Heh. Aw, now, Bob, that's no way to start a relationship. And you were the one who started having fantasies of me as a woman, dude. I only fantasize about that when I'm wearing my "naughty" underwear.
But don't worry, it won't happen between us. Not because you and I weren't born for each other, it's just that if I were to go gay, I might not go for it with a dude who injects. I've heard some horror stories. I mean, why do you think Ahnuld carries around so many big guns as the Terminator?
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
Aw, now, you won't tell Bob? C'mon, failure to communicate is the number one cause of failed relationships! Don't you care about our love?
And yeah, heh, I don't mind emoticons when used in moderation. Adding a smile to the end of a post to signify a joke or laughter, it makes sense. What I have a problem with are morons who post nothing but emoticons. It really drags the forum down.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
I don't know Lalo. In my case anyway, the use of those emoticons delivered exactly the message I wanted to get across. And there's no easy way I could have said it better than those three little pictures.
Oh, and by the way, I think that post may have been the swift kick in the butt that my self-esteem so desperately needed. @ AJ
Oh my goodness Mike. If you are having low self esteem in my experience there's probably a girl involved somewhere. (The list of intelligent, extremely good-looking nice guys who dumped their girl problems on me is long indeed. Why they thought I could figure out how my own gender thinks, I'm not sure.) Ask her out. If she turns you down it is her loss.
Think about it, how many middle-aged male engineers do you know that are un-married? You have just graduated into one of the most desireable bachelor classes known. No, you don't want someone that's a money grubber. But most reasonable people (of either gender), once they actually evaluate what they want in life, would rather have a steady trustworthy reliable mate, with a steady income over someone who is swinging from the chandelier partying every night. You graduated with a Master's in Civil Engineering. If that doesn't prove you are steady trustworthy and reliable I don't know what does.
Engineers make some of the best husbands and fathers out there. When you look at parent run kids sports teams, often at least one assistant male coach will be an engineer. Their only fault is their tendency to be a bit strict at times and tell their kids that little choices can make a bridge fall and make them watch all of the taped footage of Galloping Gertie (I never did figure out if the dog got out of the car before it slid off the road) and that hotel balcony collapse. I should know, my father is a civil engineer too.
And, as far as looks go (in my humble opinion and I did graduate from an engineering school) you have an advantage over probably 85% of the engineers out there. Think about all the truly nerdy-geeky engineering profs you had and how many nerds and geeks there were in your classes. How many of your profs had pictures of a lovely wife and kids on their desks? Though Civil engineering does have a slightly lower percentage of true nerds than some of the other engineering disciplines, and Computer Science and Computer engineering have the highest, but I'd still put you in the top 30%. Even if you are blind, you have the sense not to wear 2cm thick glasses, but contacts and you don't have a pocket protector. You also have a reasonably decent sense of fashion, with a slight outdoorsy feel and a good physique that does not appear to have deteriorated from being hunched over books for hours on end.
The only area I could see that might be an issue on a date, would be the area of conversation, and that you can think out before hand. Girls talk more than guys anyway so you can just ask her a question or two about herself and get her rattling away and then put in a word or two as needed. When you had something to say it was always interesting, so don't ever be afraid to say something but my impression was that you are naturally quieter at least until you are completely comfortable. (And you are never going to be comfortable on a first date.) You probably should evaluate exactly what you need though in terms of conversation and a relationship, because that IMO makes all the difference. Do you need someone who is quiet too, or are you entertained (as you kind of seemed) to be with other people rattling on about crazy stuff, like Celia and I were doing?
One of my guy friends made up a list of qualities he liked in a girl. While he was a bit more anal-retentive than I would be (and he wasn't even an engineer he was an artist) writing out a list isn't a bad thing. It will give you a much better idea of the type of person you might be compatible list. The time to be selfish is before you are in a relationship and evaluating it from the outside. Once you are in one then there is no room for selfishness. In Anthony's case he managed to go down the list AND find a girl who was a brunette version of the Little Mermaid who he was infatuated with AND is the one of the two who has the reliable income. I'm still not sure how he did it, but he knew exactly what he was looking for because of the list.
In my experience (and I have six male engineers in my family including my grandfather and uncles)engineers often tend to go for more nurturing types like nurses, teachers and social workers. A very few end up with female engineers, but I know the percentage isn't nearly as high. I have found that only the male engineers who have a very concrete sense of their own self-worth, can handle the fact (in a relationship) that their prospective mate may have actually had more differential equations than they have. The advantage is that they can ask intelligent questions when you talk shop. The disadvantage is you might get stuck in a rut talking shop, and need to make sure there are enough outside interests on both sides to compensate.
(How the heck did I get myself started on this diatribe?)
Know this Mike, everyone in our Hatrack group that met you liked you, even if they were laughing at me for coming down with an instant crush on you. I did tell Steve about it and his reaction was pretty much amusement, because he trusts me and knows I came home to him. And there are other Jatraqueras, who even though they haven't met you, think you are pretty cute too!
WOW, I never thought that my previous post would garner a response like that, and I sure don't want to make this thread all about me, which it's in serious danger of doing. But that being said, I really should say something here to respond to an obviously very well thought out post. Guess I ought to begin by clarifying a bit. I suppose that in some way it does have to do with a girl, or girls in general anyway, but it's really not that simple. If it were, there would be much less issue for me (or so I can lead myself to believe). Without going into too much detail, I've fallen into the mother of all slumps, and I've gotten to the point where I don't even notice a lack of true companionship anymore. But like it or not, there's a part of me (and I would guess, most people), that every once in a while just needs to have someone tell me that I'm the best thing to come along since sliced bread. And lets face it, it's better when it comes from a girl who thinks your chest make a nice pillow.
And that's been lacking. But since the sense fades with time, I sort of learned to do without, then you (AJ) said what you did, and suddenly I figured out that there really is something that's been missing, and maybe I can help myself do something about it now.
... well that didn't quite come out like I thought it was going to, but it's true, and I'll stand by it. Please, please, please lets not make this thread about me. I absolutely abhor being the center of attention. Though I can't say it's unappreciated.
First of all, after what you said, you have no idea how tempting it is to start a thread exclusively for you. However, I wasn't trying to embarrass you and I apologize if I did so. I have this bad habit of saying what I think when I should keep my mouth shut.
Secondly, grad school seems to put a lot of people in a slump. I freely admid couldn't hack it. I got so stressed and depressed (though part of the stress due to external factors) that I dropped out, within a year of finishing. I don't know how Celia does it. One of my best friends is getting a PhD in planetary science, after going through a nightmare of a professor she finally switched profs. She sent me an e-mail yesterday nearly in tears saying. "This is the first compliment I've gotten from a prof on anything I've done in three years." She has a backbone of steel that I never knew she had. I don't know that I could have stood it.
Thirdly, don't be afraid to use Hatrack to bounce ideas off of. If you don't want to do it under your current screen name, change it. There are a lot of minds here that are far more intelligent than my own and you might as well get them to help you out. You might not agree with them all the time, but they also might make you think of things they wouldn't have otherwise.
Somehow I have a feeling that any thread devoted to me would die a quick and unremarkable death. I just haven't been around long enough or made enough posts. My next one is only going to be 100. Oh, and I don't really embarass easily, I'd just rather be a foundation block than a stained glass window, ya know?
All in all though, I truly appreciate what you've said. I really had no intention of derailing the thread like this... So how bout the guy with one shoe? That's what it was right, didn't see him personally?
I thought you saw him! He had one shoe on and one shoe off and may have been in boxerish shorts as he was rooting through stuff in the back of his car car as we pulled out of the parking lot for the booze run (if my memory isn't betraying me.) I know you were sitting in the back but you still should have been able to see him out of the side window. I don't think I made my usual complete tour of the parking lot that time so maybe you didn't get a good angle.
I remember Celia was evilly cackling that we'd left the poor helpless innocents alone to defend themselves against the one shoe guy!
Okay, Mark, how have you kept secret on your inner Funny this long? He's great! Heh, jesus, if I'm anywhere in the Midwest (or wherever the hell Ohio is) come June, I'll definitely stop by for some cap-bustin'.
And AJ, damn, that hurts.
What about my relationship with Bob? Do you at least take that seriously? Or do you know something I don't? Has he been cheating on me?Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
Actually Lalo, both you and Bob have a thing for olive skinned women. I can't find any of your rants from Costa Rica (or was it Puerto Rica?) to prove you are straight to him
I had Steve read this thread, particularly my rant. His comment, after laughing at my Civil Engineering comments (since he's one too) and telling me that the dog on the bridge did die (which I didn't want to know), was, "Man AJ, he may have said he needed a swift kick, but you didn't have to hit him square in the nuts!" He then proceeded to tell me of two situations in his office of Civils straight from grad school who were going out on their first dates in three to four years.
So while the specifics may not apply to Happy directly, I sure as heck got the generalities right. I apologize for being too harsh though. I still can't figure up my own hangup in being attracted to civil engineers though!
(Oh and Lalo when you go on your bike trip you are stopping by Chicago right?)
Well I was going to let this thread die a natural death. However I sent Hobbes' foobonic link to a non-hatracker friend and found out that certain comments had been made by Frisco that needed rebuttal.
So Frisco if you are reading this, go look at the foobonic comments again. I want to put the IM angelic smiley here but since that is one of the few missing from our wide selection. I guess will have to do.