posted
When Annie was little, she used to love going places with her Papa. Sometimes he would take her messin' around, a throwback from his Texas upbringing that involved running sundry errands and buying the child a token ice cream pop at a gas station on the way home. The child found this vastly entertaining, even when Papa would teach her to count in French as they drove. He would make her repeat after him: "Un… deux… trois…" just to see how long she would count with him before getting exasperated.
When 3-year-old Annie would demand, "When are we gonna be done?" he took the opportunity to explain to her that numbers never end, that even if you think of the biggest number you can, there is always something bigger than that. She formulated in her little 3-year-old brain a way to visualize the numbers as she learned them. Even though she hadn't been taught the concept of odd and even numbers, the numbers in her head alternated between blue and orange as they lined up in a hopscotch-like path. 1 through 10 went upwards, and then the teen numbers turned at a 90 degree angle to the right. The teen numbers were all red. 20 was blue, and the twenties were light blue, and they extended the hopscotch path out to the right, until they got to 30, at which point the numbers turned green and started stacking upward again. After 40, the numbers got a little more indistinct and they were all a maroonish color, continuing upwards to a hundred. To this day, when Annie does mental math or even thinks of a number, she pictures it in its proper color and lined up in its proper spacial position. She was always good at math, but didn't pursue it. Today, she rarely uses math in any formal sense, though she does enjoy mentally adding up prices of groceries as she shops so she can present the cashier with exact change as soon as the total is rung up. Math is for fun little games like that, nothing more.
When Annie was 4, she went to the zoo with Grandma and Grandpa, the new fun friends she lived with for a year when her family first moved to Denver. After a long day seeing the animals and endlessly tormenting her baby brother Max, it was all she could do to stay awake in the car. But she asked Grandpa as they drove away, "Grandpa, what does p-a-c-h-y-d-e-r-m spell?" Grandpa was confused. "Where do you see that?" "It was on the elephant house," she answered. Grandpa was surprised, but like always, took the time to explain to her what a pachyderm is and as soon as they got home let her look up animals on his Apple IIE computer, a machine that would entertain her throughout her formative years with games like Kidwriter, Oregon Trail, and Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego. Years later, as 12-year-old Annie competed in the Colorado State Spelling Bee, pachyderm would be one of the words on the written test that would squeak her into the finals by one point. Unfortunately, in a spat of over-confidence, she would strike out during the first round of the finals on the dastardly word mutagenic, giving her 24th place. Her literary career suffered a temporary slump following this tragic event, and it was only after years of heartbreak and frightening attempts at cowboy poetry that she would return to writing in college.
When Annie was 5, her Papa explained to her, to the best of his knowledge, what had happened in Chernobyl, Ukraine, that the people on the news were so upset about. This event, along with two others, would instill Annie with one of her greatest childhood fears. In an episode of Unsolved Mysteries several years later, witnesses of a spaceship accident were exposed to dangerous levels of radiation and developed cancer, adding to this fear as well as creating in her a Pavlovian reaction to the show's spooky theme music. The final contributing factor came in 3rd grade, when the teacher read to the class Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes, in which a Japanese girl dies of leukemia several years after the atomic bomb is dropped. Her fear of radiation and nuclear bombs grew as the years progressed, rivaled only by her fear of aliens. Strangely enough, in junior high, she would start reading science fiction as a way to confront her fears, and became fascinated with the atom and the physical world. Though she's a science amateur and has no credentials higher than high school AP classes to her name, she secretly collects the works of Stephen Hawking, Carl Sagan, and Richard Feynman and whispers the science answers each time she watches Jeopardy.
School was easy for Annie, and speaking was easy for Annie, who took up extemporaneous speaking and ended up competing nationally. It seemed to her friends sometimes that everything came easily to her. And a lot of things did.
But some things didn't. Among these were foremost art and love.
Art was the one class she constantly pulled Bs in. She had a natural eye and was a good renderer, but her visions just never quite made it to the page. Her technique was always one touch too sloppy, her perspective one degree off, her color just a little unnatural. So she had to work on it, dangit. She had to try. Her last minute thrown together piece wouldn't dazzle her art teacher like it would the speech coach or the English teacher. Her art teacher, a great man named Mr. Mickelson would tell her he knew she could do better and give her a C. She hated it. And she loved it. She tried two years in a college degree that she could cram and procrastinate her way through, but she was never happy until she got back to what made her work and made her frustrated and made her cry and made her try. And though she's come a long way, she'll still be lucky if she pulls a B in design this semester.
And then there was the female side of Annie that she never quite knew what to do with. She was a pudgy, nerdy girl for most of her life who had the atrocious habits of listening to country music and hanging out with 4-H kids. Too embarrassed to miss her senior prom after sitting out her junior prom, she got up the gumption to ask a guy friend to go with her since she wasn't being asked. He said he would, and she was elated. She finally got to dress up, and her mom's friend at the beauty salon was doing her hair, and the night would be perfect, because finally she felt like she might be a lady.
And prom night came. And she got her hair done. And she got home in time to put on her dress, in time to put on the finishing touches... and just in time to answer the phone when her date called to say something else came up. And though Annie wouldn't find out until a few days later that he spent the whole night watching movies at a friend's house, it still hurt. She didn't cry, though. She just sat on the couch and thought for a minute. But her Mama went downstairs and cried. And her Mama called the hairstylist and they both cried. And Annie decided that she wasn't going to ruin her makeup, so she got in the truck and drove to the prom and went by herself. And a chivalrous friend of hers offered to walk her down grand march so she could say she was escorted to the prom. And he made a point to dance half of the last dance with her, and his date gladly approved, and it was then that Annie learned that love is a lot bigger than looking pretty and riding in the limo and getting the right guy to ask you out. Love is something about how you treat your fellow beings. Love is a lot more satisfying than the country singers make it out to be, because even when you're single and frumpy and spending most Friday nights at home, you are always surrounded by people you can love, people with whom you can learn to perfect your capacity for love.
It took a few more years of romantic adventures and melodramatic heartbreaks with her personal Mr. Willoughbies before Annie would finally come to terms with romantic love. And she didn't even have to worry or suffer or twist her ankle in a torrential rain storm this time. This time, her dashing Colonel Brandon found her quite by accident, in a friendly place she had frequented on and off for years, in an online community (much to the amusement of her rommates) where she had learned the beauty of making friends based on the inside before you knew the outside.
Her hero this time was everything she honestly needed. Foremost, he was kind and compassionate and humble. As a bonus, he was brilliant and left brained and perfectly complemented to her artistic tendencies. And as icing on the cake, he was taller than her and quite adorable. And Annie loved him almost immediately in a calm and trusting way. She doesn't worry every morning whether or not he's going to call and tell her that her dream is cancelled and he has other things to do. After all these years surrounded by wonderful people and friends who showed her what true love and compassion can be, she finally has a chance to work with it on her own… to tackle that most challenging project and keep on striving to get the As that don't come so easy.
So Annie now faces the future with the memories of the past securely behind her, good and bad, and with her own hero at her side to help her through whatever the future holds.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
(((((Annie))))) That was so cool! My numbers are gonna be colored now too.
quote: And Annie loved him almost immediately in a calm and trusting way. She doesn't worry every morning whether or not he's going to call and tell her that her dream is cancelled and he has other things to do.
posted
Beautiful. I'm so glad I've become friends with you. You are awesome. And a wonderful writer. And artist. (((Annie))) Yay! This calls for ^_^
Posts: 1658 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Wow, our little Annie has grown up! <sniffles> Gosh, I remember when you used to be on hatrack all those many years ago on the Big Mouth Lion. When I started hanging out there, half the threads on the board, it seemed, were started by Morgan Majors. You must have been 15 or 16 then.
It's been a pleasure watching you grow. Here's to another decade on hatrack! <raises glass of bubbly diet coke> Posts: 968 | Registered: Sep 2003
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I'm growing more and more fond of landmark posts lately.
Annie, from what I have learned of you since I came to Hatrack, you are someone that I truly admire. You certainly brighten up this community. I'm also so very happy for you and Hobbes. It seems that you two are rather perfect for each other. Congratulations!
Posts: 1635 | Registered: Aug 2002
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Anneke, lady, I can't say anything more about this except that you're amazing. I envy you your skills and your intelligence and your love. I'm glad to count you as one of my friends. (((((Annie)))))
Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
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What a beautiful post, Annie! I really liked it, especially the part about your prom and what it taught you about love. And the number visualizations are very interesting.
Annie, you were one of the first people I chatted with on AIM regularly a few weeks ago, after those fun Trivial Pursuit on AIM weekends. I just wanted to say thanks for being a friend. I really needed some friends back then.
When is the next AIM trivia party anyhow? Maybe this friday or Saturday night?
Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
Sometime in the middle of 1997, 15-year-old Richard found his way onto this website he'd seen OSC refer to in a preface here or there. A crush on a girl named Morgan inspired him to make his first post on an online bulletin board. The time they spent tag-teaming those quaint old debates was short in duration, but immeasurable in effect no matter how far apart their interests scattered.
His numbers are always stacked in threes. Color is for musical keys, though. I give this thread a D-major gold star.
I'm getting the feeling that I've missed some big RL details, but whatever they are, a part of me will always be jealous.
Posts: 1839 | Registered: May 1999
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quote: through 10 went upwards, and then the teen numbers turned at a 90 degree angle to the right. The teen numbers were all red. 20 was blue, and the twenties were light blue, and they extended the hopscotch path out to the right, until they got to 30, at which point the numbers turned green and started stacking upward again
I was amazed -- I thought I was the only one who thought of numbers in this way in my head -- in a certain line going different directions depending on where we are in the number line. However, my numbers aren't in color like yours (I don't think or remember in color, sadly )
I have wanted for some time to write my "life story" as a kind of novel -- but just for my kids/family, not for real publication. But I always stumble on just how to get it started and whether to do first person/third person, etc. When all of you write your landmark posts, you give me real insight on how to present "talking about self" and I hope someday I will actually start the book.
posted
Wow, that was a great story! It even made me look up what you meant by Colonel Brandon and the Willoughbies...
Posts: 1423 | Registered: Sep 2003
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I also thought I was the only one who pictured numbers that way. My numbers are all in kind of a slanted stack up to 100, which is big and bold. Then they turn right and kind of curl upward again in a right diagonal line to 1000. 500 is a dark green.
I picture the alphabet this way, too, although the line of letters starts at the top with A, and then kind of turns and twists a lot until it gets down to the bottom with Z.
I picture the year as a big, squashed loop, and have a very clear picture of it no matter where we are in the year.
Someday I'll have to do a drawing of these images. I think it would be good art. My wife would think I've finally gone and cracked up good and proper.
Nice landmark post, Annie. It is hard to imagine why anyone would not absolutely love you to pieces. Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Not much more I can say that hasn't been said. Just thanks for being you and bringing some cheer to this site today, and every day.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Annie, so very, very lovely. May you never lose that sense of romance with your love, and may you continue to grow and sparkle and shine here and out there.
That was a brilliant, insightful post, a great example of a landmark. You've definitely been a standout on Hatrack for me, and I also appreciate your contributions to Sakeriver. It wouldn't be what it is without you, and neither would Hatrack.
I hate to be a downer, but there was one part of your story that made me a little sad. Well, more than one part, but all the rest were made better by the end. And this one part is a selfish thing, so maybe I shouldn't even be posting it in a thread that's supposed to be about celebrating you. But, I figure we're friends, and friends can be honest, right?
quote:Math is for fun little games like that, nothing more.
I know you didn't really mean anything by it, but jabs at math always sting a little. I suppose I'm just a little too sensitive, but I just wish there weren't such a stigma against math, and, by extension, people who like it. Being interested in and good at things like art, literature, performance, debate, politics, history, and the like makes a person interesting, thought-provoking, wise, or profound. Being interested in mathematics, science, and technology makes a person nerdy, possibly greedy, shallow, or soulless. I dunno, I guess I just wish what contributions I could make to the world could be seen as just as important as what creative types do.
But I know you were just talking about your own relationship with numbers, so I shouldn't let my own insecurities take over.
I'm really glad to know you, and I am very happy for you and Hobbes (even if it did mean more tiger kisses than I was comfortable with). Congratulations on 3000.
Posts: 4534 | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:This time, her dashing Colonel Brandon found her quite by accident, in a friendly place she had frequented on and off for years, in an online community (much to the amusement of her rommates) where she had learned the beauty of making friends based on the inside before you knew the outside.
And then she got to know the real inside of him when she found out he was actually a super intelligent man eating tiger.
posted
Thanks everyone for your comments. *big group hug* I'm honestly very greatful for the community of friends I have here at Hatrack.
Mike, I'm sorry my wording made me sound like I was impugning the fine world of math. I was speaking merely from my own perspective here, and this is mostly me "settling" for my poor relationship with math, and I think it has something to do with the only bad grade of my life being in calculus because I "didn't apply myself."
I actually really admire mathematical and scientific minds and idolize them. I fully understand the importance and even the beauty of math in our culture. I also get all swoony at math-love analogies I'm sorry if my late-night wording made me sound condescending - I am quite of the opposite persuasion, I assure you. Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
So the Hobbes connection is not just an inside joke? Congrats. (Isn't he like 5 years your junior, or is my Hatrack memory dimmer than I recall?) His profile location must be out of date, but that's ok, because the old picture on his website is worth the anachronism -- it looks exactly like I did at 15!
Anyhoo, I'm glad to see Hatrack has grown to the point of fostering trans-picnic relationships. (It frightens me when I see the Ars-induced marriage count climb without having a reference point.) My first (!) milestone is approaching, so I better get crackin'...
Posts: 1839 | Registered: May 1999
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Saxon, the only way math ability is perpetuated in the species is for women to pretend they don't have it. The main reason is to believably let men think they beat you at games that rely on adding points.
Seriously, I think it's a shame too and someday I'm going back to college and get a Ph.D. in Biochemistry.
Edit: I can't believe I forgot this: Congrats Annie! Maybe you can give Rhaegar that derelict prom date's address.
posted
Great landmark post, Annie! I do have a serious problem seeing you as pudgy and nerdy...you're *beautiful*. The prom guy will be eating his heart out if you go back for your reunions.
Your writing was so picturesque that it made me sad that *I* don't see numbers in color. Beautifully written! Congratulations to us at Hatrack for having you here!
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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I don't see numbers as colours, but they do arrange themselves in different sizes and long straight lines. The bigger the number, the smaller the letters that make up the number.
Yay, visual math!
Congratulations on 3000 and a beautiful post... Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Hobbes, your post almost inspired me to use some of the new smilies. I then realized that my hatred for the new smilies outweighs my desire to spite you.
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I have no idea whether Gail is a) an oldie in disguise and joking b) a real newbie and joking c) a newbie and not joking d) a computer program or e) all of the above.
But I liked your post Annie. I find the idea of thinking of numbers that way fascinating: i've never visualised stuff like that.
And after a stroll around the Foobonic photo galleries I also agree that you and Hobbes make a very cute couple.
posted
Interestingly, Gail's only other post was also dismissive of Annie. But talked up Annie's alter ego, oddly enough. I think imogen's #d seems most likely.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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