool to sit down round a table and have a good old chinwag with a cup of tea, or chocolate or some such!
The return to riding started when my mum was complaining that her legs weren't strong enough and I suggested that she started to ride. Following this she crossed Rajastan desert and had a fantastic time. You really get to see and different view of the country from the typical tourist.
This enthused me to take up riding again and it is very good value for money in Holland plus here I get to ride along the beach which is so romantic! As I have a desk job and little time for exercise it's always important that I am active on holiday but summer holidays are always difficult as I dislike the sun but crossing Jordan (in October) sounded like the ideal type of thing to do! I'll certainly post pictures on my return. My one worry is that my camera battery will die on the first day ... No useful sockets for recharging batteries on horses unfortunately!
Bob ... thanks for your words on Bedouins and Jordanians. We should have a Bedouin guide and be sleeping in Bedouin tents so on my return I should have lots of tales of the Bedouin way of life.
Noemon - I'm in Holland due to my work. I'm an economist by training. But I just found out 2 weeks ago that my next assignment will be in London. So, at the moment, I'm in London during the week and Holland at the weekend. (It's not a good life).
Holland does indeed have the best herring. I think you know you are a local when you have herring for breakfast. I enjoy it in small amounts but sometimes it can just be a bit too .... fishy! The Dutch are a really interesting people. Very Calvinist. The outside world always seems to have the impressing that they are very liberal, legal drugs, legal prostitution, etc. However, the reality is quite the contrary. The Dutch ethos is such that you should be free to do all these things but you should choose not to of your own volition. Their commitment to free will is so strong that they belive that if these vices were illegal … how would you know whether you had moral fiber or were just compliant? I quite like it.
Kojabu … A Guardian. That test and the Myers Briggs one are identical, but they use different words to describe the output. In Myers Briggs terms that is an SJ. Glad to hear I’m not the only enthusiast! Guardians are the pillar of society and make excellent teachers, church leaders etc so we are very lucky to have you here.
CT glad to see you are still here … I hadn’t seen you name in a while. How did you get into NVC?
Posts: 571 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged |
quote:CT glad to see you are still here … I hadn’t seen you name in a while. How did you get into NVC?
I read a lot of resources on communication and psychology while trying to figure out how to interact more effectively with people. I was pretty sheltered growing up, and the environment in which I was raised was not just sheltered, but pretty controlled. (Mom was worried about my brother and me becoming too worldly.)
This made for an interesting and mostly happy childhood, although the skills I gained there didn't transfer so well to the Big World. *grin Like all introverted bookwyrms, I dealt with problems by reading up on them. NVC really clicked. I think I was lead there by some text on "how to argue well" for couples.
[I've been off dealing with other things for a little while. But I'm so glad you're able to be more present for a bit, too, firebird! This is swell. ]
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Glad to be around a bit more and looking foward to getting to know you better CT. One day I will open that Hatrack Cafe. Where do you live to be posting this early?
I was lead to NVC similarly through noticing that I lacked a skill that others had clearly learned. It got to be a problem with managing some agressive colleagues.
My friends always laugh because whatever the subject or dilema I always have at least one answers which start 'There is this one book ...'
Bookwyrms of the work unite!
Posts: 571 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I live in Madison, Wisconsin, but I've always been an earlybird. I'm trying to set a regular routine of getting up by 5:30 (I'm awake by then, anyway), doing some morning stretches and grabbing a quick light bite, then biking in to a cafe near work by about 7am. They have free wireless, so as long as I can hold off on opening up the computer before I leave the apartment, I can get a head start on the day.
I love getting work done early. It's cheap virtue, and I can gnaw on that for a long time. *grin
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
Unlike you, I actually am pretty much a newby here - I'm more of a lurker than a poster by nature too.
Your trip to Jordan sounds like it'll be fascinating! I'd love to do something like that someday - the closest I've gotten so far was trail-riding in Wales last year. I took riding lessons for 4 years a long time ago, but I had to stop when I got too busy with school. Jumping was my favorite, too, but it sounds like you're quite a bit more advanced than I ever was! I've been hoping to start again, but so far it's just been too expensive, especially since I'm living on a grad student's non-budget right now. There's a stable near me that specializes in handicapped riders - they need volunteers to help care for the horses, so I've been thinking about doing that if I have enough free time from school.
I love personality tests - my overly analytical self is fascinated by them. I hadn't taken the Keirsey one before. It classified me as an Idealist, which sounds accurate but doesn't quite correspond to my Myer-Briggs scores. With that I'm an INTP, but I've gotten INFP once, so I must be fairly close to the border. I wish the Keirsey test had "both" and "neither" as options because I thought I was split evenly on some of the questions. Perhaps I'll take it again later and see if my results change.
And yes, please share pictures and stories from your trip!! When will you be going?
Posts: 952 | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
Nell - Idealist is Keirsey for the Myers Briggs NF ... so fits with your INFP score. If you agree more with the INTP then Keirsey would call you a Rational. If you score close between them you get to choose.
INFP = Ghandi INTP = Einstein
So your in good company regardless.
(One heads up, ENTPs and INTP *LOVE* personality tests beyond all the other temperament types!)
I often find the prayers the most enlightening for which is most like you. Sometimes we recognise our weaknesses more than our strengths.
INFP - Lord, help me to finish everything that I star.... INTP - Lord help me to be less independent, but let me do it in my own way.
Being a very very very strong J, I used to find P's frustrating. What do you mean you can't plan? You said you'd call, why didn't you call?
But!
I then discovered what P's do that I can't. They can find the party and be spontaneous and go with the flow. I don't know what I'd do without my P friends these days.
Jordan will be happening in the first two weeks of October. I'll try to keep a diary ... but no promises. Pictures I can do though!
Posts: 571 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by firebird: Being a very very very strong J, I used to find P's frustrating. What do you mean you can't plan? You said you'd call, why didn't you call?
This intrigues me...I actually like planning things - I just don't like to set them in stone so my other options are still viable.
I've taken the Meyer-Briggs test at least 4-5 times, and FP only came up once, so I'm reasonably certain that I'm an INTP. But then I'm a horrible procrastinator, so your prayer example makes me wonder if it might be time to take that test again too...hmm...
posted
Haha, that's a good question. I've still got two more years of college left so I've got some time. My mom thinks I'd be a good librarian because I'm really detail oriented and incredibly organized.
I'm also a very strong J, always planning stuff and getting frustrated when things go awry. I think I've been sliding more into the P zone though, as time goes by.
Posts: 2867 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
. I also realized that in all that time I had never written a ‘newby’ post or an introduction or hello statement. Putting these two bits of information together and realizing that my mother is indeed right when she says ‘better late than never’ I thought I would write such introduction now!![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
, other times I leave with a grin on my face ![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
