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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Short Works » Requesting Critiques: Flash 700 words

   
Author Topic: Requesting Critiques: Flash 700 words
djvdakota
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Member # 2002

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Greetings fellow writers. You know, I don't post stories here for critique often enough. So, here you go. Would like good deep all-around critiques. I'll be out of town starting late Tuesday night, so if you want to read I can send it to you before then, or you'll have to wait until Saturday to get it.

Please just email reading requests directly. Please include your Hatrack username in your email, so I know who I'm sending to. Any other comments on this thirteen (Actually more like 10, but who's counting? Probably a lot of you. ) are welcome here.

I Speak the Master's Will

quote:
I'm in Hell. That must be what this is. I can't fathom a God who could possibly interpret this as heaven, crammed in this damned steamer trunk; me and twenty-three other Wayang Kulit shadow puppets, entombed with the smell of ox hide and musty bamboo.

I've been here so long I can't remember what I did to deserve it; only that I do. I dream of a life before this one. A life in which I spoke a language different than the one the Master speaks for me. A life in which I could move my own vulgar arms, speak my own profane will, make my own damning decisions.



[This message has been edited by djvdakota (edited August 08, 2005).]


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mikemunsil
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I remember this one. It is great! Why are you putting it out for critiques? You should be submitting it, instead.
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djvdakota
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I'm subbing it because it needed some tweaking. I just want to make sure I didn't ruin it.

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Survivor
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Hmnmm...sounds interesting. May I?
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pixydust
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I'd love to read this one. Don't know how much help *I* can be to *you*, but at least I'll be entertained.
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djvdakota
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Member # 2002

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Thanks everyone. I'm good now.
Posts: 1672 | Registered: Apr 2004  | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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