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Author Topic: Can I just say something?
Luet13
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I guess Hatrack would call me a lurker, because I read a lot of posts but rarely respond to anything. This is pretty much how I am in real life, say, at a party. Everyone else has many things to say, but I like to sit back and process it all.

I just want to let it be known that I have a hard time forming ideas into words, and without the benefit of actually speaking (tone, immediate clarification of points) my written words don't really come out right.

I am saying this because I feel that I was unfairly attacked in the Classical Music thread. I didn't think this was a hostile community. And I know for a fact that the majority of people here are not hostile. You seem like really awesome people, some that I would love to meet irl someday.

I just want to make it clear that written words are not my strong suit, and I'd like to apologize in advance for any future misunderstandings.

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MyrddinFyre
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I'm the same way, years of typing here has sort of helped, but I'm still awful at articulation. A while back I just thought, darn, if I am ever to get better I just have to type a lot. I just had to get over the idea that people would also be reading what I wrote. It's also helping with my talking too, though I'm still not good at it. But how else are we 'sposed to get our ideas out, eh? [Smile]
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TL
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I don't think you were attacked in the Classical Music thread anymore than you were attacking anyone else.

Which is to say, you were attacked a little, and you did attack a little, but no more so than is normal.

Certainly I wouldn't take personal offense to it if I were you, and I wouldn't expect that anyone would take personal offense to you.

Furthermore, it saddens me that you felt the need to post this explanation / apology for yourself. Seems like it kind of takes the backbone out of any further debates you might have here on hatrack.

Which is too bad. Debating on hatrack is fun.

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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
Debating on hatrack is fun.
I completely disagree. Discussing is fun, but debate it tiresome.
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TL
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Debate it tiresome? Get some English, dude.


(just kidding)

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KarlEd
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I'm dismayed by the idea that an appology/explanation, or other attempt to smooth over inadvertently ruffled feathers is equal to "taking the backbone out" of the strength of one's arguements.

Dismissal of others feelings might be a body part of debate, but I'd venture it's a few inches south of the backbone.

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TL
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I too find myself dismayed at points of view that differ slightly from my own, and would like to hereby hint, carefully, (without actually saying so) that everyone who disagrees with me from this point forward is an ass.

I've said it here in this thread, so I hope you all understand me in advance, and I won't have to say it individually to each of you in the future.

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KarlEd
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[Roll Eyes]
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TL
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This smiley face will let you know what I think of your post!
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MandyM
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But it IS personal. It is hard not to take an attack on one's own thoughts and feelings personally, especially in a forum such as this. The whole idea of not typing something you wouldn't say in person doesn't always work either because some people are jerks in person too.

Luet, unfortunately some people here are just trolls. They enjoy the fight and hurting other people's feelings just doesn't matter and even think it's funny. Some of those posters are present in the thread you are referring to. There is no need for you to apologize. But there is also no need for you to go back to a thread that bothered you and continue to post there. I am sorry this has happened to you and I hope you will continue to frequent this board. Most people here are perfectly nice.

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John Van Pelt
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I think some of you are ignoring the more important part of Luet's post, "... I have a hard time forming ideas into words, and without the benefit of actually speaking (tone, immediate clarification of points) my written words don't really come out right."

Whether true or not, it's a useful and constructive admission. I really don't think the 'apologize in advance' was intended as a perpetual get-out-of-jail-free card. (God forbid -- what if Luet one day wanted to really lambast someone! [Smile] )

To Luet I say: Everyone experiences that, to some extent. It is part of this medium (as you noted). And it can sometimes really be surprising when people don't get your humor or sarcasm or sincerity or whatever.

You also have to recognize that swings both ways -- you were offended by some responses you got, but felt those people misread you. How do you know they are not just as inept as you at expressing nuance, and maybe you are misreading them?

So most of us, most of the time, try to take an inch/give an inch. I sympathize with the fact you find this process difficult.

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DarkKnight
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I was really hoping to open this thread and find a post from Luet13 that simply said...

Something

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erosomniac
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I was really hoping to open this thread to find a post from Luet13 that simply said...

"There was jelly in this cupboard the whole time."

Seriously though, Luet, you're right in your assessment: for the most part, it's not a hostile community (especially for a web forum, jeez!), but everyone has buttons that you can push for negative reactions. I've discovered this any number of times myself (anti-smoker ad thread, anyone? oi.).

With Orincoro, that button is classical music. It's best just to not go there. It's like trying to chew your way through a brick wall in order to get to the peanut butter sandwich on the other side. [Wink]

(No offense, Orincoro. [Wink] )

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Nighthawk
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Oh, what do you know.

Idiot.

So there.

[Wink]

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Artemisia Tridentata
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Luet They at least responded to your thoughts, meaning that they put a value to them. It could be worse. Sometimes it seems like when I respond, the thread ends. I've even thought of changing my "stage name" to Ender. Your responses are excelent practice in written communication. That particular social grace is endangered in our society. Keep posting.
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vonk
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quote:
Originally posted by Artemisia Tridentata:
Luet They at least responded to your thoughts, meaning that they put a value to them. It could be worse. Sometimes it seems like when I respond, the thread ends.

I often feel the same way. Sniff. *tear* Anyone know a good emo band? [Frown]
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El JT de Spang
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quote:
"There was jelly in this cupboard the whole time."
*snort*

My fantasy football league is named "What's Jelly?"

And I didn't even start it.

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El JT de Spang
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Oh yeah, and on the original subject, don't complain when your post has exactly the objective you intended it to have.
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Sharpie
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quote:
Originally posted by vonk:
quote:
Originally posted by Artemisia Tridentata:
Luet They at least responded to your thoughts, meaning that they put a value to them. It could be worse. Sometimes it seems like when I respond, the thread ends.

I often feel the same way. Sniff. *tear* Anyone know a good emo band? [Frown]
This happens to me, too. I tell myself it is because I am so concise and answer things so very well that nothing more needs to be said... It's a sign of RESPECT. Yeah, that's it. [Big Grin]
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BaoQingTian
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quote:
Originally posted by vonk:
I often feel the same way. Sniff. *tear* Anyone know a good emo band? [Frown]

I wish my lawn was emo
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Dr Strangelove
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quote:
Sometimes it seems like when I respond, the thread ends.
Oh, I'm so bringing back The Last Post thread now. Which one should I pick .... [Evil Laugh]

And Luet .... it's all goooood. I'm constantly in awe of Noemon and Icarus and others, the way they seem to be able to easily say pretty much exactly what they want to say. Me, I think I'm slowly getting better, but it still takes usually at least 3 tries before I'm able to get what I want to say out, and by then the conversation has moved on. I just enjoy being in the company of people who have that skill to express themselves, hoping that somehow someday it will rub off on me.

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vonk
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quote:
I wish my lawn was emo
Granted! Now your lawn is always depressed, dresses androgynously and may or may not have fallen asleep with jell in it's hair. Oh yeah, and there is no way you will ever get it to turn down that awful whiny music.

... oh wait, wrong thread.

[edit: Gah! The end of the "Fine" thread and the Questionable Content archives are making me do it!]

[edit2: ... make fun of emo that is...]

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BaoQingTian
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Actually, I wouldn't have to mow it 'cause it cuts itself. [Razz]

.
.
.
Shoot sorry...time for sensitivity training for me. Perhaps I should move this to the thread you mentioned.

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vonk
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Bah doom -- ... no no, never mind.

Kidding! Hilarious! :roflmaobijsdfichi:

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Launchywiggin
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I can't tell you how many posts I've written that never make it on the page because I know I sound stupid compared to the smarties.
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BaoQingTian
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Awww, just get over it. Look at my posts, obviously I did [Big Grin]
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Threadender
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I just thought of a great new screen name.
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Nighthawk
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quote:
Originally posted by Launchywiggin:
I can't tell you how many posts I've written that never make it on the page because I know I sound stupid compared to the smarties.

Smarties? Where?
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erosomniac
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quote:
Originally posted by vonk:
:roflmaobijsdfichi:

...What now?
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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
Smarties? Where?
They're not real smarties. They're just M&Ms with thick shells.
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vonk
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quote:
Originally posted by erosomniac:
quote:
Originally posted by vonk:
:roflmaobijsdfichi:

...What now?
Rolling on the floor laughing my a** off because I just ... uh... just ... hmm... you know, now I'm not sure what it was. [Dont Know]
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TL
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Allow me to re-respond to Luet and sort of elaborate. What I'm getting at, first of all, is that I was disappointed that Luet thought he had anything to apologize FOR. I thought his posts in the other thread were great.

The wonderful thing about hatrack is that this is the only community I've found where good people can disagree, even get carried away... But nobody, at least as far as I can tell, actually hates each other, or carries on an agenda against each other. (Except for those threads about Israel... Those can get pretty ugly.)

Flame wars are usually pretty tame, and are about good people disagreeing, rather than personal attacks.

I don't take anything personally on hatrack because I assume that if I cross a line with somebody (which I have done once or twice, sadly) they will forgive me when I apologize and then we can steer back to the discussion and get on with our lives.

Likewise, if someone crosses a line with me, I don't take it personally (for very long), I forgive them quickly, and we all try to move forward.

I hold no grudges at hatrack, and I don't think there are any grudges *against* me here (though I could be wrong) -- because hatrack is one of the only places on the internet that actually feels like a real community. We hatrackers, even though we might disagree sometimes and call each other a snob or a bully or a troll -- At the end of the day we're all still hatrackers. And that kind of means something. I can't do anything other than love my fellow hatrackers, when you get right down to it.

So, no, I don't think Luet should take it personally; and I don't think he should have to apologize to hatrack at large for what he said or did. Which was, basically, making some really excellent points but getting a little too carried away with the sarcasm. Now, maybe apologizing to the individuals in question might be appropriate, I don't know. That's not for me to say.

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rivka
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(Sorry, I've been resisting doing this all day, it's late, and my willpower is gone.)
quote:
Can I just say something?
NO!!!

BACK IN YER BOX!

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Orincoro
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quote:
Originally posted by Luet13:

I am saying this because I feel that I was unfairly attacked in the Classical Music thread. I didn't think this was a hostile community. And I know for a fact that the majority of people here are not hostile. You seem like really awesome people, some that I would love to meet irl someday.

I just want to make it clear that written words are not my strong suit, and I'd like to apologize in advance for any future misunderstandings.

Luet, I am glad you took my admonishment seriously, because your own post in that thread was simply ridiculous. My response to it felt completely right, it was a very trollish thing for you to post and I am glad you reconsidered it. On that note, I can see that your not a troll since you care enough to be bothered by it, and I want to say that I wasn't attacking YOU, but simply kicking the legs out from under a pretty indefensibly silly post. You post what you want, and if its ridiculous, then people are going to go after the part of it that makes no sense- that post happened to be completely batty. Meh, no hard feelings though. [Wink]
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TL
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quote:
Luet, I am glad you took my admonishment seriously, because your own post in that thread was simply ridiculous. My response to it felt completely right, it was a very trollish thing for you to post and I am glad you reconsidered it. On that note, I can see that your not a troll since you care enough to be bothered by it, and I want to say that I wasn't attacking YOU, but simply kicking the legs out from under a pretty indefensibly silly post.
Oh Jesus.
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ClaudiaTherese
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Excellent post, John Van Pelt. Both tone and content.
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Orincoro
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quote:
Originally posted by TL:
quote:

Oh Jesus.
You're crossing a line with me. At this point I can't see anything you've posted lately in response to me that wasn't personal and petty, and this is one of them. Much like your last response in the other thread, this one shows that you have absolutely no interest in a good faith discussion, and that you have some sort of agenda now directed at me. Fine. I'm letting you know that I am going to ignore you for a while, and you don't have to apologize for trying to antagonize me, you just won't get anything more out of it from here.
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Rappin' Ronnie Reagan
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quote:
Originally posted by Orincoro:
Luet, I am glad you took my admonishment seriously, because your own post in that thread was simply ridiculous. My response to it felt completely right, it was a very trollish thing for you to post and I am glad you reconsidered it. On that note, I can see that your not a troll since you care enough to be bothered by it, and I want to say that I wasn't attacking YOU, but simply kicking the legs out from under a pretty indefensibly silly post. You post what you want, and if its ridiculous, then people are going to go after the part of it that makes no sense- that post happened to be completely batty. Meh, no hard feelings though. [Wink]

It's like you live in a completely different reality than I do.
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Luet13
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I really appreciate the excellent advice from most of you.

TL: I am she, not a he.

Orincoro: I don't think my post was ridiculous, just worded badly.

I guess making a blanket apology for future comments was pretty silly, but I'm trying to get better at this whole thing. [Wink]

On a completely unrelated note: I'm playing piano for a Gala at US Cellular Field tomorrow night. I am far too excited about this. [Big Grin]

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan:
It's like you live in a completely different reality than I do.

Right there with ya, RRR.
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ElJay
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Thirded.
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Orincoro
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quote:
Originally posted by Luet13:

On a completely unrelated note: I'm playing piano for a Gala at US Cellular Field tomorrow night. I am far too excited about this. [Big Grin]

Nice. First time I performed at an SF giants game (only time!) was in highschool with the men's chorus, about 14 members. We got to sing both the American and the Canadian national anthems because the game was against the Expos [Big Grin] It was very cute looking back, because we all got on our letterman jackets and were very school-spirity. Definetly a high-point, good luck!
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TL
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quote:
You're crossing a line with me. At this point I can't see anything you've posted lately in response to me that wasn't personal and petty, and this is one of them. Much like your last response in the other thread, this one shows that you have absolutely no interest in a good faith discussion, and that you have some sort of agenda now directed at me. Fine. I'm letting you know that I am going to ignore you for a while, and you don't have to apologize for trying to antagonize me, you just won't get anything more out of it from here.
Okay. This will probably make my hatrack life a good deal less stressful anyway.
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TL
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You're wrong, by the way, about the personal/petty stuff.
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Noemon
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Fourthed.
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Launchywiggin
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ouch.

I like Ori.

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vonk
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Me five.
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Orincoro
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Me Six!

::looks around::

What's this thread all about then guys?

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Squish
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I'm not sure... at first I thought it was lurkers, but now... (Still don't like that term when refering to me. Makes me feel like a stalker.)

quote:
Originally posted by vonk:
quote:
Originally posted by erosomniac:
quote:
Originally posted by vonk:
:roflmaobijsdfichi:

...What now?
Rolling on the floor laughing my a** off because I just ... uh... just ... hmm... you know, now I'm not sure what it was. [Dont Know]
Maybe it was "Rolling on the floor laughing my A off because I just saw dogs flying in costumes holding imps." ^_^
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