Also, if anyone wants to read the full version, just mention it in your post and I will be more than happy to accommodate you.

Aside from that, I'm apologizing because the snippet I'm posting is slightly above 13 lines, but it's over it by two words at most. Now, critique away!

Shouts rife with hatred filled the midnight air of Rochester Village. Torchlight spilled across the sides of the neatly aligned cabins, casting them in a hellish light. Colin huddled in a corner of his family’s cabin with the smell of urine filling the air around him. The warm dampth that had just a moment before filled his pants was chilling to the temperature of a New York night. The Crusaders would reach him soon, and Colin could think of nowhere for him to run.

“Without Mother and Father, I have no one to guide me…God, why did you take them from me?” Colin knew his supplication fell upon deaf ears, but the Lectors at his primary school had drilled the instinct for prayer into him until it had become second nature.

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Edited for a typo I missed. :P

quote:

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Torchlight spilled across the sides of the neatly aligned cabins

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quote:

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The warm dampth that had just a moment before filled his pants was chilling to the temperature of a New York night

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However, there is no sci-fi or horror element evident in this first thirteen, which should be imperative in a flash-fiction piece. (In a way, flash fiction is much harder than most fiction lengths--you've got to have a polished jewel before anyone will accept it.)

The first phrase is an impersonal (ie: no human subject). In a normal story, I wouldn't object, but in flash fiction stuff needs to be happening fast. There's very little space to wander. I'd suggest you throw your MC in the mix within the first phrase, cut the description to minimum and convey action which has a human as an active ingredient. People empathize with humans a lot more than they do with situations and flash fiction is all about economy of words.