Proximity Alarm - for POV shifts

Hatrack Pen/Glowing Blade of Words – slices through logical conundrums with appalling ease!

Furry Dice - used to stun the reader with a superfluosity of adjectives. Sometimes called "Fuzzy Dice" by Hatrackers who have not studied the Manual.

Universal Travel Guide – Instant information for any place a Hatracker might find herself, hisself, or itself.

Spell-checker – works in the backgrond but cannot read your mind.

The Deus Ex Machina attachment – For last resort only! A glass tube about four inches long and an inch in diameter; marked "EMERGENCY USE ONLY. Does anything you want.

Geiger counter – only field tested on felines, so far.

Infinitive Splitter – Has a large blast radius. An awesome tool!

BS Detector – Everone needs one.

'Handwavium' pellets - Really useful for getting through sticky science scenes.

A bosun’s whistle to summon the The Penmanship, the Hatrack sloop.

Invisibility booster – most of us don’t need it.

The Ultimate Weapon - The ultimate weapon for a Hatracker caught in a dilemma in any thread. - A small black lock.

There may be more features, but I haven’t found them yet.

Rising Action switch - can help elevate you in a situation but be sure you can get to a safe place before you reach the top of the story arc or you'll crash to the ground

The k d-w. - Pull it out and it throws a stern admonition that instantly sets you back on course. Make sure not to throw a KDW instead, or you will be catapulted willynilly into the future!!

[This message has been edited by mikemunsil to avoid a potentially disastrous (edited August 24, 2004).]

I'm known as k d w (lower case). The way you tell us apart is that I have brown eyes and she has blue eyes (and I'm a little taller).

Hyphenator: used to break-things-up
Procrastinator: used to slow things down
Punctuator: used to punch-up things that appear flat or life-less! (Works well when used with hyphenator)
Excelerator: used to create graphs which act as webs or nets, trapping people and things until the graph is deciphered

Can't think of any more right now.

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Also, each set of Furry Dice should come with a warning label. If you received yours without one it should read as follows:

quote:

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Use with caution. Furry Dice may result in the creation of a Tom Swifty demon. This small boy grows quickly and can easily take-over your taglines, cluttering them with adjectives and said-bookisms. Tom Swifty is often dressed entirely in black and he carries a small pouch of dust to litter your lines.

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quote:

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Mike: Fuzzy Dice are the furry dice "award" given to Hatrackers who clutter up otherwise clean threads with superfluous, but often hilarious, chatter.

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Oh, THAT's what those are for. I was using them to clean my whatsit.

OK, now wait a minute. I object. Are you sure that I deserve a pair of fuzzy dice? In this thread we have talked about:

- POV alarm - point of view shifts, and detecting them
- Hatrack Pen/Glowing Blade of Words - cutting through logical gaps
- Furry Dice - avoiding stringing together too many adjectives and adverbs
- Universal Travel Guide – the importance of knowing where you stand in your writing
- Spell-checker - recognizing the limitations of spell-checkers
- Deus Ex Machina - keeping unrealistic solutions out of your writing, or using them only in extremis
- Geiger counter - encouraging that creative glow (ok, so this one is a bit of a stretch)
- Infinitive Splitter – (someone help me out here!)
- BS Detector – maintaining credibility in your writing
- 'Handwavium' pellets – cheating your reader by not using at least pseudo-credible science
- Bosun’s Whistle – knowing that help is at hand at Hatrack
- Invisibility booster – living with knowing that as a writer you will mostly be invisible to the editors
- The Ultimate Weapon – a means for stopping a thread
- Rising Action switch – avoiding disjunctions in story arcs
- Levity Belt attachment – keeping levity to the appropriate minimum
- Instant Quotations – using quotations to support your logic
- k d-w – being able to count on our able and tireless moderator to keep our threads on track
- Hatrack Ray-Gun with attachments – breaking up overly long concatenated phrases, the perils of slowing down and not focusing on our writing, adding punch to our writing, using graphs in creative metaphors

How better to learn, than with a chuckle? How finer to teach than with humor and a touch of silliness, to momentarily lighten the burden for crafters in a grim and toilsome trade?

BRRRRRAAAPPPPP!

Darn it! Is there somewhere to get the BS Detector calibrated? It keeps going off!! How annoying!

****************

NEW
The HUB 1.2 with Disbelief Suspenders!

(ooooohhh, aaaaahhh)

These handy, dandy accessories come in a variety of colours and styles, guarenteed to match any wardrobe. Use the suspenders on their own to add enjoyment to any flight of fancy you may encounter. Or wear them with your HUB and use them to help hold-up the disbelief in your own writing.

Already own the HUB 1.1? Do you only want the Disbelief Suspenders?

Not a problem! Redeem your Hatrack points for any HUB upgrade. Including a lovely set of Furry Dice (available in jet black, Mary-Kay pink, or winter white), or, the Hatrack ray-gun and attachments.

Since this is my first day here on the boards, it's my first introduction to the "HUB".

My kids are all looking at me, saying "What mommy? What's so funny?"

Coming soon to stores near you.

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I used a couple of Handwavium pellets in my BootCamp story. I had hit a point where I needed to do research and knew I wouldn't have time, so I turned it in with, "Using the latest [HANDWAVIUM] she isolated the sodium from the salt's sodium chlorid. With the pure silvery element, she [MORE HANDWAVIUM] combined it..." In the critique OSC said, "I loved the Handwavium, where did that term come from?"

I also love all the writing puns.

It is only with the HUB that writers are granted access to the stuff in pellet form, however. Previously writers had to extract/derive handwavium from broken science ore, a process that usually left distinctive signatures from the broken science in the story.

The bumping of this thread makes me miss all the "old" Hatrackers. I never thought I'd miss Survivor's snarkiness...

*sigh*