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What are your feelings about this Hallmark Holiday? I personally don't like it at all. It just pressures couples to do something extra, and if they don't, they get in trouble with their partner. For those who don't have someone in their life, it's just another reminder that they're alone. Plus, I never trust any holiday created by a card company.
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The only benefit I can see; it gives otherwise timid people an excuse to express their feelings about someone without bringing too much attention to themselves.
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I personally like V-day... it gives us another excuse to take loved ones out to dinner and a movie :) my wife and I started dating valentine's day in 2004, so the day has served me well :)
Posts: 142 | Registered: Feb 2006
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I think Holidays in general are fun. They give us an excuse to celebrate and enjoy. I happen to like Valentine's Day. Admittedly, this particular holiday is more fun when you have a signifant other. But even though I'm currently single, I still plan on getting together with single friends and enjoying the day.
Posts: 1947 | Registered: Aug 2002
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I don't celebrate or recognise this holiday.
True story, one of my most mortifying and traumatic childhood experiences revolves around Valentines Day.
In first grade, my teacher had us all bring in shoeboxes to decorate and turn into Valentines mailboxes. Then we were supposed to make valentines cards and put them in our friends's mailboxes. The point, explained the teacher, was to see who in our class was the "most loved."
I wanted to be the most loved. I was lovable, wasn't I?
So, I made lots and lots of valentines cards and stuffed my own mailbox with them. The teacher discovered my deception, and mocked me in front of the class. "Someone loves herself best of all!" "She loves herself and no one else!"
I mean, I was just a little kid, and she made me feel very small. She also threw out all the cards that were in my box (the ones I made and the ones other people put in), and sent a note home to my parents.
I recognise now that she was hateful and inappropriate, but at the time, I idolized my first grade teacher, and I was completely crushed.
I'm not a big fan of the holiday. And I do hope that they don't do this any more in elementary schools. Believe me, the kids are painfully aware of who is popular and who is not. They don't need a graphic reminder at the front of the classroom.
::wipes away a tear::
(OK, I was kidding about the tear)
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I choose to celebrate thw fact that February 14th is Arizona Statehood Day. Arizona became a state on February 14th, 1912.
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And you are very lovable! We all know that! (((The Shvester)))
Now let me ask: Has anyone ever seen me hug someone on Hatrack before? Hasn't happened. Must be Valentine's day magic.
But seriously, I think of Valentine's day as a sort of Great American Smokeout for people who need a little extra push to ask that someone for a date when they don't have enough confidence to do it by themselves. Yes it's risky, but if you spend all your time worrying about the risk, you might never ask.
(crossing my fingers for my son's sake this Valentine's day)
Posts: 3735 | Registered: Mar 2002
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At my grade school, if you were going to bring valentines for a few people at school, you had to bring valentines for everyone in your class. That way, horrible situations like Tante's were avoided. I always looked forward to the date, since the non-slacker kids (or their moms) made valentines with awesome candy or cookies or whatever.
Now I look forward to the date for other, slightly more mature, reasons.
Although boy, was it nasty when Abhi asked me to come over to his place on V-day, and watch a movie and have some pizza, with no context on what, exactly, the invitation meant. Was it just the hanging out of two friends? Was it a date? Did I want it to be a date? What if he thought it was a date, but then I didn't act date-ish enough, so he decided it wasn't a date, even though I maybe wanted it to be a date?
Moral of the story, boys: when you extend any sort of invitation to a single girl to do something on Valentine's Day, make it clear whether it's a date or not. We tend to overthink these things.
Posts: 2409 | Registered: Sep 2003
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I kind of like Valentines day. For the majority of my Valentine Days I've been alone, but it didn't really bother me. I just figured "One day, I'm going to really really enjoy this holiday, even if its not today". I could never bring myself to wish ill to it because I had a feeling I'd be enjoying it immensely eventually.
And I was right.
(ahem ... I know you're going to be reading this, so you still need to tell me what you want. Have pity on a guy )
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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I think Valentine's Day is great! I personally can't be told I'm loved too often. I want to be lavished with affection 365 days a year, actually, but 1 day is better than none.
So what are some good ideas for thoughtful Valentines presents?
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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I like Valentine's Day. Actually, I like just about any excuse to come up with cute gifts for my boyfriend. My friend and I made gel candles with roses inside.
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But Jhai, it worked out, right? Maybe it was partly because he was ambiguous about the date-nature of the invitation.
Posts: 1810 | Registered: Jan 1999
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I'm in the category of timid guys that uses Valentine's Day to tell girls I like them when normally I wouldn't. It also never works. But it's fun.
Posts: 1314 | Registered: Jan 2006
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Heh. Anyone remember last Valentines Day when I made that mayfly about "building a cake", a la Napoleon Dynamite, to ask a girl to a Valentines Banquet? Memories ...
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The thing that is weird to me is people talking about "an excuse" to do nice/romantic things.
I don't need an excuse to do these things. I love doing them. I love seeing the look of joy on my girlfriend's face when I do something nice for her, especially something that she didn't expect. Yesterday, I snuck roses into her place and set them up in vase on her kitchen counter where she found them about 30 minutes later. And that was great. I try to make her feel as special as she is whenever I can and this sometimes takes the form of doing silly/romantic things for her or buying little gifts or treating her to something when the whim strikes me.
I don't need an excuse for this. And I sure as heck don't need an obligation to do it, which is what Valentine's day is to me. If I didn't want to do these things, setting aside a day where I have to is just going to piss me off. Because I want to do them, Valentine's Day just robs them of a lot of the meaning because I'm obligated to do them. So I don't celebrate it. Given a choice between a guy who does these things at random points during the year and one who does them only on February 14th, I've yet to meet a girl who prefers the latter.
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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I agree with you, Squick, but I've met a whole lot of guys who said the same thing and then never did the romantic things the rest of the year. (Not saying you don't. I'm sure you do. I'm just saying, for other's benefit, that you can't say 'Hey, that's a great idea, I'm going to do that, too!" and then not follow through.)
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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My boyfriend and I do sweet, romantic things for one another year-round. But it's nice to have something to celebrate. We gave each other gifts at Halloween, even. He's mailed me cards before (we've never been long-distance) and not even mentioned them until they finally came in the mail. He leaves random notes all over the house for me to find later (especially when I'm not feeling well). This isn't my first arts and crafts gift project; I randomly made him a leather bracelet with our initials on it, as well as an adorable hat that he wears all the time. But I fail to see how celebrating Valentine's Day takes away from any of those things.
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My mother curses Valentine's day every year. Another 26 Valentines to make and name.
Back in England we celebrated too, but there was no official school thing. You gave valentines to your friends and you went home. It wasn't such a big deal. I do not remember counting my Valentines.
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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In my kids' school, the teachers tell you how many people are in the class, then you bring that many valentines with no names on them, other than yours - you sign them so they know who they're from but don't fill in the "To:" section.
Then you put one in everybody's box or bag or whatever, and that way they know they got one from you, but by not having them addressed, it eliminates anybody getting left out. Theoretically.
I always send extra, just so there's plenty. I don't want any kid to ever feel left out. What happened to Tante was awful.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote:Originally posted by erosomniac: My thoughts on Valentine's Day are simple: if you like it, celebrate it.
If you don't, for heaven's sake, don't whine about it.
If only it were that simple.
You have to make sure that your honey also doesn't like it before you can safely choose to not celebrate it.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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This is the day I remember that all my roommates have loving, caring boyfriends, and I don't even have friends at this school. I'd like to date. I really would. But I just don't... meet people.
So come Tuesday, I'll be alone in the room, studying and playing video games. * sigh *
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An excuse to cook a special dinner, eat chocolate, go out to eat, dress my kids up in cute themed clothing? Love it. Not so much into big gifts or store-bought cards, though.
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Boon
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quote:Originally posted by Tinros: So come Tuesday, I'll be alone in the room, studying and playing video games. * sigh *
Umm...did I miss something? What happens Tuesday?
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I hand out valentines to everyone still - a friend and I are getting together to label all our valentines probably tomorrow for everyone in the department. It's just something nice to do - I certainly don't have any grand romantic plans. I use Valentine's Day as a way to remember everyone, even if I forget about them most of the rest of the time.
Posts: 3932 | Registered: Sep 1999
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quote:Originally posted by Tinros: Happy Single's Awareness day, everyone.
You in Japan there's White Day, when the men reciprocate for the women. According to wikipedia, it was invented by marshmallow and white chocolate companies.
Posts: 1762 | Registered: Apr 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Tinros: Happy Single's Awareness day, everyone.
This is the day I remember that all my roommates have loving, caring boyfriends, and I don't even have friends at this school. I'd like to date. I really would. But I just don't... meet people.
So come Tuesday, I'll be alone in the room, studying and playing video games. * sigh *
quote:I agree with you, Squick, but I've met a whole lot of guys who said the same thing and then never did the romantic things the rest of the year. (Not saying you don't. I'm sure you do. I'm just saying, for other's benefit, that you can't say 'Hey, that's a great idea, I'm going to do that, too!" and then not follow through.)
It may just be me, but I'd have major trouble appreciating romantic gestures that I (and society) basically forced on someone. If the guy doesn't want to do it, do girls still really enjoy it? Is it really not the thought that counts? Or have they just gotten good at convincing themselves that the guy is being sincere?
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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Maybe the act of love is not the flowers, but getting her the flowers despite not caring for the holiday.
In other words, no convincing needed. He thinks it is dumb, but he loves her and she doesn't, so he gets her flowers and they make her happy. I think someone has to very unselfish and sweet to think about his partner instead of himself.
Boycotting it without the enthusiastic consent of one's partner or else giving a gift begrudgingly is horribly self-centered.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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I think I like it. This will be the first time in my life I'll spend it with someone on the actual day. Last year I was still in Dallas, and before that I seemed to ahve a lot of breakups in January.
We set a dollar limit on the presents because we both just sunk a great deal of money into the cars, but I'm making dinner with his favorite foods and I have a new dress to wear. I think it will be great.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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quote: I think someone has to very unselfish and sweet to think about his partner instead of himself.
See, and I think that this part is kind of telling. The situation could quite easily be framed the other way.
Maybe it is terribly selfish of me to not spend premium prices for gifts for a holiday I really have problems with and instead do little romantic things throughout the year. I have to wonder about the flip-side of that though. Isn't it at least as selfish for the girl to essentially force me into something I really have problems with? Why is it only the girl's feelings that are important in your formulation, kat?
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Plus, take a poll of guys who don't want to do V-day stuff, but do anyway, and I think you'll find "Because she'll get pissed at me." is at least as common a motivation as "Because it means a lot to her." Is wanting to avoid a fight a sweet motivation? For that matter, do you think that a girl is justified in getting angry if her boyfriend doesn't meet her baseline expectations for this?
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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I dislike Valentine's Day. I feel terrible anxiety about obligated gifts. I feel like I'm being pulled up on the stage and ordered "Be funny and clever, NOW!"
Although this year I have something cool to do, so I feel very little anxiety. It's not something that I came up with on my own, though, which makes me kinda lame.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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I like having a set holiday to be all counterculture against (while enjoying the specials on chocolate). We have a running gag where I whine at David, "But you haven't gotten me any dyyya-monnds, where are my dyyya-monds?" and then he threatens to drag me to Jared's.
"He went to Jared's." "He went to Jared's."
And I threaten to kick him in the nuts if he drags me to some "Galleria of Jewelry." It's fun.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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A Valentine's Day card I would buy in a heartbeat would show the Hallmark logo with bullet holes in it, along with a tommygun--in memory of Al Capone's St. Valentine's Day Massacre, since that is about the only notable thing that ever happened on February 14. (My apologies to anyone whose birthday might be Feb. 14.)
Posts: 3742 | Registered: Dec 2001
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quote:Although this year I have something cool to do, so I feel very little anxiety.
That's half the battle of ANY romance. Spontaneity is over-rated, especially if you're on a tight budget.
It's completely okay for HER to think you're spontaneous, though. If she likes that sort of thing. Finding out what she wants is 3/4 of the other half of the romance. The last fourth is doing it.
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Oh, baloney, Squickie. It's an impersonal pronoun.
If someone is doing nice things for their partner only because they don't want to "get in trouble" or have someone mad at them, rather than because they know it will make the other person happy, then yeah...I can see how a day dedicated to love would make them uncomfortable.
quote:For that matter, do you think that a girl is justified in getting angry if her boyfriend doesn't meet her baseline expectations for this?
No. Expressions of love should be happily given and seen as a gift every time. No one is OWED an expression of love - it's always a gift.
That's why if it is given begrudgingly it is so crappy. Come on - there's no gun to your head. If you don't want to, you don't have to. I think someone can be SAD that they didn't get anything, but not angry.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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kat, You keep on discounting the guy's, and specifically my, perspective. I'll repeat.
quote:Maybe it is terribly selfish of me to not spend premium prices for gifts for a holiday I really have problems with and instead do little romantic things throughout the year. I have to wonder about the flip-side of that though. Isn't it at least as selfish for the girl to essentially force me into something I really have problems with? Why is it only the girl's feelings that are important in your formulation, kat?
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quote:I can see how a day dedicated to love would make them uncomfortable.
I don't think Valentine's day as it is commonly practiced is dedicated to love as much as it is to consumerism and presents.
At best, I think you could say that this is "romance". I'd still disagree, but whatever.
Love, in my perspective, doesn't work as a something that can have a day dedicated to it. Love is a constant quality. It is in part the confusion of love with the "romance" of V-day, especially the cosumerist definitions cultivated by card and flower and jewelry companies that makes me really dislike the cultural conception of the day.
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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quote:No one is OWED an expression of love - it's always a gift.
I disagree. On Valentine's Day, expressions of love are excpected. Roses and chocolate are the baseline.
Unfortunately, not doing anything for your honey on VDay will usually be interpreted as is an expression of not-love.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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