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Author Topic: OSC reviews....Toilet Paper?
Narnia
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http://www.hatrack.com/osc/reviews/everything/2005-08-07.shtml

And Wedding Crashers too, but who cares about that?

quote:
When I lived in Brazil in the early 1970s, the only kind of toilet paper readily available was a kind of ecru-colored crepe paper. It was narrow and the perforations were decorative -- it tore where it felt like tearing.

It was also quite stretchy and rough-textured. The result was that while it was strong -- your fingers rarely punched through it -- it was also abrasive. This was fine when you made only a few passes. But American visitors were prone to mild indigestion that could lead to rather frequent use of toilet paper. By the second day of this, the toilet paper could feel -- and function -- like sandpaper. By the third day, just looking at the paper could make you cry.


It's still that way. [Big Grin]
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Tante Shvester
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Perhaps Mr. Card should try the baby wipes. Very gentle. A joy to the, uh, the, um, the places where you would ordinarily use toilet paper.
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MyrddinFyre
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Oof, I remember being very sick on vacation once with a nose like a faucet, and all I had on hand was some paper towels made out of that stuff. Owwww.
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sarcasticmuppet
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quote:
There could be a big black widow spider sitting right on the toilet paper roll and you wouldn't know it till you bring it back toward you in a wad of paper, because you can't twist around far enough to see the paper before you grab at it.


That's not funny! I have enough trouble with the twenty or thirty grandaddy longlegs and wolf spiders that live in my house without having nightmares about black widows in the bathroom... [Angst]
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TomDavidson
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It occurs to me that he has reviewed this toilet paper precisely because someone on the other side jokingly observed that he reviewed all kinds of useless crap, and might as well review toilet paper. And I mentioned in that thread that I'd probably enjoy reading a toilet paper review. [Smile]
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Kwea
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SO, what are you saying...


This crap is all your fault? [Big Grin]

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Shan
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Priceless.

*giggles*

In terms of how the toilet paper flows from the roll, I was actually woken up at midnight by my dad (I was about 16) to change the direction from under to over.

*rolls eyes*

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ambyr
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One of the best things about living alone is that I buy all the toiletpaper. No more 1 ply monstrosities purchased by roommates trying to save a few extra cents!
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TL
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There was a thread long ago in which some hapless bastard wrote a fake OSC reviews everything column about toilet paper (among other things).

The author of that thing got into some hot water from kacard and OSC gave him a hard time, too. It didn't help that he portrayed OSC as some kind of maniac ...

But there it is.

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TL
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This was sometime in May 2005 if I recall correctly.
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Lyrhawn
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May 2005 counts as "long ago"?

What qualifies as ancient history following those standards? November 2004?

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Shigosei
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That was an awesome review! Toilet paper is a subject near and dear to my...uh, heart. Yeah. I particularly liked that list of attributes good toilet paper should have. Thanks for reminding us about all the hard work and design that goes into toilet paper, OSC!

I'd enjoy seeing more of this sort of thing.

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Bob_Scopatz
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LOL.

I have lost the TP brand and over/under arguments.

My brand was Scott (no relation) and I liked it because it actually is strong and absorbent...but it is a lot like sandpaper compared to the Charmin that Dana prefers. So, I'm a big softie now.

This issue didn't surface until at least two months after the wedding. For some odd reason our shopping trips together had not yet coincided with TP needs and, of course, before the wedding I had my own place (and my own supply of my beloved Scott). A few weeks ago, Dana let me buy Scott brand. She had never used it (at least not knowingly). Her recognition of it as an inferior product was instantaneous and rather pointed! [Big Grin]

The over/under thing was a more instant problem for us in our relationship. I ended the argument lamely by explaining that you can't make that little arrow shaped fold if you do it under. When she stopped laughing I had to admit that I had nothing.

I've since learned to fold the little arrow into an "under slung" roll. It uses some extra paper because you have to toss it over the top and then fold it. Sadly, my efforts at TP origami went unappreciated since I was the next one to use the facilities anyway.

Ah well...

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kojabu
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quote:
Originally posted by Bob_Scopatz:
The over/under thing was a more instant problem for us in our relationship. I ended the argument lamely by explaining that you can't make that little arrow shaped fold if you do it under. When she stopped laughing I had to admit that I had nothing.

Everytime I find the toilet paper in my house with the roll going out from under, I have to flip it. I don't know which of my family members puts it on that way, but it always bothers me.
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mothertree
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My sister used to have a ferret that would stand on its hind legs and unroll the toilet paper if it was overhand.

I also appreciated the Simpsons where Child protection agency cites overhand loading of tp rolls as one of the families infractions.

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Telperion the Silver
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Long live Scotts!

"Janet! Dr. Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky!" Bullwinkle!

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Tante Shvester
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Scott's is the best paper. The Charmin mush doesn't hold up as well to shearing forces, and will tend to leave lint or little toilet paper pebbles behind. Scott Tissue has the higher cohesiveness that I like in a product.

But, when my in-laws come to visit, I buy them the Charmin Ultra that they crave. My mother-in-law believes that she is allergic to cheap toilet paper.

Bob -- Toilet Paper Points! I love it! If you really want to impress her, try putting a "Sanitized" sash over the seat after you clean it off.

If someone did that for me, I'd follow him to the ends of the earth.

This is why I have so many restraining orders against me from chambermaids.

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KarlEd
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quote:
Since most families had maids (in poorer country, servants do the work instead of expensiveappliances) they didn't actually have to empty the wastebaskets themselves.
I had to marvel at the differences between OSC's mission in Brazil and my own 12-15 years later. In my experience, "most families" in that sentence would be a rather extreme hyperbole. Granted, a much larger percentage of the families I knew in Brazil had paid outside help than those I know even now in the US, but very few had anything I'd go so far as to call a maid. In fact, more families I knew were more likely to provide the outside help for more well-to-do families in the towns where I served. This may be because when I went on my mission the church had begun to branch out into the smaller towns and into more rural areas, whereas OSC was probably more likely to have served in a major city. This could also be evidenced by the following:
quote:
Late in my time in Brazil, an "American store" opened in a nearby mall.
I never served in any city or town that even had what I'd call a mall at all, much less an American store in one. The only noteably American experience available to people on my mission (Brazil, Campinas Mission) was the McDonald's they had recently opened in Campinas, and that was a 4-8 hours bus ride away for most of the missionaries. We got to go there on the rare occaision when a district or regional meeting was held in Campinas, or when, for some reason, we had to visit the mission HQ. (And even that McDonalds had small Brazilian touches. You couldn't get a Hot Apple Pie (tm), but you could get a Hot Banana Pie (tm) which was the same thing with the fruit switched - and far tastier, in my opinion.) Another "American" thing I often ran into was ice cream "tipo Americano", which was some strange soft-serve concoction that I don't think you'd find anywhere in the United States, but many Brazilians seemed to think that was the only way we ate it. (Picture McDonald's soft serve, but diluted by half with water, and "flavored" with Kool-Aid powder.)

Ahhhh, the memories.

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KarlEd
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quote:
This is why I have so many restraining orders against me from chambermaids.
LOL [Big Grin]
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Crotalus
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I like the Charmin with Aloe.
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El JT de Spang
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The thread from the other side where someone asked OSC to review TP is here.
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Tatiana
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You know, I love it when people tell us the cool stuff they've discovered and love, whether it be OSC or anyone else here. I bought the Dr. Bronner soap stuff that CT told us about, because it was just so cool that it has rants about world peace and everything in tiny lettering all over the labels, and also was a great product. And I love that soap now! Also her thread about Alton Brown's Good Eats show on the food network prompted me to buy both his cookbooks (I don't watch the show because of loathing tv) and every single recommendation of his that I've tried has been really great. I even changed something about the sacred empirical scratch-cake process that was handed down from my foremothers because he suggested it, and he was right.

Changing elements of time-honored recipes that always turn out well is very difficult, because the value to Knowledge or Science is only attainable at the risk of this particular one turning out badly, and that's rarely a risk I'm willing to take. Engineering is very much the same way --- it's SUPER conservative --- because the chance of a failure (think Tacoma Narrows Bridge) is just not worth what you learn from changing things. This is a problem for the advance of knowledge and techniques, and I want to start a wikipedia type database of the reasons why things are the way they are, to help advance and disseminate engineering knowledge much more quickly. Anyway, I've wandered far afield now from my original point, which is this. Reviews of stuff are great! [Big Grin]

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dkw
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Since we're re-doing the bathrooms anyway, I figure we can just add an extra toilet paper holder. Then Bob can have his brand his way, and I can have my brand my way. Life is good.
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Tante Shvester
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Two rolls, no waiting.
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Katarain
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Okay...

Scott is too thin and scratchy. However, it is a good deal and generally lasts longer than other brands. If you use enough, it functions properly. It still, however, has a tendency to break apart mid-wipe, rolling up tightly, especially if you misjudge the proper amount to use.

Charmin, Northern, Cottonelle, and most other "soft" brands leave are thicker, but leave way too much lint and pebbles, as Tante put it. Especially cottonelle. When used by people who are used to Scott, way too much of the soft tissue is used because they are used to grabbing much more. Way too little comes on the rolls, and it is generally way too expensive. It just runs out too quickly!

The best tissue is one that leaves behind little to no lint, doesn't break, is soft, and inexpensive. I have found that tissue to be...

White Cloud.

I love the stuff. It's just soft enough, is strong enough to stay together, and lasts long enough to be a good buy.

-Katarain

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quidscribis
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I can get one ply sandpaper here.

That's it. [Frown]

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seespot
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I have to put my opinion in. Toilet Paper was definitly worth reviewing. It is a quintessential part of life--especially in the USA. I think we buy Charmin right now. It's whatever we get at BJ's. I don't know, my husband usually does the shopping. The over/under issue has crept up in our marriage, mainly because I have such a strong opinion that it should be over. He really doesn't care and just puts it on however.

BTW--is my use of quintessential correct? I looked it up and was still unsure.

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Katarain
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The over/under thing really isn't an issue in our house. I think my husband has a preference, but I don't. (And I don't remember what his preference is...but I think it's the wrong one.) Anyway, we have a knee-level tp holder. So the paper sits on the edge of the sink counter.
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kojabu
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I was over at someone's house the other day and there was an empty toilet paper roll on the holder which confused me. Then I had to go looking around the bathroom - without moving from the toilet seat of course - to find where the full roll was. C'mon, just change the roll! It was at the proper height so there was no confusion there.
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jeniwren
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Reading his review reminded me of the evening after my first day at the job that eventually became the start of my career, gads, 17 years ago or so.

I had gone to work for Zellerbach as a glorified receptionist. This was after Crown was bought by James River and Zellerbach was owned (and still is owned, I think) by Mead (yeah, the pencil company...pencils, paper, a great combo, eh?). My first day on the job, a rep from James River had come to train me on the finer points of toilet paper science. I learned about single ply, double ply, the different proprietary dispensing systems and the durability of the paper fibers (by way of several interesting demonstrations). I went home that night with great amusement that my first day on the job I spent studying toilet paper.

Perhaps not coincidentally, that first day, another new employee started (and was in that training session as well) -- an outside sales rep, who later was to give me the nickname 'Jenny Wren'.

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ludosti
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I love the review, especially the end about dispenser placement. I was sitting in my office giggling while I read it. My favorite was: "But since we live in the real world, and therefore your home will have been build by monsters who want to torture people in their most vulnerable moments..."

I guess I'm lucky in that my husband and I have never disagreed over toilet paper - the brand, the direction, etc. We are also very lucky that none of our 3 cats are obsessed with unrolling toilet paper, so we can have it unroll out the top with no problem. [Smile]

I had to love reading about his toilet paper experience in Brazil. I could totally relate to it. Toilet paper in Bulgarian was a pretty interesting beast. Probably only half the households in Bulgaria used toilet paper (so we always made sure to carry around a little packet of tissues for those situations) and it was of the newspaper variety, the others used washcloths (or perhaps nothing at all - since I recall some times where there were no discernable wiping implements, not even seashells). I also had to love that the bathrooms were usually quite different from American bathrooms. Often the bathroom was literally the shower - showerhead sticking out one wall, drain in the middle of the floor. So, if you didn't remember to put down the lid (or you didn't have a lid) you were in for a wet tush the next time you had to go to the bathroom. [Big Grin]

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CaySedai
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<--- uses Soft N Gentle toilet paper and positions the roll so the paper comes over the top. [Wink]

My main rant is people who don't put a new roll on. (This is coworkers.) How difficult is it to put a roll of toilet paper on? If you don't even know how to change the toilet paper, how on earth did you manage to get a job? I've even seen where people leave a couple of squares on the roll, as if that's enough to not have to change it. [Mad] [/rant] [Wink]

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beverly
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Wow. I didn't realize so many people had strong opinions about TP.

Brand? Yeah, I prefer soft, but not that big a deal.

Over/Under? Who cares? I probably put it on differently every time.

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Astaril
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Ditto. I had no idea people noticed over/under, let alone cared. The only rule about it in my parents' house is to keep the bathroom door shut or the puppy goes in and grabs the end of the roll (either way it's on) and runs, effectively toilet papering the house in a mad frenzy.
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Vadon
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Nor did I. The only complaint I ever have is when people don't change the rolls...

Here we typically have it going under, but I'd never really noticed the over/under thing. To me, I'm just grabbing the paper and using it.

Brand... so long as it doesn't rip mid-wipe... that's about it.

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Goody Scrivener
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We buy Cottonelle, partly because I insist on 2-ply and partly because we're members of UPromise, and that's one of the participating brand names. (I also only buy Scott brand paper towels and Kleenex tissues for the same reason) Positioning has to be unloading off the top, and I've been known to go around and reload rolls that unload from the back.

And don't get me started on people who leave just a little bit on the roll.... both TP and paper towels...

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Astaril
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I guess I should mention I care about brand a little bit. My roommate has enlightened me on environmentally friendly household products, and so we use Seventh Generation toilet paper. 100% recycled, environmentally-safely bleached without chlorine, and barely more expensive than other kinds but worth it.
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Snarky
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Recycled toilet paper? [Angst]
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TomDavidson
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White Cloud is the best toilet paper known to man. But it's also ridiculously expensive. We tend to go with the store brand, which is several steps up from Scott. *shrug*
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Astaril
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Made from other paper that's been recycled, smart alec! [Razz] And you know, I kind of like the idea of using all that annoying junk mail people throw in the bin without reading for that. At least it's got *some* use this way...
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maui babe
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I'm not partial to any particular brand of toilet paper, but I'm usually pretty offended by TP commercials. So if I remember which brand has the stupid commercials with the silly bears (I think it's Charmin, but I usually change the channel) I will deliberately not buy that brand. Oh, and the "bum-shot" commercials were pretty bad too... I think that was Cottonelle.

I prefer the roll to come over the top, but I'm just happy if the roll gets changed when someone else uses the last. None of my cats over the years (I've had dozens) have ever bothered with the TP. I sometimes will flip it over, but I'd never wake anyone up in the middle of the night to do it for me. [Roll Eyes]

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Eduardo_Sauron
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Hey...let me defend my poor country over here. We do have big malls now, and very good, premium brands of toilet papers.

I guess the main issue is that both OSC, Narnia and Karl served their missions in mostly rural areas. Ok...OSC served in a bigger city, I think, but it was a while ago, since he`s a tad...hmmm...older so, yeah...there wasn`t much diversity of products, then (I checked with my parents and grandparents, hehehe).
So, I guess it is as easy to get real good toilet paper over here in Brazil as it is in most parts of the world. Of course, I live in Rio de Janeiro, which is the second largest city in the country, with access to most up-to-date products and technology.
Oh, yes...I`m not very proud of it, but you got it right. Most middle-class urban people I know (myself included) make use of hired housekeepers, because...yeah...it`s...cheap to hir e poor people to clean our houses. It may sound horrible to you, but...that`s the way over here

Please, don`t disparge my country so. :-) Nowadays, we Brazilians (at least the inhabitans of sunny Rio de Janeiro) also have the best toilet papers available to wipe our...hmmm...behinds ;-)

(One of the best over here is called "Neve", which means "Snow")

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ketchupqueen
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quote:
None of my cats over the years (I've had dozens) have ever bothered with the TP.
You're lucky. We can't keep ours on the roll at all; we have to put it in a cabinet by the toilet because the cat shreds it completely to pieces.
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mr_porteiro_head
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I spent most of my mission in Curitiba, a city that Curitibanos boast as being first world.

All of the toilet paper I encountered was just like what OSC described.

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Jacare Sorridente
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Let me counter Eduardo here-
In the big cities in Brazil you can obtain pretty much anything... if you know where to look. The horrible pink sandpaper is also somewhat of a cultural convention at this point. I think Brazilians develop thicker skin in their sensitive areas at a young age so that their anatomy can handle it.

Also, hiring a maid is a lot better than leaving someone unemployed, so I completely support the practice.

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Eduardo_Sauron
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I`ve been in Curitiba two years ago. The quality of life is first world, for sure. But about availability of goods... they`re still far behind Rio or São Paulo. At least, I thought it so, when I was there.

We still think about Curitiba as a fairly small town.

We could arrange an experience: you send me a wad of the best toilet paper you can find, and I do the same. Then we can compare. What about it?

(Of course this was written as a joke, unless you`d like to make this a real experience, ph. I`m wacky enough for that, hehehe

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Eduardo_Sauron
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Jacare... I`ve run into the "pink sandpaper" sometimes: public toilets, some malls, etc. About the "thicker behinds" thing...it was so funny the other teachers looked at me (I`m in the teachers` room in a school where I work, right now) and asked what was so funny. I`m a little ashamed to tell them the subject...

So, I said: It`s a forum about literature. We`re discussing...papers.

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ludosti
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[ROFL] Good cover Eduardo.... [Wink]
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maui babe
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My daughter, Cheri, recently returned from a mission to Eastern Ukraine. While she was there, I was preparing a package to send to her, and when I was closing it up, I had a bit more room to fill. When I was thinking about what to add to pad it, I looked around the room and saw a four pack of TP that I had bought that hadn't been put away yet, so I opened it up and used the rolls as packing material - as an afterthought more than anything else.

Cheri opened the package in the mission home after a meeting, and all the sisters from the mission were there. They were all excited to see what was in the package, and when it was opened, they all gasped and grabbed the rolls of TP - the rest of the food and stuff was forgotten for a minute.

Cheri had never mentioned what the TP in eastern europe was like, and I never thought to ask, but she was very happy to have some US TP for a while anyway.

That experience, and many others she shared on her mission made me realize how much we take for granted in this country.

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Eduardo_Sauron
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Yeah...hehehe.
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