posted
Olivet, I think the best thing that you can do is speak kindly to these people. Let them know that you're normal people, just like them. You just have different beliefs. I wasn't around a lot of non-Christians when I was younger, and it was good later in life to be exposed to perfectly nice people of other faiths, or no faith. Anyhow, maybe your neighbors will realize that you're not that scary. Also, have you tried turning their attempts to convert you into a two-way discussion about your beliefs and theirs?
Dan, good idea. Someone needs to come preach a message like that on my campus to balance out the fundamentalist wacko preachers.
As an as(s)ide, when I was in high school geometry, we had triangle congruency postulates. They were things like, "If all three sides are equal, then the triangles are congruent." We abbreviated postulates like this as SSS. Well, the teacher mentioned this "side-side-angle" postulate (doesn't actually exist). And he said that all the teachers call it side-side-angle (he writes SSA on the board), but for some reason, students prefer angle-side-side (he writes the appropriate acroynm).
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posted
Got another note about Liam today, and I realized his problem is, in part, that they have had a substitute. Also, he was home Friday because he had a fever.
Today, he kicked the wall when the teacher didn't pick him for something. *facepalm*
Maybe it really IS my fault he's having trouble. We let the meditation slide over the long weekend, too. That will be the next thing we do (we had a talk about the stuff yesterday, but I think trhe part of himself he's having trouble with isn't the rational part). Oy
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Olivia, are they allowed to "time themselves out" at his school? Something that really used to help my brother was being allowed to go to a corner for five minutes and calm down.
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To the best of our knowledge, Liam would never go to a corner of his own accord.
--Lindsay and Ben
(It's just not in his personality. I realize that in print, it looks like we're saying Liam's a bad kid. He isn't. We adore Liam. We just can't see him sending himself to a corner. )
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Ophelia, my daughter would never have the self prepossession to send herself to a corner. She'd much rather find out what was going to happen while she was out of control than take herself off and pull herself together. It's not naughtiness, though she certainly has that in her too, it's just a different way of looking at the world. Most of her is losing it, but part of her (I think) is wondering what is going to happen. A little emotional breakdown mixed with social experimentation. That's just her.
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It's not "sending yourself to a corner" so much as taking time to go get our agression out another way. My brother had a notebook he would draw and write angry things in and rip up if he felt like it while off in his corner-- not distracting the other kids, but getting his agression out safely.
Of course, if it got past a certain point or he was just in the mood, he would want the attention.
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My 8-year-old's class also does the "self-time" thing. When Missy gets close to the point where she's going to "hit the wall" and start an episode, one of the teachers suggests that she go to the "quiet space", which is a sort of niche they've made in a corner of the class with bookshelves, gym pads and beanbags on the floor, and she can play with the few toys or read (or attempt to read) a book until she regains control. Lately, she's become periodically aware enough of where the "wall" is and how close she is to the breaking point that she's able to ask for a quiet time herself before adult intervention is required.
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Olivet, I would like to appologize for there behavior. I'm a Baptist myself and that is not the way we are supposed to act. I hope you know however, that their actions are out of love, at least in their minds. On a lighter note, "meditation is prayer to the devil?!" Thats got to be about the funniest thing I've heard all day. Out of curiosity, what is your family practicing religon-wise. You don't have to say, I was just wondering.
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You might try being radically honest with, say, the woman (whom I think you sound a little closer to?) -- telling her what you've told us, about you, and about your feelings. The advantage is that you get to be free, in doing it; and if there's a chance of real friendship, that would be needed; and your kids might get to be friends with their kids.
Or you might decide to put up a wall of "nice." The advantage would be less risk. After all, the radical honesty approach might not work. They might decide it just shows how pagan you are, or something.
But to me, those are the two main options: talk about it with them, or don't. If you do, I don't know how they'll react. But I'd imagine it's more about you feeling like you're doing what's right, rather than what they do, at this point -- at least, it would be for me.
...
"Ass": I remember that a girl in our Sunday School was VERY surprised to hear that Mary rode to Bethlehem on hers. I don't know if that's because it was a naughty word, or because, well, what else would she ride on?
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quote: But the truth is that they are good people and I DON'T want to antagonize them or alienate them.
Olivet, I applaud the care you are taking with this situation, and I agree with dkw's advice re: confronting the parents with what the little girl said about meditation. Ultimately, if they continue to avoid your family, it's thier decision. I would hate to think you are beating yourself up for something you can't help. I would support you in being honest with them, and then leaving the proverbial ball in thier court.
Posts: 516 | Registered: Aug 2004
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When you do talk to the parents I'd have something prepared with Ron ahead of time for whatever they might say about Ron's behavior.
Knowing my own uber conservative fundamentalist parents, their problem wouldn't have been as much with what the kids say to each other, as what an adult "authority" figure (because in that world all adults are authority figures) says to their kids.
If Ron isn't willing to tone it down at all, I suspect you'll need to write off the "good neighbor" thing as a possiblility.
quote: I know that there are people like this in most fundamental churches, but the crazy thing is that they get made fun of even by the other fundamentalists. They are truly the weaker brother.
I was thinking about this and similar sentiments brought up and it reminded me of something. It took me until lunch today to think of what it was.
This is exactly what most muslims say when terrorists are discussed (except you change the word churches to mosques).
We then criticize them for not doing something about the bad apples in their fold.
Is something being done about the bad apples in our fold? Besides making fun of them, is there a concerted effort to reach them, to try and evangelize them with what most of us would say is a more true Christian belief system?
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The neighbors gave us ticketsto their Christmas play one year. They even babysat.
We left at intermission because I was having my usual church-induced panic attack, and went by Burger King and bough a complete set of LotR:FotR toys.
We picked up the boys, and thanked them. They asked us what we thought, and we mentioned scanning the corus for their daughter, and that it was very enjoyable.
"I thought it was a great presentation of the Gospell" said Mr. Neighbor, with a pointed look. I nodded and smiled, because the 'gospel' portion of the play must have been after the intermission. >_<
But I got my LotR centerpiece! Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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