Hatrack River
Home   |   About Orson Scott Card   |   News & Reviews   |   OSC Library   |   Forums   |   Contact   |   Links
Research Area   |   Writing Lessons   |   Writers Workshops   |   OSC at SVU   |   Calendar   |   Store
E-mail this page
Hatrack River Writers Workshop Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Short Works » honest opinions needed

   
Author Topic: honest opinions needed
SuziQ
Member
Member # 9730

 - posted      Profile for SuziQ   Email SuziQ         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi all,

I have 2 stories that I'm fond of working on. I was hoping if I posted the first bits of both, you all would offer an opinion on which one you think is stronger and/or which you would prefer to read and of course, any other feedback you might have.

working Title: The Brotherhood of Time

Six feet of earth is never enough to truly bury the dead. It is, however, adequate when trapping those who will not die.

“You have your orders” Cearbhall growled and the soldiers scattered, intent on performing their duty before their Captain decided to take his frustration out on them. The men ran hard, determined to close the lead their prey had on them.

The four warriors moved swiftly over the rocks and crags, Cearbhall’s soldiers close on their heels. The small band ran hard for a long time, until only their footfalls could be heard. Slowing, Kathel put up his hand, his breathing heavy. “We are near Ormarr’s farm,” he said quietly. “Perhaps he will aid us in our journey home.”

They approached the rambling farmhouse cautiously. Gunner went


Working title: Magic Earth

Peter paused outside Ronan's rooms as a love song, full of hope and promise, wafted through the open door. He saw his friend looking out over the balcony at the waterfalls beyond.

"Interesting song choice," Peter said as his voice broke through the musical montage.

A soft chuckle came from Ronan, though he did not take his gaze from the scenery. "It is her current favorite."

"Ah," said the warrior, moving across the room to stand beside his friend. A long moment passed, then Peter spoke again. "Did you ask her to come?"

"Repeatedly," Ronan said with a sigh, “but there is always some delay."

"You may have to tell her why," Peter pointed out.

[ April 12, 2012, 08:15 PM: Message edited by: Kathleen Dalton Woodbury ]

Posts: 33 | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JackValentine
Member
Member # 9798

 - posted      Profile for JackValentine   Email JackValentine         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I would have to say Magic Earth raises my curiosity more so than the one before it. The first one is action followed by a one sentence hook, while Magic Earth makes me want to know what the heck is going the whole time. I think the second has more potential personally. If you want me to take a look at both I would be more than happy to. Anyway, good work, the structure on both is pretty tight. Doesn't seem to be any irrelevant information. I would keep working on Magic Earth and work on the first when that is finished.
Posts: 37 | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SuziQ
Member
Member # 9730

 - posted      Profile for SuziQ   Email SuziQ         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks Jack for your feedback. I have to admit a deep love for Magic Earth and I'm so pleased to hear that you are interested in what's next. I may take you up on that read when it's a bit further along. :-)
Posts: 33 | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JackValentine
Member
Member # 9798

 - posted      Profile for JackValentine   Email JackValentine         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Awsome. Gotta say I think it has massive potential. Make sure not to edit to much. Just get that story out! Edit it later and worry about the details when its finished. I've lost many a story due to not picking before it was finished. Anyway, good luck and can't wait to see the finished product. Any idea how long its going to be?
Posts: 37 | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SuziQ
Member
Member # 9730

 - posted      Profile for SuziQ   Email SuziQ         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I will do my best to get it out in good time. The outline covers 3 complete story arcs - it's a very complex story with multiple story lines. I'm taking Katherine's advice and letting bits write as they are inspired, so there will likely be bits before there's a whole story. Will likely take a bit to make it cohesive, but I'm working on it. It's got some interesting characters and some unusual twists and turns.
Posts: 33 | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JackValentine
Member
Member # 9798

 - posted      Profile for JackValentine   Email JackValentine         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That's a great approach. I read about an author who writes his books in scenes on note cards so that way he can arrange them as he pleases. Every writer has a different process so just do what works. BTW is it a novel or a short?
Posts: 37 | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SuziQ
Member
Member # 9730

 - posted      Profile for SuziQ   Email SuziQ         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh, I like that card idea. that's cool. It's a novel...depending on how it develops, it'll either be a novel with 3 arcs or 3 shorter novels. We'll see how it comes together. Currently they are very talkative muses.
Posts: 33 | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2