Skillery, that's a good question. I think (for me) it was at the time the only solution that was available. In hindsight, I would have gone to a school counselor, and said, "Look, I'm gonna tell you about my homelife." After that the problem pretty much would have been solved because my parents would have been arrested. I assume we would have either been placed into the foster care system or with family. I have mixed feelings on the extended family thing; they had a pretty good idea what was going on and did not call social services. However, I haven't ever asked any of them about it.
I think there are more options for kids today. For one thing, there's Project Safe Place. However, I don't know how much that truly appeals to teens in trouble. I hope that teens today are encouraged to talk more about family problems, and I know they are much more familiar with child protective services. I think generationally that today's kids are raised to have more of a "You can't do that to me" attitude, which is wonderful for abused kids but can also be abused *by* kids. There is also a different point of view on what constitutes abuse. Now we recognize that emotional abuse can leave just as many scars as physical abuse. I think we've given children more rights, and the onus is on society more to protect them. No longer can we listen to the neighbor beat the crap out of their kid and not do anything. By law in many states we have to report abuse.
Those are my thoughts for now; I'm sure I'll add more later.
I remember feeling grateful that I hadn't done a landmark before going to KamaCon. I've learned that when people learn a bit about my past, they tend to remember it for awhile and begin to treat me a bit differently. Also, I did not want to be put on the spot with any questions/comments.
I think that KamaCon did make me feel a bit "safer" as far as opening up in my landmark. For me it was an affirmation that the people I've met on this board and admire are still worthy of my admiration in real life. The fact that I saw people working to actively include everyone helped tremendously. It was an atmosphere of total acceptance.
Thanks for posting this, Space Opera! A lot of different chords in this resonated within me. It also helped me realize why you missed and worried about your own kids so much while you were at Kamacon. I'm glad you shared this very private part of your life!
Posts: 1416 | Registered: Sep 2003
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SO- The only thing that stopped me from jumping ship as a teen, was fear for my younger brothers.
In my 20's, after I had gotten a job and was fairly stable, the thing I wanted most in life was a chance to create a safe, healthy, loving home for my own kids. I don't know if it's a need to experience a happy childhood second hand, or the need to prove that good parents can come from lousy circumstances, but I needed to have kids.
I've been happier in the last 8 years than I was at any other point in my life.
I get less sleep, have less disposable income and have almost no personal time; yet I laugh and play every day and know that I am well and truly loved.
Baldar or Eddie once said that the people who survive child abuse either become angels or devils. I think that though the angels make a fabulous and positive impact on the world, it's the innocent and well loved that know how to play and how to laugh.
I hope your future brings with it peels of laughter and the occasional game of tag.
Posts: 2425 | Registered: Jan 2002
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quote:My name is in honor of my daughter, who sings space opera. She's six, and sings all the time. One day I caught her singing a song about her Star Wars action figures (they were singing to each other). Hence, my daughter invented space opera.
I always thought the blue diva in The Fifth Element invented space opera.
Homemade opera is best when sung in the bath tub. You can get a good reverb going in there* - - - - - -
Oh yeah. I was a big time rockhound when I was a kid. We lived in Phoenix, which is primo rock hounding country, and I'd twist my dad's arm to take us hunting for agates on the weekends. I had a rock tumbler and a huge rock collection. My mom gave it all to the local elementary school after I left home. She didn't even ask me. Broke my heart.
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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((((Nicole)))) I'm glad that you have found some happiness, that you have a loving husband and children that you find joy in. It's awful that your childhood was filled with suffering and humiliation. For what it's worth I find you strong, compassionate and lovely too. I hope that someday you will see yourself as positively (all the time) as those that admire and care for you do.