posted
I would like to start out by saying that I am intellectually intimidated by each and every one of you. The prose, wit, and overall literary acumen that each of you demonstrate with every post absolutely astounds me. That being said. I was drawn to this site after finishing the Ender Series in about 2 weeks. And after lurking for a while I've decided to at least attempt to contribute something, but my expectations for myself aren't very high, seeing as my thoughts seem to never be collected or coherent enough to make a complete statement worth of any sort of a response from any of you, but I think I might as well be prepared just in case something profound hits me.
(The following is merely a ramble about me, not properly indented, punctuated, spelled or planned that no one should feel obligated to read)
I'm 16 and still in highschool. I fiercely resent and despise people who try elevate themselves by ridiculing others, namely because I have outward flaws that are easily noticable, and the nature of these people rarely let them miss an opportunity to inflate their already enflamed egos at my expense.
My name, is Dana. I am a male, and apparently no one can possibly fathom a male named Dana so that's always helped my social "development." I can be considered an outcast, and usually am. I spend a lot of time reflecting on myself and my actions and I have realized two important facts about myself 1) I am very much afraid that I am not as smart/funny/talented as other people, and try desperately to learn or study or practice enough to feel equal. I've traced this to my aunt who I lived with for years, who always told me, and I quote, "You aren't part of the family." And that while living with her, my uncle, and my two cousins, their accomplishments were mentioned frequently and mine were never enough to acknowledge 2) I long to be accepted but not envied, embraced but not pitied. I want to fit in everywhere but find that I rarely do. I have trouble sleeping. Not insomnia, but close. I know I'm tired but sleep won't come. It's not debilitating, but still it effects my life. So I read, or write, to pass the time, I'm currently steadily working my way through Chuck Palahniuk, and I absolutely love his style. As you can imagine, Fight Club is magic to me. I still feel angry when someone totally misses the meaning of the movie, they obviously can't be bothered to read the book, and can't help but tell me how stupid it is that the whole story is about guys beating each other up. Although it does tickle me when they exclaim, without fail, "They made a book out of that?!?!" and it's my own personal joke "Long before there was a movie..." But I'm getting sidetracked. sorry it's the product of a midnight ramble.
In a nutshell, I love reading and writing, I'm messed up, but working on it, and I hope you all can work your way through my spelling and grammar mistakes, to make sense out of my disheveled thoughts.
I feel better now. Maybe I'll go try and get some sleep...
posted
Wow. I can relate to a lot of the specific descriptions of insecurities. And I don't have your excuse of verbal abuse within the family. My family is far more gentle to me than I ever am to myself.
quote:"You aren't part of the family."
I cannot fathom what would cause a person to say such a thing.
Don't worry so much about intimidation at Hatrack. Hatrack knows how to embrace the outcasts--and just being here will help you feel more intelligent, witty, and overall more aware of people and the way they think. The newbies that have to worry about rejection here are the ones who are full of themselves.
So anyway, welcome! Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
*Prepares to assume "troll-wot-talks-like-dis-me" persona* *Realises he's made the joke before, and it probably isn't funny any more* *Contents himself with a general welcome* *Slinks out of thread*
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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You sound very much like a normal person to me. Humans, being social creatures, want to be liked and accepted and everyone feels inadequate in some sense or another.
You'll do fine here!
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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Hi Dana! Thanks for posting and telling us about yourself. Your first paragraph set me up for a 20, 30 or 40 something well-read real estate agent (or something equally adult sounding), so it's hard to believe that you're so young! For what it's worth, I think you're VERY articulate. I share the same intimidation that you described and sometimes it's just easier to let other people argue more eloquently than I could. That's ok too. But, should you feel inspired, please don't hesitate.
posted
Just wait a few months, and you'll be intimidating newbies yourself. The people here are just people--probably more intelligent than the average, but people nonetheless.
I suspect that you'll fit in well here, and will be a valued member of the community in no time. Welcome!
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Welcome, Dana! I knew a Dana in college, and then, there's always Dana Carvey.
quote:And after lurking for a while I've decided to at least attempt to contribute something, but my expectations for myself aren't very high, seeing as my thoughts seem to never be collected or coherent enough to make a complete statement worth of any sort of a response from any of you, but I think I might as well be prepared just in case something profound hits me.
"Low" expectations—as you've described them—are probably a good thing. You shouldn't set out to blow everyone away, because we should be about carrying on conversations, not scoring points. So the only goal of any value here is a modest one: merely good conversation. I think we all get tempted from time to time to put too much stock in status here, but the people who can't get past that are the ones that the sad little stereotypes are built on. Your self-esteem shouldn't be tied up in impressing strangers on the internet.
It sounds like what you want is to join in good conversations, and that's the best way to approach this. Post when you feel like saying something, whether it be insightful (as opposed to "inciteful") or fluffy; listen when you want to learn. This is the way to get the most out of Hatrack.
You sound extremely articulate for a sixteen-year-old. You've stumbled upon a place that, I think, is very welcoming to articulate people. (If you don't mind my asking, what brought you to Hatrack?)
I hope you enjoy yourself here as much as I have. If you stick around, I'm sure you'll become a valuable member of the community.
(Now, not to sound nannyish, but you might reconsider giving us your full name, given that you are a minor. I don't know of anybody creepy here, but Lord knows how many people read this site, and none of us can know all of them. I know you're not going to be taken in by anything silly like in a cheesy after school special, but protecting your privacy is still not a bad thing. Removing your last name from your post might be something to think about.)
Posts: 289 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Goo Boy has a good point about removing your last name. I may just be paranoid, but there are only a few people on here who know my last name. It would be easier to figure it out now than it would have a year ago, as I've been much looser with information about my identity in the last year than I had been in my previous time on the site, but still.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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It's not hard to figure out my last name, based on stuff I've linked to. But I don't think it's too easy either. I'm not paranoid about it, but I keep it close to the vest.
TomDavidson, Bob_Scopats, JohnHansen, and Chris Bridges, obvously, feel differently. But then, they're not sixteen. Think about your parents or your school acquaintances reading what you write here, and ask yourself if you want this thread coming up on a Google search of your name. When your name is easily discernable, you need to be a lot more circumspect about what you post. I'm a teacher, and I know it occasionally worries me that something I post about work could come back to haunt me. Posts: 289 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Noemon, I've been to your home on two seperate occasions, hung out with you, exchanged emails with you, and consider you a friend. . . and I still don't know your last name. And that's fine, it's just kinda funny.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Pariah: And that while living with her, my uncle, and my two cousins, their accomplishments were mentioned frequently and mine were never enough to acknowledge
I'm so sorry, Dana. While I never lived with them, I grew up with some relatives who were the same way by me. It stinks. It hurts. They're no longer with us, but I still struggle with the feelings it left with me that I'm not good enough. Even though I know intellectually that it shouldn't bother me.
quote: I would like to start out by saying that I am intellectually intimidated by each and every one of you. The prose, wit, and overall literary acumen that each of you demonstrate with every post absolutely astounds me
I would like to point out that I am probably the most exceptional exception to that comment.
In any event, welcome to Hatrack! And beware some of the members are cannabilistic. They still think new people taste good. ketchupqueen still hasn't given my left hand back. Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
But that doesn't mean you have permission to eat my hand! I need that hand!
Edit: Congrats! On being pregnant I mean. I'm not congratulating you for eating my hand.
Anywho, that is really great news. Its means another bundle of joy is on the way. And I am positively absolutely NOT being sarcastic.
Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
No problem, dude! (I sound like such an idiot when I say dude. Remind me to never say it again. Ever!) Though, I don't think a simple pocket will stop Miss Ketchup from getting at your hand. Heck, I had mine locked in a Titanium safe, and she still got at it.
Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
I sincerely doubt you are the only 15 year old high school student in the world, steve. But I could be wrong .
Hey Pariah, did you ever get a kick out of calling your aunt, uncle and 2 cousins "The Dursleys"? Cause I would, even if they were too neandertholic to get it. Anyways, welcome. I hope Hatrack becomes a place for you to expand your horizons, like it is for me. I could NEVER hope to meet so many weirdo... I mean incredibly smart, kind people in real life.
Posts: 499 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I actually meant on this website, you know? I think your use of sarcasm was very well employed though. I applaud your brilliance.
Edit: In fact you deserve one of these:
Sorry to disappoint, but I hadn't intended to flip you off. I'm betting that is what you were expecting. I actually meant that you deserved a Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
What are you basing that opinion on? Because I'm almost postive you don't know what I look like. Unless you've been stalking me, you haven't been stalking me have you?
*looks over shoulder*
Oh God, what is that sound? Someone just knocked on the window!
*wets myself*
Or were you purely basing that opinion on the sarcastic reply to your sarcastic remark? If that is the case, I'm totally cute. I don't think I've spent more than a day, combined throughout my whole life, not being sarcastic.
Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2004
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Hey! I'm a 17 year old highschool Hatracker ... Welcome to Hatrack! Not that I've been posting here too long, but you're right ... pretty crazy how articulate most people are on here. I'm not one of them. But you sound like you are. So it will be a pleasure to read your future posts and admire your superior ... articularity? lol. So ... yeah, as I said, welcome to Hatrack. And excuse my frequent use of elipses. I think thats what ... those are called. Now, to end this sweet madness and study for the SAT.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:I would like to start out by saying that I am intellectually intimidated by each and every one of you.
Well, I can't speak for others but I can tell you that you should never be intimidated by me, because I don't really know what I'm talking about. (Others will confirm this. )
quote:I'm 16 and still in highschool. I fiercely resent and despise people who try elevate themselves by ridiculing others, namely because I have outward flaws that are easily noticable, and the nature of these people rarely let them miss an opportunity to inflate their already enflamed egos at my expense.
As a general rule, I think that if you despise someone then you probably don't really understand them that well.
In this case, I suspect you are misinterpretting these fellows. I've found that high school students who attempt to elevate themselves above others by insulting people rarely really have big egos. Usually they are (like you) very much afraid that they are not as smart/funny/talented as other people, and put people down to compensate for that. Sometimes they feel bad it, but feel forced to do it anyways - I have known people who have claimed to feel this way. Other times, though, they just don't "get" the harm coming from their tormenting. Even adults aren't that great at empathy - high school students tend to be far worse. Rather, they see their actions as normal for high school, and thus conclude they must be okay. (The irony is that most dudes who do the tormenting are also tormentors themselves, and vice versa. I'd wager you might even do it some...)
quote:"Low" expectations—as you've described them—are probably a good thing. You shouldn't set out to blow everyone away, because we should be about carrying on conversations, not scoring points. So the only goal of any value here is a modest one: merely good conversation.
Hmmm... I disagree. You should care passionately about what you have to say, because our real goal is to save the world, or at least the life of any given individual, which is more or less the world. Anything less than this passion is not giving the debate of truth and sharing of ourselves the respect it is due.
Posts: 8120 | Registered: Jul 2000
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I came back to the silly desk in the hotel room to turn off my computer and realized I hadn't come in here to give you an official welcome. Drat it all that you wrote something more than just a fluffy hello thread. I had to sit here reading it.
I would just like to tell you that the person I was at 16 and the person I am today are different in very important ways that aren't JUST due to living 31 years between the two time periods.
I was never part of a popular crowd in high school. It happens to the BEST of us. Really!
Good intro, by the way.
Stick around!
(but not at the expense of school, or real-life relationships!)
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
Hello, Pariah! I am a fifteen year old high school student myself. You'll probably find that there are many of us hanging around Hatrack for one reason or another (mostly a result of reading one of Scott's books) so you will be in good company here.
One of the things I find these forums provide, difficult to come by on other online fora, is the high-level quality of conversation that characterizes Hatrack. Add to that the many colorful, witty, and friendly posters here, and it makes for a good time all around. It will be nice to have you on here with all of us.
Have fun posting!
Posts: 973 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
hmm, i think i feel the same way about a lot of the people that post here on the hatrack forums. they all seem much more intelligent then the common man/woman. though, the common person to me are the other party-going college students and an assortment of people who post in video game / anime related forums. not a tough standard to beat. anyway, welcome again to the hatrack society and i hope there is enough here to keep u entertained and busy during your nights. i also get the same sleeping problems, yet mine come in cycles throughout the year. its definently not insomnia, but its difficult to go to sleep when u know your body is tired, yet for some reason doing nothing in front of your computer or reading a book is reason enough to stay away all night. I find that RPG's, good books, and the internet are great distractions to keep me awake. i even have a system of how i do it. i play a movie in the background while i surf the internet and post on forums. and when i am downloading anime, i play video games in between watching episodes. that way i cover all the stuff i like to talk about in any forum. having trouble sleeping has one up-side that i have found. it allows you to have loads of hobbies and interests that u might not normally have time for during the day. anyway, i think i took a little too much insulin with the last meal i ate and am starting to shake. going now to check my blood-sugar. hope u feel at home here at hatrack dana, and feel free to rant/ramble on with the rest of us!
Posts: 813 | Registered: Nov 1999
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