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Author Topic: Traits
mayflower988
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This is a lighthearted short story somewhere on the outskirts of Sci-Fi and Fantasy. I'd love it if someone could read the whole thing and tell me where I might have a good chance of publishing it (I'm not sure if it's DSF material or better suited to another site). Here's the first 13 (I think):

The man holding the clipboard looked at her with a bored expression. “Ulyssa.”
“Ulyssa?!”
“That is correct.”
“I couldn’t have gotten Tara, Tess, or Tina?”
He pushed his glasses up his nose. “Sorry, can’t be helped. We’re into the ‘U’s now.”
“Can I at least go by ‘Lyssa’?”
He glanced back up from his clipboard with a frown. “Up to your Receivers. Move along, please.” He dismissed her with a wave.
Ulyssa, as she would be called now, sighed and returned to her place in the line of Potentials. Might as well get used to it, she thought. Ulyssa. Ulyssa. Nope, still not used to it.

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mayflower988
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Oops, sorry, I forgot to mention that I'm looking for someone to critique the story.
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A Yeatts
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I'll have a go at it for you. I love a bit of humor tossed in with my portal blasters and nanotech.
Anna
[Smile]

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Grumpy old guy
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Humour and a proton blaster can go a long way together. Arrrgh! (Spoken like a pirate, Jim lad)

And, all humour aside, I'll critique the story for you if you want a grumpy take on it.

Phil.

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mayflower988
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Thanks, both of you! I don't know how humorous it is. I think it reads like a certain genre that I didn't intend it to be, but I'll wait till after yall read it to tell you. I don't want to influence your impression of it. Story is coming your way.
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mayflower988
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I've revised my story, but I'm not sure what the standard procedure is for 2nd draft critiques. Do I send it back to the people who said they'd critique it the first time, or do I ask for new readers?
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easterabbit
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Politely enquire via email if the previous critiquers are interested in glancing at the new revised version.


Have you revised the intro? If you have you could re-post that and ask for readers...

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mayflower988
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I changed the word "man" to "Official". That's it. But I will email those who were so kind as to critique my story. Thanks.
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mayflower988
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So, thanks to Anna, I'm planning on sending in this story (now titled "Potential") to Cricket magazine. I just need to get some envelopes since they require hard-copy submissions. I have some envelopes, but they're the shorter kind and I don't think they look very professional. This may be a stupid question, but do magazines/publishers take the little things into account? Like if my entry doesn't look professional (i.e. short envelopes, hand-written addresses), will that influence their decision? Or am I just over-thinking things?
(KDW, I wasn't sure whether to post my question here or in the general discussions, so I apologize if it's in the wrong place.)
Thanks, everyone, for all your help. Hooray for the treehouse! :)

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extrinsic
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A folded manuscript doesn't lay flat and thus compromises a reading experience. Nor can the top page be easily pulled out of its envelope and receive a first, perhaps last glance. Some houses are okay with a few pages folded in half. A twenty-five hundred word manuscript counts roughly ten pages. I believe that's a best practice upper limit for a folded manuscript.
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mayflower988
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Extrinsic: My story is 1680 words. It's five pages on my computer. While that may be within the practiced limit you mentioned, the rest of what you said makes me think it might be best to keep the pages flat. I think I'll go with one of those flat rate envelopes. I'm not sure, but I think that kind is stiff enough to protect my MS from damage. Thanks for your comment; that was helpful.
Sorry for taking up your time with obsessing over the details. It's just that I keep thinking of the part in Little Women where Jo took her first story to the newspaper office and she'd tied it up in ribbon. Later in the novel, when she submits a second story, the editor notes that it wasn't tied up in ribbon like a novice would do. I don't want the Cricket folks to know that I'm a novice, not if that will hurt my chances of publication. I may be a novice, but they don't necessarily have to know that, do they? :)

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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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The best approach is a flat envelope for the submission, and a business-sized (aka #10) envelope -- with your address already on it -- for the response (with enough postage for them to mail the response).

If you want the manuscript back, you can include another flat envelope (it will add to the postage on your submission, though), or you can hope they are willing to fold it up and put it in the business-sized envelope (be sure there's enough postage for the whole manuscript on the envelope).

Or, you could just tell them the manuscript is disposable, and provide a business-sized envelope with your address and one stamp on it for their response.

REMINDER: postage has gone up.

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SR Dev
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I'd love to take a look at this. It looks amusing.
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mayflower988
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KDW: Thanks, that's very helpful. I've got some of those "Forever" stamps; I think they're first class or something, so maybe I won't have to worry about the price.
I checked the Cricket website, and it says they can't return manuscripts. It says something about sending my phone number and email address, but I don't know, that might just be for poetry submissions.
Is it customary to include some kind of cover letter? Or do I just stick the manuscript and SASE in the envelope and just send that?

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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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A cover letter provides the editor with something to put her coffee cup on. [Smile]

And she can write notes to herself about the manuscript on it.

All you really need to say is something along the lines of "Please accept for your consideration 'Story Name Here.' I've enclosed a self-addressed stamped envelope for your response. The manuscript is disposable. Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you soon."

If the manuscript isn't disposable, then the self-addressed stamped envelope is "for the return of the manuscript with your response."

If you have some kind of education or background or experience relevant to the story, you can mention that, but it isn't necessary to say any more than the above.

Hope that helps.

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extrinsic
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quote:
Originally posted by mayflower988:
Extrinsic: My story is 1680 words. It's five pages on my computer. While that may be within the practiced limit you mentioned, the rest of what you said makes me think it might be best to keep the pages flat. I think I'll go with one of those flat rate envelopes. I'm not sure, but I think that kind is stiff enough to protect my MS from damage. Thanks for your comment; that was helpful.
Sorry for taking up your time with obsessing over the details. It's just that I keep thinking of the part in Little Women where Jo took her first story to the newspaper office and she'd tied it up in ribbon. Later in the novel, when she submits a second story, the editor notes that it wasn't tied up in ribbon like a novice would do. I don't want the Cricket folks to know that I'm a novice, not if that will hurt my chances of publication. I may be a novice, but they don't necessarily have to know that, do they? [Smile]

I use inexpensive, plain manilla, letter-sized envelopes for mailing short manuscripts. Plain is a best practice. Someone sometime must have thought to ornament a submission and started a rumor calling attention to a submission was a best practice. The rumor persists in other variants. A recent one is use an extra dark typeface and extra bright paper. Calling undue attention is the consequence, regardless, like for a narrative's language as well, and a probable nix without even a glance because one might logically assume each reflects unfavorably upon the other.

The surest sign of a novice submitter is exhibitions of anxiety demonstrated by ornamentation or, conversely, sloppy packaging and formatting. A first glance at an envelope is sometimes all it takes to condemn a manuscript to the deep six. However, a plain, well-formatted submission package and manuscript might get a second glance due to establishing a mutual respect between screening reader and writer for the professional presentation of the writer. The writer has done the homework.

Part of that homework is appropriate packaging. Formatting appropriate to the publisher's guidelines is another. Another part is practice makes perfect. Submit your best effort. In no time at all, professional presentation will become second nature. If this is your first, consider the submission a full-dress rehearsal before a critical audience. Ignore the anxiety butterflies; full speed ahead toward success.

[ January 29, 2013, 11:43 PM: Message edited by: extrinsic ]

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mayflower988
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Ah, those were both good pieces of advice. One final question (I hope), and this may be the silliest one yet - is it better to staple the pages or not? Or paper clip?
Okay, that's it. I'm not going to ask any more questions, because I know I've dawdled enough. It's time to take the plunge. I'm going to do it.

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extrinsic
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Stapling or fastening a manuscript in any manner is a no-no. Loose leaves allows for reading ease. Instead, format a header in the upper right page corner with identifying information, in case the manuscript topples from a pile onto the floor and gets mixed up with fellow landslide victims. If the submission is for a contest with a blind judging policy, like WoTF, do not include writer's name in the header. Suppress page numbering for cover letter and title page.

Otherwise, this header example illustrates;

<flush right line justification>> Ardis Artz - A Sum of Monkey Mischief - pg 5 of 7

For more comprehensive manuscript information, Vonda McIntyre's article on Standard Manuscript Format covers about all a writer needs to know about SMF.

http://www.vondanmcintyre.com/mssprep.pdf

For laughs and tears as to what happens to a manuscript after it goes in the mail, take a look at Tappan King's "The Sobering Saga of Myrtle the Manuscript."

http://www.sfwa.org/2009/06/the-sobering-saga-of-myrtle-the-manuscript

While visting SFWA's site, check into the "Turkey City Lexicon," a collection of writing wisdoms from a science fiction writing workshop. By all means, mail the manuscript before reading the Lexicon, though.

http://www.sfwa.org/2009/06/turkey-city-lexicon-a-primer-for-sf-workshops

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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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Amen!
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mayflower988
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I surrendered my "baby" to the mercies of the U.S. postal system today. (The experience of which is a story in itself that I plan on telling over at Grist for the Mill.) Now I just have to wait six months for a response. Six. Months. That sounds like a very long time. I guess I'll know something around July/August. I hope so.
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A Yeatts
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Good for you! Now dive into the next story... Best of luck!
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mayflower988
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Thanks for all your help, Anna!
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SR Dev
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I'd love to hear if this gets published. I loved it. [Smile]
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mayflower988
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Thanks! I can't wait to hear if they'll publish it, either. I think I've got oh, about 5 months left! Oh goodness, that feels like forever. I'll be sure to let yall know as soon as I hear back from Cricket.
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