posted
From a friend: in my lab for biology of the brain, a senior bio major asks, 'well, if you didn't use part of your brain, wouldn't it rot and cause infection?'
Posts: 866 | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
These all remind me of the books "1066 And All That" and "Non Campus Mentis." Both full of these sorts of tidbits of wisdom.
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
We were passing a small garter snake around the high school biology class as the instructor discussed the diets of various snakes, mentioning that some snakes have the ability to un-hinge their jaws when ingesting larger prey. One of the girls from the cheerleader squad raised her hand and said: "I read in the newspaper that a boa constrictor at the zoo got loose and ate a tiger."
The instructor challenged her, saying that it was impossible for a boa to EAT a tiger. She said that she would bring in the clipping if he didn't believe her. Sure enough, the next day she proudly marched in and handed the instructor a newspaper clipping about an escaped boa strangling a tiger.
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
A few years ago, I was sitting in Geometry. A senior in my class(I was a freshman at the time) was staring blankly at the ceiling. He's one of those big, football player types(not meant to be a stereotype against football players, but follow me here).
Me: "What are you doing, Dan? Counting the molecules in the cardboard?"
Dan: "Stupid! Cardboard doesn't have molecules! Go to class, idiot!"
Me: "So I guess cardboard is the newest element?"
Dan: "Geez, what are you, retarded? It's been on that table thingy since like, 1350 or something like that."
So next time teacher calls on me in science, I will be pleased to inform him that cardboard is element #0. Riiight.
Posts: 1591 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Blayne Bradley
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posted
I got a semi theoloigcal one.
Random Guy: "So ya, if I sin on Mars and die do i still go to hell? After all its nolonger on the world."
Oy. I'm agnostic and I know what World is meant figuratively to mean the Universe.
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I was at a neighborhood picnic a while back when one of the neighbors was trying to get me to take one of his nice homemade rolls. I said, "No thank you, I'm allergic to wheat". He said, "No problem, these aren't made with wheat there made with white flour"
(I've actually heard this one many times. The funniest time was when the guy said "These aren't wheat, they're (long pause) umm wheat.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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quote: Oy. I'm agnostic and I know what World is meant figuratively to mean the Universe.
You know, though, it'd be really interesting if your afterlife varied depending on which planet you were inhabiting at the time of your death. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote: Very true, but I've always maintained that 90% are below average intelligence
I love the way you do math... Cause as I see it that means that 10% are above average not 90% are below.
Posts: 503 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Latin 463 student: "I don't understand. What does -que mean?"
(Errr... for those non-Latin students, this class is one step away from a Master's level and this person was asking what the word "and" was. This is a topic covered in the first six weeks of the first class of Latin.)
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Also, while this may have been one of those 'you had to be there ones', in my Honors Sociology class we were talking about a trade the Orlando Magic recently made. The teacher refers to the guy traded for as "A big galoop" (Teach probably forgot the guys name, which is Darko Milicic or something). A guy walks in and sit down and asks the guy sitting next to him, who had been there for the whole conversation, in which Darko Milicic's name had, in fact, been mentioned, who the Magic had traded for. The guy responds "Some guy name Galoop". I really had to try hard not to laugh out loud.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I was in my honors Freshman Science class last year, and apparently they let just about anyone in them. The teacher was doing a demonstration to show that at certain wavelengths sound waves bounce back and increase in volume (echo). To show this he was holding a tuning fork over a tube of water and raising and lowering the level by lifting a tank of water connected by a hose up and down.
There was a girl in the class who was absolutely amazed by this, until she finally said "wait a minute, the water is changing levels every time you move that thing!" Apparently she had thought that the tuning fork was changing the level of water. I fell out of my chair laughing at her and I got a detention. Posts: 959 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Yes, that's why I said 'order of magnitude'. It's what is technically known as an approximation.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
So on this forum, this kid who thinks he's smart talks about how he laughed at someone who, in his mind, demonstrated stupidity. Then this real smart person put the not-so-smart kid in his place by exposing the kids own ignorance.
posted
Me, teaching a 9th-grade honors English class and trying to determine the students' familiarity with Thoreau: Have any of you read or heard of the book Walden ?
Class: silence
Cute blonde girl: OOOH! Yeah! I love that book!
Me: (rather surprised that CBG is a fan of Thoreau, awaiting further explanation)
CBG: There's this little guy, and you have to find him in the picture!
Class: That's Where's Waldo?, you idiot!!
That one of the more memorable chuckles from my very brief teaching career. But she was a good kid, with an innocence and willingness to participate that I found refreshing. She was consistently open and enthusiastic with none of the world-weary cynicism a lot of those kids already had as 9th-graders. But she did contribute her fair share of bloopers!
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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