Somewhere, someone was afraid. Myka could feel it, taste it, smell it. The faint tendrils of fear wafted through the walls of his room above the stables. They brushed against his unshaven face and he gasped at their seductive touch. The hunger had been growing in him for days. Up until now, he had been able to ignore it, but today the dragon within was roaring for its food. Perhaps he could indulge it with a little taste. Just one tiny taste. He clenched his eyes shut. If he gave in now, he would not be able to stop. He would feed until there was not a sane mind left in the citadel.

He scratched at his face and traced the hardened skin around his eyes and across the bridge of his nose with trembling fingers. He had never considered that it might hurt.

The temple bells tolled the call to worship. Myka could not go to the temple. Today of all days he should not show his face there. He smiled grimly. As if tomorrow or the next day would be better. It would only be worse.

But all the same, it was pretty clear to me that he was scratching at his face because of the hunger he was feeling, either in atavistic reaction or in an attempt to control it by distraction (or both, the way humans press against the outsides of their skulls in reaction to a severe headache sometimes).

As for the third paragraph, it is clear that the reasons Myka cannot go to the temple are the hardened skin on his face and the hunger that would become uncontrollable once everyone reacted to what he is becoming.

"He scratched at his face and traced the hardened skin around his eyes and across the bridge of his nose with trembling fingers. He had never considered that it might hurt."

This drives my interest, wondering what this dragon has allowed to be done to himself and why.

The part about showing his face serves to clarify that something was done to his face, but I think it's unnecessary. In fact seems a bit heavy-handed as I had already gotten that point.

This is the first time I’ve had someone read any of it and I see now how important this step is. I’m going to need to join a local group or something so that I can wrangle someone into reading it and telling me what I’m saying. Then I can compare that to what I thought I said and make them match.

Rocklover – I just might take you up on that offer. I will email you and we can work something out that is convenient for you.

Christine – I am thrilled you liked the opening though I am not sure what you meant by “lack of implied confidence.” If you mean that it appears that I’m insecure of my work, that is actually not true. If anything, I’m too secure, which is why I was surprised that what I thought was a perfectly clear picture turned out not to be. I’m grateful for those that commented so that I could see where I may have miscommunicated. There are areas of the story that I do not care whether the reader sees the exact same picture as I do, but this is not one of them. I feel, since this is the first thirteen lines of the story, that it is imperative not to deceive the reader straight off. If the reader thinks they are reading about a dragon and then discovers that it is not a dragon but a man with draconic features...how disappointed is the reader going to be? Enough to set the book down? I can’t take that chance.

I posted only to participate and open myself up as others are doing. I enjoy critiquing because it helps me look at my own work more closely but I did not want to critique without also posting. But, then I realized that having someone read even just those few lines, was an enormous help. I’m sure there are other parts of the novel that are not nearly as clear as I think they are and only when I have someone read it will I find that out.