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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Open Discussions About Writing » A comment about my submitted story for amateur contest.

   
Author Topic: A comment about my submitted story for amateur contest.
walexander
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Because I'm doing W1S1 I submitted a flash story to an Amateur contest where writers are invited to write a story about this Artists bi-weekly painting. The prize: The original sketch. He posted his comments on different stories. This was mine. Needless to say I didn't win, but his comment cracks me up.

"I’m not really sure if I completely understand “A PAINTING WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS” by William Knight. His story had a bit of “Waiting for Godot” surrealism that alternated between a fantasy and exaggerated reality. Slightly hard to follow I think that the story had an angry tone, was it possibly meant to be a bit of an oblique insult at this project? I’m not sure whether to be flattered or weirded out by his use of my name throughout. The paradox of the pretty girl against the reality that can make her not so attractive is really explored by a couple of the authors."

-Kenny Mencher

I love his comment. I hate being normal. I'd rather stand out than be considered boring. It means I'm on the right track with my writing with plenty of room to grow. And I did kind of take a dig at the contest so I don't really deserve to win.

If you want to have a laugh you can read the whole story at:
http://kenney-mencher.blogspot.com/2011/01/write-story-about-liza-lott-and-win.html

Mine is called: A painting worth a thousand words - It's the third story down. I use the pen name: William Knight.

W.

PS: I really doubt now that I'm going to win for my story: Transparent Intentions for his contest called: Hope Ferterbest - that I submitted a few days ago. If he didn't like my first I doubt he'll like that one.

You can find it here. Its the second story in comments.
[URL=http://kenney-mencher.blogspot.com/2011/01/write-story-about-hope-ferterbest-and.html]http://kenney-mencher.blogspot.com/2011/01/write-story-about-hope-ferterbest-and.html[/UR L]

PSPS: I did a sappy story just to balance the scale and stay ahead of my W1S1 - gives me more room for the longer short stories for WOTF and others. If you want sappy flash it's here called: Sisters of the soul.
http://kenney-mencher.blogspot.com/2011/01/write-story-about-pat-o-butter-and.html

[This message has been edited by walexander (edited January 19, 2011).]


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tchernabyelo
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May I suggest you look at proof-reading your work? In the second sentence you have "use to" instead of "used to", "walk on rolls" for "walk-on roles", and "a verity of make believe worlds" (where I think you might mean "a veritable plethora of make-believe worlds", but I can't be sure).

This is the sort of thing that editors really do take notice of; a couple of mistakes like this early in a piece is all the excuse many overworked editors need to just put one manuscript aside and start on the next.


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RoxyL
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So I looked at the website out of curiosity last night. And this morning I wrote down a story that popped into my head.

Is this worth taking seriously at all? I know it's not paid, and I'm kind of lost by all the posted legalease. And yet I've got 900 words that I don't know what to do with if not submit it. (I'm a submission chicken - only two things submitted last year). Is there somewhere better to submit a WWII vignette?
Any advice?


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redux
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If I understood the legalese correctly, by submitting an entry you grant Kenney Mencher (and any of his agents) copyright over your entry in perpetuity.

quote:
Entries become sole property of Kenney Mencher.... Contest entrant/Author name will be acknowledged or credited ...

No thank you.

Seems a bit too much to ask - to give up complete control over your work just to participate in a contest. All you get is the writing credit. But that's it. I wouldn't do it.

[This message has been edited by redux (edited January 19, 2011).]


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walexander
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Thanks Tch-

Like I said I still have a long way to go, but as KDW has said to many others here, just the act of getting something out teaches you a lot. I'm constantly working on my vocab, but it will be years before I have all the little details memorized. My vocab is already far better than it ever was, but still lacks the significant volume and understanding of a seasoned writer. Punctuation and grammar, slowly little by little, with repetition, it will slowly sink in.

But thanks for the notes.

Rox - I didn't take the contest very serious. I was just under deadline to submit something before the week was out for W1S1.
If you're worried about legal I believe there is a note, that you can send him whatever contract you wish and he'll review it.

I got an e-mail from him just a little while ago, and even though I didn't win he still wanted to send me a sketch for my work. So in a sense I still won.

In doing the W1S1 I've noticed quite a lot of people want submissions on Duotrope for no pay or if lucky 1 cent per word. For me I'm just trying to get a few stories out of the computer and into the world. I already have started to notice that just the effort in pushing myself makes me feel better about writing.

Thanks again Tch - For bigger stories to professional markets I'll be begging here for proof readers. Till then I'll keep working on my skills.

W.

[This message has been edited by walexander (edited January 19, 2011).]


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philocinemas
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Please don't be offended by this: I used to tell people that worked for me (some who had masters degrees), who had to write clinical notes about clients, that the little green, blue, and red lines in MS Word documents weren't there for decoration. I was able to deliver that comment in a nonthreatening manner that generally received laughter.

In fiction, these lines are less important because fiction breaks many grammar rules. However, I always try to at least find out what the Word is trying to tell me, then I make a decision as to whether to ignore it or not. Just a consideration.


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walexander
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Phil-

Never worry, always fire away, I'm still a novice, and need all the advice I can get.

For the most part it's small dumb mistakes I'm making, but as I make them, they stay inside my head for the next time. I'm a visual person so seeing things helps me memorize them.

As Tch. pointed out - use instead of used - I'll have to memorize because they both sound right in my head but are different tenses.

Role instead of roll. Brain fart. What more can I say.

Walk-on instead of walk on. This one - I still have yet to understand hyphenated words. So this is going to be a problem for me. For I don't understand the rule for their use.

Similar problem I have is compound words. Because in my head they both sound the same. So why one over the other?

Whatever the problem is, it can be fixed.
What ever the problem is, it can be fixed.

Is something the matter?
Is some thing the matter?

I realize this probably goes to what you are talking about Phil. About understanding the context of the word. The biggest problem is they are rarely underlined. So MS Word is usually no help.

Any advice is appreciated.

W.

[This message has been edited by walexander (edited January 19, 2011).]


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philocinemas
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That's ironic, I always have them - and grammar is one of my strong suits. Give me a day or so and I will give you some generalized grammar rules to go by. I am currently sick and I took some NyQuil about twenty minutes ago, so I am quickly fading...
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redux
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I'll give the grammar thing a go - at least my understanding of it.

Hyphenated words that consist of a verb + preposition (i.e. walk-in, walk-on) typically take on the function of an adjective. Such as: Hitchcock often had walk-on roles in his own movies. Or: The master suite has a walk-in closet. These are different from compound words, such as "t-shirt" or "high school," which are hyphenated or unhyphenated depending on what the dictionary tells me


"Is something the matter?" vs "Is some thing the matter?" reminds me of the saying :

quote:
What is matter? Never mind. What is mind? Never matter.
.

The exact rules of grammar as to why they are different eludes me at the moment. Never mind - adverb+noun vs nevermind - noun. Something like that. Philocinemas, hope you feel better soon so you can explain it to us


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walexander
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No problem. Thanks Phil.

The good things that come from being sick. Wild dreams and ideas, time off of work, and if your lucky some love and attention.

Hope you feel better Phil,

W.

Thanks redux every little bit helps.

[This message has been edited by walexander (edited January 20, 2011).]


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Smiley
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When I was thirteen I spent the entire summer reading the family encyclopedia and Webster's Unabridged Dictionary. It was a very hot summer.

Anyway, I became the family expert on spelling and trivial information and was immediately labeled 'weirdo' by my younger brother. Eh, I lived.

I often thank boredom for making me better at some things in my life. Now if I can only get to know patience better.


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