Since I had arrived in the city of Kraichis this morning, an unprecedented number of people had told me to get lost. I was too busy running at the time to inform them that amongst the sea of shoppers and maze of merchant stalls I was, in fact, already there.

Dust-stained colonnades loomed at each end of the market. Their crumbling marble columns surrounded me and taunted my boyish hopes. This was not the Kraichis of my dreams.

There were no warlocks here.

My brother had lied about the warlocks, among other things. No surprise there. I had yet to encounter an honest person in my eleven years; I even lied to myself. The only dependable, painfully honest thing that remained in my life was my stomach.

That aside, I liked the energy of this opening and the hints of an exotic setting. The idea of a search for warlocks is intriguing, and the last paragraph causes me to feel for this boy.

Some more nits:
Maybe start with "Since my arrival in the city of Kraichis..." to knock out the "had" - I forget the proper name for the tense you used, but I remember reading in an editor's blog that it was generally a bad idea. You don't really need to use that tense to convey what you're trying to say, anyway.

"The only dependable, painfully honest thing that remained in my life was my stomach." This line makes me think he's lost someone - esp. "that remained" - who used to be honest with him, and seemingly contradicts the "I had yet to encounter..."

That all said, I love the idea of an "unprecedented" number of people telling him to get lost - so it's happened before, but we're taking it to a new scale. I'm really feeling for this kid - lost, hungry, alone, searching.... I'm ready to go warlock hunting!

If it can wait a week or two, I'll try to read it all. I'm a bit crunched for time at the moment (which of course you can't tell because I'm procrastinating on Hatrack...)

Part of the reason for that marble column sentence was to provide context for someone who might not know what a colonnade was. Maybe more people know what a colonnade is than I originally thought.

I, too, required two readings to understand the connection between "get lost" and "already there". I think a simple amendment to "already lost" would be one option.

I, personally, didn't mind the usage of both "sea of shoppers" and "maze of merchants" in one sentence. Probably just a matter of taste.

I'm intrigued by the warlocks, and who doesn't love colonnades I like your style and imagery.

Best regards,