It's taken eighteen months, but I finally stuck it out on a single username long enough to accumulate 1000 posts (exactly 100 of which are from this past week alone lol). I've been debating for some time now whether I should actually do a landmark post but, as one jatraquera said to me when I asked if I should, "why not?"
I was born November 11th, 1986 in Fairfax Hospital. Fairfax County, a rather disturbingly politically correct region of the US just south of the District of Columbia, is the only place I've ever lived. We moved once when I was 5 and then again (this time only my mother, brothers, and I) when my parents separated and got back together about 4 years.
My parents' marriage has been a fairly large influence in my life. My earliest memory (no joke) is of hiding behind the couch crying because they were fighting again. I think I was 2 then because that couch was given to charity when I 3. In any event, the fighting eventually got so bad that, when combined with being ostracized at my school, I nearly suicided sometime during the third grade (I was either 7 or 8). At times I can not believe how nearsighted it was of me to want to take my own life, to think that there was nothing worth living for. I know better now, though, and I thank whatever higher being that is "up there" that I didn't go through with it.
In elementary school I was always the "smart" kid that didn't see the point in doing their homework (another lesson I learned and am still learning far later than I should have). I started taking honors courses in the 7th grade and somehow ended up taking the SATs that same year as well. I don't remember exactly what my score was but I think I got something along the lines of 1030. In any event, it was enough to get me accepted into some crazy early entrance program at a state college. I eventually, however, decided not to go since 1. We didn't (and still don't) have the money to send me to college and 2. I thought it was best I get the high school "experience" over with. That was actually one of the better choices I've made.
Around the same time, my parents separated for the duration of about a month. My mother, two younger brothers, and I moved into a small townhouse and... well, it felt like heaven even though I spent most of that month working at a summmer dance intensive with the Kirov in DC. Dance was everything that kept me going for about 5 years and that summer, my last as a professional, was the very best. I was up at 6 AM for a quick snack before 4 hours of classes followed by 30 minutes of lunch, 4 more hours of classes, and then free time until 11 (lights out). I've never been so exhausted or worked so hard in all my life but never have I felt so accomplished either. This just made coming home that much better.
And, believe it or not (which I didn't), it actually was coming "home". I can't tell you the number of times I've cried myself to sleep in my own bed, in my own room, in my own house, while pleading "I want to go home". Now I just tell myself I'm leaving in two years and that I've survived over 14 already so where's the challenge? (Bonus points if you detected the false sense of bravado.)
Honestly, though, aside from my parents' constant arguements and Paul being gone (which, okay, is a lot of "not great" IMO), life recently has been great. I've finally learned how to (for the most part) deal with my parents' constant arguing and I'm starting to get a handle on my academics again as well (Three cheers for a 3.6 GPA, a 4 on AP exams, and a 1300 PSAT score! ) My best friend, Renae, is beyond amazing and though we're both moving this summer (she to Ohio, myself another 20 minutes away from DC) I will always remember the good times we had giggling madly in IB Chemistry, competing for top marks in Pre-IB English, and doing nothing but chatting until 5 AM.
Plans for the future: So far I'm still just researching schools but I've found a few I'm crazy about so we'll see what happens when the time comes. For now I'm planning on teaching English at the high school level once I get my certification. In the meantime, though, I'm just waiting for Paul (aka Black Fox) to come home, working hard both for myself and to deserve him, and am trying to be the best person I can.
I'll admit it, I falter in that rather often but I am trying and though it may sound naive, I really think that's all I can ask of anyone. Though... lol, I wouldn't dream of holding other people to my own standards as if I don't measure up to them myself, how can I rightly expect others to?
In any event, this is my 1000th post and that's a little about me.
Posts: 1548 | Registered: Aug 2002
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It's been really great being your friend, Pixie! I'm honored to know you. You and Paul have my best wishes and complete faith, high hopes, and all my love.
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
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I told you I'd put something more then that smiley, and after much thought (okay, some ), I still don't know what to say *grins*
You're a terrific person. I wish you all the best in the future, you deserve much happiness. I enjoyed reading a bit about your life, and I've enjoyed learning about you well talking to you. You're an interesting person and I look foreword to many more chats
Pixie, you really are a terrific person. You always have some nice thing to say and I always enjoy your random little "Hello, how are you?"'s. Congrats!
Posts: 9752 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Pixie, you were among the first people to welcome me after I changed my lurker-status into a semi-poster status, and since then you've been nothing but friendly to me (and everyone else)...so thanks for being you!
Very touching post, I might add.
Good luck to you and BlackFox, although by the kind of people I know you two to be, I hardly think you'll need it!
Love you, Pix! Cool of you to share with us.
I remember my parents' fighting all the time, and what a relief the separations were. I sympathize with you, there. Their eventual divorce was one of the best things things that ever happened to any of us, actually. It was horrid for a while, but they miraculously ended up on better terms than they ever had been.
Um, but anyway... I just wanted you to know that I've been there, and you CAN make it through and still have a successfull marriage of your own. *hugs*
Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Pixie, I'm glad you posted this. I didn't know a lot about you, and I'm glad that I know more now. I wish you and Foxy all the luck in the world.
Posts: 1550 | Registered: Jun 1999
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