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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Speaking of embarrassingly bad, unoriginal movies coming out... (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Speaking of embarrassingly bad, unoriginal movies coming out...
Kelly
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[Wall Bash]
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mr_porteiro_head
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Wow. My esteem of Jason Lee is plummeting.
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FlyingCow
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Oh, I thought you were talking about Alvin and the Chipmunks
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BlackBlade
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What is she talking about? I can't decipher the graemlin enough to figure it out.
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mr_porteiro_head
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The graemlin is a link.

I was also talking about the Chipmunks movie.

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Jon Boy
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Why? WHY?!

The worst part is that you know it won't stop. There are plenty of old cartoons and toys that will provide fuel for Hollywood hacks for years to come.

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FlyingCow
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We need a Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors movie next. [Big Grin]

Though they'll likely mine Smurfs, Snorks, Gummi Bears, My Little Pony, Carebears, and Fraggle Rock first.

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mr_porteiro_head
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The real fuel for such dreck comes from the wallets of people who go to see those movies.
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Megan
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quote:
Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head:
Wow. My esteem of Jason Lee is plummeting.

I agree. It makes me really sad, too, because I actually think he's very talented and usually quite fun to watch. [Frown]
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Jon Boy
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I wanted to cry the other day when I saw this list.
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Xaposert
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If you think Underdog looks embarrassingly bad, I can show you a movie that looks almost infinitely worse.

But then again, who knows... Let's keep in mind that one of the best movies of the past five years was based on a theme park ride.

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Nighthawk
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Why are you criticizing this movie? You haven't seen it yet, so...

Er...

Um...

Yeah, it's gonna suck, I guess.

But it has a cute dog! Look just like mine!

*EDIT*: Actually, is that a Beagle?

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Puffy Treat
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quote:
Originally posted by FlyingCow:
Though they'll likely mine...Fraggle Rock first.

Given that Fraggle Rock is one of the very few Muppet projects still owned by the Henson company, they've greenlit Fraggle Rock the Movie, with an expected holiday of 2009 release date.

Mixed emotions on that. Fraggle Rock was a series that had a definite beginning, middle, and end. There were no loose threads left after Jim Henson brought it to a conclusion.

It had better be one heck of a good story.

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El JT de Spang
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http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/07/04
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Nighthawk
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quote:
Originally posted by Jon Boy:
I wanted to cry the other day when I saw this list.

Old list, it seems... At least two of those are already in progress.
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erosomniac
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quote:
Originally posted by Jon Boy:
I wanted to cry the other day when I saw this list.

Macross could easily hold a movie, and has--several good ones.

If they ever make a Thundercats movie, though, I'm going to go on a murderous rampage.

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Puffy Treat
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Because Thundercats sucked. We might as well admit it: It's one of those things you like when you were a kid...but unlike Tex Avery, Jay Ward, or Osamu Tezuka cartoons, it turns out to be garbage once you get older. [Smile]
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Kelly
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quote:
Originally posted by Xaposert:
If you think Underdog looks embarrassingly bad, I can show you a movie that looks almost infinitely worse.

But then again, who knows... Let's keep in mind that one of the best movies of the past five years was based on a theme park ride.

And we thought just the dolls were bad.

[Frown]

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BlackBlade
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quote:
Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head:
The graemlin is a link.

Yeegads! You are right! I did not know you could do that.
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Nighthawk
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quote:
If they ever make a Thundercats movie, though, I'm going to go on a murderous rampage.
Lock and load
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Jim-Me
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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly:
quote:
Originally posted by Xaposert:
If you think Underdog looks embarrassingly bad, I can show you a movie that looks almost infinitely worse.

But then again, who knows... Let's keep in mind that one of the best movies of the past five years was based on a theme park ride.

And we thought just the dolls were bad.

[Frown]

From IMDB's plot synopis:
"This plot synopsis is empty."

How appropos.

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Synesthesia
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quote:
Originally posted by Puffy Treat:
Because Thundercats sucked. We might as well admit it: It's one of those things you like when you were a kid...but unlike Tex Avery, Jay Ward, or Osamu Tezuka cartoons, it turns out to be garbage once you get older. [Smile]

This is depressingly true. I was so enthusiastic about Thundercats in elementary school, but when I was in college and I made the mistake of watching an episode on Cartoon network...
Anime spoiled me. Especially Miyazaki, which I should watch now, as Miyazaki= love [Kiss]

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Kelly
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quote:
Originally posted by El JT de Spang:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/07/04

It's funny, because I've never heard of that character before, so before I scrolled down I thought it might be The Gummi Bears [Angst]

[ July 09, 2007, 05:17 PM: Message edited by: Kelly ]

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Nighthawk
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quote:
Originally posted by Jim-Me:

"This plot synopsis is empty."

How appropos.

Wait, wait, wait... Movies need plot?!?
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Shigosei
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I saw the Underdog and Bratz trailers when I saw Ratatouille. I was so grateful that I was about to watch a Pixar movie and not crap like those.

On the other hand, some of the trailers before POTC actually looked kinda good. Enchanted in particular seems to have potential.

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brojack17
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The kids will like it. Of course, they are 3 & 5. This reminds me of Garfield. A great comic strip ruined by the movie business.

Maybe I don't want an EG movie after all. [Smile]

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BlackBlade
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My sister who I believe is the demographic that Bratz is targeting laughed so hard at how dumb it sounded to her.
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Nighthawk
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quote:
Originally posted by BlackBlade:
My sister who I believe is the demographic that Bratz is targeting laughed so hard at how dumb it sounded to her.

But, you see, kids that age will go see dumb movies anyway, even if it causes their parents nightmares.
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Foust
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The Bratz trailer is great. A movie about how hard life is for rich, hot girls in high school. It just rings so true!
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Jon Boy
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quote:
Originally posted by brojack17:
The kids will like it. Of course, they are 3 & 5. This reminds me of Garfield. A great comic strip ruined by the movie business.

A great comic strip? [Confused]
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Nighthawk
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quote:
Originally posted by Jon Boy:
quote:
Originally posted by brojack17:
The kids will like it. Of course, they are 3 & 5. This reminds me of Garfield. A great comic strip ruined by the movie business.

A great comic strip? [Confused]
Garfield is the Seinfeld of comic strips. Each strip is pointless and means absolutely nothing, yet people find it hysterical.
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mr_porteiro_head
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I don't think anybody's found Garfield hysterical in the last 20 years.
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Jon Boy
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I found Garfield hysterical within the last 20 years. Of course, I was under the age of 10 at the time, so take that for what it's worth.
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Icarus
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quote:
Originally posted by Jon Boy:
I wanted to cry the other day when I saw this list.

I thought he was joking, until I got to his loving description of G.I.Joe and thought, Holy crap, he's serious. [Eek!]

I'd only heard of four of those toys, though. I shouldn't feel out of touch with something from the eighties, so I'm a little confused by that.

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Icarus
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quote:
Originally posted by Jon Boy:
quote:
Originally posted by brojack17:
The kids will like it. Of course, they are 3 & 5. This reminds me of Garfield. A great comic strip ruined by the movie business.

A great comic strip? [Confused]
Ditto.
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SteveRogers
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I thought this thread was going to be about Rush Hour 3...
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Kelly
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quote:
Originally posted by Jon Boy:
Why? WHY?!

The worst part is that you know it won't stop. There are plenty of old cartoons and toys that will provide fuel for Hollywood hacks for years to come.

Oh my God, I think you're right.
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Jim-Me
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Kelly, I am actually interested in that one.

Whether you liked the movie or not, you have to admit that the freeway chase in "Reloaded" was greatness... and Speed Racer done by the Wachowskis promises to be an entire movie of that.

Edit: plus it has the beautiful Christina Ricci portraying my first ever cartoon crush, Trixie.

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FlyingCow
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quote:
I'd only heard of four of those toys, though.
Really, Ic? I actually had 7 of them, and had always wanted a Robotech toy. The only ones I never had any interest in were Manglor Mountain and Zoids (though a friend had a bunch of Zoids).

But they forgot a bunch of my old toys from that list: Centurions, Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors (as mentioned previously), DinoRiders, Go-Bots, Bionic Six, M.U.S.C.L.E. Men, and I'm sure many more...

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Wendybird
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Wow, not sure I should even admit I want to see Underdog [Wink]
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ricree101
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quote:
Originally posted by Jim-Me:
From IMDB's plot synopis:
"This plot synopsis is empty."

How appropos.

Oh darn it. I noticed this when I first looked at the page, and I was just about to post it. Beaten by a day.
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steven
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"We need a Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors movie next."

That was my literal next thought as I read the post right b4 yours.

Hee hee. I actually thought those toys were pretty cool. I also liked the cartoon. I never understood why they got rid of it so quickly.

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Sterling
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I saw the trailer for Underdog before Ratatouille. Sadly, it wasn't the movie I least wanted to see of the lot. There was also a preview for a new Mr. Bean movie.

Y'know, I remember a time when Rowan Atkinson was funny...

(...Now get off my lawn, you little whippersnappers...)

Oh, and by the way, since the Ratatouille thread seems to have vanished: it's very good, go see it.

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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
There is a crossroads in every comedic actor's life where they can either choose to drive ahead and make new, funny things, or to coast by on their former reputation and make new, terribly bland things.
Jason Lee's coasting point.
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AvidReader
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<small voice> I think Underdog looks kind of funny. </small voice>

I still can't figure out why they didn't go with a cartoon, but I'm willing to give Underdog a chance. Alvin, not so much.

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SC Carver
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Ah remember the old days when they made movies to tell a story instead of selling toys, video games, and T-shirts.

Apparently the theory of "If they loved it as kids in the 80's then they will buy it for their kids now" is working. Transformers, Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake, Thundercats, GI Joe,.....I think I even heard they are going to redo the Never Ending Story. (some of those had new TV shows instead of movies)

It is much easier to re-launch something than to try to build it up from nothing.


I could swear when I was a kid 80's there weren't nearly as many movies produced each year. Its hard enough to make a few good movies a year, if they are making 100's there are bound to be a lot of stinkers and derivative junk.

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The Reader
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quote:
Ah remember the old days when they made movies to tell a story instead of selling toys, video games, and T-shirts.
The 1920's? Disney was into merchandising in the thirties, I think.
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Carrie
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I'm slightly ashamed of my parents - they both want to see Underdog, including my father, who hasn't seen a movie since we saw Armageddon on an airplane and he seriously ticked off some people by loudly commenting on the implausibility of the entire movie.
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Tarrsk
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quote:
Originally posted by The Reader:
quote:
Ah remember the old days when they made movies to tell a story instead of selling toys, video games, and T-shirts.
The 1920's? Disney was into merchandising in the thirties, I think.
And it's not as if the Transformers themselves were ever more than a marketing ploy for selling toys.
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SC Carver
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This is true, but it seems like almost every movie or TV show is now only for this purpose. I know Star Wars (the first time around) really opened Pandora’s box on this and we will never go back, but it seems like everything is down to a science.

You pick which property you want to re-launch, start generating some buzz, pick a director and promise them a huge budget, once you get a few preliminary clips (a year and a half before its release) start licensing, team up with a toy partner, make sure Wal-Mart and Target are going to support it, get coke or Pepsi on board maybe McDonalds to help advertise and you had a blockbuster before you've even half way through filming. Maybe it is just because I am on the manufacturing side now and I have seen how the business works. One reason they start so far out is so they have time to get all their licensing partners lined up.

It looks like Spiderman 3 and Transformers are going to be the two of the highest grossing movies of the year. Let’s face it neither were very good. They are almost identical, “Fun” way over the top action films with weak plots and lots of visual effects and advertising. Both spent over $200 Million in advertising once you count how much their partners through in. That is as much money as it takes to make most movies. The movie release is just one big commercial for the DVD which generates more $$$ than tickets sales. Both the movie release and the DVD serve to sell all the licensed products.

So I guess what I was trying to say is it used to be you had a one or two of these movies each summer and holiday season like this, but now there’s 6-8. For every Ratatouille there are three re-launches and five sequels.


Getting off my soap box now.

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