Was wondering if anybody would be willing to read my story, 'Broken Reeds'?

Here's the first 13:

Even Lall had to admire the geometry of Hem Khatry's death, how the corpse acquired an onion dome symmetry, reeked a proportionate amount. Perfect in every way.

His master was only the latest. The flux deflated the innards, inflated the rest.Three hundred had already died in the City of The Intricate Heart that month. Yet, to Lall, it was the only death, first axiom to manumission.

That's why he cried, as he rolled the corpse into the the narrow alley street, occupied the remaining space. Forced to sympathize, more than one passerby dropped a meal stamp just

Didn't know what manumission was - had to look it up. Thanx for the education, but some readers won't bother and will either not understand or stop reading. Consider making it clearer.

Very well written. If there were more than 13 lines I definitely would continue reading.