posted
This is a finished first draft Sci-Fi with some horror elements. (Working Title)
Not written specifically for the 1st 13 but here it is--feel free to tear it up
I'm mainly looking for readers for the full 6500 words if anyone is interested.
quote:"Alright guys, vacation's over," Mac said to his crew, "It's been a long trip so we need to focus." They were the best around--hand-selected by him--but today they looked tired. With a dozen more exoplanets to check he would have to keep them on a tight schedule if he was going to be back on Mars with his family by the end of the year. "Yeah, Timbo, pull your head out of your arse. Don't want a repeat of Tarin-3," Burdy said. Everyone but Timbo laughed. "Bite me, Burdy," Timbo snapped back, "Oh wait, you would bite me, disregard." Turbo laughed again and patted Dino on the shoulder. "Dino, you were with Burdy that night. Where was that? Moon City?"
Thank you in advance, Donavan
[This message has been edited by Dark Warrior (edited June 01, 2010).]
posted
I agree - it's a good "scene", but may not be the best for the first 13. I'm always for setting up as much atmosphere as you can before launching into dialog. Put them at a bar, or in a ship... something to ground me so I can picture them talking.
posted
I'll take a look at the whole thing. Willing to do a story swap? (Although mine isn't quite ready yet.)
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posted
You can send it to me but it would take me a few days to crit it. If that's all right with you, send it to me.
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