posted
So I just got another idea for a movie that I'll never get the rights to produce. Watcha think?
The movie begins focusing on a young force sensitive orphan on some random planet in the years between Star Wars III and IV. The first third of the movie plays out in the style of horror film that features young, demonic children. The child is brought into a new home by loving parents, but something about him is already tainted. As his force powers begin to manifest, he accidentally kills the parents' biological child. Having grown up tough on the streets, he lacks the moral compass to feel remorse, and begins to concoct a plan to kill the potential witnesses of his crime...
...suddenly the lights go out. He tries to activate the household computer system but it's been corrupted. His plans begin to unravel around him. He frantically runs through the house, lashing out at anything he senses with his force powers. Finally a door opens. A beam of light falls across his face. Then we see an ominous shadow fall over him.
A voice whispers "Meesa thinksa yousa gonna die...."
His tortured force scream gives nightmares to citizens within a thirteen mile radius.
The second two thirds of the movie follow a detective on the trail of an interplanetary killing spree. A serial killer is targeting force sensitive orphans on the outer worlds who have strayed too close to the dark side. As the detective puts together the pieces of the puzzle, he realizes the killer is from Naboo - a Gungan who accidentally played a role in the formation of the deadliest sith in the galaxy. Driven mad by the knowledge of his role in Vader's psychological development, the killer has vowed to correct his mistake, slaying those who fit the profile of the young Anakin Skywalker.
The movie ends in a showdown in a carbonite factory, where the detective narrowly manages to knock the criminal into the freezing room. In the process he saves the killer's current target, a force sensitive girl.
The title of the movie is finally revealed, dripping in blood across the black screen. The red letters form the words...
"Binks."
After the credits roll we are given an easter egg scene, showing that the detective is raising the girl as his own. We realize that the trauma of the experience has left her scarred with darkness as well. We cut away just as we see her eyes begin to glow a sith red...
[ May 13, 2009, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: Raymond Arnold ]
Posts: 4136 | Registered: Aug 2008
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posted
If you actually get this or anything like this made into any sort of product I am going to work with congress to make it and you illegal and we will waste millions of dollars making the raymond arnold detention facility within which the act of touching pen to paper or finger to keyboard is an act punishable by death or maiming and it will be a supreme expense but it will be what we need to do to feel safe from movies starring jar jar binks, and in the end, is that not what is most important.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Jar-Jar was the first confirmation that the Star Wars Prequels would in no way meet up with the expectations fans or the Original Star Wars had.
Being that first confirmation, it is like a first impression that is horrible. Its hard to get around it.
Posts: 1941 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
I also love that Jar Jar started the Clone Wars. He basically initiated a dictator. He conferred emergency powers upon Chancellor Palpatine and opened Pandora's box. Single-handedly.
Posts: 1604 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Which is why I think his character is ripe for self doubt, turmoil, psychosis and a dramatic turn towards bizarre villainy. The idea of this story started out as a joke ("How funny would it be if Jar Jar became a serial killer?") but the more I thought about it the more I thought the idea was genuinely interesting and worth exploring.
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posted
If you look closely at the imperial/religious guard in Return of the Jedi, as the Emperor boards the Death Star 2, some strange looking creatures in red stand behind him, etc. I think one of them is Jar-jar (or should be).
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