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This is a game my friends and I came up with during the World Series this year. As both sports fans and geeks, we wondered what some of our favorite characters from TV, movies, and comics might have been had they decided to pursue careers in professional sports. For a given character, we chose a sport and then used what we know of their personality, strengths and weaknesses, history, etc and came up with what seemed like a reasonable extrapolation of their sports career (including, because we are HUGE nerds, statistics).
So I bring our geeky game to Hatrack (edit: thanks for calling me out, Mucus ). Who are some of your favorite fictional characters and what might they be like as athletes? Feel free to draw from any work of fiction.
To get things started, here are some of my contributions to a hypothetical Toronto Blue Jays team, featuring characters from the "Scott Pilgrim" graphic novels.
Scott Pilgrim (Right-Handed Starting Pitcher) Rating = Awesome
This 24-year old power pitcher features otherworldly stuff - a 100 mph four-seamer that bursts into flames on the way to the plate, a curveball that has been known to loop-the-loop, and an 80-85mph changeup. As might be expected, Scott strikes out an incredible number of hitters, but his lackluster control means that he gives up more than his fair share of walks as well. His strength and endurance allow him to go deep into games, and compensate for his often running up the pitch count. Scott also has an unfortunate tendency to buckle in high-pressure situations, and his manager, Wallace Wells, has long since learned to have a quick hook if Scott gets himself into a late-inning jam. However, if Scott can get his mental demons under control, he has the potential to throw complete games with regularity.
ERA: 2.09 WHIP: 1.110 K/9: 12.3 BB/9: 4.7
Ramona Flowers (American Ninja Center Fielder) Rating = Mysterious
Ramona recently signed with Toronto after spending several years in New York. She is rumored to have a close relationship with Yankees general manager Gideon Graves, but refuses to talk about it. She has impressive speed thanks to her rollerblades and mastery of subspace, and uses this to cover vast amounts of ground on the field. Not surprisingly, she is also a constant stolen-base threat. As a hitter, Ramona doesn't have great plate discipline, as she's known to swing at just about anything, even pitches so bad they could be described as "evil." She compensates with excellent power to all fields (apparently she practices her swings using a giant hammer during the offseason).
Kim Pine (Ambidextrous Relief Pitcher) Rating = Misanthropic
A true "relief ace," Kim is the ultimate support pitcher, capable of eating up innings as the long man out of the pen (necessary when Scott has the occasional meltdown) or closing games with brutal efficiency. Her slight stature prevents her from attaining overpowering velocity, but she makes up for this with pin-point control and a unique repertoire that includes a hard-biting slider, a cutter she learned from Mariano Rivera, and a knuckleball. Growing up in the boonies, she spent a lot of her time alone in the woods throwing rocks, and as a result has developed uncanny precision and accuracy, able to paint the edges of the strike zone with ease. Oh yeah, and as a drummer in her free time, Kim can throw with both hands. She's been known to switch sides between pitches just to screw with a batter.
Seriously, it sounds amusing, but I know little about sports so I'm trying to think of how else to approach the concept.
Posts: 7593 | Registered: Sep 2006
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Blayne Bradley
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I can imagine Kamina making an awesome coach.
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Should never have qualified owing to an inability to manuver. Nevertheless made it through the qualifying rounds after multiple judges were found frozen in carbonite. Never dives first.
Buffy and Angel Pair Figure Skating
Firery in temperment and wonderful to behold, nonetheless banned for their uncanny tendency to attract vampires and other creatures which tended to eat the crowd, greatly reducing revenue from concession stands.
Nameless (Hero) Long Jump
Reprimanded multiple times for flying out of the stadium, Nameless broke multiple world records via his use of kung-fu before faking the deaths of multiple Israeli athletes in Munich.
Locutus of Borg Football, Forward
Lost all games, never scoring a single shot. "Goals are irrelevant." In the end, the gold, silver, and bronze medals were all won in 0-0 tied games.
Wiggin led the Battle School Dragons to the NCAA championship in his first year on the squad, beating out Duke in the finals. His deadeye shooting -- an unheard-of 60% from the field and 50% from the there-point line on the season -- proved to be decisive in the final match. Despite being undersized even for a point guard, he proved to be a scrappy player, taking more charges than any other point guard in the league. Wiggin was an excellent distributor, somehow averaging 10 assists per game without seeming to dominate the ball on offence. At times, he allowed his small forwards to run the offence as point forwards, using his quickness to cut to the basket, catch a pass and either make an easy layup or a quick behind-the-back pass to a waiting big in the paint for a decisive dunk.
After the victory, Wiggin announced that rather than entering the NBA draft, he would be retiring.
quote:"He's pretty impressive for a kid his age. Even though he's two, three, four years younger than everybody else, he certainly doesn't seem out of place."
quote:Originally posted by Mucus: Locutus of Borg Football, Forward
Lost all games, never scoring a single shot. "Goals are irrelevant." In the end, the gold, silver, and bronze medals were all won in 0-0 tied games.
Forty-eight players. All Borg. [/QB]
He'd win just because, by the end of the game, there wouldn't be any members of the opposing team left. Just a bunch of new drones.
Posts: 1321 | Registered: Sep 1999
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). Who are some of your favorite fictional characters and what might they be like as athletes? Feel free to draw from any work of fiction.
