“Is this all you have?” The tall lady in an old faded navy blue business suit asked me looking down at the small plastic bag I carried, clutched tightly between my little fingers.

Numbly I nodded my head, my unwashed brown hair falling to cover my face as a protective curtain. I was afraid of what she might o if I answered. I had first glimpsed her about two hours ago when the man in the sweat stained tank top had unlocked the door and ushered her in. She had wrinkled her nose and clicked her tongue moving from one side of the studio to the next.

I had sat huddled as far back in the corner as possible. Stacks of old newspapers and trash concealing my bone-thin frame and watched with wide fearful eyes as she saw my mom and sighed. I must have moved or cried because in the next instant she was upon me,

Also you need to trim out a few of the adjectives - for instance old faded navy blue business suit has a few too many.

I think it would be better to sneak in bits that show the manerisms, thought processes, or motivations of the characters. This will make the reader feel in touch with the characters much more effectively than physical attributes. Then, even if you never describe what they look like throughout the story, the reader will still form a mental picture of them. I've read many excellent stories that never describe the phsical appearance of important characters.

Don't get me wrong, this opening scene is interesting and I would keep reading, but it still has room for improvement.

I read the fragment and the comments, and I agree with the comments. Having said that, and understanding that you want criticism and not praise, still I have to say that you captured my interest with that beginning. I'm wondering about the mother, about the situation, about enough to keep me reading.

My only advice is: When you fix the problems mentioned here, be careful not to lose the "hook" that you've set.