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Synesthesia
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Love has a lot of different flavours and tempuratures.
When I love a person, I know. I can feel it, smell it and taste it.
But onetime I ICQed a Chinese boy I was in love with I love you in Chinese and he got very angry at me about it... *Sigh*
So I am a bit reluctant to say it.

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K.T.
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I too loved what Karl wrote. Thank you!

My parents and other family members didn't say it a lot to each other growing up, but I did. I made it a point to hug my parents and tell them I loved them every time I left the house. I was very afraid I might not see them again. Because I was that way, it caught on. My family (my siblings and parents...not so much the siblings-in-law) always hug and say, "I love you" when we leave. On the phone we always end with "love ya, bye" except my one brother who refuses to say good-bye to anyone and he says, "love ya, see ya"

However, I have a really hard time saying it to friends, even if I do love them. It always catches me off guard when they say it to me, it makes me think, "Do I love them?"

I agree with the others who said it is easier to say in another language.

I have never said it to a boy...even though I have been in love. (At least I think I have)

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Shanna
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Its interesting how different people value the words. I really liked Karl's point that saying "I love you" doesn't mean that person becomes your end-all.

I grew up in a family that says "I love you" all the time, both in serious conversation and in everyday little reminders. I, however, have always been very self-conscious and therefore very reserved verbally and emotionally.

I'm in my first serious relationship right now and had a bit of trouble the first time my boyfriend said those words to me. It happened very early in our time together so I remember being stunned and feeling as if he couldn't possibly feel that way so soon. But what overcome those thoughts, were the feelings I remember having when he did say it. I felt blessed to have someone open up and tell me that, to let me know how much I meant to them. I didn't reciprocate the words for a week and I used that time to think about whether I could ever say it back. When I began to think about how much I enjoyed our time together and how much I missed him when we said goodbye, I knew I had to say it. And not so much for my own good, but for him. I said it to him because I wanted him to feel good the same way I felt good when he told me. In the end, the words slipped out on their own the next time he told me he loved me.

He may not be the person I plan on marrying someday in the future, but he's still important to me just as much as my friends and family are. It takes some serious time to sit down and reflect on the people in your life, whether you love them or not, and why you can't say words that represent the way you feel. For me, I feared rejection and I feared to appear emotional and therefore, weak, in front of other people. Now I say it quite freely once I made the revelation that honesty was good for the soul. If I ever wanted to feel loved or appreciated, I couldn't expect the words to only come from outside, I would have to say them too.

Of course, I would never say or recommend anyone else say it when they didn't mean it. If you've done the soul-searching and the love isn't there, don't say it. Find other ways to show your appreciation. Tell them you value and care about them, and not just as a response when they say "I love you."

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