When MaryRobbinette arrived, she had little idea of what to expect. Luckily, this time she had some of her fellow Hatrackers (legitimately) involved in her story.

"What?" Dakota turned around and looked over Mary's shoulder.

"They've started another 'Destination' thread on fragments and feedback."

"Great!" Dakota pulled up a chair and settled in. "I wonder what's going to happen to you this time."

"Well, there's not much more that they can do to me, is there?"

"Let's see." Dakota rubbed her hands, an expression of pure glee on her face. "In addition to the usual stuff, they can make references to Mike's Flash Challenge, upgrade the HUB--"

"I hope so," Mary said giving hers a loving pat.

"--and maybe this time they could come up with a plot." Dakota and Mary looked at each other, biting their lips to hold back the laughter.

It didn't work.

They laughed and laughed until their sides hurt and they were nearly falling out of their chairs, then they laughed some more.

Then, Dakota stopped laughing with a quiet, "Oh."

"What is it?"

"We went to Boot Camp. They could ... no, they wouldn't do that. He's been too good to them."

Mary frowned at Dakota. "False suspense, dear. Please express your thoughts."

Dakota looked around then leaned in close to Mary.

"They could make Orson Scott Card a character in the story."

Mary shook her head, horror slowly twisting her stomach. "They wouldn't do that. Would they? I mean, kdw would stop them, right?"

Mike Munsil gazed fondly at his realm and began to laugh. "Mwhahahahaha." He poured a glass of Bunnahabhain and swirled the amber liquid. "With kdw away, and Dakota and MaryRobinette tied up in BootCamp, I can do anything I want."

Little did he realize that MaryRobinette and Dakota had switched to an Omniscent Point of View and were able to zoom in on his thoughts.

MaryRobinette shook her head in dismay. Pulling out her Glowing Blade of Words she looked at Dakota. "I think it might be time to use our new critiquing skills on Mr. Munsil. Don't you?"

"Go Mary and Dakota, give em a good what for!" Monolith said with a mouthful of popcorn.

"Who's got a drink with them?" Monolith said getting up and leaving the scene to find a beverage.

So she glanced at Dakota, who seemed to understand perfectly, and together the two wrote them out of story, permanently. Or at least until they learned the rules.

"That'll teach 'em," Dakota said.

"Agreed," MaryRobinette said. "If this is going to work, then we need to focus on a small number of characters. Anyone who writes themselves in will be written out immediately."

"Of course that doesn't mean new characters won't pop up though."

"No, of course not. But right now, let's stay focused on the four characters we do have. You, me, OSC and mikemunsil."

"Yes, let's."

With the interlopers taken care of, and the rules set forth, MaryRobinette felt a lot better about proceeding with the story.

And she then told Dakota what was troubling her. "I think OSC and mikemunsil want to implant alien technology into our heads during bootcamp."

"Huh? For what reason? I didn't know that Mike knew OSC," Dakota said.

"Neither did I. Be Mike knows a lot of people. He's usually pretty quiet about it. I got this strange, anonymous e-mail last night that said those two were up to no good, and that they possessed alien technology -- brain implants. I don't know if it's genuine, but I do think it's a good idea if we keep our eyes open."

"Well, I've got my HUB, and that should be enough. But if it's true, I'm going to be really disappointed. I wanted OSC to sign my first edition hardcover copy of Ender's Game. But if he's going to take over my mind, well... I might have to reconsider it."

"Maybe we should get him to sign it before he tries anything funny. What do you think?"

"Good idea. Let's go see OSC, and maybe we can find some clues as to what he and Mike are up to."

...

Quietly he whispered a cantrip...

quote:

---

As we stare into the dust and rubble of the last chapter, hoping Pygmalion-like to see consciousness newly step forth pure and pristine out of the detritus, let us ramble out and around the subject a little way as the dust settles, talking of different things. J Jaynes, from "The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind"

---

MaryRobinette shook her head. "He thinks we won't notice him in that corner. And I thought he was smarter than that." She moved to write him out of the story.

"Wait!" Dakota said, frowning. "We can't write him out. I mean, he's really here, at Boot Camp."

MaryRobinette frowned. Did that make a difference? This was a sticky area. "Well . . . has anyone else written about him yet?"

"I think so . . . yes. rickfisher has."

"All right. I guess we can leave him in, then."

"But--" Dakota broke off.

"What is it?"

"What about rickfisher? Has he written himself into the story. Or is he just writing about Spaceman?"

MaryRobinette put her hands to her head. What should she do about Mr. Fisher? Did he need to be written out? Was he even in the story? Or we they all just thinking about him for some reason?

That was it! It was starting already. mikemunsil and OSC had put their nefarious plot in action, and were already invading their thoughts, making them think about rickfisher!

But why rickfisher? Maybe because he was about halfway between mikemunsil's age and OSC's, and all three of them were close to the same age.

She heard Dakota begin to sing "Happy birthday," and stared in horror.

"Stop that!" she said. "It isn't his birthday!"

Dakota frowned and pulled out her notes from the day's lecture. "That sounds good. In an Event story, something is wrong with the world--"

"Which would be the existence of this thread," MaryRobinette muttered.

"--The story begins when the hero gets involved," Dakota glanced up, "That's us. And it ends when either the problem with the world is fixed, or the hero fails."

Staring into the distance, Dakota narrowed her eyes in thought. "If only there were some way to get admin powers..."

MaryRobinette jumped, as a thought struck her full force from behind. She rubbed the back of her head, where the thought had bruised her. "I know! If I take the kdw attachment from my HUB and crosslink it with a handwavium pellet, I can reverse the polarity and should be able to access the admin powers."

Dakota's face blanched. "But that could destroy the fabric of Hatrack, if it goes wrong."

"I heard it," MaryRobinette replied, a smirk gracing her lips. "Sounded like one of those accursed story cards OSC made us do yesterday."

"Of course! That damned present tense--drove me crazy!"

"Yeah, but why are we hearing it now? What's its purpose?"

Dakota jumped to her feet and began pacing the industrial carpeted floor. "Hmm. Let's see. Who would have put it there? Man or woman?"

"Man," Mary said.

"How old?"

"37."

"What does he do for living?"

"Hmm. He's an accountant..."

"Cliche. Try again."

"Maybe a marine biologist?"

"Something else."

"He's a..." MaryRobinette grasped Dakota's shirtsleeve as she paced by. "Stop it, Dakota. Don't you see what's happening? We're being distracted. Get back to the story. What are we going to do?"

"Brains, brains" they moaned as they went. But alas...

She looked at Dakota. "I'm going to do it."

Surely such imaginative folks and excellent writers as MaryRobinette, DJVDakota, RickFisher, Spaceman, Keeley and the rest could come with a better plot than that?

She wondered why they had bothered to bring up the fabled HUB, if there was not to be some clever use of it in the offing? And what of that wonderful craft, the Penmanship?

Dark days has surely fallen upon this latest incarnation of the Destination threads. She closed her browser sadly, vowing to never again read a Destination thread if the authors could not come up with a better plan than to simply close the thread.

"Thank you, Mr. Exposition." MaryRobinette sheathed her Blade of Words and brought out a small 3x5 card. She placed it flat on the table. "I just realized that our problem is that there's no plot. So, I'm going to write a synopsis so we know how this ends. If anyone deviates I'll sic a Tom Swifty on them."

"But--" Dakota clapped her hand over her mouth.

"What?" MaryRobinette was getting tired of the conversation and wanted some action. "Don't withold information."

"That's just it. If you write the plot down, well, you're a POV character. The readers have to know what you're thinking, which means that Mike Munsil and OSC will know and that will give them an advantage in their nefarious plot to implant alien technology in our brains."

MaryRobinette sighed. Dakota had a point. In this post everything she thought or observed was instantly accessible to readers as part of her POV. "Well, can we at least identify what's wrong with the world? Since this is an event story?"

"I really don't think they're that big a problem, Dakota." Suddenly, a thought occurred to her and, since this was her POV, it became instantly accessible.

mikemunsil and OSC had seen her solution. The zombies were a distraction.

Grabbing Dakota's arm, Mary yanked her out the door and down the corridor. Ideas. That's what was needed here.

She handed Dakota a 3x5. "Quick. Write down what's happening here and where the plot could go from this point on. Try to come up with a reasonable ending. If you feel it's safe, use the Thousand Ideas Generator OSC gave us for our HUBs. I'll take care of the zombies."

"Shouldn't we stay together?" But Mary had already left.

On the Other Hand, looks can be deceiving...

Off she went, following the directions given by Mrs. OSC. Down the hall and up the stairs she ran, until she was met by a person sitting behind a desk. dakota said, "Have you seen Mary?"

The person sitting behind the desk said, "I don't know anyone named Mary, but someone who looks a lot like a Mary went upstairs about five minutes ago. Why don't you try the periodical racks? They are just upstairs."

dakota looked dejected. "Stairs, again!"

"Sorry," said the person behind the desk.

dakota climbed the stairs and found Mary paging through the latest issue of....

...edited for typing faster than I think...