I have been here two years today!!! (well not just today, but I've been here two years over the last two years).
To celebrate, I've decided to sit naked in front of my computer and get a few things off my chest.
First of all, GET OFF MY LAWN!!! How many times do I have to tell you people.
Next, I'd just like to compliment everyone. I'm not going to name names because I view Hatrack as a gestalt phenomenon (take that, you meme-jockeys) that it is best not to separate into its constituent parts. That and I have such a bad memory that I would certainly offend 1/2 the people I would like to compliment. So, consider yourselves in my thoughts, if I could only retrieve them.
Thirdly, this place is very important to me. I would like to acknowledge the efforts of Kathryn, our beloved janitor and of course Mr. & Mrs. Card for their continued efforts and for spending the money to keep this place afloat. Without it, I'd be off on some political discussion site trying to 'zing' people. What emptiness...
Quarterly, I would like to take a moment of silence for those who are not with us today, but who have made such an impact on this place. Again, I won't mention names because their absence means that I've mostly forgotten them, but still we feel their presence as if it was only yesterday when they did what they did or said what they said. To our absent friends!!!
Cinquentially, I'd like to borrow some money. Just enough to pay for my move to Hawaii and ensure that I never have to work for a living again. This would give me the freedom to post a lot more and also maybe, if I feel like it, write the many novels that are rattling around in my head. So, you should really consider this an investment in your future entertainment and not so much as a loan. This should be an especially comforting viewpoint in later years as you reflect upon the fact that I've never paid you back.
Sixily, I would like to acknowledge the deep debt I already have to all of you for the past two years of personal growth. This place is like therapy for me, and I figure it has saved me well over $2,400 in psychiatric care, plus a similar amount in medications. Not that I don't still need help, mind you. Just that since I'm chained to the computer awaiting each new Hatrackian utterance, I'm less of a danger to myself and others.
Septilisimo, and Finalish, it makes me all tingly inside when I think of how Hatrack has become a living being and a family. Sort of a big amoeba-like family with pseudopods (and a real POD) oozing forward and reabsorbing; vacuoles popping out through the membrane, only to be sucked back in later; the nucleus dividing and giving rise to new versions of ourselves; overwhelming the web with the spreading growth of pages and pages of posts, and thousands of threads. It is just a beautiful thing to be a part of.
If only I looked as good as Leto. My life would be complete.
[This message has been edited by Bob_Scopatz (edited September 07, 2002).]
lol... mae hit 1,000+ posts in 2 months... that means in a year she'll have 6,000+ and in 2 she'll have 12,000+... I think she's well equipped for the job
Posts: 738 | Registered: Jul 2002
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I shall endeavor to write a post worthy of this one. You are my idol. Just think, you believe that *I* have talent in writing my little humorous pieces.
I think you are one of the most entertaining people I know. I love your posts. Even when we've had disagreements ( and I can only think of one or two, and those were religion threads - and one reason why I'm sworn of those for the future), we've been able to treat each other with respect and come out of it still friends.
*sniff* I love you man! There are a few core people at Hatrack that made it impossible for me to stay away. I won't name them, because I'll forget some, but you're on the list, bud. One Bob Scopatz as my friend is worth 200 people spewing hatred at me. (not that there were 200 people, or anything like that - well, I'm sure you all know what I mean.)
Bob - my apologies for being a "fair-weather" (weekday) poster. Congrats on your two years - very exciting! It's good to know that people really do stick around here for that long. And I'm especially glad that you are one of those people.
Posts: 2661 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Bob, congratulations on being the most consistently funny person I've met online. Well, make that the second most consistently funny. The most consistently funny person I've ever met online was named Larry, who was a CPA, which you wouldn't think would lend itself to being a funny-person kind of profession, going to show me that all professions have their levity, even in beancounterland. I tried to get him to come to Hatrack, but he thought we were all way too smart for him. Actually, he said geeky. In truth, I think he was threatened at possibly losing his King of Consistently Funny title to you, Bob.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Hey, Bob. Remember the word of the day thread?
Because of your incredibly, icnreasingly hilarious usages and then your dang blasted persistence in updating it after the unfortunate demise of Dobie (in Hatrack terms, people, I'm not saying that he's actually dead) I kept getting sucked back into that vortex and then checking other threads while I was around and so grew to love you all and thus became so addicted to the hatcrack that here I am. Today. Right now. Posting on this thread.
It's all your fault, and God bless you for it, man.
I'm still waiting for my anniversary present. According to Brewer's, the 2 year present is cotton, so I'm expected some embroidered napkins, toot-suite.
Posts: 10132 | Registered: Apr 2001
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I'm very sorry I didn't mention you outright. I thought you would've been pleased with the burnt offering and the copious incense, but I should've known you are a jealous muse and are a fellow attention-seeker.
In the future I will acknowledge you in all my dealings. I've already put your name on my business cards.
You are the grease that oils the wheel of Hatrack. Heck, you are the hubcap.
In all the time I've known you here, Bob, I've never seen you be less than a gentleman. Always a kind word, a thoughtful insight, a terribly stinky pun, whatever -- but never to make less of others, never to detract from this place.
You've never done any unmaking. Wow, more than 7000 posts, and what a record.
For me, you are quintessential Hatrack:
"the fifth and highest element in ancient and medieval philosophy that permeates all nature and is the substance composing the celestial bodies; the essence of a thing in its purest and most concentrated form; the most typical example or representative."
Yep, pretty much what you are, all but that last bit. Were you only more typical of Hatrack, Bob. (The only way I'd love ya more is if you were twins! )
[This message has been edited by ClaudiaTherese (edited October 25, 2002).]