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I can't shake this depression. It seems never ending. I'm so tired. I miss my Mom. All I can see tonight are her dead eyes as when I found her two years ago. I'm wounded and I can't seem to heal. I think my friends are getting sick and tired of it. I don't even have much family left in my home city, but I can't bring myself to leave it, even though the main body wants me to leave Detroit to be with them in Chicago. But any move won't help. At least it won't help my depression. That and my dad and brother are still around and of course all my friends. I'm 30 yet I feel like I'm 60 most of the time. I feel like my best years are lost. And now my best friend is all but lost to me. Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion but I'm sure he is angry and sick of me. My closest initmate contact is sealed, if not for good at least for some weeks/months.
It came about when we went to the Ann Arbor Street Art Festival...a great time till the end when we got drunk and I was overcome with saddness and needed to get away... and became lost in the city for hours. By the time we found each other he was furious and in my shame said nothing in return. Now it seems he questions all my motives and statements. I've not talked to him for a week and it's hard since we usually talk every day.
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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Tep, have you seen a mental health professional about this recently?
You have good reason to be depressed, but the fact that it is still with you and to such an extent suggests to me that you might well be helped by more extensive intervention. You shouldn't have to live like this, and you deserve an up-to-date assessment and accurate, effective help.
I'm sure that is what your mother would want for her son, too.
((Telp)) I can't think of anything else to say - hopefully people who have been through the same(ish) thing as you may be able to help more.
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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No, I've not seen a shrink yet. I probably should. I don't know how to go about that. I guess I could just go to the hospital and ask for an appointment? It's hard too since I work the afternoon shift, stay up to 6am and wake up at 2pm to get ready for work.
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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Sweet pea, I can help you with this, if you like. You probably don't want to go through a hospital unless you have to. Lonng waits in ERs, and inefficent use of your resources! That is, there are better ways, even if you do not have insurance.
Is your email account on your profile still active? Is it okay for me to use it?
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Telp, I've lost a loved one myself, though not a mother. I found having somebody that's willing to listen to how you feel or some kind of grief counseling helped me greatly. I'm struggling to this day, but having somebody to talk to on a regular basis, or even a journal was invaluable to me.
I know you're not me, and I don't know what you're going through, but those are the things that helped me when I lost a loved one. CT is no doubt a great resource to help since she is both kind and knowledgeable.
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Telp my grandfather's death affected me so severely it was beginning to affect my children because I was not the mother I needed to be. I was scared for my kids sake, so I sought help.
Let me tell you, best decision I ever made. It was scary, reaching out to a mental health professional but it made a world of difference. Please avail yourself of some of the help CT and others can offer. Even a visit to your primary care physician and letting him/her know how you feel right now is a start.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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Telpie, take care of yourself and keep your hope alive. There are a lot of things you can do to keep depression at bay. Though I never felt like talk therapy was useful, other people have, and certainly the medicine works well to help manage your sadness.
Have you considered that the shift you're working could be the main problem? I found that while I always used to attribute my sadness to events in my life, the actuality was that things like sleep patterns, diet, exercise, and the amount of sunlight I got in my optic nerve were what made the most difference. Your work shift that has you sleeping at dawn for most of the day is the sleep pattern most likely to cause depression in me personally. For you, it could be as easy as that.
Please do bestir yourself to find some solution and fix it, even though I know it's hard to find the energy and motivation. It just robs your whole life from you. Please don't let your life be stolen by an illness that's so very treatable.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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If you're worrid about taking something for it, I can help there. I know I was worried that antidepressants would force me to feel happy. Mine did nothing of the sort. I just felt normal again so I could deal with the problem.
I'd still feel sad sometimes, but I wasn't in tears from just a stray thought. All they did was get me to a place where I could finally deal.
I hope you find something that works for you, Telp. Feel better.
Posts: 2283 | Registered: Dec 2003
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And don't think that just because you start anti-depressant med therapy, you always have to stay on it or that you'll need drugs to be "normal" I took anti-depressants for a while as I went through therapy with a counselor, and then with my doctor's approval and help, slowly weaned off them and now I'm completely drug free. The drugs can help, but don't think they must be a crutch or that you'll need to be medicated forever. Depression due to grief is often short-term, and you'll be able to put it behind you and move on.
I didn't know your mother, but I'm sure she would want you to be happy. *hugs*
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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I manage mine now by exercise, diet, sleep, sunlight, and prayer.
First I judge my state by noticing things that give an indication. For instance, I cry easily, but if I cry two or three times in a day then that's a big sign. If I feel no pleasure from things that I ordinarily enjoy, that's another one. If I have disturbed sleep patterns, like inability to wake up after 12 hours of sleep, or inability to sleep when I have only gotten 4 hours sleep for a few nights in a row, that's another big sign. Eating can be another one, if I am just not hungry for several days in a row, or else starving constantly for comfort foods. A feeling of hopelessness for my life as a whole can kick in and that is also a symptom. Also, the thought comes to me that I always feel this way, that my life is always bleak and empty, which is totally untrue but I still think that at times. Depression makes your brain lie to you.
When I notice two or three signs then I take action. The thing is, depression is a spiral. So once you start into the spiral, it feeds on itself. That's a bad thing in some ways but it's good in others. It means to treat it you don't have to have a fundamental overhaul of everything about you. Once you get a kick out of the spiral, you can stay out by noticing early signs and taking action.
Actions you can take are: 1. Daily vigorous exercise. This is the single most important contributor to mood stability that I know of. 2. Sunlight in the optic nerve. This is tied for first with exercise, in fact. Running outside during daylight hours regularly is pretty much guaranteed to fix whatever depression problems I ever have. 3. Sleep regularly and well. When I sleep at the same time every night, and get enough sleep, it improves my moods tremendously. Have you ever kept a cranky child who didn't get their nap? Adults are the same way. 4. Eat a good healthy diet. Carbohydrates have definite mood effects for me. I have a friend who whenever I'm sad will ask me "did you eat anything today?" and quite often the answer is no. I find that if I want to change my carb intake, I have to take it slowly, and only change by about 10% a day, or else I get mood swings.
When you're really feeling terrible, though, it's hard to take any of these steps. That's why the medicine is great to have. It can serve to jumpstart you and kick you out of the spiral, so that you have attention and energy to focus on making the other changes.
Good luck and keep us posted. Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Thanks for the adivice guys. I do need to work out and while I've improved my eating habits they could be better. Also not drinking as much.
I have ADD too and should probably be on something for that again if I have any hope of getting back into college.
Part of it is that I'm so lonely. I live by myself which is a double edged sword. I love being master of my domain and being able to do whatever I want but I'm lonely most of the time. If I was on a day shift I would be able to hang out with my friends and do the vocal music stuff I love much more. But as it is I work and come home and don't see any of my loved ones till the weekend.
My Dad said that living alone would help me from being so dependend on others... I don't know if it's helped... I can get by without others but I'm horribly sad too. While I do need my private space to retreat to I also yearn for company 90% of the time.
I like coming home to someone, which is why when I was helping my friend who had become homeless it was so pleasurable for me to have him there while it lasted.
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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The other part is the odd friendship between my best friend and I. I have feelings for him and have since we first met. He's slightly bisexual and transgendered but is so wound up he will rarely talk about it let alone act on it. Ususally he just says he's straight. He inadvertently led me on when we first met and thus my defenses were lowered and I thought we had something going on. Turned out not to be. But he was still a most amazing person and didn't want him out of my life so I decided to endure the torment and keep him as a friend. That was back in 1999.
I'd have good months and bad months, good years and bad years, in regards to how much I was tormented by my feelings for him. I didn't help that there were some close calls between us, making out once, cuddling, wrestling around that seemed a little more that just wrestling sometimes, or "Karl I wish you were a woman", or one kodac moment crying in each other's arms, etc...
Anytime I make up my mind that I'm over him he would do something to make me have hope. But then later would be affronted my tentative affection.
He doesn't have/make many friends and I am, by his own words, his closest intimate contact and best friend. At this time it is the same for me. And this is the dangerous part. Because we know more about each other than any other human on Earth. But he can be so mean and cruel. I can't act naturally around him half the time for fear of him insulting me for affections that I can only rarely show.
The man is confused. But I love him with all my heart and I know I shouldn't. This whole thing is toxic. But I dont' know how to shut off my feelings for him and have him "just a friend".
The only way I can see is to not hang out with him anymore.... but that would be even more painful.
Last weekend's events have also thrown things into turmoil. He was furious at me...as he probably had a right to be. But I think he's been finding me more and more annoying. We used to be able to have awesome conversations about politics and everthing else... but now he resents my opinions and questions my knowledge. He seems to take personal insult when I don't agree with him on esoteric matters. So I don't bring stuff up much anymore and our talks seem to have mostly silence.
We used to talk on the phone every day, but now he's avoided my calls and I've stopped trying. He actually called me while writing this but I avoided calling him back for now. I'm still upset over the events of last week and what he must think of me. I think I should disappear for a time.
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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Drinking is terrible for your brain chemistry, too. You're very right about that. Plus it makes you do things you regret, which leads to more sadness, alienation from friends, etc. Try not drinking for a month or two and see how you like it. You can still go out, be with friends, but just drink sodas instead of alcohol. Be the designated driver for a few weeks. I bet you'll like the change.
A big part of growing up and living on your own is learning to really take care of yourself. A whole lot of depression comes from overall ill-health, the sort of subliminal things that aren't bad enough to go to the doctor about, or to notice really, but that make you feel bleh. Then you feel less like being active, maybe have less energy to cook so you grab fast food, less motivation to get to sleep on time, and it begins to spiral from there. An awful lot of people I know have become depressed a year or two after leaving home, because they don't have mom cooking for them anymore.
It's really, in my experience, a whole lot less about your thoughts and feelings than it is about your physical health.
On the other hand, relationships in which you are treated badly erode your sense of self. It's probably a good idea to increase the distance between you for a while, since it seems that your connection with him is making you feel like less of a person.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:But I dont' know how to shut off my feelings for him and have him "just a friend".
I had a best friend like this. I even moved in with her. And it was agonizing for everyone involved.
I don't know what to tell you. In my case, the cycle didn't end until I met someone who made me truly happy. Even worse, I'm no longer friends with Tiffany; as toxic as our mutual codependence was, it had hollowed out our friendship -- so once I no longer needed to hang on her, no matter what, she was unable to forgive me for my "inattention."
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Telp, feel free to email me if you need to talk, I've been there. I've not lost a parent, but I did lose the woman I was going to marry.
Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Telp, I would second Tatiana's mention about the effect of your shift on your mental health. And in my case, identifying problems like that really helps me. If I can say "I'm ovulating" or "This is PMS" it allows me to detach feelings that would normally snowball into depression into something that will go away in a few days.
I believe the problem behind seasonal affective disorder, which your shift work would mimic, is that the sleep hormone Melatonin is synthesized from Seratonin, so not getting the expected amount of sunlight could be creating a supply crisis for these needed neurotransmitters. A supply crisis is very different from an outright shortage. (NB: I don't support supplementing melatonin or anything like that and possibly make it worse.)
So I wouldn't say that you have to change jobs. Just be aware that feeling this way is part of that job, and then take it from there. Getting therapy and medication are health decisions for you to make (I for one highly support talk therapy and find the trend toward prescribing psych drugs without it worrying.) But for the many years I couldn't afford therapy or drugs, I just journalled and sought clarity.
As far as your friend goes, I've travelled a long road with my husband and I think there's always hope, but again, honesty and clarity are where it is at. When I was first in codependent's anonymous, I thought I had to abstain from human love, but now I see it's like eating well and the point is to be healthy, not do without.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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If you can't change jobs, turn on as many lights as possible. Incandescent ones if you can. Put a lamp on your desk. Do SOMETHING so that you see a lot of light.
I get TERRIBLE seasonal depression and that's how I treat it.
Getting enough sleep with a normal sleep schedule helps me too. When I get the "There's nothing happy in life" feeling I know I've probably stayed up past when I normally go to bed.
Unrequited love destroys you. It's tough but move on. Trust me on this. I spent my teen years with a bad case of in-love-with-a-straight-girl. You've let it go on too long. Get away. If he hasn't come around yet, odds are he won't. You're a gorgeous guy. You won't be alone.
Posts: 7085 | Registered: Apr 2001
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Telp, I wish I could just hug you. I do hope you will seek professional help. If you want to e-mail me, it's in my profile. You deserve better than to be in this place.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Telpy, I'm so sorry. My thoughts, prayers, and hugs are with you. I'm glad CT can help you connect. Take care. ((((Telp))))
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:If you can't change jobs, turn on as many lights as possible. Incandescent ones if you can.
If you're looking to approximate sunlight, certain fluorescents are much better than incandescent unless you want to spend the big bucks for metal halide. Just FYI.
I'd second the suggestion that you maybe should look for another job. The hours you have to work seem to be amplifying your feelings of isolation by making it virtually impossible for you to socialize. Once you're working a normal shift, a lot of possibilities open up for meeting people and making friends, from community ed classes to sports to clubbing (if you're into that - not I).
Posts: 3275 | Registered: May 2007
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Thanks guys. I feel alot better. It really does help to get my demons out in the open. My friend and I actually hung out with some others and had a nice normal night of card games.
Of course this feeling of normalcy is temporary, in another week, or at best a month, I'll be back down the same old road. So I will be more actively checking into professional help. Salute.
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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Well guess what. It really doesn't end. Drugs aren't helping much and the therapist hasn't done much for me yet.
I was fine for about 9 months or so.... but the past two months have been an utter torment. I've lost my best friend due to my depression and now I'm about to loose my job. I always seem to outstay my welcome. I feel like and utter failure faking his way through life and now people will find out how horrible I really am. Like not being able to read and fooling everyone around you and getting by but soon you'll be in a situation where there is no getting out of it and they will find out.
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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(((Karl))) I was depressed for 6 years and still healed (and that's cutting off the first two years that I figure were legitimate grief). On the one hand, no length of depression, by itself, means permanence. On the other hand, that's a really long time. But, yeah. Life started getting really good when I was your age.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:I was fine for about 9 months or so.... but the past two months have been an utter torment.
Yeah, but you were *fine* for 9 months. Obviously this isn't an intractable situation, so at least that's something positive to look to. You are capable of being happy, even if you aren't right now. That basic idea helps me over the rough patches.
Posts: 3275 | Registered: May 2007
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Matt makes an excellent point. (((((Telp)))))
Have you told your therapist how you are feeling? Therapy can be a slow process (and finding the right meds and dosage can be a huge pain), but it works best if you tell him/her about stuff like this.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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A major part of depression can be the feeling that it won't ever get better - so keep that in the logical part of your mind, know that it WILL get better, even when the part of your brain that's currently being a bum isn't making things easy.
When I was depressed, I felt like there was a logical part of my brain that I could work with, and a rebellious part of my brain being an emotional bum, who wouldn't get off its lazy butt and shape up.
It helped me to remember that even though part of me was being irrationally stupid, part of me wasn't, and I could rely on that to keep me going while I gave the bum part time to get back into shape.
In other words, keep on keepin' on.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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Yeah, distortions about the permanence of the feelings are pretty characteristic of depression. It's like your brain falls into a holding pattern that is comfortable in its completely crummy way.
Do you want to talk more about what happened with your friend?
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Yes I do... but I've waited too long and I'm dying of sleepiness... I'll write more tomorrow. *hugs*
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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Hey there, Karl! I remember meeting you in person, and how wonderful it was. I'm so sorry to find out that you are going through a dark time. I'm glad that you're acting to get yourself some help and encouragement, and I'm glad that you are being open with yourself. You WILL get through this, but it might take some time to fully recover. Just know that you do have people who love you immensely (me being one of them), and we will do what we can to walk by your side until the sun shines again.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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*hugs Telp* Nothing more to say that hasn't been said by everyone here. We are all here for you.
Posts: 1550 | Registered: Jun 1999
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I can't offer more than a virtual sholder to cry on, but if you need an anonymous person to dump on, who the chances of you ever haveing to meet face-to-face are slim to nought, drop me line.
It's the least I can do for someone who switched me on to OOTS.
Posts: 892 | Registered: Oct 2006
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Have you tried the exercise idea? I would be a wreck if it weren't for being able to hit the gym and run things out.
Posts: 3060 | Registered: Nov 2003
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Telpy, drink from the reasons that hold you alive. I remember at my low points I would think of one of my nieces, who really did connect with me and for whom I felt I filled a vital role. I would remember her to get courage to continue.
I'm just offering various strategies and answers that I've found over the years. Apply them to your own situation as you find them useful.
Another thing that might be helpful is to realize how many other wonderful gifted amazing people have been through the same sort of feelings as you're experiencing. What would you say to them? That they are lovely beings, that they enhance the quality of the world around them, that their spirits burn with a beautiful light, illuminating everything in their surroundings? Those things apply to you as well. I've never known anyone who felt the way you're feeling who didn't have some pure and powerful gifts. Learn to feed your flame and let it burn brightly as a beacon to others. You have a divine nature.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Ok, here's the skinny for anyone who cares. Beware thar be angst below
Set the way back machine to March. So I've been dealing with depression since the beginning of that month. Big surprise, been dealing with it for decades. Throughout my life there are always cycles of depression...no matter what is going on I'll always get down in the dumps a couple times a year.
So I'm upset… it's almost my birthday and what have I done with my life. That and I'm missing my Mom who's been dead almost three years now. Birthdays and holidays are no longer much fun and just remind me of my shattered family. Add the fact that I HATE my job and the idiots, seriously they are idiots, and not just stupid people some of them are really mean hateful people. Can't stand it. I stay there, my own fault, I know, yadda yadda yadda… Then there's my best friend Neal. I've had some unrequited love for him since I first met him nearly 10 years ago. Most of this has been dealt with many times in the past but continues to be an ache in my heart.
So what could have been an isolated case of me having a lot of drunken angst has turned into a huge cluster**** resulting in the loss of my best friend….thus the depression continues to this day. It all started after Natasha's fantastic wedding party… just brilliant. Well afterwards we went to hang out at a friends house to continue drinking….and oh we did… we did. New levels of drunk were reached that night and I have the pictures and video to prove it! Well, me being very drunk became very sentimental, then nostalgic, then emotional, then a big sobbing drunk. All I wanted to do was hide in a corner away from everyone to have my breakdown so no one would see my weakness or my issues…and I could wake up with a hangover and continue with my life.
My friends, rightly so, saw my angst and rushed in to help… but the result was Neal, who I had always shielded from my issues with him since it was my struggle and not his, saw… actually I think everyone saw… what was going down and was very upset. Not just at me but for me.
This led to him talking to my friends and then my own brother about his fear for me and my depression.
He'd been getting more concerned about my depression and that night he finally saw me as a big sad sobbing mess. Now, many of my friends(especially the ones I drink with) have see me in this state plenty of times...but this was Neal's first I think. And it must have scared the ****ing pants off him.
This led him to calling me and telling me we shouldn't hang out anymore.
10 years of friendship down the drain. For nothing. Pointless.
He said he didn't want to be the cause nor the excuse for my suffering.
****er. I've been dealing with you for 10 years…you are not the only ****ing cause of my agony. What a brilliant idea! Run away just when I'm at my lowest. Thanks.
His friendship might have been difficult at times, but it was also VERY rewarding. It more than made up for any pain it might have caused. So it's been hard to go from talking every day and seeing each other every weekend to nothing. For almost two months now.
In my madness I sent him many of the letters I wrote to him over the years but never sent.
I'm sure that didn't help the situation, but ****, the cat was out of the bag anyway.
Since then I've tried leaving him alone, I've tried saner emails apologizing, I've tried playing it cool. Nothing is working. It's like pulling teeth. It's like he really doesn't want to be my best friend and bro anymore.
My depression has quadrupled and to save myself I've gone to a physiatrist and a psychologist. So I'm on drugs now. Yay. I'm one of "Those" people now. I'm one of you! Actually it's not that bad. Most of my friends are on something and I'm glad I went. Not sure if the pills are working yet and therapy is only in the beginning too. But at least I'm doing something.
I'm a very sentimental person. Shit, I'm still grieving over the fall of the Roman Empire! (gods I love history!) As a result I hang on to everything. Anything that was of any importance to me must be held on to and remembered and honored. Because I would hope that people would remember me too. Every lost or faded friendship I mourn for. They feel like deaths.
This is what Neal's leaving feels like…a death. We might have needed some space from each other, but this is getting ridiculous. This whole think is a huge backfire, and is causing me infinitely more pain than if he was still around.
And now it's gone from Neal avoiding me with the best intentions for me to him avoiding me because he can no longer stand my company. I often feel like I outstay my welcome…nice to know it's actually true.
And there is an evil side of me that wants to take vengeance…
How can you just abandon a decade long friendship overnight?
I know I drove him away, but I've done my part, I've gone to therapy, I've apologized, I've given him space. If he thinks he can just fade away without a fight he is dead wrong.
Oh the time has not yet come, there is still hope for recovery. But if it ever does reach that point I'll have some words for him.
Anyawy… that's my story.
Life goes on as it always does.
[ May 08, 2008, 01:36 PM: Message edited by: Telperion the Silver ]
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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My brother lost some good friends (one in particular) during the time shortly after his diagnosis (bipolar), when he was not yet stable (adjusting meds, etc.)
It did take time -- a couple years -- but they eventually did see that he was now stable, and rational (well, as much as anyone in my family ), and most of them are good friends with him again. Especially the one really good friend.
quote:I'm still grieving over the fall of the Roman Empire!
Dude, you're awesome.
Regarding "what have I done with my life?" that's a pretty normal thing to face coming into the 30's. I don't know if you can come to a place of accepting that person you are as you are, the way you would want someone to accept you; the kind of acceptance you offer to others even though they are not millionaire Oscar winner novelist types (or however you might think of the things you wish you were.)
quote: I'm still grieving over the fall of the Roman Empire! (gods I love history!)
I still get pissed whenever I read about the 4th Crusade. I'm a big history dork too.
I know how it feels to lose friends because of the crap going on in my life. And when I got past it, well, actually I mostly ended up with all new friends, but in talking to some of them and old friends I learned how difficult or confusing it can be on the people around us when we're in turmoil and pain. Not to excuse what your friend did, that sounds harsh. But a lot of them in the end discover the right thing to do, and things at the end of the day turn out much better than it seems like they will now.
To echo rivka, give it time, I hope it all works out.
PS. Did you ever get the email I sent you a week or two ago?
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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Telp: I spent my teen years in love with a straight girl. And when she called off the friendship, I dealt with it in Anger. I mean, I didn't DO anything vengeful, but I just got ANGRY. I cultivated it and wallowed in it. I didn't lash out, or anything like that, but every time I thought of her I saw red. It didn't matter that she couldn't help being het, the anger blunted the depression.
After a few months I was surprised to find I was *completely* over her. For six years of my young life she dominated my thoughts and fed my despair, but just one summer of rage and she was cleaned out of my system. We even managed to rebuild the friendship after that, though I think if I had had that in mind while I was angry, it wouldn't have worked.
Anyway, ((Telp)) I wish you the best of luck. I've been there and I know how much it sucks, but you can make it through and your life WILL improve.
Posts: 7085 | Registered: Apr 2001
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There's definitely a relationship between depression and anger, though I've usually heard it described that depression is anger turned inward, or repressed. I'm sure your therapist has mentioned that, though. Letting the anger be felt is just being honest. We get a lot of socialization about not being angry, not hating, that kind of thing, but it's part of being alive. Just a part, though.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I almost got emotional at therapy today when he asked what I missed most about Mom. Wow. Did not expect that to happen.
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Telperion the Silver: I almost got emotional at therapy today when he asked what I missed most about Mom. Wow. Did not expect that to happen.
Unconditional love and support? (((Telp)))
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That is, there are better ways, even if you do not have insurance.![[Frown]](frown.gif)
That and an open ear.
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), and most of them are good friends with him again. Especially the one really good friend.
