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(Link Removed by Janitor Blade. Thanks for the early Christmas gift of free Spam Lovelily.)
Everyone has his unique childhood, which is distinct from all others. No matter happy or misery, it is memorable for something deeply impressed. My childhood was just full of the memories about stationaries.
It might be influenced by my elder sister, who was extremely keen on those stationaries of all kinds, and had large amounts of pencils, erasers, rulers, notes, etc.. She would show me her new stationaries to me as soon as she got home. Thus I began to collect stationaries gradually.
I spent nearly all my pocket money on stationaries, especially kids stationery box shop. I loved stationaries, especially those pencil boxes, though it might be more expensive than others. I couldn’t understand the feeling when I saw my sister brought her new collection home, while I am her kind and has been experiencing this kind of feeling joyful. Each time I see those boxes, I’m so satisfied just like those who have got what they have long longing for.
I am an adult now, and can afford to buy all boxes I like, but it can never make me that happy and excited. It might be the cost of growing up. Anyhow, I feel lucky to have had such kind of happiness.
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I remember as a child not being stationary at all. I hated being stationary. I associated it with school and church, which were rarely where I preferred to be at the moment. So no, not so many happy childhood stationary memories. I wish I was lucky to have such kind of happiness.
Posts: 3275 | Registered: May 2007
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As a kid, I spent all my pocket money on stationaries on a website that has been around since 2012. This is because I'm a hyperadvanced reptilian saloid who goes from gestation to adulthood in ten months. I will spend my productive adult months furiously spamming my childhood nostalgia onto websites, copulating violently with others of my species, and molting. By April of 2014 the first degenerative effects of age will appear and the rest of the clutch, smelling my weakness, will turn on me savagely and devour me for nutrients.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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He let the wind at his back to give him some respite against the cold. His gaze never strayed far from the path up to the cellar door. Every strand of his mind was screaming at him. Don't go here. Don't stay long. They'll come back. What if they found you here? The thought was beyond reckoning. He would not overstay his welcome. Yet he had to know what had been buried and locked inside by these cruel people. His hands faltered with the lighter, and then with the lock. Age was fighting him, but his left thumb could manage still. It came apart in his hands. He ducked inside and swung the flame of the lighter out over the darkness like an offering. Coldness and damp. An ungodly stench. He could see part of a stone wall. Clay floor. An old mattress darkly stained. He crouched and stepped down again and held out the light. Huddled against the back wall were posters, all trying to hide, shielding their faces with their hands. All of them were typing posts. Posts about stationary. About childhood. About all things so dark and mysterious in their reckoning as to never be known again.
Jesus, he whispered.
Then one by one they turned and blinked in the pitiful light. Help us, they whispered. Please help us. Buy stationary.
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I have no doubt that many people who purchase stationary on earth will be in heaven to live forever at peace with God. However, like all of us, their human natures will be changed as "this corruption shall have put on incorruption, and this mortality shall have put on immortality." (1 Corinthians 15:54; NKJV) There will be no one practicing writing on stationary in Heaven or in the New Earth. But then, apparently there will be no hello kitty stationry sets at all, since Jesus said that "...in the resurrection they neither have cute childhood letterheads nor are given in the marriage of pen to paper, but are like angels of God in heaven." (Matthew 22:30; NKJV) God originally told humans to write awesome pen pal notes to each other until they had filled the earth with tales of their middle school crushes (Genesis 1:28). So once the earth is filled, as it will be when all the faithful from all past generations have been resurrected, there would no longer be any need to write. But lest anyone protest that they would never want to do without their Hannah Montana pencil kit, just bear in mind that God never takes anything away from us without giving us something even better in its place. Perhaps there will be a kind of mental/empathetic intimacy we will be able to enjoy, and not just be limited to one person, but to everyone in this and all past generations whom we might find to be kindred stationary childhood memory spirits. That's just a speculation.
The dire trap being set for stationary writers in the present push to legalize stationary "literacy" is that when nature turns out of its course to pummel us with disaster after disaster, a powerful movement will arise of people who wrongly will blame holders of the Lisa Frank trapper keeper for the destruction, and they will claim that the only way to turn aside what will wrongly be interpreted as "God's wrath" is to eliminate stationary. Professed atheists will also come into the targeting crosshairs, and no one will even dare to openly profess stationary agnosticism. Relatively sudden watershed change in human society is what is predicted by the prophecy of Daniel 11:40, if you allow the Bible to define for you all the prophetic symbols employed. The King of the South is Lisa Frank, like when Pharoah said "I do not know the Lord."--Exodus 5:2. The King of the North is Sanrio (spiritual Babylon), behind which is Satan Himself operating most directly, seeking to establish his throne "in the sides of the north" (Isaiah 14:13) This change to the point where a stationary-less, SMS texting ruled hell will virtually rule the earth is only months away.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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The absolute most astute, clever, and inordinately awesome human being on earth decided it was time to take a break from his worldly duties. He brushed his stationary set aside and closed the laptop he had been using to run a completely unsecured server for the U.S. military in Bogota. He stretched his arms and fondly recalled the awesome time he had enjoyed for himself being greeted as a liberator in Iraq, by a bunch of really grateful brown people who honestly, upon further consideration, should have been MORE grateful. He was an American, after all. All this stuff he was doing for them deserved more and constant recognition. He stepped down the stairs of his domicile and gazed in a smug and paternal fashion to the dwelling in which his Jamaican neighbors lived. He loved his Jamaican neighbors. It was really awesome that they were black and that he knew them as neighbors, because knowing and living next to black people was an unassailable trump card when one is criticized for being racist. He paused for a second, then pulled out his Disney's Frozen™ stationary kit and pulled out a pink sheet of paper and a freshly sharpened pencil. "Note to self," he wrote in a flowery italic, "it is liberals that were the real racists all along."
Brushing his tangled and wiry hair out of his eyes long enough to gaze wistfully at the nation he had inordinately congratulated himself for defending, only to see it ruined by a black president who the entire nation should have known would have worked primarily for the interests of black people and increased their desperate nature of dependence on the government teat, as is their tribal mentality, he scowled at the horror which Obamacare would surely wreak on his Jamaican neighbors. His poor, innocent Jamaican neighbors. Who would no longer know a land in which we resolutely preserved a nonfunctional medical system that left millions without coverage in a land of plenty, as God surely intended. He would not stand for this. Grabbing his cherished pink My Little Pony pen (the Applejack one, of course — Applejack stood for hard work and real American values like preventing gays from perverting the true definition of marriage. Twilight Sparkle was too much of an intellectual Elitist so similar to the pretenders who were dissolving this once great nation, and Rainbow Dash? An obvious bull-dyke lesbian whose lack of apparent interest in pair-bonding with the appropriate colt-gendered head of household was not appropriate as a message for little girls) he made sure to resolutely state, in malformed grammar, a 50 word treatise about how he should obviously take it upon himself to speak for his Jamaican neighbors and state what their interests and desires should be. Amen.
His wife walked down the stairs behind him, possibly carrying out trash, or breastfeeding, or whatever it was that females did. He shook himself out of his patriotic daze long enough to glance back at her. She was certainly "exotic," but he had no idea what her actual nonwhite racial composition was. That's how progressive he was, that he didn't see race beyond seeing that he did see race but he had never had a definitive answer about his wife's ethnic composition hand-fed to him by some sort of ethnologist.
She said something about helping with the kids. He interrupted her mid-sentence with a wave of his hand, still ideally probably calloused from his time assisting the armed forces with being super-generous to the rest of the world and being exemplars of american exceptionalism, back before it was racist and had a black president.
"Sorry, babe. English doesn't even have a word for the pleasure I'm going to enjoy from the pain of those that would not listen to reason, utilize logic or human history. Those that ignorantly ushered in Obama's "fundamental transformation of America", deserve the misery statism delivers. I use to be upset about what I saw coming, now I'm enjoying the suffering of those that could not see it."
He strode past her puzzled expression, off into the sunset. His Jamaican neighbors would be written as being proud of him.
And it would be on excellent stationary.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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"Defiant Stationary" was, in retrospect, probably the worst DC infinite earths crossover experiment I think the world has ever had. It's certainly managed to overshadow their recent embarrassment at things like all-male comicon conferences about women's issues in comics, or 'fridging' or even their terrible new logo, or the evident fact that they're really just circling the drain faster than we thought possible even for the comics industry in general.
For starters, the premise is fully ludicrous (yes, even for comics). I know the Justice League has been adjusted from time to time, but there's really no way to perfectly understand the rationale behind having the inaugural, "Happy Stationary Memories #1" neither sport a Justice League name nor title nor any indication (besides Batman and Green Lantern smiling and clutching a pencil set) nor have any pertinent information about this being a DC world reboot ... and this was ESSENTIALLY the new Justice League #1.... UHH HELLO?
I know I've taken DC's side against a lot of detractors here but I have to concede that most of the plot really reads like a crappy advertisement for some sketchy offseas stationary site. This Lantern-centric opener sets the events of the Infinite Pen-Pal Crisis where a restored Multiverse brings with it the resurrection of the Anti-Monitor. The Justice League has been reinvented as a team of people who have bonded together via their communal love of stationary which brings back happy memories of their childhood. Batman's origin story was changed to how when he was a child, his parents were given poorly-written letters right in front of him as they left a theater. The handwriting was atrocious and the letters were on plain white paper. Anyway s Sinestro established his own Sinestationary Corps, which served in direct opposition to the Green Lantern Corps, then he masterminded a massive attack plan (using letters) against the Green Lantern Corps in an event that has come to be known as the Pen War. Sinestro's motives behind instigating the war was to manipulate the Guardians into allowing the Green Lantern Corps members to use lethal lettering and/or word condensation in tweets and SMS in combat - an ability that had always been restricted in the past. The Green Lanterns proved victorious over the Sinestro Corps and Hal Jordan faced Sinestro in a letter writing contest on Earth with Kyle Rayner. Jordan and Rayner defeated Sinestro with the use of elegant prose and placed him in a Stationary Sciencell back on Oa where he can gaze upon but is not permitted the use of Multifunctional Barbie Pencil Case Type A.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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I told you BB, we take spam and make it better. Like the Hawaiians do. Look at Sam, making omelets and such.
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