Restless and determined, I decided to run up another mountain. Have to get rid of the energy, I speed north to Mount Major, a little mountain with a 2.5 mile trail and 1000 ft of elevation gain. I arrive and the parking lot is filled with others with the same ideaówithout the running bit. Their hike will be a leisurely stroll up a little mountain, while my hike will be a frenetic rush to the top.
In fifteen minutes, Iím nearly at the top. I get my first views of Lake Winnipesaukee below, the lake where I grew up. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I decide to drive to my fatherís home when Iíve finished my jaunt up the mountain. I see the islands where I sailed my little Sunfish in the choppy bays. Fighting the wind and water, dodging the speedboats, thrown everywhere, the water equivalent to my battle with my moods. A battle the moods are winning as I continue my ascent. Among some trees crowded together like people waiting for a train, I stop while a descending hiker, obviously an old pro, checks in with me. He sees my red, sweaty face and asks if Iím okay.
Sure, Iím fine. I usually hike in the White Mountains.
Youíre flying up the mountain.
My body doesnít know a slow speed. This is my usual pace.
When did you leave the trailhead?
Fifteen minutes ago.
Another five or ten minutes and youíll be at the top at your pace.
Have a good day.
He continues down the trail and I continue up. Another five minutes and I start to realize Iím nearly to the top. I look back from where I was and donít quite register the steepness of the trail. I begin the scramble to the summit cone, climbing up the steep rocks with abandon, ignoring the safer established routes because theyíre just plain boring.
A tree mimics how I feel: alone and battered, I donít want to go back down the mountain. Iíd rather stay in the cool wind on the top of the hill, watching everything from the safe spot where no one can reach me. But in reality, things are reaching out to the lonely tree. Trapped in the fight, the tree doesnít see it. I donít see my help. The tall trees have friends supporting themóI do as well, so I run up mountains, away from them.
The trail continues up. And twenty-five minutes from when I left the parking lot, I reach the summit. Only the sky above me. I canít run any further, Iím trapped at the top, fighting against going down. Itís all crooked and nothing makes any sense anymore. My thoughts donít connect, theyíre zooming out of my head in every direction.
You canít run away from those that care about you. The most helping and useful are more stubborn than you are. When you stop caring and start running, they chase you down and tackle you with words and reason until you are well.
I thank my friends.
I thank Hatrack.
I want to give a gift in return. This is my gift, for whomever is willing to take up on it. My gallery is open to you. Pick out your favorite photo, email me with your choice and address, and I will sent you an 8x10 enlargement.
mack, Sometimes I feel very boring. I feel as if I have to live vicariously through my friends. All of the drama: none of the pain. Well, with you, some of the pain. I'm glad you are becoming a little more boring. Qualifier alert! Hehe. I love this post. It makes me happy. It makes me a little scared, too, that you had to live through it. I love you, in that platonic *firm touch* way. *grin* PS--I want an 8x10 of 'summit goodness', the picture with your hand in it. It's shattering.
Lake Winnepesaukee! I've been there! My family had a cottage in NH that we went to every summer when I was little, and we would go swimming somewhere on Winnepesaukee where the water was so clear you could see the ripples in the sand. It's so exciting to hear about it and see pictures. Plus, I love the way you delivered your landmark, Mack. I'll email you with my favorite.
Posts: 1090 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Mack, I respect you. And I am wowed by your inventive, wonderful landmark. But the story and the pictures... It's too much. I thank you for giving it to us. (smiles) But I am too selfishly entranced by your pictures not to request one. Please forgive me for that.
Posts: 4812 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I am a former genral in the Canadian Armed forces, eh, who has escaped the recent conflicts with two hundreds million dollars (Cdn) and twelve Skyhawk helicopters--I am at present sitting in one, the other eleven have been stored in Newfundland--the bombs are falling now. I need a secured bank account in a developed nation in which to deposit this money (and some safety-deposit boxes for the Skyhawks). If you will only--wjhat is that smoke coming out of the turret?--if you will, dear friend, only respond with your persoanl account number I will condider sharing 1% (Cdn) of this koney with you. That is.......200 dollars (Cdn), for only your secured bank account number (and the safety-deposit boxes)--is that oil pressure gauge correct?--then fix it you fool!, eh. I eagerly await your prompt response--Mayday!
I am still looking. This is hard, you know. There can be only one. Hmmmmm... not so inticing when you'd like more than one, but I am not greedy just indecisive at the moment.
A suggestion. In my perusal of Cafepress, while making the Wenchcon T-shirt site, I noticed that they do create books. They ask you to upload a pdf of the document or work (very specific dimensions that are mentioned on the site) and also upload any cover graphics you would like. They have several options for binding. However, I am not sure how they would deal with photographs so that might require some more research.
Also, do a Google search for self-publishing sites. I'd buy your book.
Posts: 822 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Hmmm. What I've got in my own house for my printing and enlarging is a top of the line photographic quality printer (it's great, the images come out as if I'd enlarged them at a lab) and I found a place that makes photographic printer paper that's the same brand/weight as I use in the darkroom. So here, I have the capability to make 4x6 and 8x10 prints.
Otherwise, I'd have to outsource. Cafepress could allow me to do posters, calendars, greeting cards and such.
...me thinking more...for books, there's a couple I could do right off. Dan's idea was great about running from my shadow and probably doing a outdoors one from all my hiking. The other, I STILL have to finish the carpetbagger book. It would be much more effective, I think, with more photos than text...like a photojournalistic take.
So, basically I'm just talking to myself. www.lulu.com has some pretty neat options and low costs. With the way my "regular" career is going, looks like I probably won't find a publisher of my own. But I DO want to share my work with folks, it's better than sitting in a drawer or on my computer. With this site, I could allow people to buy copies of my book(s) on-demand.
Keep in mind that your costs per print may be considerably higher than cafepress' cost to you for the same prints. You might want to figure out how much it costs you per print using your equipment and supplies.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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So, I have to admit that I'm fascinated by Depth of Field #2. THere's just something about all 3 of the students that amuses me. I'd love to have that one to hang above my desk.
Posts: 871 | Registered: Mar 2002
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