posted
This is one of my major pet peeves. You know, those people who give you the limp wristy thing instead of a handshake, their fingertips barely brushing your palm, hand in a position as though they expect you to kiss it instead of shake it. It's like holding on to a cold, dead, fish. A handshake like that makes me want to jerk my hand away and wipe it on my skirt or pants.
We went to the school open house last night, and my son's teacher shook hands like this. I was shocked - how could a teacher, who must shake hands with lots of parents throughout the year, not know how to shake hands? And yes, this sounds sexist, but it's even worse when it's a man who shakes like that...ick!
posted
I hate that, but I hate it more when they grab just your fingers so it turns your hand like they're going to kiss it. If you're going to shake my hand, shake the whole hand, none of this namby-pampy crap. And I expect a nice, firm handshake, too.
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posted
Sometimes it's a sign of shyness. I'm not saying I like it when I get a wimpy handshake, but sometimes that's the reason for it. To me it communicates a lack of confidence.
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Oooh, yes - I forgot about people grabbing your fingers. *Gollum voice* It's nastiness, it is. Next time it happens I will raise my hand to their mouth with a look of expectation.
Mr. Opera said last night that he actually doesn't trust people who can't give a good handshake. However, if it's due to shyness I suppose they can't help it. I found myself wondering this morning if some people shake like that because they're germophobes.
posted
I get this every day, and I wonder if part of it is due to cultural differences.
In my job, I get to interview applicants, many of whom are foreign born. When I enter the room, I look at the applicant square in the face, greet them by name, introduce myself and offer my right hand for a handshake before we get down to business.
Most American-born and most Latinas will return a normally firm handshake. Most Carribean-born and African-born kind of just put their hand out for me to grab, but don't return the grip.
Most of my interviewees are women. I do not offer a handshake to the men, I just smile and greet them. If they offer me a handshake, though, I take it. I have yet to have been offered an abnormal handshake from a man that I'm interviewing.
Other than in interview situations, I rarely shake hands. And I am nurse enough to want to wash my hands as soon as I am done with the interview.
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quote:Originally posted by Jess N: Sometimes it's a sign of shyness. I'm not saying I like it when I get a wimpy handshake, but sometimes that's the reason for it. To me it communicates a lack of confidence.
Yeah. I always give a firm handshake for this reason. and the fact that a not firm one feels very incomplete.
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posted
Handshakes are awesome. There are all sorts of varieties out there. The "T-Rex" and "Limp Lefty" are some of the crazier versions I've come across. I'm a firm supporter of the standard shake though.
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posted
Silly American, you're supposed to shake hands the Norwegian way--lightly grasping the other person's hand with only the finger tips, coyly batting your eyes behind your fan, and whispering seductively,"Enchanté."
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon: Silly American, you're supposed to shake hands the Norwegian way--lightly grasping the other person's hand with only the finger tips, coyly batting your eyes behind your fan, and say,"Enchanté."
Ewww! And you Norwegians manage to hook up and reproduce? Amazing!
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I like to give a firm handshake because I want people to understand that trust myself and them. I don't "T-Rex" but I do make sure I'm noted.
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See, I get abnormal handshakes from men more than from women. Sometimes it seems like they think since I'm a girl they can't give me a "real" handshake. Then they just grab my fingers. It makes me want to knee-cap them.
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I agree. I think its indicant of the lack of traditional manners, politeness and general gentility of todays' generation (with gentility being applied mainly, though not exclusively, to men).
I think it relates to the negative sterotype that this generation has been raised on: people who shake hands firmly are either portrayed as overenthusiastic idiots or cruel taskmasters who enjoy showing their strength over others. Those two sterotypes are SOO overused in todays movies. It seems like every time I go to the movie' one of the male character's fits that role.
I mean, it's practically cliche at this point to illustrate the cruelty of a character by showing him shake someone's hand extremely hard.
That's not what firm handshakes are about. They are about respect for the other person and pride in yourself (especially if it is 2 men) yes, sometimes men play the I-can-squeeze-harder-than-you game, and yes it's stupid, but hey - its better than a dead fish. Posts: 201 | Registered: Mar 2005
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People always asked me if I was a farmer when I shook hands with them on my mission. Apparently I have a little too firm a handshake. I have been known to tell people when they have a crappy handshake (Usually only if I know them, though). I did this all the time to one kid I went to church with. Every time I shook his hand it was the dead fish. I told him to squeeze as hard as he could, and it was usually a pretty week effort. Then I squeezed. He usually ended up trying as hard as he could to escape the grip of death. It was a fun little game. Then I got home from my mission and shook his hand. Still probably the best handshake I've ever had.
edit to add: Someone did this to me when I was little as well. He was an elderly fellow in our ward that had a vice grip handshake. We (the guys my age) would always have grip battles with him. It always hurt, but it helped me develop a good strong handshake.
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I don't have a limp handshake, but I don't exactly go for a vice grip, either. That seems like overcompensating. I'm not a girly fellow, but I'm not ashamed to not be [thick Austrian accent]a super macho tough guy[/thick Austrian accent]. So I basically have a middling handshake, neither too firm nor too soft.
Maybe we should just go back to grasping each other's forearms like the Romans used to do.
Edit: We were typing "vice grip" at the same time, but you posted first. Hmph.
Posts: 1814 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
I hate it when people shake like that too! It always sets me off a bit, because it's one of your first introductions to a person.
Posts: 2867 | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by ElJay: See, I get abnormal handshakes from men more than from women. Sometimes it seems like they think since I'm a girl they can't give me a "real" handshake. Then they just grab my fingers. It makes me want to knee-cap them.
Heh, if I were you, I'd just make fun of them. Say something like, "What kind of wuss handshake is that?" then lean in close and whisper, "Do you still sleep with your teddy bear?" See what happens.
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posted
Another pet peeve, since I'm on a roll. People who don't know how to dress for important events, such as weddings. (yes, I know that's a fragment) There were some people at my wedding in shorts, for goodness sake. This was not due to financial issues, either. When did people stop dressing up? When did the casual become the same as the formal? I've been to funerals where people were in jeans as well, which just seemed weird and almost disrespectful. But maybe that's me being superficial, I don't know.
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I usually forget I am supposed to shake hands with people, so if they start to shake my hand, I do it, but often by just sticking my hand out there and hoping that I'm behaving correctly.
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quote:Originally posted by Verily the Younger: I don't have a limp handshake, but I don't exactly go for a vice grip, either. That seems like overcompensating. I'm not a girly fellow, but I'm not ashamed to not be [thick Austrian accent]a super macho tough guy[/thick Austrian accent]. So I basically have a middling handshake, neither too firm nor too soft.
Maybe we should just go back to grasping each other's forearms like the Romans used to do.
I don't do the vice grip thing unless I'm playing the Squeeze game It's actually just a firm grip and quick squeeze that I let off of really quickly.
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posted
I never offer a handshake to someone whose hands look to be arthritic. Or dirty. When in doubt, don't put it out.
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posted
Oh! Space Opera, are our pet peeves psychically connected or something? Now, I can understand not everyone owns a black suit anymore, but the last funeral I went to there was a woman in a bright white pantsuit! And another in a flowey white sleeveless dress with huge orange Georgia O'Keefe flowers on it!
Maybe it is superficial, and I'm sure the family was glad they were there, but. . . *shudder* At least wear something reasonably conservative to a funeral.
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quote:Another pet peeve, since I'm on a roll. People who don't know how to dress for important events, such as weddings. (yes, I know that's a fragment)
Space Opera: I feel the same way. It bugs me to no end when people don't have the courtesy to dress for a special occasion. Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but by dressing nicely for such times, it shows a modicum of respect for the ones you are supposed to be celebrating.
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I like to keep warm chocolate close by so that when people try to shake my hand, they are quickly discouraged when they see half-melted dark streaky clumps all over my hand.
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My pet peeve is people who have pet peeves over largely unimportant issues.... like how someone shakes hands. Posts: 8120 | Registered: Jul 2000
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A handshake is part of making a first impression on people. I know exactly what you mean Space Opera, and it does bug me as well from time to time. Not a big deal for me though, I just use it as a way of 'reading' people I guess.
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posted
for funerals I always wear either a brown dress with cammell sweater or a blue skirt with small yellow flowers on it and a white top. I don't like to wear black for them (and my only black dress is not funeral appropriate) but I do dress up. Weddings it depends on the situation ie: church, outside, home, banquet hall, las vegas (kidding).
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Playing dress-up *is* fun. I actually got a big ego boost the other day on my way to an appointment. I was in a nice pair of slacks, blouse, and heels, and got a double-take from a guy when I stopped for a drink. And, we will all agree here and now that I got the double-take because I looked sooo nice and pretty, not because of my huge belly beneath the fancy blouse.
ElJay, white at a funeral? Yikes!
space opera
edit: Lest I look as though I'm offending breyerchic, I'm talking all-over white. Posts: 2578 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Omg, the thread's divebombing into a chick what-I-wore-the-other-day thread. Bob help us all.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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I bet there has never in the history of the universe been a woman like Einstein, or that other famous guy whose name I can't think of, who just has the same clothes in her closet so she doesn't have to think about what she's going to wear that day.
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posted
What about someone who only wears one color or shades of a few colors so that everything matches?
Posts: 2867 | Registered: May 2005
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Stormy, let me have my fun. Though my husband assures me that everyone thinks pregnant women are beautiful and that you can still be sexy luggin' around an extra 20 pounds centered on your abdomen I've seen little of his theory prove true from general society. *fake sniff*
quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon: I bet there has never in the history of the universe been a woman like Einstein, or that other famous guy whose name I can't think of, who just has the same clothes in her closet so she doesn't have to think about what she's going to wear that day.
(You know I'm a provincial rube and my idea of dressing up is to put flip-flops on whatfor I step out the double-wide.)
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I bet nuns wear all kinds of stuff beneath their habits. I bet they blow most of their paychecks on Victoria's Secret and stuff.
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quote:but it's even worse when it's a man who shakes like that...ick!
You must be confused, SO. Our Back to School night is not for at least another week. Maybe you were thinking of the elementary school. But I don't teach there, so it coudn't have been me.
-o-
quote:I think it relates to the negative sterotype that this generation has been raised on: people who shake hands firmly are either portrayed as overenthusiastic idiots or cruel taskmasters who enjoy showing their strength over others. Those two sterotypes are SOO overused in todays movies. It seems like every time I go to the movie' one of the male character's fits that role.
I mean, it's practically cliche at this point to illustrate the cruelty of a character by showing him shake someone's hand extremely hard.
erm, forgive me, but I don't know what the crap you're talking about. I've never seen a movie or read a book where someone who shook hands firmly was portrayed in a negative light. I've only ever heard that a handshake should be firm. I don't think I've ever witnessed the cliché character you describe, either.
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edit: that was for both stormy and icky....crap, you guys could almost be carebears when your names are put together like that
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