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Today I got a gift from Anna - what a pleasant surprise and the perfect way to cheer me up on the eve of my next procedure. Thank you Anna.
Still nervous about tomorrow, my latest fear is that I will be alone. I scheduled the surgery on a day when I figured Wes would be there, but turns out he swapped shifts with someone today, so he doesn't get off work until 8:00 am - the time the surgery is scheduled. My Mom won't be there before 8:00, because she has to stay with the kids until they get on the bus. Wes is supposed to have someone come in and work for him at 5:00 and meet me at the hospital, but I'm terrified something will go wrong and I'll be all alone in pre-op and no one will be with me before I go back. As it is I hate the fact that I have to drive myself in. Wes is going to drive me home, then he and my mom will go back later for the other vehicle.
I really hate going by myself. I'll be scared. Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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Good luck, Belle. Stay strong. I'll be thinking about you. . . you're in Eastern time, right? So 7:00 AM my time, I'll be awake and sending you all the good vibes I can. Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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My prayers and good thoughts are with you tonight and tomorrow. You're NOT going to be alone, even if the physicality of the situation makes it seem like you are. God is all over this and He's going to take really good care of you. (((Belle))) (But I'll pray that Wes can make it into pre-op to see you.) Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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Belle -- if Wes can't make it ask for the hospital chaplain to come visit with you while you're waiting. Pre-surgical visits are usually pretty high on their list of priorities, especially if they're requested.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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I wish I could be there to wait with you. I'll be there in spirit, which I know is pale comfort. I'm praying Wes can make it and that everything goes smoothly.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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I'm glad you received it, Belle. They told me it would take long since it's close to Christmas time, but it took less than a week! I'm sorry my card was so short, but the post office closes very early and I can go there only once a week. What I wanted to say is that I think there's no better way to relax than reading a book with a mug of anything hot and a piece of chocolate. Since I don't know what books you already have... I'll be thinking of you a lot today. *hugs*
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Belle is probably getting ready to go right now.
And what do you know, I'm still up. So I'll pray for you right now, Belle. (((hugs))) and best wishes. *goes off to pray*
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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The hour draws nigh. Still thinking and praying, and hoping that Wes is there. Good luck, Belle!
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Turns out I had nothing to fear - Wes got there before I did! He was waiting for me and bless him had already gotten all the paperwork so we didn't have to wait long
The surgeon came to see me in pre-op and I told him I was very scared and nervous and that I felt silly because I knew this was no big deal. He responded with "Everything is a big deal - anytime we do surgery, no matter how minor, it's a big deal. But we're going to take good care of you, I promise."
For some reason that really made me feel better. I guess because it gave the impression that he took this seriously and was going to do his best for me.
Well, after he left the anesthesiologist came by and I reiterated my fears and stress over the procedure so he ordered something to help me relax so that I could be calmer while we waited. The nurse checked on me often, asking me if I was feeling okay and if the medicine was working or not. It didn't at first, I fetlt no difference but she said she could give me more and then it helped. The surgeon had another patient before me so we were in pre-op a total of about 2 hours.
Last time I was in pre-op there were half a dozen people there - Wes, my mom, our pastor, and some friends. This time it was just me and my beloved hubby and it was nicer I think. He told me funny stories about stuff that happened to him recently on the job. When they came to take me back he kissed me, told me he loved me and that's the last thing I remember about the surgery itself.
The recovery room wasn't bad, the only hold up was the x-ray which they perform to confirm the catheter is in the right place. My nurse encouraged me to tell her when I needed anything for pain so we kept that well managed.
Now I'm home. Very sore, doing okay. For getting through this without embarrassing myself by crumpling into a pile and crying hysterically - tonight I'm going to get Wes to build me a fire and I'm going to drink some hot cocoa and then eat some of the glorious chocolate Anna sent me.
Next week - on to chemotherapy!
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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I'm so glad the surgeon said what he did, and that it was helpful for you. That's about exactly what I'd want to hear, too. Congratulations on getting through it. . . and enjoy the chocolate. Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, Belle, but at least it sounds like you're in good hands, which has got to be a comfort. You're holding up really well, too, which is no small thing.
Thanks for keeping us updated on what's going on with you--you know we're all thinking about you/praying for you/sending you positive vibes.
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I'm so glad you are home and okay, and you definitely deserve hot chocolate by the fire at the very least!
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I've been mostly lurking, but I've followed your story - I'm glad things went smoothly today. God bless you.
Posts: 1522 | Registered: Nov 2005
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I assumed that this would not be all that painful. I mean, it's just inserting something under the skin, certainly it won't hurt like my previous incision did. So when the doc sent me home with a prescription for pain meds I thought he was just covering the bases, I most likely would need only Advil for the soreness.
Wrong.
Once I got home the local anesthetic wore off and I realized that hey, this actually did hurt a good bit. From what I understand, it's not the incision to insert the device, but rather how they secure it. they have to sew into the chest wall muscles to keep it in place, and so everytime I move one of those muscles, I get a lot of pain. And you move those muscles a lot, ya know? The worst pain is when my upper arm or shoulder moves, now I know why he wanted to know if I was left or right handed before he did it.
But any way, I didn't want to come here and just whine. The bandages came off today, only steri-strips left and it's really cool. I mean I can feel it under my skin but you can't really see it. I had visions of walking around with some huge bump on my chest that was as conspicuous as a bolt on Frankenstein's neck, but it's nothing like that.
Oh, and if you sent me something and haven't gotten a thank you note - it's because I haven't gotten them mailed. They're written, but not mailed, but I hope to remedy that by the end of the week.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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Belle, it does get better, if never completely comfortable. Hang in there.
quote:He responded with "Everything is a big deal - anytime we do surgery, no matter how minor, it's a big deal. But we're going to take good care of you, I promise."
That is completely the right thing to say, because it is completely honest. Sounds like he is a good doctor, Belle.
Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Keep taking those pain meds my dear! I'm glad that you're home and that Wes could be with you in pre-op. (((Belle))) You're doing just fine and I'm glad to hear that your spirits are up. Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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Well, I got my flu shot today. Because there was such a shortage, they were giving them out to the elderly first, so I got the attention of the nurse and asked if I could get one because I was about to start chemo, and she said definitely. So I did get one, and it didn't even hurt.
I'm still very sore, mostly muscle soreness on the left side. It's my arm and shoulder that hurt, the incision site mostly itches. The soreness gets worse at night, and I don't need pain meds during the day, just right before I go to bed. Unfortunately, when the pain meds wore off last night, I woke up and couldn't sleep again. I didn't want to take another pain med and have trouble waking up on time, so I tossed and turned from 3:00 - 6:00 am.
Tomorrow I'm going shopping with my mom, she took a day off work so she could help me finish up my shopping before I started chemo. That should take care of everything, then all I have to do to get ready for Christmas is wrap.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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As long as we're putting port-a-caths in people's chests, and making them pull down their shirts or unbutton them to access said port, we really should have separate treatment rooms for men and women. It wasn't too terribly bad, they had towels they would put over us for modesty sake, but still. Just a suggestion.
Another friendly suggestion, if the room is so cold that you have to keep blankets for the patients, maybe things would be easier if you just kept the room warmer in the first place.
But seriously, it wasn't too awful. Nor was it fun, mind you. When the nurse saw my cath, she asked how recent it was because it's horribly bruised. I told her it was put in last Tuesday and she said "You know it's going to hurt when I access it, don't you? I mean, I'm not gonna lie - I'll get it over with as quickly as possible - but it's gonna really hurt."
Yep, she was right. They sprayed something cold and freezing on it to numb it, but it still hurt. But after that stick the hard part was over. I just leaned back in my recliner and talked to all my fellow patients.
I was the only woman in the room who had her hair. Four women there had breast cancer. One man had colon cancer and was on the exact same regimen I was. Of course, it changed throughout, as people would get through and new ones would come start.
I'm wearing the pump and it's funny - when the pump activates (which is only about once a minute because it's a very slow infusion) it makes a noise that reminds me of a car CD changer. It makes me think of music and I get songs stuck in my head.
Tomorrow I go back for a shorter session, then Wednesday I go back and get the pump removed. Then we take one week off and then do it again.
They told me the side effects would take a while to manifest, so I'm not celebrating just yet. I feel fine right now, slightly queasy but that's because they pushed something at the end that I could taste in the back of my mouth. However, that weird side effect where I'm not supposed to touch things that are cold - that did manifest right away. I tried to drink a cold Diet Dr Pepper and when I picked up the can, my fingers went numb and pain started shooting through them to my palm. Very strange. So my hubby made me some hot chocolate, which as we all know, fixes almost anything. Especially when made by your loved one and sipped slowly in front of a fire also made by your loved one.
I'll keep you updated on how the rest of chemo goes. Good thoughts are appreciated though at the moment I think I'm doing well.
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I have been keeping up with this thread, but I've been a little too stressed to post any. I was so glad to read that the first session went as well as something like that can go.
You're always in my prayers.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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My 4-H leader started his chemo yesterday too (once a week for five weeks) and his radiation today (five times a week for five weeks). My mom stopped by after work and said he seemed to be doing pretty well, his wife is coping pretty well too, she's more or less blind so they have help coming in to do just about everything in the house, but they both seem optimistic.
Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
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