I took my mother to the hospital today. She's been sick for a while, and finally let me take her in. I'm not comfortable with the details being posted online, but she went in for emergency surgery early this afternoon. I'm not a doctor, but I recognised the words they were using, and they were not good words - not horrible, panic-inducing words, but scary ones.
I'm being the strong one right now. My siblings don't recognise how serious things are, and my dad is having enough trouble himself and I can't make that worse. I just want to talk to someone. One of the nurses this morning was excellent and I couldn't ask for better, but since she went off shift, people have been more close. If I could email, I'd really appreciate it.
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I can't really help with medical advice, but I'm free to talk by e-mail if you want. Address in the profile. (((EL)))
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Thanks, guys. I managed to get hold of a medico-in-training friend in real life (my oldest and best friend, too boot), and being the wonderful person she is, she dropped everything and we had a long talk. I also had a cry, which helped a bit.
I'm a bit more comfortable now. What she thought was a really bad flu was actually a double-perforated bowel which had gone necrotic and then she went septic. This was unrecognised and thus untreated for 10-11 days, which didn't help. The surgery was long, but went as well as could be expected, and while she was in rough shape coming out of the OR, by the time they let us see her in ICU, her kidneys had stabilised, at least.
I'm scared, so very scared. My mom is not old at all. She's got tubes all everywhere. She's very, very sick. I finally came home, and I'll be going back in tomorrow to make sure nothing in her med history got overlooked in the shuffle. I hope she's more responsive then, because that will help both her and us.
She's tough. She's a fighter. But I am still a little girl who's terrified for her mommy.
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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The morning report is that she's stabilising further, is awake and alert. She can't talk because of tubes, but she wrote my dad a note to pay the credit card bill, so really, that's excellent.
I'm being pretty optimistic. This is gonna be rough, but at least we can breathe some. I've been told that if I hadn't taken her in yesterday, it likely would have been too late. That scares me a lot, but I'm SO relieved I did take her in.
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So... blood pressure stabilised just in time for her to get pneumonia. Still scary, sadly. Things like this happen on tv, not to real people, not to my mom.
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Well, she's still in ICU. They've been hoping for days to get her off the breathing tube and onto her trusty old CPAP, but no luck. She's mostly breathing on her own now, but the CPAP wasn't getting her enough oxygen when they tried yesterday.
I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed. My mom has always been the rudder and sail of the house. We're all pitching in, but we're just muddling along as best we can. My grandma comes tomorrow night, so everything is going to go up another gear for two weeks or so. Hopefully we can manage it.
I'm going to be a bit more assertive, for my own sanity's sake. My dad is doing his best, but he does things in a very different style, and doesn't even realise it's not the style everyone's used to. I know my own methods aren't, either, but I've got to have something familiar, some sort of rhythm I recognise, or I will get less and less functional. Step one, tomorrow: grocery shopping.
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Grocery shopping is a good thing. A little normality -- plus having food around is generally a good thing.
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I told you over at pweb, but I'm happy to hear it, babe. It's been a long, tough road for you. I'm sure it's nice to see some progress.
Posts: 161 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Thanks, all. I went in to see her today and it was so great to see her smile and mouth "Love you." The breathing tube (and suction thingy) was definitely the scariest-looking thing and the thing she hated the most. She's so much more comfortable just having a mask. Hopefully things will move a little bit quicker now, but even if we continue to just plod along, having the tube out is amazing. She's also free to move her arms around more, since she doesn't have any tube to try to rip out. She can also communicate her needs more easily - all in all, her comfort level has gotten so much greater.
She's pretty cranky because her muscles have atrophied quite a bit in the nearly three weeks she's been in the hospital, and the week and a half bedridden before that. But the important thing is she is going to be okay. Everything else can be worked on, but she is alive and on the mend.
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Today I visited after work and ended up staying to talk for more than four hours. It was pure awesomeness. I really, really miss her hugs. We talked about pretty much everything, and she can't wait to finish getting better and get home. She figures as soon as she can walk again they'll let her go home. In pursuit of that, she's doing her physio exercises devotedly, and today she stood up! We'll be getting a home care nurse for her for a while when she comes home, till everything settles properly.
Thank you everyone who offered prayers or well-wishes. Thank you so very much.
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Grandma's in ICU. Fortunately, no surgery (yet). Unfortunately, kidneys, heart rate, and blood pressure: not good. I'm really tired of this.
Edit: I just ate a bowl of Cool Whip. It doesn't help anything, but it makes me feel a little happier. Whatever that means. What a year. DEFINITELY the most dramatic year I've ever had. It can stop now, please.
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So the update on grandma is no update. She's a little more stable, but in horrible full-body pain. She's pretty much morphine-ated, because whenever she comes to, she is moaning with pain. They're hoping tomorrow her kidneys are stable enough to do a CT scan. We're playing a waiting game.
The last thing that happened before she got really sick was we went out to the thrift store together and had a great evening. I hope that's not my last memory of spending time with her, but if it is, it's a very good memory. I want her to stick around, though. She's my very last grandparent, and I love her.
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She's doing better-ish, it seems. She can talk again and she's more alert and in a lot less pain. They've moved her to a regular ward. It looks like she's going to be in for a few more days, and then she is going back to her nursing home. We're all kind of bummed because she's missed the surgery she was going to have to get her sight back. But, that can be rescheduled, and she's alive, which is the most important thing.
On the plus side, it seems that ambulance transport is available from one medical place to another, and grandma's nursing home seems to count. She'll be more comfortable travelling that way, to be sure.
So my family is intact, no one else shows any signs of needing emergency medical attention, and hopefully I can retire this thread in a couple weeks when my mom gets home (she is now walking a few feet at a time!).
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Mum's now come down with a hospital-variety staph infection. Treatable, and she's not in any huge danger, but annoying. She's not fond of all the vomiting. Just one more step, I guess. Despite that, she's getting stronger, and can now walk a little more.
Grandma is doing well-ish. She's not great, but then her health never really is. She's getting a ride on helicopter-ambulance back to her home tomorrow. I'm really glad we had the evening out together that we did, and I'm looking forward to seeing her later this summer when I'm in her area.
Life is slowly, slowly approaching normality.
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