Hatrack River Writers Workshop   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Open Discussions About Writing » use of colloquialisms in narrative

   
Author Topic: use of colloquialisms in narrative
Rocklover
Member
Member # 2339

 - posted      Profile for Rocklover   Email Rocklover         Edit/Delete Post 
My question is, may one use colloquialisms in the narrative? To add "flavor", say? Or do the colloquialisms have to stay in the dialogue.
For example, if I'm writing about a small farming community, mayn't I use some colloguialisms in the descriptive narrative?
For instance: "He sat bolt upright in bed..." Where I was raised sitting "bolt upright" was the way it was said. Here's another: "They could hear the sound way out in the barn." Where I was raised, you always said "way out" not just "out." I guess what I'm asking is, can you write a narrative so it sounds like how it be expressed in that locality, or is that a big no-no?

Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
ChrisOwens
Member
Member # 1955

 - posted      Profile for ChrisOwens   Email ChrisOwens         Edit/Delete Post 
I think it definitely depends on the narrator. If that's the narrator's way of speaking, absolutely.
Posts: 1275 | Registered: Mar 2004  | Report this post to a Moderator
Survivor
Member
Member # 213

 - posted      Profile for Survivor   Email Survivor         Edit/Delete Post 
All natural language is colloquial.
Posts: 8322 | Registered: Aug 1999  | Report this post to a Moderator
theokaluza
Member
Member # 2315

 - posted      Profile for theokaluza   Email theokaluza         Edit/Delete Post 
You may do whatever you want to do.

Personally, I think it's a good idea. In a way, it's impossible to avoid.


Posts: 54 | Registered: Jan 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
wetwilly
Member
Member # 1818

 - posted      Profile for wetwilly   Email wetwilly         Edit/Delete Post 
You cannot use colloquialisms in the narrative. Just ask Mark Twain, William Faulkner, Flannery O'Connor, James Baldwin, James Thurber, Eudora Welty, James Fenimore Cooper...

I'm sure they'll all agree with me.


Posts: 1528 | Registered: Dec 2003  | Report this post to a Moderator
Rocklover
Member
Member # 2339

 - posted      Profile for Rocklover   Email Rocklover         Edit/Delete Post 
Wow. That's an auspicious list of names on your side! But maybe I want to speak with a voice none of them had. My own voice. My own perspective. Is it not permissable to bend the rules to follow not where others have tread but my own path? If we are passing names, I think Robert Frost would back me on that one.
Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
Survivor
Member
Member # 213

 - posted      Profile for Survivor   Email Survivor         Edit/Delete Post 
RL, always check ww's posts for impishness.
Posts: 8322 | Registered: Aug 1999  | Report this post to a Moderator
catnep
Member
Member # 2359

 - posted      Profile for catnep   Email catnep         Edit/Delete Post 
Maybe it matters on whether it comes across as laziness on the author's part or as an actual narrative tone. If you did it right, I think it could read great, but if it is just here and there or not strong enough it might come across as poor writing. Does that make sense?
Posts: 85 | Registered: Feb 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
Luke
New Member
Member # 2364

 - posted      Profile for Luke           Edit/Delete Post 
Mark Budz does a good job of this in his novels "Clade" and "Crache".

Most of the vernacular that he uses looks to me like it is Latin American in origin. Since I only speak American English, it was helpful to me that he defined most of it.

Also, he kept the narrative in regular American English -- except when he was writing from a particular character's POV.

[This message has been edited by Luke (edited February 06, 2005).]


Posts: 5 | Registered: Feb 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
Lord Darkstorm
Member
Member # 1610

 - posted      Profile for Lord Darkstorm   Email Lord Darkstorm         Edit/Delete Post 
I've seen colloquialisms used in many books. I think the main thing to remember is to use it in moderation and be consistant. I've found that books written with a bit of the characters mindset can work well.

Go for it, and if it is too much someone will let you know. Then you only need to tone it down a bit.


Posts: 807 | Registered: Mar 2003  | Report this post to a Moderator
Rocklover
Member
Member # 2339

 - posted      Profile for Rocklover   Email Rocklover         Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks everyone. Points taken.

Survivor, thanks for the heads up on WW (Wascaly Wabbit).

Ok WW, you nailed me. I shall be more cautious before I take your bait next time.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
wetwilly
Member
Member # 1818

 - posted      Profile for wetwilly   Email wetwilly         Edit/Delete Post 
As Survivor pointed out, my post above was meant sarcastically. (Why can't I just say what I mean without the sarcasm? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why...?) If you're familiar with the authors I referenced (hmm, that doesn't look like it's spelled right, but it's 3:00 a.m. and I've been studying all night), you'll notice that they are all authors who used colloquialisms very much in their writing, and found great success doing so. In fact, more than one of them has (have?) officially said that the colloquialisms are ESSENTIAL to believable literature. I certainly wouldn't go that far, but I definitely think it's acceptable to put them in your story.

Personally, I don't think I've ever used a colloquial dialect in a story, but that's because I don't have a mastery of any colloquial dialects that really stand out. If I tried to fake it, I would just look silly.


Posts: 1528 | Registered: Dec 2003  | Report this post to a Moderator
wbriggs
Member
Member # 2267

 - posted      Profile for wbriggs   Email wbriggs         Edit/Delete Post 
Huck Finn is all in dialect, and it may be America's greatest book.

What I usually do is put the narrative in a standard modern English with contractions, but take all the imagery from the POV's mind. I'll push it a little, but keep it standard. As in, the character might say, "I reckon it's been nigh on to twenty years since I been 'coon hunting up yonder." If I say it, I'd say, "He thought it was nearly twenty years since he'd been 'coon hunting up that way." 'Coon being the only non-standard thing, but I've never heard of "raccoon hunting."

But I do want the editor to know that *I* know standard English -- and the dialect I'm writing in.

BTW, I wouldn't call "way out in the barn" nonstandard. It's an economical way of saying it was out in the barn, and that it's remarkable that it was so far away.


Posts: 2830 | Registered: Dec 2004  | Report this post to a Moderator
Rocklover
Member
Member # 2339

 - posted      Profile for Rocklover   Email Rocklover         Edit/Delete Post 
Yup, I got it, WW. After Survivor made his comment, I looked at your list of names again. I hit my forehead and said, "Duh."

As for quality scarcasm, it's a talent and you pull it off better than most.

I really appreciate all the comments on this strand, everyone. I needed a little boost of confidence in what I was attempting.

Gracias Amigos


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
MichelleAnn
Member
Member # 2375

 - posted      Profile for MichelleAnn   Email MichelleAnn         Edit/Delete Post 
I think it depends on the effect you are attempting to create. There are some stories where the narration is meant to be seamless, and other stories where the narrator becomes another character in the story.

The more you want the narration to be invisible, the more you want to use proper English. Once you start using colloquialisms you are asking anyone that is not of the group that uses those terms to take notice of the narrator.

Is you narrator/narration there to add flavor to the story or just add necessary exposition?

'ChelleAnn

[This message has been edited by MichelleAnn (edited February 15, 2005).]


Posts: 48 | Registered: Feb 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2