posted
Squicky, think whatever you want. It's clear to everyone else what I meant. I can only explain slowly and in small words so many times.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
Again, I urge you to read my posts without the dirt-colored glasses. You'll be so much happier and you'll have a truer look at reality.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
So, you have if a guy doesn't want to do Valentine's, his girlfriend does, they talk about it and compromise, which involves them not doing it and the girlfriend being disappointed by this, then the guy is not necessarily self-centered?
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
That depends - what else does it involve? Do all their compromises end up with her being dissapointed? Is he deeply, religiously opposed or he is just lazy? Does he often withold affection?
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
Tiffany got her big ticket presents for her birthday Feb 5th. For VD, she gets a sweet poem of my own composition and a coupon that allows her to get her hair done at that $80 hair salon place she wants to go to.
My wallet has taken a SEVERE beating and its only the 2nd month of the year
She better leave me alone until our 1 year wedding anniversary in July, that's all I gotta say.
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If all the rest of us guys have to suffer through Valentines Day, so does Mr. Hypothetical. Man doesn't pick up his lady love something, he deserves to be stung to death by fire ants. That's my final word.
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quote:That depends - what else does it involve? Do all their compromises end up with her being dissapointed? Is he deeply, religiously opposed or he is just lazy? Does he often withold affection?
It's a simple yes or no question. You've basically said yes.
The bizarre withhold affection thing popped up, though. I feel like there's a story there.
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
As you have described the situation, then no - because it's not a compromise. She's disspointed, and...that's it. She's dissapointed, and he gets to do nothing for her.
posted
Read it again. I didn't describe the entire compromise, just the parts salient to your earlier statement:
quote:Boycotting it without the enthusiastic consent of one's partner or else giving a gift begrudgingly is horribly self-centered.
Bascially, he was boycotting it without the enthusiastic consent of his partner, but as the result of, as I said a compromise that, as I said
quote:may include her accepting some disappointment because they don't do what she wants, but that it is better for them in the long run or more fair or maybe it is just his turn.
posted
To further explicate, I've set the bar pretty dang low. If he is pissily refusing to step over it because his wacked-up principles include not making his sweetheart feel loved when she wants it, and then extracts a concession from her that she isn't happy about, then he is being very selfish.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
Squicky, you are welcome to work out whatever compromise you want. Don't take my assessment of someone who takes it his frustration at card companies out on his sweetheart personally. I am not talking about you. I am talking about the hypothetical person.
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kat, I'll ask you again to at least try to keep a civil tone. One might also expect that if you ask for a certain consideration, you would extend that to others.
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I'm going to stay out of the arguement here, but try to at least state my views on V-Day. The same goes for most holidays for me. A holiday is meaningless, unless it is Mother's or Father's day. Those are the only two that I celebrate, even though I only go home for Father's day.
My mom and I don't have much in common for activities, so i take her out to dinner when I go home for a week or two arounf Father's day. My treat.
For Father's day I take dad to the race and have a blast. This also means that the rest of the family moves Father's day up a couple days so that we can all be together, but it usually works out really well doing this.
Would I see it differently if I had someone? Probably not. Would I show any more affection for a S.O. just because of that day? Why? If I love someone so much as a life partner, I should not make one single day more important than the rest. Every day is important.
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Maybe the act of love is not the flowers, but getting her the flowers despite not caring for the holiday.
In other words, no convincing needed. He thinks it is dumb, but he loves her and she doesn't, so he gets her flowers and they make her happy. I think someone has to very unselfish and sweet to think about his partner instead of himself.
Boycotting it without the enthusiastic consent of one's partner or else giving a gift begrudgingly is horribly self-centered.
I still stand by this, which I just realized what THREE PAGES AGO. OH MY STARS. This has so not been worth it. Anyway.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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quote:Would I show any more affection for a S.O. just because of that day? Why? If I love someone so much as a life partner, I should not make one single day more important than the rest. Every day is important.
Maybe because that day is more important to her than the rest.
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I don't think I've ever taken cheap little shots at anyone here, ever and I'd ask if you are going to accuse me of this that you present some sort of evidence.
Then in this thread, he said:
quote:The bizarre withhold affection thing popped up, though. I feel like there's a story there.
I'm having a hard time reconciling these statements.
I'd love to have a Hatrack without Squick and Kat feeling the need to nip each other's noses.
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When someone keeps on bringing up a non-sequitor, it puzzles me. That's all I was expressing. I don't even see how that could be saeen as an attack.
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
I can agree with you there mph. However, as a comprimise I would ask that I at least not have to make some big show of it. Sounds like I am backing out of what I said, but I do know what a comprimise is.
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I want you and kat to stop scratching at each other.
The two of you need to come to grips with the way that your behavior is damaging the community. Any time the two of you are together in the same thread, you fight. Every. Freaking. Time.
That ain't normal.
Have a taquito, and a time out.
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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posted
What Scott said. I went away a few hours ago, and I came back and said, wow, two more pages, what are people talking about? I was about to throw a little "stop fighting" tantrum, but it looks like things have chilled for the past 20 minutes or so.
If not, we might have to start in on clementines again here. Or taquitos, which are also yummy, and not seasonal.
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Would I show any more affection for a S.O. just because of that day? Why? If I love someone so much as a life partner, I should not make one single day more important than the rest. Every day is important.
Maybe because that day is more important to her than the rest.
Does that mean you also wouldn't celebrate her birthday? Or your anniversary?
posted
What? How in the world did you pull that out of my post? I think you've severely misunderstood my post.
I celebrate VDay with my wife.
I suggested a reason to treat VDay differently than any other day -- because perhaps his (hypothetical) honey doesn't view it as just any other day.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
Scott R, just warning you, you may want to run now. My husband's not going to be happy when he finds out that you are the one that started my taquito craving.
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Believe me I had to learn to discipline my "habit of making impulsive buying decisions," when I got married. Now I have promptly learned to set aside all that money and put it in the, "Spoil my Spouse" fund.
Its a step in the right direction, but its not the end ideal Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Heart-shaped taquitos? Difficult. I did, however, make heart-shaped eggplant parmesan once. (It was for a Break-The-Fast with a V-day theme where we were all supposed to bring foods that were either pink, red, or heart-shaped in some way. I drew main dish-- I think everyone was glad that the two of us who drew main dish were the ones who could cook-- and so I brought that because it was fun, yummy, vegetarian, and both heart-shaped and red-- the sauce was red, anyway.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Okay--I want any kind of eggplant parmesan. However, I just had dinner, so I will supress the urge to run down to my local pizzeria w/ the yummy eggplant parmesan.
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Taquitos are sort of like taco's but they're the little rolled up ones, right? Or am I way off?
Posts: 1355 | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Goody Scrivener: KQ? Are you hanging out on my stitching boards?
No...
On a couple of the sttiching boards I hang out on, we have a running... um... slang with regard to steak. And it fits rather well with the other half.
Posts: 4515 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Yep - thanks rivka... That's what I was thinking of.
What if they were made from scratch?? Then you could do the heart shape... then throw some salsa with a little bit of sour cream in the middle of the heart... Or am I getting ahead of myself? : )
Posts: 1355 | Registered: Jul 2006
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You're right, Scott. I'm sorry. I swear, I'm going to put an "Ignore Squicky" post-it on my computer. Talking to him isn't good for Hatrack.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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quote:Scott R, just warning you, you may want to run now. My husband's not going to be happy when he finds out that you are the one that started my taquito craving.
I ain't a-skeered of him.
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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posted
I like the way we're doing Valentine's Day. Because neither of us is really into holidays, we figure we'll just go out to dinner. After all, we go out to dinner on normal days.
Posts: 866 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by rivka: Wouldn't trying to bend them into a shape squeeze out most of the filling?
Yes. Also, they are prone to breakage as it is, WITHOUT trying to bend them. And if they break, you're screwed, because they don't hold together and don't fry well.
quote:Originally posted by Goody Scrivener: KQ? Are you hanging out on my stitching boards?
No...
On a couple of the sttiching boards I hang out on, we have a running... um... slang with regard to steak. And it fits rather well with the other half.
Ah. No, I was laughing because we're having steak for dinner tomorrow and, well. None of anyone's business.
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