A wise man once said, "A master can tell you what he expects of you. A teacher, though, awakens your own expectation." In being a (small) part of this community my expectations of myself have been awakened. I am no longer content to listen to the wise men speak: I want to be one of them.
In my last landmark I told my "life story" and Lalo's "goodbye Eden" post has already given more insight into my mind and the way I view myself than I ever could. Therefore, I find myself somewhat at a loss: I would write about myself but I honestly don't know who I am. In the two years that I have been posting here at Hatrack I have changed somewhat from the shy girl who first decided to stop lurking and make herself known, but not as much as I would like. However, I know more about the world now, more about life, more about myself, and much of that is because of you.
I am a teenage girl, I am a student, I am curious, I am ambitious for a good life. I love my family, I love my friends, I love stories, I love music, I love being challenged and inspired. So do many people, but I am not them so what makes me different? I don't know. What makes anyone different? Maybe I'll never know.
The one thing that has not changed even though I have posted on this forum 2,000 times now is that I still am not sure of myself. I find that although I may be interested in the topic under discussion I have a hard time forming an opinion that is strong enough to debate. I am swayed by your logic and eloquence and maybe that's what I like best about being here: that I can hear all sides of an issue, think them over, see all the facts presented. Yet even after I have thought it over and decided where I stand, I lack the confidence to make myself heard, and often someone else has thought of my point long before. This is my goal for the next two years: to develop the self-confidence and the conviction to become like you, the people who have guided me thus far.
Thank you for helping me find who and what I want to be.
Posts: 3420 | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged |
Congrats on reaching another milestone here. One thing I would say is that uniqueness is a given. You don't have to worry about it. It's a by-product of pursuing what interests you and of the opportunities you take advantage of and conversely, those that you decide to let pass.
Your post describes exactly how I feel. I think everyone is unsure of themselves at times, some of us more than others. Finding out who you really are can be the fun bit. Good luck, and I look forwards to another 2000.
Posts: 1431 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
I'm glad you're here. Good luck--but despite our differences, I think you're like us now. I've always considered you an integral part of the Hatrack tapestry. Most of us--including you, I might add--seem confident on the outside. Most if not all of us aren't so sure inside. And that's probably not such a bad thing, as long as it's not crippling. But here's to discovering yourself, and overcoming insecurity!
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged |
It's okay to be growing right where you are. I have the same problem you do, actually - my position gets stated long before I actually finish reading a thread. Keep sticking your toe in, because your ripples are just as important to this community as people who are bold and persuasive. It takes a while to gain the courage to speak, but when you do, you will find that you learn more about yourself than when you hold back.