Well...here goes. It's not cool, like Moose's...or really poignant like Belle's...just me. Sorry to those who are disappointed.
I guess I'm lucky to be typing this at all...according to what I am told, I was not easy to come by. 14 years worth of trying hard. I guess you could say I was a long awaited human...*grins* I also developed my habit of arriving early, well, early. I arrived 3 weeks early for my own birth. Needless to say, this worried my parents greatly. It also put me in the hospital for the 1st month or so of my life. I'm not exactly sure...even though I was there, it's not really clear.
But, I came home safely, and settled down into normal life in Omaha, NE. Well, as normal as it ever got with me, mom and dad. This was a fairly boring stage in my life. Probably why I don't remember it. And why I'll skip it.
My life as a little kid didn't resemble anything that most kids my age experienced. I never went to daycare, preschool, any of that. Actually, I've never gone to school...ever. Homeschooler to the core. But even then, I didn't do much 'study'. I read voraciously, spent a lot of time outside, and in my imagination. Oh, and I was obsessed with legos. I actually got a pretty good education, in the learning sense. The other parts I missed, like the social parts...well, those would come back to bite me later. Anyway, I was a pretty happy kid back then. No cares, no worries...just me.
We lived in Omaha until I was 7...then we moved down to Missouri, a place I have come to love for some of its more beautiful parts. Part of the reason was so I could continue homeschooling...NE at that time had a law requiring all children over 7 to be enrolled in public school.
Things got more interesting down here. Here I got some of my first real friends, thanks to a local homeschooling group, and other experiences...which I will mention later.
Still, life was pretty much just me, mom and dad. I got out among kids more...made some good friends among the local homeschoolers, some of whom I still know. But the first real shock to my life was soon to shock of my life was still upcoming. (aside from that time I stuck a paperclip in a light socket.)
At age 11, you could enroll in some youth classes at the local college. I, thinking it might be fun, took the criminology course. There, I got my first real encounter with 'schooler' kids. Needless to say, I excelled in the class. I answered all the questions, everything...which was my problem. I was immediately attacked for answering too many questions...for being to smart. I didn't know how to deal with it. I hadn't encountered any kids so...cruel.
It hurt a lot. But I got over it. And instead of drawing back, I got involved in more stuff. The local youth acting program, which I loved, homeschooler activities, bowling league...and my true sport, martial arts. While I may like other sports, I loved this. Maybe because I got to actually punch people...maybe because I was talented in it. Look where it's gotten me! I'm a brown belt now, with eyes set on black...and loving it.
Around age 13, I met my best friend ever. Met him in the bowling league I was in. Cool kid, a lot like me. It was weird...we we like yin and yang...balancing eachother. Unfortunately, it didn't hold together. His mother died, and he had to go live with his dad in Ohio. I tried to keep in touch...but it didn't work. I still kinda miss him.
Anyway...on to the rest of my life. Around 14, well, I hit a very rough patch. Add one serious bout of barfophobia, a friendship falling apart, family financial probs...a very nasty case of ex-friend backstabbing...and you got major Jonathan depression. It was very hard...I got a bit suicidal at times, too. I didn't do it, obviously...partly because of music. I'd listen to music like Creed...and hear a kinda promise of better things. Also, I didn't want to make my parent's feel bad. Anyway, I'm still here, and not suicidal. I have pulled out of it...though I'm prone to deep funks at times.
And then you get me, as of now. Still here, not doing too bad. I write now...not as much as I did when I was more angry/sad/depressed/etc. I've even enrolled in a writing course, and am doing well. I volunteer at the hospital now, and of course, martial arts is still a big thing in my life. And the computer...though mom says it's turning into an obsession. I get angry at my parents more than me now...but that's okay, I hear that's normal. And, while not totally friendless, I am a bit phobic about interacting f2f. But I' doing okay.
As for what's to come? I dunno. It may seem weird, but I really dream about finding the 'right girl', getting married, having kids. The wanting to become a parent thing is really strong. I wonder if it'll wear off when the hormones do? But as for the rest...I'll see what comes!
I hope this wasn't too confusing/boring/disjointed. Thanks for taking the time to read! Now, go on...you must have something better to do, now that I'm done!
Cool. Know how you feel for being hated (or having people be cruel) just for being smart. Sucks and I hear ya. Thanks for this little window into your thoughts.
Posts: 9750 | Registered: Jul 2002
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You are a pretty good man in my opinion. I don't hold a large vast majority of people in that group. Sure I disagree with you all the time, but I respect your thoughts more then you might think. You peace lovin guy
Posts: 1752 | Registered: May 2001
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Ah, to have 2000 posts at such a young age. You are definitely ahead of the curve.
Thanks for sharing your story (so far) with us. I think you are an interesting person and I had no idea you'd been homeschooled your entire life!!! I do hope you find ways to advance the social part of yourself. It'd be a loss to the rest of the world if you don't share more with as many as you can.
We've all been burned by supposed friends (and lovers). Anyone with a heart has it happen eventually, sometimes more than once. Don't let it stop you, okay? We need more Humans in this world.
Just a question, do you think you'll homeschool your own kids when you have them?
Very interesting, despite the paper clip part..eek..but I understand how you feel when you first met schoolers. I'm dealing with it now because I go "Overboard" with every project I do. Even if it's a minor thing or a major one, so many people are jealous of me then decide to hate me.
I'm happy you didn't choose suicide and every person goes through that "I want/need the perfect mate" stage, as I presume. You will always find better friends, even though you don't go to school. Hopefully you will soon go, just to experience it. You'll more likely be in honors class anyhow. Well, best of fortune to you and keep a posting, Angelus!
Human, that waz a very good and interesting post. I've been through some similiar experiences, so I know exactly where you're coming from man. Keep going on w/ life, and I'm confident you will reach your dreams.
Keep those good hard rockin' tunes coming man, *high 5*
[This message has been edited by somedeadguy (edited September 14, 2002).]
Wow! I've been serfing as a new member and have read so many posts by Human that impressed me. I had a much older, "mature" image of you. 15 and so well spoken and thoughtful! I'm sure I will continue to be amazed by the bounty of intelligent, enlightened threads and continue to be awed by the wit and warmth of Human's humanity.
Posts: 17 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Since this popped back up, and I too live in MO, I figured I might add--good 2000er.
Perhaps we'll do a MO Hatrack get together some day. You can get in trouble asking 15 year old young men where they live, but next time you head up to St. Louis, give a holler and we can do lunch or something.