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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Short Works » First 13 - Apocalypse School

   
Author Topic: First 13 - Apocalypse School
wirelesslibrarian
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Here's another apocalypse story (sorry, Meredith!), one I finished a while ago. It's only 2947 words long, and I need some readers. I'd be happy to reciprocate!

I signed up for the class because my girlfriend thought it would be fun. Guns, roughing it, killing squirrels for dinner - Kayla loved that crap, in theory at least. Survival courses had become a favorite diversion for dilettantes like her and conspiracy theorists like me. I doubt that many students really believed doom was power walking towards us with hand-weights of destruction. After all, deterioration had been the natural state of things for a long time. Famine, plague, floods, earthquakes? Been going on for years. War and rumors of war? Check. World economy in the toilet? Old news.

By the time I got to class that first night, the room was filled with neophytes ready to learn the intricacies of digging latrines and twisting the heads off chickens. A middle-aged

[ March 12, 2012, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: Kathleen Dalton Woodbury ]

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LDWriter2
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Interesting.

The title caught my attention so I read it.

Not bad, first two sentences are grabbers. But that "hand-weights of destruction " makes me think me of the gym. Maybe something along the lines of brass knuckles or steel gloves?

One sentence seems a bit long on second reading but I think they all read well at least with their lengths.

Not much else I can say.

Louis

Actually this is third one dealing with an apocalypse, seems to be a rage going on. [Smile]

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Denevius
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hello. i'm game to swap with you if you're interested. just send it along to my email.
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rcmann
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I'll read it, send it over.
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A Yeatts
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I'd be happy to read. Very intrigued so far. I think it was the head twisting chicken bit... [Wink]

Anna

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wirelesslibrarian
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Thanks so much, Denevius, RC, and Anna. I just sent you my story.
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Geoff Hawthorne
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I'd like to read it, please! The entire hand-weights of destruction line was my favorite, and I already like the premise of the story.
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C@R3Y
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Send it along. This hooks me. Good character development. I was lost inside the first thirteen, the good kind of "lost", mind you. x]
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