It's the first serious one I've tried to write. It's existed in some shape or form for the past 8 years. I'm really passionate about it; it's full of ideas I've worked hard on and which are important to me, plus the characters have been around for so long they probably deserve a place on my Christmas card list. The problem is that I just can't finish it.
I started it when I was 13. I got it over the 100k mark, then it sort of petered out. By this time I was 14 and I hated what I'd written - I guess I outgrew it. So I started again. And again. And each time, the same thing happens - either I come up with a change to the plot that means I can't continue, or I despise what I've written so much that I can't force myself to. Now I realise I should have persevered to the end, but I never thought like that. What was the point, I told myself, if I'm just going to want to start over when I finish?
The current incarnation is the fifth. It's over 115k so far and is a long, long way from being done. When I started it, I swore I would finish. But now the same old problem is rearing its head. It's too long, and has taken so long that the early stuff is awful - I used to be so wordy I could make Mervyn Peake look like a minimalist - and I've changed my mind again. I'm sticking it out, but I'm losing interest and I know I'm not writing well.
I have a clear picture of the start of the novel, so I could just write that to get it out of my system. But what if I get carried away and end up rewriting again? Obviously, if I keep doing this I'll never finish, and I do want to finish. I'll never be able to call myself a writer if I can't.
Maybe I should just give up - but I haven't spent 8 years on something I care so much about to jack it all in. I still believe in the story; I think it might be more that I don't believe in myself. That, and my inner editor is on steroids.
How do I stop this? Should I give in and start over, or press on in the knowledge that I will want to redo at least the first half of it once I'm done?
posted
Think of it in terms of preparing yourself to write the story within you. If you started this story at age 13, you can't expect yourself to have been able to come out of the gates with the writing skills you needed. Every re-write, every revision is getting you closer to your vision. You are teaching yourself the skill of writing, and none of it is wasted time. The old adage is that you need to write 1,000,000 words before you get anything publishable. Keep going!
Posts: 2026 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Just keep writing. It sounds silly but there is a reason that its the first of heinlein's rules. If you don't write you cannot get to the second rule: Finish what you start.
I know it sounds trite and simplistic but it really is that simple when you boil it down. sit down and ask yourself what your characters are doing. Is it in character? Ask what they would do next? Not what you want them to do next. If these characters are so alive in your mind they will tell you what to do.
Also, don't concern yourself with length on a first draft. That is what revision is for. The story will be as long as it needs to be.
posted
Sounds like an outline might be a cure. I know what it's like to have mixed feelings--which change rapidly, aboiutyour own work. But for me to ever finish anything I do, I must have a clear outline for where I am going.
Posts: 2195 | Registered: Aug 2006
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To write a novel, even one not quite finished at the age of 13+ is noteworthy. I applaud your tenacity and focus. I have thought about writing for many years but was afraid to start. Isn't that silly? Hats off to you.
Second, Just keep writing- but maybe not this novel. You will only get better and the novel will improve. Maybe writing something else will trigger the thoughts or growth in skills that you need to push through the trouble. It's helped me.
posted
My guess is that you've grown so much as a writer, you've outgrown your story. While painful and annoying, it's really a good thing. It might be time to start on the next book.
[This message has been edited by JamieFord (edited September 04, 2008).]
posted
Hi Marchpane, your post really resonated with me. Like you, I started my current WIP many many years ago--I think I was 16 when I first conceived of the idea. Gradually it changed over time, matured as I did, became more involved as I kept adding layers to it. It's not finished yet, but it's only now, almost 20 years later (yikes!) that I feel confident I'll be able to polish it into something publishable. I'm reluctant to suggest you move on because I, like you, felt like I needed to get this story out of my system, that I could not move on as a writer until I got this out of my system.
However, I do think you might benefit from a break. Put it aside. Try writing short stories. It sounds as if you are learning the craft in leaps and bounds, simply by writing, and it's natural that your old stuff will be painful to read. Short stories let you increase your craft with much less time commitment. Maybe there's a short story you can write about one of your characters, even, his or her past, or just an anecdote. Better yet, just write about something completely new for a spell.
Alternatively, just finish it! It sounds like you haven't run into a plot issue yet, so just go for it. Do you know where it's ending? If not, maybe sit down and plot a rough course for yourself. Then schedule time for it and go for it. For now, ignore the length, ignore the fact that you think the writing is terrible. Turn that part of your brain off, if you can. That will come later. But it's important to try to get a completed manuscript so you can see what the story is. Once finished, let it age for a year or two, or as long as you can bear, then you can go read it with a critical eye. But don't go back and start rewriting, again, from the beginning until it's finished. You need to have the completed draft, if only for a sense of accomplishment, but more importantly to have the story in its entirety for you to review and critique.
Five drafts is not uncommon. 20 drafts is not uncommon, from what I read.
posted
Try restarting it at some other point---beyond what you've written---if the characters and ideas still have resonance for you.
(I finished my first novel when I was eighteen. It was finished, but it wasn't very good. But a couple of elements---come to think of it, a couple of characters---popped up elsewhere in my work much later.)
posted
Question: when you start over again, do you start cold, or do you rewrite what you wrote before?
If you are rewriting old stuff, you could be rewriting all the life out of it.
If you start it cold (without any previous versions to refer to), then you have a better chance of writing it the way it should be written, using the writing skills you have now. This is the recommended approach when you've got something you've worked on and reworked for a long time.
posted
I agree with Jamie: file it and start on a new one. Let it get as far from your mind as possible (that means don't think about it). It might morph into a differnt story, or characters may be cannabilized by a different story, and you will know everything about them already. Or you might come up with another idea, eventually, that can be combined to renew your story and give it a proper ending.
Posts: 3687 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
Thanks for the input, guys. Wow, lots of conflicting advice... *ponders how to attempt them all at once*
That Plot Orphanage thread is awesome. This one is definitely a relationship, make no mistake.
I did try the 'hit reset and start something else' approach a while ago. It almost worked - I think my mistake was going for another novel. I was never that committed to the new one, and I had devoted so much time to the world-building of my original novel I couldn't write a different novel without feeling guilty. It was an affair: Novel A was my soulmate, Novel B felt like a dirty bit on the side. So I drifted back to Novel A. Novel B is still around, somewhere, but it's stopped calling me - it's moved on.
I wrote half a page yesterday, which isn't much and which I didn't much like, but it's still something, so I guess I haven't given up just yet. I definitely want to finish it. It's going to be a tough old slog - maybe I'm a glutton for punishment - but I am going to get there in the end...
But yeah: maybe a break could do me some good. I should probably try writing short stories again. Time was when I would write a few now and then, as a way of venting ideas I liked but which won't go into the novel. It sounds like a good way of giving myself a breather without abandoning ship entirely.
Kathleen: yep, every rehash I start writing cold. I keep some plot elements of the previous version, but the changes are always so major as to make older versions completely unrecognisable. I think that's why I never thought of just redrafting when I was done - I knew a total rewrite would be necessary.
[This message has been edited by marchpane (edited September 05, 2008).]
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