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Ramadhan starts tomorrow here (Fahim insists on the h in Ramadhan, so blame him for the spelling ). It means that Fahim has to wake at 3:45am so he can finish eating by 4:30am. He can then break fast at around 6:15pm.
This means that he'll be grouchy and irritable and sleep deprived (he does not go back to bed after breakfast in the morning as he feels it goes against the spirit of Ramadhan) for the next month-ish. Which means I'll probably be at least a little tired and irritable and grouchy, too - I tend to wake up when he does.
Breaking fast in the evening traditionally involves eating a few dates while saying a prayer.
When we spend Ramadhan with his parents, his mother makes porridge for breaking fast. This is not traditional oatmeal porridge, but rather a not-quite-soupy dish made with red rice (local version of brown), coconut milk, a small amount of onions, chicken, and so on. It's savory. It's also served with sambol, a mixture of coconut, green chillies, salt, and lime juice. I love the porridge with a few tablespoons of the sambol stirred in - it's lovely!
At the end of Ramadhan is Eid ul-Fitr, a day of celebration, spent with family, and involving eating all day. Or, at least, eating normal meals. It's the most important day in Islam, sort of equivalent to Christmas for Christians. Traditionally, family members give each other items of clothing since only new clothing is worn that day.
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It's a month of fasting (no food, drink, sex, smoking, etc.) from before sunrise to after sunset every day. A month with no eating at all would be... I don't know, near impossible? Impossible? Deadly?
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I once taught an adult computer class, and it was customary each morning at class break to make the students hot, fresh cookies ( Spunkmeyer ) I think some of the students came JUST for the yummy cookies
So I felt really bad one class when I realized that one student was not partaking and it dawned on me that they were celebrating Ramadhan. I felt so guilty for us all eating this fresh cookies in front of him... Posts: 9538 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I hear you. I hate eating lunch in front of Fahim during Ramadhan, but he insists that it's okay, as does everyone else who's fasting. If we're at his parent's other house when they're all fasting, his mother still makes sure I get fed at lunchtime - she'll cook for me if necessary! I don't let her, but you know what I mean.
Of the Muslims I've been around, they've gone out of their way to make sure I wasn't at all uncomfortable if I ate during the day during Ramadan. They made sure I had whatever I needed. They were also quite insistent that it was okay and that I be fed or watered. Your student was probably much like them.
My sister and her family, on the other hand, lived in the Maldives, a Muslim country, during at least two Ramadans, possibly three, and from what I recall, the first year they drank from their water bottles and ate food in public. Not good form - it's considered wildly socially unacceptable there. Well, it's a Muslim country by government decree. Here, Muslims are a minority. Different perspectives.
Also, no cafes, restaurants, or the like are open there during fasting hours with the exception of the resorts.
From what I've read, in some Middle Eastern countries, working hours during Ramadan are greatly altered. People sleep during the day, eat and work at night, or some such thing. Saudi Arabia is supposed to be like that. Fahim disagrees with it on principle - he believes that it goes against the spirit of the fast.
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Thanks quid, I love these little insights into your life! "Ramadhan Mubarak" is something like "happy Ramadhan" I assume?
Posts: 3420 | Registered: Jun 2002
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Question: So between 3:45am and 4:30am one is allowed to partake in one or more of "food, drink, sex, smoking, etc.", correct?
Posts: 7593 | Registered: Sep 2006
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Looked it up on Wikipedia, Farmgirl is correct. Looks like the fast itself is pretty easy to adhere to. That bolded part would be impossible for me though.
quote:... Every day during the month of Ramadan, Muslims around the world get up before dawn to eat and perform their fajr prayer. They break their fast when the fourth prayer of the day, Maghrib (sunset), is due and can eat and drink until dawn the next day.
During Ramadan, Muslims are also expected to put more effort into following the teachings of Islam as well as refraining from anger, envy, greed, lust, sarcastic retorts , backbiting, and gossip.
quote:Originally posted by Dragon: Thanks quid, I love these little insights into your life! "Ramadhan Mubarak" is something like "happy Ramadhan" I assume?
Mubarak is more along the lines of "congratulations" but it's one of those all-purpose words you can use for birthdays, holidays, and a way to verbally appreciate random good things happening to whomever you're talking to.
Posts: 1156 | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Mucus: Looks like the fast itself is pretty easy to adhere to.
Not for me! Blood sugar crashing every single day for 30 days in a row . . . I have a lot of respect for those who comply. I'm all about regular meals!
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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This meant a week off of school when I lived in Malaysia.
Have a wonderful Ramadan, alot of the folks in Malaysia have communal feasts every early morning and evening during Ramadan. That always sounded like loads of fun to my ears. I know quite a few folks who observe Ramadan even though they are not Muslim, they all said it's a worthwhile experiment.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Thanks for posting this Quid! I was going to invite a Muslim friend of mine to breakfast this weekend (he loves pancakes, but is too lazy to cook them) - hadn't realized that Ramadan had creped up so quickly. Guess we'll have a pancake dinner after dark, instead.
P.S. If you and Fahim are still interested in coming to our wedding in Decemeber, shoot me an email!
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quote:Originally posted by Mucus: Question: So between 3:45am and 4:30am one is allowed to partake in one or more of "food, drink, sex, smoking, etc.", correct?
Yeah, all of the above is allowed in the non-fasting hours.
This is my fifth year of watching Fahim go through this. Every year, he gets tired, cranky, irritable, and sick by about the second, sometimes the third week. He gets daily massive headaches. He stops talking usually by the third week, although sometimes earlier - better that than constantly snapping at me is his attitude. I'm used to it, so I let him without argument. By the time Ramadhan is over, it takes him another few weeks to month to recover.
Yesterday was the first day of the fast. I made him soup - it's easier to digest and better for getting his food back to eating. His stomach clenches up during the day from no food. A bowl of soup - one bowl of soup - was all he could handle. No solid food after that.
I woke up early this morning and sat with him while he ate his breakfast (he had to wake at 3:45am and be finished eating by 4:30am). I tend to make naan sandwiches for him because they're easier and faster for him to eat. Still, he left 1/3 of it behind - he couldn't stuff it down. He managed his one cup of tea, a little sweet bun, and nearly threw up trying to drink a glass of water.
He eats maybe 1/3 to 2/3 as much as normal, but usually less than 1/2 his normal food amount. I do everything I can to entice him to eat as much as possible while making it as nutritionally dense as I can. Getting him to eat anything approaching his normal amounts is impossible. Still, I try everything I can think of.
At least this year, the monsoon season is in full force, so we're not getting the full heat. So far. With no liquids of any kind, dehydration happens easily.
Easy? I'm sorry, but that's laughable. No, not impossible, but definitely not easy. Not for anyone I know.
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It's definitely not easy because its hard on the body to sustain a diet for such a long period of time. You'd be surprised how hard it is to even just not ingest fluids while being actively at work during daylight hours for two days, to say nothing of about a month.
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airmanfour got the mubarak part right. Yeah, it's a fairly generic holiday greeting.
Blackblade, I've heard about the communal feasts. They're apparently very common in countries/cultures with high Muslim populations. Here, the porridge that I mentioned earlier is also made in enormous quantities at the local mosques, so people can go and pick some up to take home and eat immediately after breaking fast. Other than that, I haven't heard of any communal feasts here. But here, Muslims are the minority, so don't get a week off from work or school, and working hours don't change, so it's otherwise life as normal.
And yeah, I know other non-Muslims who've fasted during Ramadan. Usually only for a day or two. But out of respect for the Muslims they know, and then spend breaking fast time with their Muslim family. It can be a huge honor. (I'm just currently physically unable to fast.)
Thanks, Blackblade and Dragon.
Jhai, interested, yes. Have finances, no. Sadly. A pancake dinner sounds like a good idea. Yum!
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I think there has been a communication problem.
When it says no drinking, I assumed it meant no drinking alcohol. In this scenario, thats pretty much all my final year end of term months while I was still in university, working all nighters on end of term projects, eating one big meal per day, no sex, no alcohol, then crash studying for finals.
However, from BBs and quidscribis' last post, no drinking actually means no drinking, period. That IS rough ... although for me thats still comparable in difficulty to "no sarcastic retorts" Posts: 7593 | Registered: Sep 2006
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Muslims aren't supposed to drink alcohol ever. In this context, it's referring to any liquids of any types. Basically, during the fasting hours, nothing is allowed to pass through their lips. He can't kiss me even with closed lips because something could pass through accidentally.
As a side note, not everyone can or should fast. Anyone who hasn't reached puberty doesn't fast. Women on their monthly cycle, pregnant, or breastfeeding aren't supposed to fast, and neither is anyone who's bleeding, injured, or sick.
This also means that Fahim can't pop his zits during fasting hours. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote: He eats maybe 1/3 to 2/3 as much as normal, but usually less than 1/2 his normal food amount.
If I remember right from photos of him you have linked to -- he's pretty darn skinny already, isn't he? I can see where cutting his calorie intake that much would be a concern for you, but if his system just rejects food at that time of day, there isn't much that can be done. I would worry more about his fluid intake..
But obviously he has made it through all these years...
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Farmgirl, he's gained about 40 or maybe 50 pounds since we got married. He's 5'11.5", and when we got married, he weight 120-140 pounds (no scale, so he didn't know), and yes, very very very skinny. Not underweight, just very very lean. Now, he's got a bit of a stomach and he's filled out some, so I'm actually less worried about him now than I was when we were first married. Sure, he could handle losing the pouch, but it's not that big a deal. Well, except that he had to get a whole new wardrobe - that was pretty funny. None of his old pants - that he wore for who knows how many years - even come close to fitting him anymore.
I watch his fluid intake. Oh, who am I kidding? I watch everything he takes in during Ramadan. He gets in about 5-7 cups of fluids a day, so it's not so bad. A bit more would be nice, but he'll be okay. It's also part of the reason behind soups most days for breaking fast.
Today, I managed to get him to eat half a papaya. Yes, because I was cursed, again, to wake up before him, so I just got stuff ready for him. Anyway, not that anyone else cares about the micromanagement of this...
kojabu, I'm right there with ya! Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:Originally posted by quidscribis: This also means that Fahim can't pop his zits during fasting hours.
... yikes.
I'm now unfortunately imagining the first time that came up ever, (Monty Python-style) with a group of serious old men in olden times debating the issue while a boy is nervously standing by Posts: 7593 | Registered: Sep 2006
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Ramadan sounds a lot like my college life....I'm too busy at class and napping during daylight hours to eat or drink anything
Also, I think it's wonderful that the two of you have no conflicts whatsoever. Best of luck to you both in the next few weeks Posts: 349 | Registered: Jul 2006
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Fahim's tired, but not overly cranky yet. I'm tired - I wake up when he does and don't fall asleep again so easily (but then, I've also had more joint problems again lately that keep me awake, so it's at least partially that.)
All in all, not bad. He's not as sick as he has been other years, so that, I'm happy for.
Only two more weeks, then it's Eid, then it's six more days of fasting after that if he's feeling okay, and then it's over. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Fahim didn't actually reach the cranky irritable stage this year. He also didn't get anywhere near as sick as he has in past years. Other than not having enough sleep and having headaches, he's doing pretty good, so it's all good.
Today is Eid, the festival day that marks the end of Ramadan. To celebrate Eid, everyone takes a shower first thing in the morning and puts on new clothing. We exchanged clothing yesterday (I got a wonderful bright fuschia shalwaar with aqua pants and a fuschia and aqua shawl - lovely lovely lovely colors that I love ).
For breakfast - remember, no fasting today - we're having string hoppers, a coconut milk gravy, chicken curry, and then a coconut-jaggery syrop-type sauce. It's all going to be wonderful. It's on the table - we're waiting for the straggling family members to wake up and get ready.
At around 9, the men will go to the mosque and donate their tithing (to support the poor).
The rest of the day will be all family - it's a major family event, and this is the most important holiday in the Muslim world. It'll be spent having the best dishes for lunch and dinner, and we'll be having wattalapam (a jaggery and coconut milk custard that's just so incredibly wonderful).
Then, tomorrow, six more days of fasting begins. It's optional, but it's also considered to be extremely meritorious. We're in the home stretch! Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Eid Mubarak, quid! Durga Puja, the biggest holiday(s) in West Bengal is also happening this week. Abhi, a good Bengali friend, and I went to a celebration at a local high school today for the puja.
Durga is the main goddess of Bengalis, and is celebrated because she defeated a demon intent on destroying the Earth who could not be defeated by any man or god. This event actually took place in the spring. The celebrations happen now, however, because Ram invoked her in the fall to help him in his fight against Ravana, and she responded out of season.
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String hoppers are a sort of noodle made from red rice flour and pressed into a tangled circle. Think pancake or crepe in string form. It's your closest equivalent. Jaggery is like brown sugar, but made from the sap of the kithul palm tree and has a very distinctive taste.
Jhai, that's interesting about Durga.
Tatiana, you and I celebrate Christmas and Easter. I think that's pretty neat stuff. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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). It means that Fahim has to wake at 3:45am so he can finish eating by 4:30am. He can then break fast at around 6:15pm. 
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