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Background for those who don't know: I'm a 22 y/o straight asian male. WARNING also: PG-13 ahead.
I was walking home last night when a middle-aged asian guy in a 98 BMW 325i pulled up next to me with his window down. I glanced over and he said "Hello!" I paused, gave him an uneasy "...hello" back, then kept walking.
I turned a corner and he pulled up again, this time moving slowly next to me. "Are you heading home?" I pause again. "Uh...yeah." Time to start walking faster.
I cross the street and he says something that I miss. As I hit the intersection (where I need to turn left to be on the street my apt. is on), the guy circles the roundabout and stops the car, and says loud enough for me to hear "I'll give you $200 to let me suck your dick."
I stop in my tracks. "...WHAT?"
"I'll give you $200 if you let me give you head."
"...not interested, buddy."
I fled home. I took a shower. I honestly don't think I've ever felt so disgusting before.
Edit to add: I can't stop wondering if there's something about the way I act or appear that suggests says "I'm a gay whore, pick me up!" I was dressed normally, acting normally, just walking the five blocks between my friend's apt and my own.
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If an attractive woman had given the same offer, what would have been your response? If it would have been the same, would you have been tempted?
(You know, I wonder if this line of hypothetical is going to go beyond Papa Moose's comfort zone. I'll have to tread carefully.)
Posts: 5656 | Registered: Oct 1999
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quote:Originally posted by Xavier: If an attractive woman had given the same offer, what would have been your response? If it would have been the same, would you have been tempted?
(You know, I wonder if this line of hypothetical is going to go beyond Papa Moose's comfort zone. I'll have to tread carefully.)
To be perfectly honest, I don't think it would have been the same. Still disgusted, but not quite the same level of revulsion.
I'm not sure why. I've been hit on by gay men many times in the past, and it's never bothered me. I think it was the combination of this guy's age, his soliciting manner, his assumption that I'm a whore (or a college kid desperate for cash), and the specific act he was asking for (not just oral sex, but to be the giver in the equation). Also, given that he probably has some money (BMW, offering me 200 bucks), I can't imagine why he's resorted to soliciting people on the street unless this is something that he's hiding from, say, his wife and kids.
Edit to add: the attractiveness of the person in question may make a difference, too. This guy was definitely unattractive, even by gay middle aged man standards. Then again, I'm not sure it would make a BETTER difference: if the person is really attractive, I'd be more inclined to wonder what the hell is wrong with them that they've resorted to soliciting sex on the street as opposed to obtaining it legitimately.
Posts: 246 | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
I'm not sure that he thought you were a whore. Typically, and I'm not terribly positive about this, the whore would be the one doing the... uh... gift giving. He wanted to... uh... pleasure you, so he wouldn't have been looking for a prostitute, but a regular guy that would be interested in having... uh... a good time.
So don't' fret. You don't look like a whore. You look like someone who wants to... uh... get his salami sauteed. And really, is he wrong?
OK, don't answer that, I don't want to know.
Edit: hmmm, do you think the salami comment went to far? If so, I don't mind changing it.
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jan 2006
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Regardless of the cirsumstances, being spoken to like that sounds traumatizing. People can be so...ugh.
Posts: 3636 | Registered: Oct 2001
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I really sorry this happened to you. I think every nearly every woman understands what its like to be treaty that way and exactly why you felt the way you did. I think its rather insulting to suggest that you would have responded differently or even been tempted to respond differently if the solicitor had been an attractive woman.
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Honestly, Rabbit, I think most men would be tempted to respond differently if the solicitor were an attractive woman.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: Honestly, Rabbit, I think most men would be tempted to respond differently if the solicitor were an attractive woman.
Most men are also complete imbeciles.
Posts: 246 | Registered: Jul 2006
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That's terrible. There's a huge creepiness factor there, especially with him being in the car and you walking...if he became threatening you were on foot while he had the capability to run you down.
:shudder: I'm really sorry it happened to you.
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It's true. Having a healthy sex drive and being attracted to certain types of people directly correlates with intelligence. Man, what idiots guys are, being attracted to physically attractive women and not being totally aversive to the idea of receiving sexual "gifts" from them. Yeah, any guy that has ever been enticed by the idea of a bj from an attractive stranger is a fool.
Also: Demonstrocity, in no way is either of my posts meant to diminish the disturbity of what you experienced. I definitely agree that a Crying Game shower is deserved afterwards.
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: Honestly, Rabbit, I think most men would be tempted to respond differently if the solicitor were an attractive woman.
Most men are also complete imbeciles.
It would be nice if all men were ONLY imbeciles.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Belle: That's terrible. There's a huge creepiness factor there, especially with him being in the car and you walking...if he became threatening you were on foot while he had the capability to run you down.
:shudder: I'm really sorry it happened to you.
I hadn't even thought about that. I think I was too busy being squicked out by the fact that we were less than 200 feet from my front door.
quote:It's true. Having a healthy sex drive and being attracted to certain types of people directly correlates with intelligence. Man, what idiots guys are, being attracted to physically attractive women and not being totally aversive to the idea of receiving sexual "gifts" from them. Yeah, any guy that has ever been enticed by the idea of a bj from an attractive stranger is a fool.
As you're demonstrating, most men apparently don't think beyond "Oh, wow, she'll give me head, AND she'll pay me?!" Nevermind that you have no idea what mental condition this person is in, nor do you know what STDs and other transmittable diseases they have, nor do you stop and wonder if it's a setup.
Nope, just "I'm horny, this woman is hot, orgasms incoming!" I'm guilty of it, too, as I pointed out in my reply to Xavier. But it's not a smart or safe way to think.
Posts: 246 | Registered: Jul 2006
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Ok, I guess I was confused. I thought we were talking about being "tempted to respond differently," not jumping in the car and pulling down the pants. I don't think there is anything wrong with being tempted to respond differently, nor do I think that it is any indication of intelligence.
I fully agree that acting on that temptation and getting in the car and engaging in any type of sexual conference with a stranger, attractive or not, for money or not, is a bad idea and should definitely be avoided.
You are correct, I did demonstrate that IMO most men would think that first, if they were attracted to the woman. But I also think that most men would then think, "Wait a minute, hold on. Don't act too rashly little guy, this may turn out very bad for you and me in the long run. Lets keep walking."
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by vonk: Ok, I guess I was confused. I thought we were talking about being "tempted to respond differently," not jumping in the car and pulling down the pants. I don't think there is anything wrong with being tempted to respond differently, nor do I think that it is any indication of intelligence.
I fully agree that acting on that temptation and getting in the car and engaging in any type of sexual conference with a stranger, attractive or not, for money or not, is a bad idea and should definitely be avoided.
You are correct, I did demonstrate that IMO most men would think that first, if they were attracted to the woman. But I also think that most men would then think, "Wait a minute, hold on. Don't act too rashly little guy, this may turn out very bad for you and me in the long run. Lets keep walking."
That I can agree with. My first reaction if a beautiful woman in a BMW pulled up and offered me sexual favors AND to pay me would probably be, "Wait, really?" followed about a second later by "get the holy rotten hell away from me."
Posts: 246 | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote: I think its rather insulting to suggest that you would have responded differently or even been tempted to respond differently if the solicitor had been an attractive woman.
Did I suggest any such thing?
When someone makes a leap like that it can really annoy me.
I asked because I was curious.
As Tom mentioned, a lot of guys WOULD be tempted, myself included (assuming I was not in any relationship at the time).
I would most almost certainly say no, because of the risk of STDs and the very real possibility that the woman is bonkers, and I wouldn't want to be in such a vulnerable situation with a woman who may be bonkers.
I would still be tempted, if only briefly, and I was curious as to whether others would say the same.
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I'm sorry this happened to you, Demonstrocity.
And glad you "fled home". I've been reading in the news that there have been lots of bizarre and random murders in your area (your profile says you're in Seattle)
quote:Originally posted by Farmgirl: I'm sorry this happened to you, Demonstrocity.
And glad you "fled home". I've been reading in the news that there have been lots of bizarre and random murders in your area (your profile says you're in Seattle)
FG
Yeah, although thankfully not in my particular neighborhood - it's more just generalized weirdness around here, as opposed to outright insanity in, say, Capitol Hill (link).
I appreciate everyone's sympathy, and/or humor. I didn't think this would freak me out as much as it did.
Posts: 246 | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Angiomorphism: Is it at all possible that this guy was joking? Just trying to play a prank on you or film a new reality prank show?
It just seems so unlikely that someone would do that and expect a positive outcome.
Judging from the weirdness I've seen in and around Seattle (heck, just look at the casual encounters and/or erotic services section of Seattle [or SF]'s craigslist), I'd say he was probably completely serious.
Posts: 246 | Registered: Jul 2006
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I live in Toronto, and it's no candyland, but I've never heard of anything like this happening to a guy friend of mine. Just seems so non-sensical
Posts: 441 | Registered: Jun 2005
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You greatly underestimate what some people are willing to do for $200. I have no doubt he has probably tried this (successfully) before. How sad.
Posts: 9538 | Registered: Aug 2003
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See I think that 200$ is a little low.. But that leads me to my next question:
How much would he had had to offer for you to do it? This goes for everyone.
I'll start (and for reference I'm a 21yr old straight male who believes that almost everyone has a price), I'd say he'd have to get to at least 2 million before I'd consider it, and there would have to be a condom involved. I mean think of all the good you could do with that money.. Just a thought.
Posts: 441 | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Angiomorphism: See I think that 200$ is a little low.. But that leads me to my next question:
How much would he had had to offer for you to do it? This goes for everyone.
I'll start (and for reference I'm a 21yr old straight male who believes that almost everyone has a price), I'd say he'd have to get to at least 2 million before I'd consider it, and there would have to be a condom involved. I mean think of all the good you could do with that money.. Just a thought.
My opinion might differ on another day, but as of right now, there really is no amount of money that I would do it for.
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I just don't see it. No amount of money? 2 mill? Man, maybe I'm cheap, but to let someone else [edit]do stuff[/edit], it wouldn't be more than 500k. I would start high of course, maybe at 10mil, but my low ball would probably closer to 250k or so. Enough to where if I invested very wisely I wouldn't have to work a day in my life. I think that would be worth getting [edit]stuff[/edit] from a stranger.
Of course there would have to be stipulations protecting me from violence and such.
Edited to take out anything that might be offensive.
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yeah - stipulations, vonk. I was going to say in a situation like that, you never know if this total stranger is actually going to do what he says -- or if he's rather cut your head off....
..not worth any $$$ of risk
Posts: 9538 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I can sense a comment from Papa Janitor coming...
The conversation has largely gone where I thought it would go, and so I feel obligated to point out that while nothing specific that has been posted is necessarily out of line, Mike tends to get pretty uncomfortable when these types of discussions take place here.
Posts: 5656 | Registered: Oct 1999
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quote:Originally posted by vonk: I just don't see it. No amount of money? 2 mill? Man, maybe I'm cheap, but to let someone else go down on me, it wouldn't be more than 500k. I would start high of course, maybe at 10mil, but my low ball would probably closer to 250k or so. Enough to where if I invested very wisely I wouldn't have to work a day in my life. I think that would be worth getting head from a stranger.
Of course there would have to be stipulations protecting me from violence and such.
The problem being: those stipulations can't really exist, unless you set up an unrealistically artificial situation (which makes the hypothetical pointless).
In order to properly address the issue, I think you need to assume that you cannot guarantee anything about the person, including what diseases they may have or their mental condition.
Posts: 246 | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by vonk: I just don't see it. No amount of money? 2 mill? Man, maybe I'm cheap, but to let someone else go down on me, it wouldn't be more than 500k. I would start high of course, maybe at 10mil, but my low ball would probably closer to 250k or so. Enough to where if I invested very wisely I wouldn't have to work a day in my life. I think that would be worth getting head from a stranger.
Of course there would have to be stipulations protecting me from violence and such.
The problem being: those stipulations can't really exist, unless you set up an unrealistically artificial situation (which makes the hypothetical pointless).
In order to properly address the issue, I think you need to assume that you cannot guarantee anything about the person, including what diseases they may have or their mental condition.
But surely there is an ammount of money high enough where even those risks are assuaged, with some careful security on your side (like a weapon and protection down there).
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posted
In the interest of not having the thread locked down, I'm not pursuing the hypothetical further.
Posts: 246 | Registered: Jul 2006
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Well, in a way I can see a "positive" spin to this thread.
Girls get propositioned. Boys get propositioned. It happens all the time.
Maybe some of the younger folk reading this will learn that it is a possibility in this world and to consider in advance how they would react if it happened to them, so as to not get caught off-guard.
I will admit the first time a male made an unwanted move toward me when I was a teen girl, I was pretty stupid and naive'.
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Me and my friends, ironically enough, just had a conversation about how much money it would take to do certain things. Now, mind you, our talk was much less ... raunchy (did I use that word right?). The farthest we got was "How much would it take for you to kiss a gay hairy dwarf?" (no offense to any gay hairy dwarves out there). I said minimum $500.
On topic (the original one), just hearing about that experience makes me feel all slimey.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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That kinda reminds me of my 11th grade American History teacher. He was in Thailand and some guy came up to him and said, "You want girl, X$" my teacher politely declined and the man after just a few moments tapped him on the shoulder and said, "We got man too! Y$" my teacher again declined and the man was quite confused but 10 minutes later he found my teacher again and the man had a 10 year old boy in tow, "How about boy? Z$"
The child sex market in Thailand is a very sad thing.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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I've been "propositioned" twice in my life. Once when I was sixteen by an old man (he ruined my highest score in Pac-Man, that bastard), once when I was thirty-three by what looked like a college student from inside a car (no, I didn't have a Coke at the time).
I use the term "propositioned" in quotes because I was never actually offered money. What, I'm not worth anything to you people?!? How dare you!!!
They're the kind of things you read about and don't believe until it happens to you.
Posts: 3486 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Ugh, it really is very disturbing. I've been given similar propositions; what made it creepier is that I was 16 at the time, and it wasn't like I was in a part of town that would be likely. Just walking the park, book in hand, and . . . ugh. I rushed to a public place after.
Posts: 1735 | Registered: Oct 2004
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![[Frown]](frown.gif)
There's a huge creepiness factor there, especially with him being in the car and you walking...if he became threatening you were on foot while he had the capability to run you down. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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