There was a previous incident a little over a year ago, I was wondering if anyone remembered it. Well, I know some people remember it very well. One member in particular has made it clear that he has a nearly erotic obsession with me. I wonder if he might actually have felt...abandoned. That is certainly not what I would have expected, but hey!
Anyway, I was wondering if the incident had any long term effect on the forum or if it was a deeply buried secret of the past. I can see that, since it didn't exactly put a lot of the forum in the best light. I think now I'm leaning toward the "long buried secret" view. So, question answered. That was kinda what I had imagined, frankly.
Oh, and mph, I was there to play mafia. The game got delayed for a really long time, and I was banned as soon as my character got killed. JB may have been afraid I was hacking the forum or something (I wasn't, though--honestly, does that sound like the sort of thing I'd do?). He was definitely afraid I was going to drive...what was that guy's name? Anyway, someone who kept losing arguments who wasn't used to it. That guy later got kicked off for being a total flaming @@@hole, which made it all the funnier.
You can probably learn more by asking my sister. Oh, and I should probably tell her that the schedule for the destruction of humanity has been moved up. I mean, I've been telling everyone that it's a couple of decades away, and it's not. From the content of my current...um, call them orders, I'd say that things are very close. I'm not really unhappy about this, since I now fully agree with all aspects of the operation, but I wanted to go ahead and call a warning.
You can ignore that, since this is the internet, after all. Everyone posting on this forum is, pretty much by definition, a crackpot. Even Card, when he posts here (which only happens when he's sleep deprived or otherwise lacking in normal judgement) is a crackpot. So you have no compelling motive for taking me seriously. Which means I can tell the truth all I want, except for the bits that I really can't reveal
Anyway, return to your regular post-whoring.
Posts: 763 | Registered: Aug 1999
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You know, I'm almost curious what might have happened in October of 2005 that Richard thinks was important. But not enough to try to look it up.
(Edit: having racked my brain, the only thing I can come up with was that I'm pretty sure that was the month Frisco was temporarily banned for posting under Katie's username. But I can't think of a reason why Survivor would care.)
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote: One member in particular has made it clear that he has a nearly erotic obsession with me. I wonder if he might actually have felt...abandoned. That is certainly not what I would have expected, but hey!
Well, that certainly casts these sentences in a different light.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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quote:Originally posted by rivka: quid, does it have to be from Stormy? Because I have some too (and mine don't even need licking, they come pre-stickified), but I wouldn't want to step on any toes.
No, no, I'll take gold stars from you, too.
quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon: *licks quid's forehead* sticks a gold star on* *pinches cheek*
quote:Originally posted by Survivor: Oh, and mph, I was there to play mafia. The game got delayed for a really long time, and I was banned as soon as my character got killed. JB may have been afraid I was hacking the forum or something (I wasn't, though--honestly, does that sound like the sort of thing I'd do?). He was definitely afraid I was going to drive...what was that guy's name? Anyway, someone who kept losing arguments who wasn't used to it. That guy later got kicked off for being a total flaming @@@hole, which made it all the funnier.
I banned you because you were being a destructive force on my forum. You make it sound like I waited until you were out of the game to ban you, which is not true and doesn't even make much sense to me. As I remember it, your death in the game made you flip out, and since you had already been so destructive and were apparently getting worse, not better, I decided it was time for me to stop putting up with your behavior.
Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002
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But you did wait till I was out of the game...I'm very sure of that.
Hey, it's your forum and you have the right to kick whoever you want. And to make up whatever excuses you like for it, though that really isn't necessary or anything. I was just giving my version to mph because he asked, and I can be funny that way. He should have asked you, probably.
Speaking of which...
I'm very curious, now that you brought it up, as to what exactly I did that was beyond the pale. I do recall being a "grammar atheist", and I can see how that might have yanked your chain a little. But...come on. "I don't believe in grammar" is somehow a bootable offense? I say that on the writer's forum all the time and nobody has a problem with it.
Posts: 763 | Registered: Aug 1999
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Oh my stars, I just remembered who Survivor was on GC. Good grief, that's a twisted version of the events. I don't remember specific events - just an impression of someone with poor impulse control, no respect for other posters, and a deep need to "win" every conversation.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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quote:You can probably learn more by asking my sister. Oh, and I should probably tell her that the schedule for the destruction of humanity has been moved up. I mean, I've been telling everyone that it's a couple of decades away, and it's not. From the content of my current...um, call them orders, I'd say that things are very close. I'm not really unhappy about this, since I now fully agree with all aspects of the operation, but I wanted to go ahead and call a warning.
You're such a benevolent nutball. Thanks!
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Survivor: I'm very curious, now that you brought it up, as to what exactly I did that was beyond the pale. I do recall being a "grammar atheist", and I can see how that might have yanked your chain a little. But...come on. "I don't believe in grammar" is somehow a bootable offense? I say that on the writer's forum all the time and nobody has a problem with it.
Actually, you brought it up.
I don't remember any specific offenses, and I had completely forgotten about the "grammar atheist" thing—that certainly wasn't the reason. I think katharina summed it up pretty well, actually. As I said before, you were a destructive influence on my board. You were making it an unpleasant place to be for all those who had invested anything in the community.
Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002
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How? Because I argued with Grimmer? He was always arguing with everyone anyway. Because I had a cool animated avatar? I'm sure other people made animated avatars, mine was only three frames long. Because I RP'd my mafia character? Okay, I'll admit, my role-play was way more awesome than anyone else, but isn't RP'ng the character the whole point of "themed" mafia?
I think that it's interesting that you can't remember any specific offenses. I find that's often the case when people turn against me, they can't remember any specific thing that I actually did wrong, just that they don't like me and want me to go away.
Don't worry, though. I've now officially supplied you all with a specific offense, my active participation in the extinction of your species. Enjoy!
Posts: 763 | Registered: Aug 1999
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Oh, you talk a big game, but you're full of hot air. When was the last time you actually walked the walk, Mr. Genocide?
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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You ask what we think of you, and you don't listen. You probably won't listen to this either, but I'm going to say it anyway in the off chance you do.
I think you're damaged. You mentioned in Saephon's thread that you had been beaten by your parents and that they made death threats to you. Based on this and some things your sister has said about her childhood, I'm fairly confident that whatever abuse you suffered changed you for the worse.
I think you have been miserable for so long that you don't know how to deal with positive emotions like love, empathy, excitement, joy, and hope. You also don't know how to act toward other people because your main role models taught you only how to intimidate, how to show anger and condescension toward others. Maybe I'm exaggerating things, but that is my impression.
I wrote a poem about you the day you were banned from GC. I won't post it here because it wasn't very good, but it was therapeutic for me. In it, I said that you'd lived in darkness for so long that you'd come to believe it was a special brand of light you'd made yourself. You think you're superior to those of us who actually enjoy the sunlight, to the point where you refuse to believe there's anything to be desired about light or warmth. Beyond that, you see those who like being in the sunglight as being weak and stupid.
I'd like to say it's not all your fault you're the way you are, but your sister also lived in the same home growing up, and she shares none of your rudeness. You are an adult, and so you can make decisions about who you are and what you do. You can go get help from a professional to deal with the mental monsters that make you what you are. Maybe you already have but haven't had success. I don't know.
Anyway, I also think you are either delusional or a compulsive liar because you can't deal with the truth: that you are damaged but still human and in pain. Instead, you'd rather believe that you are the way you are because you have a special mission and are not one of us. If that helps you feel better about yourself, it may not be entirely destructive to believe that. But if it prevents you from dealing with your pain honestly and becoming a more whole human being, I think you should ditch the fantasy immediately.
So, that's what I think.
Oh, also, when my eyes started going bad, I thought they were getting better, that the blurring I was seeing was the air particles between me and the objects I was looking at. It was nicer to believe that than to believe my eyes were weak. I was really young then, but the principle is the same: sometimes we'd rather believe that our deformities and deficiencies are actually strengths, but that doesn't mean they actually are.
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Survivor: I think that it's interesting that you can't remember any specific offenses. I find that's often the case when people turn against me, they can't remember any specific thing that I actually did wrong, just that they don't like me and want me to go away.
I think that it's interesting that you bring it up how many years after the fact on a whole other forum and expect JonBoy to be able to - or willing to, for that matter - cite chapter and verse of your offenses.
If you had a problem with what happened at Galactic Cactus, you should have discussed it with him at the time. Not two or four years later.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Survivor: How? Because I argued with Grimmer? He was always arguing with everyone anyway. Because I had a cool animated avatar? I'm sure other people made animated avatars, mine was only three frames long. Because I RP'd my mafia character? Okay, I'll admit, my role-play was way more awesome than anyone else, but isn't RP'ng the character the whole point of "themed" mafia?
I have no idea who Grimmer is, but it's safe to say that your banning had nothing to do with any of those things.
quote:I think that it's interesting that you can't remember any specific offenses. I find that's often the case when people turn against me, they can't remember any specific thing that I actually did wrong, just that they don't like me and want me to go away.
You were hurtful to my community. Once you were gone, I tried not to waste too much of my thought on you—what would be the point in remembering your list of offenses? And I'm certainly not going to gratify your pride by rereading your old posts and compiling such a list now. In fact, I'm through talking with you about it. If you want to dwell on it, I certainly can't stop you. But I'm not going to let it bother me.
Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Sorry, I would have discussed it with you all if anyone had warned me before I was banned. Like I said before, that's your decision and my character had already died, so I saw no point in contesting it (though I did have some fun at the time...um, it's okay if I say that, right?). You don't want to talk about it now, and I can see that it was a painful experience for all of you, so there is no need to rehash it. mph was right not to ask you, and I should have followed his lead.
To be fair, I didn't know how you felt about it because you never chose to attempt to discuss it with me. Or, if you did, I might have forgotten, since it was a pretty long time ago. mph shouldn't have asked me, since I only have my own memories to fall back on.
Only one of my parents ever made death threats, and it never bothered me all that much, which is probably why he felt the need to get physical so often. But I did spend a lot of time believing that I was "damaged" and needed to be "fixed". Then I found out that everyone who'd ever said this was a moron...which sometimes provokes me to act rather arrogant and prideful. Sorry.
I'm puzzled by the notion that I'm a compulsive liar, though. What part of "your species is going extinct" do you find so difficult to believe? Anyway, if you think I'm just lying about it, then ignore it, say it's completely harmless pretension for playing around on the internet or something like that. Heck, as a joke it's a funny conceit, right? So laugh it off, nobody is forcing you to take me so seriously.
I mean, it would be different if I had access to a lab full of engineered supergerms, but I don't. I don't even have anything to do with the primary species reduction method that's going to be employed (well, other than knowing a couple of things about it, but anyone that cares can find out that much). I'm an assistant. I'm not going to kill more than...well, I'm not saying any specific number, but I'm not going to wipe out humanity by myself.
And the final telophase operations are really nice. You'll even like them, if you survive that long. I agree that the initial stages are messy and rather...well, messy, but so is the day to day existence of your species as things stand now.
Oh, and for Tom. I'm already assisting. I get little metaphorical gold stars and glowing (semi-literally) performance reviews and stuff like that. So don't worry about my qualifications. I be walking the walk. Well, actually it might be more of a butt-wiggling swagger...whatever.
Anyway, keep it coming. I missed Brinestone's earlier post but her latest one was pretty good, if rather overwrought. Don't take this so seriously, folks. I'm just asking a question, I'll not extort any information if you'd really rather not tell me. It's not like the fate of your species hangs in the balance or something, I think I've made it clear that I have no authority to change a decision at that level. I don't think I'm even authorized to spare individual human lives, which kinda sucks, now that I think about it.
Posts: 763 | Registered: Aug 1999
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quote:In it, I said that you'd lived in darkness for so long that you'd come to believe it was a special brand of light you'd made yourself. You think you're superior to those of us who actually enjoy the sunlight, to the point where you refuse to believe there's anything to be desired about light or warmth. Beyond that, you see those who like being in the sunglight as being weak and stupid.
This is an idea I respect quite a bit-to be clear, the idea I think it's clear you're conveying, that this way of thinking is wrong. It's not something that's ever stated or thought so clearly by people in my experience, except in creative moments, fiction, poetry, that sort of thing, but I still think it's true: while living a life of deprivation may well make one stronger, smarter, more durable, I believe like Mal, "All you need is love," in order to be strong and fight the good fight.
He had his (much) darker moments, of course, but Mal was strong because at the bedrock of his character, he was devoted to others before himself. Whether it was a whole lot of people he'd never met, or a small group of intimate friends. Of course, the Agent was also devoted to a whole lot of people...except his devotion was in a fantasy, something that didn't exist. It's just a story, of course, but I believe that's why Mal won-that, and having that pesky nerve cluster moved Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Know what? I've decided that if my species is going to become extinct - then I'd better live it up while we're here. I'm not going to waste time worrying about it, since you're clearly not willing to give any information away as to how to avoid it. The way I see it is, if it happens - I'll be in a 'happy place' anyway...
But thanks for the heads up, Survivor.
Posts: 1355 | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Only one of my parents ever made death threats, and it never bothered me all that much, which is probably why he felt the need to get physical so often.
Highly doubtful. Extremely doubtful. Double plus doubtful, even. I'm very sorry that happened to you, Survivor, no matter what you say about its impact.
Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
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I'm not sorry about it. I...I think that it's a good thing that my dad totally deserved to have a son like me. It saves on all kinds of guilt. And I'll always treasure the time when he came in an regaled me with the story of a local chapel collapsing on top of the volunteer workers trying to fix it after a big storm. He was so happy, and so wicked, and I realized that I really do love him. Not the way a child should love a father, true, but I never really thought of him that way anyhow.
I don't know if I could have learned to love humanity, or myself, if I'd had some ideal father figure for a dad. Maybe. I'd like to believe that I'm some superbeing who could just automatically overcome all the natural obsticles between our species by virtue of my intense virtue...but I can't really buy it. Even as it was, I was always being crushed when humanity disappointed my expectations again.
It's okay for you to be flawed and inherently evil. It would be good if more of you could accept that without getting all defensive and crap, but that's part of what you are. I do worry about you, sometimes to the point of being quite silly. After all, no matter what it cost, I have learned affection for your species, with all of your peculiarities. I'm genuinely sorry that the coming time will be so difficult and involve so much suffering, but I'm also confident that this is for the best. Those who survive to the final stage will bless the fate that brought them to witness the end of humanity. And those who don't survive...we're not so wasteful as all that. I'm here, all the other assets are in place. It really will be wonderful.
Posts: 763 | Registered: Aug 1999
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I think that every forum needs a token character who talks and acts like a schizotypal coming off of a bad psilocybin trip.
Yes, yes, we know, it gets really rather chippy when the forum is blathered at intermittently by fellows who speak in an odd affect about their imaginary magical roles in important hallucinated schemes and paranoid ideation. It gets old fast, especially the latent condescension. But seriously, is it worth missing? These are the stories you tell at parties, which are very hard to come by on the internet. You can't say 'oh I had this totally awesome argument on the internet about Keynesian economics' unless you have incredibly boring friends.
BUT
what you can do is take a drag off the narjeelah, lie back, and begin spinning a tale about all the profound forms of crazy that people are willing to let loose behind the relative comforts of a computer veil. "D'ya remember that forum I talked about that had the Pelegius fellah? Well, they've brought me some new joy."
And then you start talking about Survivor. You build up the anticipation, you describe the quirks in affect, and you slowly work towards the most lurid quotes, which should be recalled verbatim. It doesn't matter if they're not completely implausible as long as it's sufficiently incredulous. And it might be an act -- there's always a chance that they're playing a game with themselves and others -- but it doesn't matter; intent is unimportant in regards to the end result, which is essentially everyone ending up thinking that they're crazy as a sack full of gerbils.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Well, like I said, Survivor: your claims about not being human, or the coming extinction, or not being bothered by death threats from your father, all that other nonsense, I'm still sorry your he was awful. Perhaps someday you'll be able to get past that, and perhaps not. I don't know. But I'm still sorry, I still grieve that it happened, and I'm sorry that as a result your perceptions of life and humanity have become so twisted.
Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
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It started out kind of interesting, in a megalomania/conspiracy theory sort of way, but the details really aren't that interesting, and the megalomania has gotten rather boring and trite.
Should have quit while you were ahead. Sorry Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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Crud, I lost a really long reply I was putting together with a lot of quotes from various people. Well, I guess I still have this one.
quote:I'm on this planet to assist in the extinction of your species pursuant to making it a fit habitation for truly sentient life. Is that sufficiently clear?
I actually find this quite reassuring.
Nice as I supposedly am, I'd let a few brainfarts over the years that you'd think were going to burn this place down, the way people reacted. When we focus on the most ill-considered thing anyone has ever done, of course they are going to seem like a devil.
quote:Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. -James 2:19
In much the same way real people can act as angels in the lives of others, I know I have been a devil at times. Anytime I am acting of myself and not under the headship of the Lord, I am a devil.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Fall. A young man in the park plays a game, he’s brought his chess pieces. A gust upsets the pawns of his endgame, pigeons pirouette, implacably, one must destroy oneself to end the game: September’s nostalgia for everyone back in their places, the park full of emptiness and your hair you should've cut spidering shadows over the squares, but first to end games.
Because the natural man is an enemy to God. Man, being evil, cannot do that which is good, and because of the fall of our natures have become evil continually.
I know you (Tom) don't believe all that, though. I guess the part where I explained that a devil is nothing more than a spirit that pridefully resists the rule of God didn't make it into my final draft. You have to understand that my definition of evil is almost entirely pride.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I think I'd say that wickedness was almost entirely a matter of pride. Evil doesn't require such a personal characteristic. It's even a common phrase, "impersonal evil". When did you ever hear of "impersonal wickedness", though?
Something can be evil, or at least an evil, without having any qualities of ego as we understand it. But wickedness seems very much like an egotistical thing. Even looking at the roots of the words, "wicked" comes from "witch" and "evil" comes from...uh, not good enough, or something like that
Like I know off the top of my head.
It isn't like chess, where you can just figure out where all the pieces were. It's English, where the pieces could have come from anywhere and might mean the exact opposite of the original word.
Posts: 763 | Registered: Aug 1999
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But it is like chess in that the meaning and power of a piece has to do with its properties as well as its situation. Only it would be like a really big chess game where pieces from prior games get left on the table and the ghosts of dead pieces haunt the squares of their demise.
quote:O.E. yfel (Kentish evel) "bad, vicious," from P.Gmc. *ubilaz (cf. O.Saxon ubil, Goth. ubils), from PIE *upelo-, giving the word an original sense of "uppity, overreaching bounds" which slowly worsened. "In OE., as in all the other early Teut. langs., exc. Scandinavian, this word is the most comprehensive adjectival expression of disapproval, dislike or disparagement" [OED]. Evil was the word the Anglo-Saxons used where we would use bad, cruel, unskillful, defective (adj.), or harm, crime, misfortune, disease. The meaning "extreme moral wickedness" was in O.E., but did not become the main sense until 18c. Evil eye (L. oculus malus) was O.E. eage yfel.
Checkout BAD. Gives a whole new meaning to the song.
quote:bad Look up bad at Dictionary.com 1203, mystery word, no apparent relatives in other languages. Possibly from two related O.E. derogatory terms: bæddel and bædling "effeminate man, hermaphrodite, pederast." Originally "defective, inferior;" sense of "evil, morally depraved" is first recorded 1300. A rare word before 1400, and evil was more common until 1700. Ironic use as a word of approval is said to be at least since 1890s orally, originally in Black Eng., emerging in print 1928 in a jazz context. Badder, baddest were used as recently as Defoe (18c.), but yielded to comp. worse and superl. worst (taken over from evil, ill), from P.Gmc. *wersizon, comp. of *wers-.
I never got around to the various things I wanted to do in this thread, because people started asking me who I was rather than saying who they thought I was. Tsk tsk. Still, I've been reading the thread and there's some really fun stuff here. I particularly liked the "choice irony" posts, like:
quote:I don't know who pissed in your little world, but if this in any way resembles what passes for thought for you, they deserve a cookie.
God himself waits until we are dead before passing judgment on us.
Too bad you haven't been able to follow his lead on that.
That one was particularly good. I wish it were a bit shorter, cause then it could be a cool sig. Unfortunately, it seems that a lot of people who did have opinions didn't give them for various reasons. Oh well. I suppose that seeing how some of the opinions made their posters look might have scared people off.
So, how about opinions based on Chiu Chun-Ling over at Ornery? Or are there many people that have ever heard of me there?
As a last resort, you can post a guess as to what other membername I've used on this forum. That could be a fun game.
Posts: 763 | Registered: Aug 1999
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Oh, I'm afraid I already mentioned that on the "Hatrack Gossip Thread" at sakeriver. Sorry. I was simply saying there was nothing worrying to me about your posts, and mentioned that as a historical referent.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Survivor, you seem singularly unable or unwilling to understand that people are not just going to start dancing because you've called a tune. Such as guessing what other member names you've held in the past. That's only fun for you. We're not here so you can have fun.
Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Oh...well, anyone else is free to try guessing...I guess the people that have been around that long pretty much all know about sakeriver, huh?
I guess I've found out most of what I came here to find out. I'm still open for questions, within the limitations placed on revealing my sources, methods, or future activities.
One thing that might be interesting...so far almost all the posters to this thread have assumed that I must be either lying, or insane. Is it really so hard to examine the third possibility, that I might be telling the truth? What evidence do any of you have that I'm not? I'd honestly be interested in finding out about it.
Posts: 763 | Registered: Aug 1999
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